It's settled

and also Betty or Veronica? Ginger or Maryanne?

Betty and Mary Ann for sure.

and back in the day jugghead and gilligan both jerked off to all 4 of them

Here’s the way I look at it….

Mr Howell and Ginger hooked up. This was before the “me too” movement and Mr Howell was the Harvey Weinstein of the day

Gilligan and Mary Ann occasionally got together. You could tell she felt something for him. She gave Gilligan Coconut Cream pies and Gilligan gave her some cream back

The Skipper got nothing. Fat guys don’t shovel and fat guys don’t get laid. Trust me on that one.

Mrs Howell was a dried up prune that nobody would touch. They would rather jerk off into a pineapple than fuck her.

The Professor was like Sheldon on BIG BANG THEORY. Perhaps not gay, but rather asexual and absorbed in science.

Mr Howell is the one who brought Ginger on the 3 hour tour in the first place. She was his mistress. They were going at in the forward sleeper berth of the S. S. Minnow. Gilligan and the Skipper were watching through the skylight and not paying attention to the weather front.

From one of many articles on the subject: "It turns out that the myth and urban legend about “Gilligan’s Island” is true. You may never look at the popular show the same way again.

Perhaps, there was a reason the castaways never escaped that island they got stranded on during the main show. For years, people discussed rumors that the show’s characters represented the seven deadly sins. Also, the island was purgatory or Hell that the characters got trapped in.

Well, “Gilligan’s Island” creator Sherwood Schwartz confirmed to NPR that he was inspired by the “seven deadly sins” idea. Though Schwartz probably didn’t take that inspiration literally, the island does represent sort of a metaphorical purgatory. Seven seems to be a recurring figure in a lot of different artworks across history. For instance, there were seven wonders of the ancient world. (Though how many actually existed is up for debate). "

The characters all represented one of the seven deadly sins.

The Skipper was Wrath and Gluttony Ginger was Lust Mary Anne was Envy Mr Howell was Greed Mrs Howell was Sloth The Professor was Pride

Gilligan always managed to somehow ruin any efforts to get off the island.

Gilligan was Satan.

Nope, nope, the Professor is Satan. He invented the bamboo ballots that Joe Biden used to steal the election.

AOC is going to require schools to show Gilligan's Island, so kids can learn how to live with a zero carbon footprint.

I knew a dancer at the Columbia Platinum Plus that used Peebles as her stage name because she looked like Bam Bam's GF.