Otherwise everything else happening ITC is reality.
Men spending money on women one way or another is a part of life. That's reality. The sensory input (eye candy/company/conversation/physical contact/endorphins, etc.) is also as real as it gets.
Caring whether she actually means/likes it is where PLs stumble.
Clear that hurdle, and club interactions can be the best controlled relationships a guy can have.
Thoughts?
Are you saying that as long as she acts like she likes it then it shouldn't matter to us whether she actually does? That's the attitude I'm trying to have, but I'm very new at all this.
Yes Farco. That's the hurdle.
Treat her like a one-night stand that you'll never see again. Until you do. Rinse and repeat.
I've been married and had girlfriends. A stripper regular feels more like a wife than a girlfriend. When women get married, they look at the sexual attractiveness of the male but often also think about the financial situation of the guy. When I'm visiting a regular at the strip club, she is nice to me because I'm kind of taking care of her a little bit by giving her money to help pay her bills. Back when I was young and got married, I think my wife was attracted to me but also was tired of guys who just wanted to have sex with her and was looking for someone who would also take care of her a little bit.
Emotional attachment can happen very easily in a strip club. The proof of this is in how easily the women will blow their cool when their feelings get hurt.
SJG
Nothing wrong w/ enjoying it - that is what strip-clubs are for and what one is paying for - my issue personally is w/ PLs that think that "it's not about the money with them" and they, and their dancer, are somehow the exception; i.e. that "his dancer is different" and she is "genuinely into him" and that "he's different".
While there are always exceptions IMO that is what they are, exceptions - very few custies are the exception and the ones that think they are most of them aren't.
Many of the delusional PLs couldn't get laid in a morgue (in real life) yet somehow they convince themselves of being casanovas in the club - I always ask a simple question - if hot young girls like strippers are genuinely into you, then why spend $100s in the club and not just date them for free in real life? The answer is obvious although man will come up w/ a dozen-excuses.
As I've often posted - strip-clubs are bizarro-world and should be taken w/ a grain-of-salt - in bizarro-world the dancers pretend to like the PLs and the PLs pretend to believe them, and everyone is happy and gets what they are looking-for/need (companionship for $$$ - basically a free-market transaction).
Breaking the stripper customer rela and making it something more is very possible.
But it depends on several factors.
Age difference Similar lifestyle Physical attractiveness to each other...is she the type of girl you'd get if she was a civvie Can you relate to each other
Even then it's an uphill battle. Those things can just make you a good customer. She needs an incentive....not money. To give up a good customer. Otherwise you'll end up a semi sugar daddy at most.
For older or less desirable customers. It comes down to if she's desperate ie had an addiction kids etc. Or she wants to quit dancing and he can take care of her. In which case he's usually just a stepping stone til she gets a little settled and finds someone better.
Being a regular or even semi regular customer is one of the worst positions if you ever want more. And if you pay for sex that automatically puts you in a negative category.
"That's the attitude I'm trying to have, but I'm very new at all this."
The strippers here (and especially at reddit r/strippers) are great examples. Would you pay them anything ITC for the, um, lack of sexually they present here? (I'd pay them to stay away.) Guess what? They're the same girls taking your money in the club.
On the other hand, part of me doesn't want to deprive baby-PLs of the crushes and heartache that's part of the learning curve and SC experience.
Forget I said anything.
"That's the attitude I'm trying to have, but I'm very new at all this."
You can actually experiment with it on a small scale here. The strippers only respond well to compliments, likes, and being fawned over (instead of money), otherwise their posts drip with negativity. Try disagreeing with them once, and you'll usually be personally and disproportionately attacked.
This is why I would rather only deal with women in the paid-to-behave SW environments. If only the whole world worked like that.
Too honest? Lol. That's what marriage and divorce does to some guys.
Papi chulo the strippers liking customers seems especially possible with the younger guys, and if theyre attracted to each other. If you’re asking girls on dates and paying for them thats a waste of money that would be better spent on a stripper or escort. Most guys if they want multiple women seem to have to lie and cheat on the girls theyre dating. The strip club saves a lot of time.
But of course this assumes you eventually get into otc with the stripper, within a few weeks. If youre not doing otc with her ans only getting lapdances, that’s also a waste of money.
Papi why do the celebrities, athletes, and very rich men go for strippers, or instagram model escorts or pornstars? There is something to it, these guys could easily literally go anywhere in the country and have thousands of fan girls begging to sleep with them, yet for some reason they seem to prefer strip clubs and escorts. Is it just trying to avoid drama? They could likely get civvie girls for free who are just as hot or hotter than the pornstars or escorts
^ That's assuming a bit more than is actually happening, most guy's don't go often to strip clubs, for real this is a skewed perception of what's actually happening in the real world.
Except for being a divorce lawyer for 39+ years and with my wife for 32+ years I know very little about marriage and divorce. Paying women for sex is easy. Having a full-on relationship is hard, very hard. Despite the myriad of divorcees blaming the other side 100% I find its usually closer to 60/40 and the foundation of a good marriage can be explained thusly: 10s don't marry 5s.
There is way too much thinking going on in this thread for a simple guy like me. 😉
Yes, part of what I like about SCs is being catered to in exchange for cash. It's pure as nobody is remotely confused about what the other person wants.
But I don't get the difficulty in maintaining a certain amount of emotional distance. There are the girls who you marry and the girls who you just play with. I've never really had trouble distinguishing between the two. Now I'm a huge believer in treating every girl with kindness and dignity, but a girl who chooses a life where she puts herself on display for public consumption and rubs in the lap of anyone with $30 in his pocket was never going to be in the running for the role of future ex-wife, lol.
My thoughts exactly, rickdugan. If my goal is to enjoy the physical connection and ignore any emotional one, why would I ever take her OTC?
When I take them OTC it's understood I'm expecting Jezebel from the club, not Jane the emotional wreck.
===> "If my goal is to enjoy the physical connection and ignore any emotional one, why would I ever take her OTC?"
To deepen the "physical connection" even more? 😉
Hilarious thread. Gotta give Scrub credit for his post. I picture the Drill Sergeant from Full Metal Jacket belting out Scrub’s words.
Twentyfive what do you mean? Look at some of the famous nba players and rappers, these guys are often paying instagram models 1-2k to spend time with them and for sex. Why do that when they could easily get free sex? Is it mostly to save on time investment of searching and arranging the free sex.
A lot of young women are very interested in older men.
SJG
There's a difference between spending money on a girl vs for a girl.
Strip clubs are businesses. The girls there are working. You're paying for their time and they're nice to you coz of that. The problem is when men interpret it as anything more. When a stripper really likes you you'll know it. If you're guessing she doesn't