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Politics
3 years ago

An important, REAL, and roaring good political topic - a call to activism

Most of the political shit you damn dirty apes post is just plain stupid. Whine whine whine the world isn’t exactly the way I want it to be oh boo hoo woe is me. Here’s a hint, just listen to the dugan. He’ll tell you the best hairless ape policies.

As for me, I could give a shit less because I’m a frickin’ lion. But there is one US policy that I feel strongly about and I would like to see if I can’t generate some interest and perhaps inspire some activists. What is that topic? Pennies. Frickin’ pennies.

I mean really, the metal that goes into a frickin’ penny is worth more than a penny. But that is no help to anybody because its not like you can melt ‘em down for the zinc or molybdenum or uranium or whatever the fuck that make those lil’ fuckers out of. Nope…pennies are fucking worthless. Stores should just say fuck it and round to $0.05 in favor of the customer. That is a frickin’ way to maker your customers happy for zero to four cents. If 7-11 did that shit with microwave burritos the Cacaplop ape would start to believe he’s a frickin’ winner and stop trolling. That fucker should leave the trolling to the zebras…

Anyhoo, I digress. I was inspired to post this because I saw a news story about some stupid ape put a frozen penny up his ass and couldn’t get it out. Now, I’m sure that he’ll eventually shit the penny out, but my bigger rick point is that ass pennies are fucked up. I have never inserted anything into my ass unless the intent was to keep a good buzz going. You know, like a tampon soaked in Jack - a Jackon, if you will. Well, I suppose it is possible I’ve put shit up my ass while I’m in an alcoholic fog and not really paying attention, but I think my anal activities have largely been restricted to me putting my BSLC into the ass of sexy females.

Anyhoo, I digress again. What I’m really saying is that all of you should call your congressapes and senators and tell them to instruct the Treasury Dept to stop making frickin’ pennies. I was going to come up with a cool stop making Pennie’s acronym for the name of the bill to stop making pennies but I think Imma just suggest the “Don’t let stupid apes put pennies up their asses” act.

Make the world a better place. Listen to the dugan and stop the frickin’ pennies! ROAR!!!

comments (9)

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Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion

TL;DR - stupid apes put pennies up their asses and it needs to frickin’ stop. Help me make this shit happen! ROAR!!!

Avatar for Mate27
Mate27

Brilliantly written, Mr. Lion. Of course what else would you expect from a Rick? We’re you drunk from too many whiskey soaked tampons up your ass when you posted this? A Jackon post!

Avatar for Goodclubrep
Goodclubrep

A Kiwi told me over 20 years ago that in New Zealand they made 5 "cents" the lowest coin denomination. Then, people stopped picking up nickles. Sadly it wasn't a Kiwi in VIP. that would have been a far better story!

Avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl

Anyhoo is to rickthelion what "excuuuse me!" was to John Belushi. We even got a twofer this time.

The concern is that eliminating small money denominations influences damn dirty ape psychology in ways that cause more inflation. Long-term keister-stashed coins, in a small way, reduce the velocity of money and thus reduce inflation.

Avatar for MackTruck
MackTruck

Brilliance!

Avatar for MackTruck
MackTruck

I dumpa load on da politics. Let's talk about Flapperjack tiddyz!

Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion

Good point Libby-Ape or whatever the fuck you’re name is.

However, this rick has an idea to curb inflation. Imma do one of them TikTok challenges or whatever in an effort to convince hairless apes to shove a roll of quarters up their ass. If my challenge goes viral it will cool the economy by removing money from circulation and keeping it in klisters.

Who the fuck am I kidding. I just like to laugh when hairless apes abuse themselves by putting foreign objects up their asses. That’s some funny shit. ROAR!!!

Avatar for nicespice
nicespice
Avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl

@nicespice don't be mean from the jelly, you wouldn't cover your house fee if she was up in the club 👅.

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