ATF

ATF can't be categorized by mileage or looks. It is chemistry. Person X really pleases person Y, so person X becomes person Y's ATF. There are as many different reasons why this happens as there are persons.

Well for me it's primarily about how well they fuck providing they aren't complete bitches (or if they are they at least know to keep their fucking mouths shut).

arbeeguy pretty much nailed the answer - good job

How does anyone become friends? As he said, there is just "chemistry"...everything just clicks together. In most cases, it is NOT about the mileage, so you need to re-think that idea immediately. Sure, there is a certain minimum requirement for looks, but again, that is usually not the primary factor either. It's the total package.

I've probably been going to strip clubs for more years than you have been on this earth, yet I've only had one - and only one - ATF. I didn't set out to find an ATF, it just happened. Although she is attractive, she is not what I had always considered to be "my type". And there are several girls at her club that I think are prettier than she is. And as far as mileage goes, she is, by a lot of standards, a somewhat low mileage girl - not at all a dirty dancer.

So, you see, this is not an easy question to answer. Often, an ATF is just someone you can have a platonic friendship with. It's about trust, not lust and mileage. Does she trust you enough to exchange phone numbers or see you outside the club in a non-sexual context.

If you a new dancer, getting a customer to view you as an ATF can be a good source of income - but you can't force it. You can't make it happen. And offering extras and high mileage is not the answer to getting a customer to view you as your ATF.

In this context, all that is required to be an ATF is to be female and a dancer. From that point on, all is objective and most likely, all different.

To me having an ATF implies a "relationship" that is deeper than a customer/dancer deal. In my mind, there is at least a friendship established.

Interestingly, within the last few months, I've met another dancer and have really enjoyed her company, as well. I find her extremely attractive, and sexy (even sexier than my ATF). We've even OTCed twice, and have taken things much further than I've gone with my ATF. Even still, I don't have visions of her challenging my ATF for that spot. She's nice and all, but I don't feel we have enough in common and a deep enough mental connection.

Not getting this: If there isn't enough "chemistry" that she'll want to fuck you how she be an ATF?

Bobbyl, that's not what everyone is looking for. Different people go to clubs for different reasons. My ATF achieved that status because she treated me exactly the way I wanted to be treated and never stopped doing so. She still does and I've known her over 10 years.

So its a mix of things like a favorite waitress at a diner?

I love the concept of an ATF, but I abandoned the notion a while ago because it just brought me too much headache & drama. Nowadays I prefer to play the field and experiment with new girls most of the time (I have a very short attention span anyway). What drives me crazy is when a dancer will try to assume the role of an ATF, and try to pussyblock other dancers from approaching you. I have yet to find a kind or pleasant way out of that one.

As used in a strip club context an ATF or All Time Favorite is a sort of of club girlfriend who is (in effect) "acquired" on an informal and non-exclusive basis by the PL, one generally that the PL "has a thing for" -whether a love attraction at some level or a purely physical attraction -where the PL generally favors that dancer to the exclusion of other dancers in a certain club as it concerns engaging in private dances, VIP sessions etc, and less often for OTC paid sex or other OTC platonic activities, sometimes paid and sometimes not

NOTE

1. PLs can have multiple ATFs, usually located in different clubs

2. Dancers can sometimes have more than one customer who considers them an ATF

3. Its not unusual for an ATF dancer to actually like their PL customer, and some will actually enjoy spending time with their PL, however its very rare for an ATF dancer to actually "fall in love" with a PL customer

4. Nearly all PLs who have ATFs are considered "regulars" of some type by the dancer, but not all regulars are considered ATFs

5. Strippers in general don't use the term "ATF", its more a product of stripper boards such as this one and others

Usually a dancer that gets to an "ATF" status with me is one that has a personality that meshes with mine. It is a given that I find her sexy to look at, but there are usually many dancers in a given club that are nice to look at. It is the personality that makes a difference.

As an example, one ATF that I have not seen in a while and miss to a certain extent is not my normal type. Granted she is a very nice looking young lady, but she was only 19 years old at the time. I normally am attracted to women a bit older than that. What caught me about her is that we had the same sense of humor and playfulness. I always had fun just hanging out with her. Plus, she picked up on me real quick. In our time together she never once asked me for a dance or money. She just went with the flow. She always knew I would take care of her before the night was over.

