Venting General Frustrations after Getting Back in the Hobby

I see since the start of COVID you have all this money saved up from your weekly allowance and you’re ready to splurge!!!! Man you have to have at least $50 saved up.

Treat the bartender right and become her friend.
The bartender at my club has introduced me to all my favorites, she knows me well, and it has resulted in some great times with the right dancers. The bartender also knows which dancers to avoid. My club is not an extras club either, so if that is your goal best to visit a dancer for 2 or 3 club trips before asking for OTC activities.

If I like her dances, I usually ask right away for her number. I have only known a few dancers that work on a regular schedule, so if you like her, got to have the number ASAP.

Hey scrubby do you have alzheimers? If you would remember some time ago Mr. Monk made jokes on himself living with his parents and saving up his allowance so he could go to a strip club.

I was simply following up on a joke that took place a long time ago.

Therefore, you can go back to being the typical uninformed half-wit senile douche you usually are.

Shailynn - please stop complimenting Scrubby - or get a room - lol!

I think the important thing is that you do your research here. It might sound odd, but there is good insight to be found. First, you research clubs to know what is available in the area. If your area is no extras, then you might need to look to OTC, to find full satisfaction.

I generally get a few dances before I ask for a number. But, I discuss extras shortly after meeting a dancer. If you are in the back room and tip the dancer after a few dances, then I’d ask for her number. If she won’t provide it, you either don’t give the proper vibe, or she’s not interested in doing OTC. I would just chalk it up as a no, and move on. Don’t let a dancer string you along, as nothing will come of it.

Guys can still have a decent time in a club with a minimal amount of money. It simply requires that you play up the chit chat at the bar. If you act like a dullard - it’s not going to work. A guy who offers good conversation and who looks safe, can be rare in some places. If you don’t have enough money to buy dances, you can still enjoy having a drink and chatting with half naked girls. You must be smart when a dancer asks you to buy her a drink - so tell her you will only pay a certain amount.

Spend money. Spend a lot of money. Become a regular of some dancers in the club. Ask them about OTC. When they say no, ask again next time. Be persistent. Strippers are interested in money, not lumber.

Columbus giving you a hard time? Have you tried all the clubs in your area? I saw I guess the shut down Sirens and Kahoots.

Bro you don't need an extras club ask about outside. If you get no just move on to the next. Or try Dayton.

Columbus is one of the few places in the Midwest that's actually growing. I haven't been in a couple years but maybe it doesn't have that rustbelt that sense of everyone getting the fuck out of here feeling

@Shailynn, Yeah, I was totally joking about all that basement stuff . . . .

@Muddy, Columbus is growing, but it's run by prudes, hence when voters approved four casinos to be built in the state of Ohio 10 years ago, the Columbus one was put way out on the West Side in the ghetto so as not to ruin the family-friendly image they want for downtown. The vice squad has historically been very zealous here as well. Less so since it came to national attention with the Stormy Daniels arrest, and the CPD detective who murdered a streetwalker who was resisting his advances and claimed self-defense.

@Cowboy, the bartender angle is interesting, but I typically club on weekend nights when the bartenders are slammed and can't talk.

Identify the girl you want to be waking up in the mornings with, and then approach her yourself. Demonstrate charm and generosity and let it develop. Buying dances is a chumps game.

SJG

^I've had a similar experience with a bartender a while back at a Penthouse Club and later Scores. I didn't have to talk to him too much, but we did shots together and, after a few times I was there, he started pointing out girls to me or pointing girls in my direction. It took him a bit of watching me to learn what I liked. Once in a while, I didn't like his suggestions, but it is an icebreaker to be introduced by someone that the dancers are comfortable with. You can only do this if you are seen as a semi-regular there. I only visited a few times a year but we did get to know each other.

What is the playbook in a club/market where extras are non-existent, assuming you are interested in more than just dances? Do you A) become a regular, B) do VIP even though nothing happens, C) A and B, or D) something else entirely (write-in answer),..."

In an environment where extras are truly difficult if not impossible, you're going to look for a club you like that perhaps has a more permissive reputation, even if it's not high-mileage, and you will need to become a regular there. Becoming a familiar (non-creepy) face will work in your favor.

And you will also probably need to spend some money (at least initially) on stage tipping, lap dances, and/or VIPs that don't produce a lot of ... results. You will also need to cultivate the habit of politely asking about what you're actually looking for. Whether you ask the very first time you meet a dancer or after a visit or two will depend on whatever vibe you get from the dancer.

"...and when do you ask for the number? Related: How do you avoid being strung along by dancers who know you want digits/OtC, but either have no intention of providing said, or want to milk you for as much as they can in the club first?"

Asking about a dancer's schedule is a good way to transition to asking for a phone number. You can ask flat out, "Do you use a burner number to keep your fans up to date on your schedule?" How you avoid being strung along by a dancer is after, say, two or three times where you've asked for her number and she has found creative ways to not give it you, you go hang out with another dancer.

"Next, what do you do when you just want dances, but the vibe of the club is very laid-back, and it seems as if most of the dancers would rather sit on their phones together or wait for some guys to lock them down at a table than do the rounds asking, 'Want a dance?'"

