Who would win a TUSCL purge?

avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion
Straight outta tha NC, comin' atcha with an AK ready to steal your daughter. ROAR!!!
I’m counting myself out because I’m a rick and a lion. Obviously, I’d win. But among the rest of you, who’d win and why?

Remember, guns are not allowed. Any asshole can win with a gun but it takes skill to win the purge using lawn darts.

Okay, let’s set some ground rules: the hairless apes posting on this site are all locked in a Home Depot sans clothing. You get to defend yourself using anything you can find and get to work. I let you out after the herd has thinned to a single winner. Who goes first and how? Who wins the overall purge?

42 comments

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avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
What do you mean guns not allowed, it ain’t a purge without me and my SAW 😁
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
3 years ago
I can take down anyone and everyone with my 9 inch dagger.
avatar for SneakyClubster
SneakyClubster
3 years ago
While you were all out strip clubbing, I studied the blade.
While you all negotiated and had pre-marital extras, I practiced the blade.
While you all discussed and used pants with the right material for the sake of LDK'ing, I used the blade.
And now the purge is here, you're all unprepared. Except for me. For I studied THE BLADE
avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
3 years ago
Juice would win. Because in the end, we're all Juice.
avatar for NinaBambina
NinaBambina
3 years ago
I'd win.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Yup Nina would win by wearing yoga pants. You'd be so distracted, she'd chop off your hard on with a big machete before you knew what was happening.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
There are few things that scare folks like a tall naked guy covered in feces…

I’ll be doing the crane with a bad case of the squirts.

You can try to get close, but you likely won’t feel like a winner after.
avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15
3 years ago
MackTruck. Nobody would outlast the Shit Truck dump.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
If they survive the worst of it - SJG or CJ Kent might win. Once SJG starts talking about his organization - or CJ Kent starts quoting ancient philosophers, and “Playing along” with us - the rest of the guys will be fast asleep.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
Nina would win because even though I have the SAW I could never shoot her I love her too much
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
You've gotta know that RicktheLion and his colleagues, up in their high rises, are rehearsing for this every single day, running around in their underwear and firing paper clips at each other with rubber bands.

SJG

Jennifer Fischer
https://jenniferfisherjewelry.com/collec…

Peter Frampton - Do You Feel Like We Do (Live in Detroit)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVCWaWFm…

Thank You Mr. Churchill / Peter Frampton
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUNMmX5w…
avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
3 years ago
^ LOL!
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
3 years ago
Honestly, Nina would whip everyone's asses.

Also, a customer at November's Foot Fetish party at Dream Girls paid me to beat his ass in vip with and without shoes on. It was one of my most favorite vip sessions after 10 years of dancing. 10/10 would repeat. 🥰
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
3 years ago
Just a pair of hatchets for me. Chop, chop!!🪓🪓
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
A bow and arrows beats hatchets.

And I am good with such. Started practicing in jr high school.

SJG

Jazz Messengers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3vpiTgG…
avatar for misterorange
misterorange
3 years ago
^^
So... you started practicing last week?
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
I know Nina is confident, but I’m going to put my money on Blah.

She knows how to use a knife - and she doesn’t take shit from anyone!
avatar for misterorange
misterorange
3 years ago
@rickthelion - No guns?

Suppose I bring one anyway, let's say my Mossberg 590. First five rounds are 00 buckshot, and the last four are slugs to finish you off.

Then all the rules are null and void, right?
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
I love Blah to I love her as well I hope they feel the same way about me. I couldn't shoot Blah or Nice or any of our regular gals you know that. right 🙄
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
@ misterorange
Your Mossberg is useless against my SAW I win easily and I get to make a lion skin rug if my girls love me as much as I love them 😁
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
Before I started learning bow and arrows, I had gotten very good with a slingshot firing 1/4 inch steel ball bearings.

But bow and arrows would be better if faced with a "TUSCL purge"

SJG

Jazz Messengers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3vpiTgG…

Jennifer Fischer
https://jenniferfisherjewelry.com/collec…
avatar for doctorevil
doctorevil
3 years ago
Sorry, 25. SAWs are for pussies. This is what you need: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/M134_Min…
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
SJG - you don’t need conventional weapons to win this purge.

Just wait until the others are tired from their infighting - and begin telling us about Oldsmobiles, your organization, your privacy walls, a few tales of mathematics and zzzzz zzzzz zzzzz…..
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ I don't know how to fly a chopper so I guess the minigun1, is to heavy for an old grunt, like me
avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman
3 years ago
Bubbleyum, I bet beating a custie felt better than an orgasm.

As to Nina, I think I’d want her to kick my ass.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
Oh I know, TUSCLers will tire themselves out with infighting.

And yes a 7.62 mm (M14 ammo) mini-gun would be great. But why?

SJG

Jazz Messengers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3vpiTgG…

Jennifer Fischer
https://jenniferfisherjewelry.com/collec…
avatar for bkkruined
bkkruined
3 years ago
At home depot?

No Guns?

I'm gonna get me a few sledge hammers and then raid the ramset section....

(It's not a gun if it just puts nails in!!).
avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
3 years ago
This thread exemplifies what I said, that we're all SEAL Team 6 on the internet.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ Fuck Seal Team 6 I'm Chuck Norris and I'll kick your ass just for fun 😁
avatar for misterorange
misterorange
3 years ago
@25 - "I don't know how to fly a chopper so I guess the minigun1, is to heavy for an old grunt, like me"

I'll be your A-gunner so nothing to worry about. But we're gonna need some big young grunt to be the ammo-bearer because I can't carry shit.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
He He He!

SJG
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ Thanks bro LOL
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
Maybehandle the ammo hes we could get Tetradon to handle the ammo he's a big young guy lets check him out
avatar for misterorange
misterorange
3 years ago
^
If Tetradon can carry me across a stream, he's in.
avatar for NinaBambina
NinaBambina
3 years ago
Skifredo would die first.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
If you like I'll shoot him first LOL
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
Skifredo is a half boiled crab. We could just boil him the rest of the way.

Lately though I have observed that he has gotten more mellow and that it is more possible to have a conversation with him.

So maybe we should just let him be.

SJG
avatar for misterorange
misterorange
3 years ago
I'll take CJ Kunt hostage and strap him to that vertical saw machine for cutting plywood. Everyone will be so excited to watch him get sliced to pieces... that's when 25 opens fire on the crowd. Done.
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
3 years ago
Ooh! That's evil. I like it!!!!
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
3 years ago
I think the scene of this tuscl battle would be like this:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lrzKT-dFUj…

…and shadowcat would emerge in a blood stained sweater and be the victor over us all
avatar for rediguan
rediguan
3 years ago
^^ How did I miss this vid?! Welldone @nicespice.
avatar for 48-Cowboy
48-Cowboy
3 years ago
Everyone knows the cowboy always wins
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