I usually think of ATF's as dancers I had a relationship with outside of the strip clubs. I believe all of them got into sexual situations with me of one sort or another at different times whether I knew it was coming or not. I didn't have sex with all of them but might have or could have if I had taken advantage of every opportunity. The question about what makes a girl an ATF is like asking what makes a guy and a girl boyfriend and girlfriend. Now if I never saw the girl at all outside of the strip club, I just call her one of my favorites versus one of my all time favorites. If you go by the technical definition, you can only have one All time favorite but I like to think of the term with an s on the end and call them ATF's.

CG...I agree on the term ATF. I use it as a catch all for the "special" ones. I have a tendency to think of dancers on different levels. Level 1 girls would be the ATFs. Level 2 would be the ones I like, but something is missing. If no level 1 girl is around, then a level 2 will do just fine.

ATF is sometimes confused with GFE in my opinion.

GFE - You have developed feelings for the girl that you wouldn't necessarily develop with a dancer. A relationship close to love if not in love.

ATF - ALL TIME FAVORITE "dancer". You have developed a friendship with a particular club dancer and enjoy her dancing abilities. You have deemed that she is the best dancer (for you) than any other dancer in that club.

I don't believe that relationships OTC strictly constitutes naming a dancer your ATF. If you have OTC with a dancer, then she's a girfriend (GFE) or mistress.

I also believe the term ATF does not imply that you can't get dances from any other club dancer. The ATF is your "favorite" not "only". If she was going to be your "only" dancer in the club that you get lap dances from, then she should be giving the term, "OTF"?

I define GFE differently.

For me, GFE is a level of service offered by the woman. She gives TO ME a "girlfriend" type of experience, in that she treats me luvvy-duvvy, maybe offers kisses and cuddles and less "direct" sexual contact, and basically has a soft touch which makes me FEEL wanted. It stimulates the emotions rather than the genitalia.

Where this definition differs from yours, Bones, is that I consider it something that's about how the woman behaves while servicing me; not so much, how I fee. She is attempting to MODIFY or INFLUENCE how I feel, yes, but it doesn't count as a GFE merely because I'm likely to feel that way. She has to go about TRYING to make me feel that way for it to be a GFE.

ATF is just, someone I like a lot and have known for a long time. She may or may not give GFE.

ATF means exactly what it says - of all the dancers you've ever met she's the one you liked the best. The why is irrelevant, we'll all have different reasons because we all like different things. And there can only be one ATF, you can have several faves but only one ATF.

FONDL: By definition, I totally agree. My true ATF is my first one. I am guilty of referring to a second dancer as my second ATF. They both were a personal part of my life. I knew their real names, addresses, phone numbers. They are the only two that I have ever seen OTC for meals and exchanged gifts with. They are the only two that I have totally trusted. They have both quit the business. No surprise. The difference is that with the first we were exclusive. When I was in the club we were married. Number two had to share me but she never complained about it. There is no special term for the second friend. I guess that I should refer to her as my second place all time favorite dancer.

"ATF" is not supposed to be meant literally. It is knowingly hyperbolic in a way that makes light of one's own over-the-top feelings and the fact that you can have more than one ATF. Only the irony-challenged would take such a self-deprecating term and insist on its word-for-word meaning.

To me, an ATF means an attachment the customer feels that's so strong it makes you forget what common sense should tell you about what is, after all, a stripper-customer relationship. It usually includes at least the impression that she has developed a strong attachment, too, so that she's treating you better than good business alone would explain. Usually, that's just an impression. The stripper simply does a very good job of making all her regulars feel like they're the only one.

Normally, an ATF doesn't actually provide sex, because she knows that the possibility of greater intimacy is what keeps her regulars going. Giving them everything they hope for would leave them with no reason to carry on further. Likewise, an ATF relationship doesn't necessarily include OTC hook-ups. If it does, they tend to be rather tame - she's careful to always leave the customer hoping for more.

I've only had one ATF that lasted for any duration. Over that time, I had sex and OTC hook-ups with other strippers, but they were more like regular relationships. When my ATF was in the club, she was all I cared about. She was different.

Chandler, I knew it was only a matter of time before you began disagreeing with everything I say again, you've been much too nice to me lately. What I can't figure out is why you feel compelled to do that every so often. I'm not playing that game anymore, it's become very tiring.