You walk up to them and ask for dances or go to another club.

"PS How do you avoid being taken for a broke guy,..."

Spend money.

"...a cop,..."

Become a regular. Don't ask them to speak clearly into your lapel.

"...or a broke cop..."

Spend money. Become a regular. Don't ask them to speak clearly into your lapel.

"...(or any other kind of dude strippers would instinctively avoid)?"

Spend money. Don't be creepy.

Here's a tip that might be a longshot, but it could also be a shortcut. Create a Seeking[dot]com profile. You don't need to spend money to just search. Start searching the site locally and keep an eye out for familiar faces (from the club) or any woman who poses in front a wall of lockers. That's a stripper who does OTC. Granted, to message her via Seeking, you will need to fork over the membership fee. But that's cheaper than a half dozen fruitless VIPs.

Also, jump on Instagram and find the club profiles, or find people who geo-tag or hash tag themselves to a club. You will find dancers with "work" profiles that way. Not all, but many dancers make it clear (intentionally or accidentally) via their profile posts of IG Stories that they see regulars outside the club. Some dancers also post when they'll be working at a club.

@Ishmael, great tips. I tried them all and got nowhere. This market just sucks that badly. Seems as if there's been a huge influx of hot new girls who don't have a clue what the strip club game is. They never seem to ask for dances (from anyone), and you can't even leave hints about OtC because they won't understand what you're talking about.

then it at this point it all depends how far you're willing to travel. when i was younger i would trek to clubs in areas that were 2 hours away from home.

ohio huh? damn that sucks dude.

if i was in your situation i would plan for a trip once or twice. where? i would target indiana or lexington ky. check out the reviews of the clubs in those areas and then proceed accordingly.

how far are you from both of those cities?

LecherousMonk being in Columbus means there is virtually no chance at extras ITC at any of the clubs around there. However, there are plenty of options for OTC around C-bus. Weekend evenings have the best looking talent and the best party atmosphere but that is going to be the worst time to try to line up OTC. There are a lot of girls working those shifts that either make enough during their shifts to be happy or who work a vanilla job during the week and then dance on the weekends just to make some extra money that your odds of finding a girl that is willing to meet OTC is probably under 10%.

Weekday afternoons or slow evenings are going to be your best time to look for OTC. You are likely going to have to spend some money on dances or vip at the club before asking about OTC. I have found that spending money on a few visits close enough for her to remember you is the key to opening up the possibility of OTC. It doesn't have to be big money, just a few lapdances or one vip on each visit is usually enough during slower times but if you are trying during busier times you may need to spend more.

If you have a problem with being suspected as a cop I would suggest pushing the limits on contact during dances to "prove" you are not a cop. Just be careful not to go too far to either piss her off or catch the eye of the bouncers because you can get kicked out real quick in Columbus.

Once you have laid the groundwork, I have always found that the best way to ask for OTC is just to simply ask something basic like "Do you ever do any private shows outside of the club?" You will get a variation of one of 3 answers - 1) No, I only work here 2) I do bachelor parties but no 1-on-1 shows 3) Only with customers I trust. The third option is usually the most common which is why I usually try to ask towards the end of my first visit with a girl, that way during the next visit you have the door already open to ask "Do you trust me enough to do a private show outside of here yet?" If it takes more than 3 visits for her to say Yes cut your loses and move on unless she is exactly what you are looking for and you are enjoying the ITC dances enough to keep spending money on just that.

Given your location you are going to have to put in some effort to set up some OTC but it is possible. Just be sure to enjoy the prep work of getting dances and not just focusing only on whether you get OTC or not.

If all else fails you are close enough for a day trip to Detroit or NE Ohio where you have much better odds of ITC extras.

Detroit is about 200 miles from Columbus. You could drive here and spend the weekend in strip clubs.

IMO/IME not much one can do when in a shitty strip-club city/area b/c it’s not as if one can just go and hit a different/better club.

IMO unless one is an experienced SCer and good at closing-deals/being-persuasive, then it’s usually gonna be blue-balls-city.

Unless you are the persuasive type then you may just have to look for alternatives like taking a weekend-trip to another city if you have that flexibility; or maybe look into sugar-daddying; or learn how to be more persuasive and w/ time be able to get some girls to OTC if you have the patience and wanna put in the effort – I’m not familiar w/ Cbus SCs but I get the sense that girls that work in low-mileage-clubs are usually not that gung-ho about the OTC thing. Of course $$$ can often fix a lot of problems so if $$$ is not an issue then one can dine-and-wine some dancers ITC to where they may subsequently agree to OTC as to not lose a cash-cow-regular but one would need to be in that financial situation and be willing-and-able to part w/ a fair amount of ITC $$$ over a certain-amount of time in order to “grease the OTC wheels”.

I’ve never lived in a bad SC city so can’t say I know how to overcome such a problem.

Back in the mid-2010s I would make the 200-mile drive from Miami to Cocoa Beach every couple of months for a change-of-pace/scenery - I'd leave on a Fr after lunch and sometimes spend the night in Cocoa Beach and drive back the next day and sometimes I'd just drive-back that same night - but I had that flexibility to where I didn't have to answer to anyone w.r.t. whereabouts and I also had a good SC scene in Miami to where I didn't have to go w/o till I hit Cocoa Beach.

