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Who would win a TUSCL purge?

rickthelion

Straight outta tha NC, comin' atcha with an AK ready to steal your daughter. ROAR!!!

4 yrs ago · 1 min read

I’m counting myself out because I’m a rick and a lion. Obviously, I’d win. But among the rest of you, who’d win and why?

Remember, guns are not allowed. Any asshole can win with a gun but it takes skill to win the purge using lawn darts.

Okay, let’s set some ground rules: the hairless apes posting on this site are all locked in a Home Depot sans clothing. You get to defend yourself using anything you can find and get to work. I let you out after the herd has thinned to a single winner. Who goes first and how? Who wins the overall purge?

Replies (39)Latest

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twentyfive

What do you mean guns not allowed, it ain’t a purge without me and my SAW 😁

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motorhead

I can take down anyone and everyone with my 9 inch dagger.

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SneakyClubster

While you were all out strip clubbing, I studied the blade. While you all negotiated and had pre-marital extras, I practiced the blade. While you all discussed and used pants with the right material for the sake of LDK'ing, I used the blade. And now the purge is here, you're all unprepared. Except for me. For I studied THE BLADE

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NinaBambina

I'd win.

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ilbbaicnl

Yup Nina would win by wearing yoga pants. You'd be so distracted, she'd chop off your hard on with a big machete before you knew what was happening.

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Cashman1234

There are few things that scare folks like a tall naked guy covered in feces…

I’ll be doing the crane with a bad case of the squirts.

You can try to get close, but you likely won’t feel like a winner after.

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Warrior15

MackTruck. Nobody would outlast the Shit Truck dump.

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Cashman1234

If they survive the worst of it - SJG or CJ Kent might win. Once SJG starts talking about his organization - or CJ Kent starts quoting ancient philosophers, and “Playing along” with us - the rest of the guys will be fast asleep.

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twentyfive

Nina would win because even though I have the SAW I could never shoot her I love her too much

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san_jose_guy

You've gotta know that RicktheLion and his colleagues, up in their high rises, are rehearsing for this every single day, running around in their underwear and firing paper clips at each other with rubber bands.

SJG

Jennifer Fischer jenniferfisherjewelry.com

Peter Frampton - Do You Feel Like We Do (Live in Detroit) youtube.com

Thank You Mr. Churchill / Peter Frampton youtube.com

B
BubbleYum

Honestly, Nina would whip everyone's asses.

Also, a customer at November's Foot Fetish party at Dream Girls paid me to beat his ass in vip with and without shoes on. It was one of my most favorite vip sessions after 10 years of dancing. 10/10 would repeat. 🥰

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ATACdawg

Just a pair of hatchets for me. Chop, chop!!🪓🪓

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san_jose_guy

A bow and arrows beats hatchets.

And I am good with such. Started practicing in jr high school.

SJG

Jazz Messengers youtube.com

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misterorange

^^ So... you started practicing last week?

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Cashman1234

I know Nina is confident, but I’m going to put my money on Blah.

She knows how to use a knife - and she doesn’t take shit from anyone!

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misterorange

@rickthelion - No guns?

Suppose I bring one anyway, let's say my Mossberg 590. First five rounds are 00 buckshot, and the last four are slugs to finish you off.

Then all the rules are null and void, right?

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twentyfive

I love Blah to I love her as well I hope they feel the same way about me. I couldn't shoot Blah or Nice or any of our regular gals you know that. right 🙄

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twentyfive

@ misterorange Your Mossberg is useless against my SAW I win easily and I get to make a lion skin rug if my girls love me as much as I love them 😁

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san_jose_guy

Before I started learning bow and arrows, I had gotten very good with a slingshot firing 1/4 inch steel ball bearings.

But bow and arrows would be better if faced with a "TUSCL purge"

SJG

Jazz Messengers youtube.com

Jennifer Fischer jenniferfisherjewelry.com

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doctorevil
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Cashman1234

SJG - you don’t need conventional weapons to win this purge.

Just wait until the others are tired from their infighting - and begin telling us about Oldsmobiles, your organization, your privacy walls, a few tales of mathematics and zzzzz zzzzz zzzzz…..

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twentyfive

^ I don't know how to fly a chopper so I guess the minigun1, is to heavy for an old grunt, like me

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Huntsman

Bubbleyum, I bet beating a custie felt better than an orgasm.

As to Nina, I think I’d want her to kick my ass.

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san_jose_guy

Oh I know, TUSCLers will tire themselves out with infighting.

And yes a 7.62 mm (M14 ammo) mini-gun would be great. But why?

SJG

Jazz Messengers youtube.com

Jennifer Fischer jenniferfisherjewelry.com

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bkkruined

At home depot?

No Guns?

I'm gonna get me a few sledge hammers and then raid the ramset section....

(It's not a gun if it just puts nails in!!).

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twentyfive

^ Fuck Seal Team 6 I'm Chuck Norris and I'll kick your ass just for fun 😁

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misterorange

@25 - "I don't know how to fly a chopper so I guess the minigun1, is to heavy for an old grunt, like me"

I'll be your A-gunner so nothing to worry about. But we're gonna need some big young grunt to be the ammo-bearer because I can't carry shit.

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san_jose_guy

He He He!

SJG

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twentyfive

^ Thanks bro LOL

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twentyfive

Maybehandle the ammo hes we could get Tetradon to handle the ammo he's a big young guy lets check him out

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misterorange

^ If Tetradon can carry me across a stream, he's in.

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NinaBambina

Skifredo would die first.

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twentyfive

If you like I'll shoot him first LOL

Profile picture for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy

Skifredo is a half boiled crab. We could just boil him the rest of the way.

Lately though I have observed that he has gotten more mellow and that it is more possible to have a conversation with him.

So maybe we should just let him be.

SJG

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misterorange

I'll take CJ Kunt hostage and strap him to that vertical saw machine for cutting plywood. Everyone will be so excited to watch him get sliced to pieces... that's when 25 opens fire on the crowd. Done.

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ATACdawg

Ooh! That's evil. I like it!!!!

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nicespice

I think the scene of this tuscl battle would be like this:

…and shadowcat would emerge in a blood stained sweater and be the victor over us all

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rediguan

^^ How did I miss this vid?! Welldone @nicespice.

Profile picture for 48-Cowboy
48-Cowboy

Everyone knows the cowboy always wins

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