FONDL: I've been nice to you lately? It must have been a coincidence.

Seriously, I'm sorry if my comment was too personal. I've posted that same opinion here before, so it wasn't like I just decided to be anti-FONDL all of the sudden. The thing is, I really think you miss the spirit with which many people seemingly over-use "ATF". I can see how your opinion is determined by the fact that you clearly have one ATF, without hyperbole.

So it basically depends on the person as to how intamate or emotional that connection is before being considered an ATF.Ok I get it Im learning. :)

Actually the entire strip club ATF phenomenon is understood by very few outside the strip club world and probably not that many within the strip club world. It means different things to different people, however to most it means some kind of connection, no matter how small, between customer and dancer.

"And there can only be one ATF, you can have several faves but only one ATF.

In real life and in the USA we can only have one wife at a time, however one can have multiple girlfriends, so there's no reason in a club-reality world we cannot have multiple ATFs

In fact having a single ATF is probably very unwise to begin with if the patron starts to have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality

I have more than one All-Time Favorite ("ATF") but only one All-Time-All-Time Favorite. But then again, that ATATF is subject to change, as well, depending on how I feel about her. Or about a new girl.

:)

Wondergrl, some customers like to spend time with many different dancers, others like me prefer to get to know one girl really well and spend all our time with her. And when we find one we really like, we will keep going back to see her again and again, developing a relationship that may eventually extend beyond the club. Each of those relationships are likely to be different, some may involve sex, some may be limited to conversation and flirting.

We often refer to such a relationship as being club buddies - more than just a typical customer-dancer relationship but not quite a true friendship. And if we have one special girl like that who we have liked the best, we will call her our ATF. I've known my ATF for over 10 years and we've become close friends. I'd tell you more but everyone here is tired of hearing me talk about her (LOL).

For married guys at least, maybe single guys in some cases, AFTs can be like a club mistress with or w/o sex, and sometimes halfway decent friendships can evolve, and in fact the standard PL label might be less applicable

In my opinion, an ATF MUST provide CONSISTENTLY a GFE. I also believe that there needs to be a deeper relationship that goes beyond dancer/customer feelings, to something that borders on (or is) romantic feelings (or at least the dancers portrays it as such to you, whether it is or is not).

Again, in MY mind, there can be only one ATF. I've had five dancers during my "career" that have achieved the ATF designation. That designation remains, until when (and if) another dancer comes along and steals the "crown" from her. I've shared an OTC "relationship" with all five of my ATFs (past and present), though that doesn't imply that any dancer that I OTC with will be an ATF, as I've OTCed with quite a few dancers that for one reason or another never attained the ATF title.

A sexual relationship is not a requirement, and just like OTCing doesn't automatically qualify for ATFdom, neither does having a sexual relationship with a dancer. Again, I've intimate with several dancers, who never became an ATF. Of my ATFs, I've had a sexual relationship with 3/5 of them. Interestingly, my current reigning ATF is NOT one of the dancers with whom I've had sexual relations.

As many of you have read (and are most likely sick-to-death hearing about it), I most definitely have developed feelings for my ATF. Those feelings are probably stronger than they should be at this point and I've been trying to tone them down a bit, especially in light of a discussion or two that she and I have had, combined with several external things going on in her life and mine. Also, there is another dancer that is giving Miss ATF some strong competition. At this point, the up-and-comer (cummer?) doesn't have all of the qualities that Miss ATF has, and may never have them in my mind. That remains to be seen.

I agree with Shadow and others. There can only be on ATF. All others are current favorites. My ATF was a person who I would have loved to have known outside the club. She was the same age as me. She had the same sense of humor, she had the looks and body I consider to be the perfect combination. She liked me for me, not for my money. She was willing to postpone a visit with another customer, to sit and talk with me even when I didn't have enough money in my pocket to tip her.

I see we have a lot of views on this. For me, my ATF developed into that because she was better at providing the GFE. It's the next step after becoming a regular. First, being a regular has a lot of benefits. Remember the TV show Cheers? Norm would walk into the bar and everyone would yell 'NORM'! Well that's a time saver vs. constantly checking out who is who, deciding what to do with your dollars etc. That has its own novelty but you can do that anytime, even while having an atf. If she provides the experience consistently and there's some kind of click there, she can become an ATF, although I tend to use the term less literally to mee current fav.