Thanks for the responses, guys. I can't travel at all, so that's a non-starter.

If I were to summarize my problem areas to work on they would be the following:

Not rich enough to be a whale Feel guilty if I go more than 1-2 times a month for some reason. Not bold or suave enough to connect with the dancers enough to effectively communicate what I'm after.

All that said, I have got numbers here, but usually not till after doing VIP, which is a rarity for me, and none of those contacts have ended up responding. I guess my frustration goes beyond just the difficulty of jumping through hoops, but the fact that there are so many to jump through in the first place. Wishing Middle America would get its shit together with respect to attitudes around sex work the way it's in the process of doing with sports gambling.

Looks like you may have to go the escort or sugardaddy route or maybe massage parlors but who knows how good those scenes are in Cbus.

LecherousMonk said "They never seem to ask for dances (from anyone), and you can't even leave hints about OtC because they won't understand what you're talking about."

So, you ask them for dances. Also, don't "leave hints" about OTC. Just ask for OTC, and let them know what you want out of that time. It's pretty obvious that passively waiting for stripper sex to come to you isn't working.

Or, as Papi recommended, go to escorts:

eros.com

theeroticreview.com

“It’s pretty obvious that passively waiting for stripper sex to come to you isn’t working.”

It usually doesn’t work. Every once in a while, perhaps, but it’s pretty rare, except in the most extras heavy clubs. Even then, you often have to be the one to broach the subject of extras.

===> "Not rich enough to be a whale Feel guilty if I go more than 1-2 times a month for some reason. Not bold or suave enough to connect with the dancers enough to effectively communicate what I'm after."

Reading between the lines, including the rarity of your VIP visits along with what you posted above, it sounds like you may not have (or just don't want to spend) the green to be chasing stripper ass in a conservative place like Columbus, nevermind enjoying it often once you land it. It sounds like Whodey has a handle on the local scene and, as is often the case in more conservative areas, it is an ITC chase to OTC feeding combo game, which tends to get expensive and invariably comes with some misfires.

Just shooting straight here. As others have said and as I'm sure you know, there are far more efficient and cost effective ways to get laid than chasing after strippers.

===> "PS How do you avoid being taken for a broke guy, a cop, or a broke cop (or any other kind of dude strippers would instinctively avoid)?"

To summarize CMI's very well put points: Spend money and visit a few times within a certain timeframe so that you are a familiar face. If this is more of an investment than you are willing to make with no guarantee of a future return, it is understandable...see post above.

“go in often go in consistent spend some cash but don't overspend become a fucking regular with visual cued and physical effort be consistent and if you push, you will get take-out eventually”

This is pretty much what I do, I’m not at all looking for extras but have had almost every dancer I’ve met give me her number without asking. Think they just want to make me their regular but I’m loyal to no one.

Again, thanks all for the replies! I'll be re-reading this like a textbook for the next few months.

If you want dances just ask Spend what you want to spend If you give off broke vibes or are so square you seem like a cop. Well stripper hoes are good at reading that shit

"Not rich enough to be a whale" - you don't need to be a whale to be memorable. When I am in Columbus I usually don't get more than $100-150 in dances on a typical visit if I am looking for OTC. Once you find the girl you want to focus on just buying 3-5 dances with a decent tip is enough for her to remember you unless it is a busy night. Keep in mind that OTC rates in Columbus have gone up since Covid started. It used to be you could get a decent girl for $200-250 but now it is usually going to be anywhere from $300+ for most girls.

"Feel guilty if I go more than 1-2 times a month for some reason." Since I only club when out of town I very rarely visit the same club more than 2-3 times in a month and then it is usually anywhere from 2-6 months before I am back in that town to hit the same club again. While I am in town I often hit the same club on two or three consecutive days to see the same girl if I found on the first night that I want to pursue OTC with. Like I said before ask her about doing private shows outside of the club after you buy a few dances during the first visit, if she says she needs to trust you more before OTC ask when she works and follow up with another visit to buy a few more dances and another chance to try for OTC.

"Not bold or suave enough to connect with the dancers enough to effectively communicate what I'm after." Being suave matters when you are trying to pick up a civie girl but when you are looking for P4P she doesn't care if you are suave. She is more concerned about feeling safe that you aren't going to hurt her, arrest her or rip her off. As long as you can convince her you aren't dangerous don't worry about being suave.

From glancing at your reviews it seems like you prefer the more upscale Columbus clubs such as Columbus Gold, Vanity, Bucks, Kahoots (closed) and Sirens (closed). While these clubs have the best looking girls they also have the lowest odds of arranging OTC because the girls make decent money just selling dances at these clubs. Try some of the smaller clubs like Roadhouse, House of Babes, Private Dancer or even some of the clubs a little ways outside of Columbus like Fox Run (~30min south), Top Hat (~1hr north) or Fantasyland (~90 min north).

If you strike out at those just make the drive to Detroit, NE Ohio or Lexington/Louisville Ky where you can just do ITC without much hassle.