How Do You Politely Tell A Dancer To Go Away?
ClevelandTom
Ohio
One of the downsides to one of my favorite clubs is that there is one dancer who I used to enjoy spending time with who has fallen into disfavor with me because of her attitude.
She is an older dancer -- early 30's -- who I met when I first went into the club. She was great to talk to but gave really bad dances. She gave me some great advice when things were going bad for me once and I believe I helped her a bit when she was missing her daughter, who lived out of state. She was also struggling with the changes that time were doing to her body and she considered getting out of the profession.
Anyway, about two months ago, her personality changed. We used to talk for a little while and then go for a couple of dances (even though I didn't want them -- they were more to compensate her for her time). Lately, she would come over and ask me for dances or ask me to buy her a drink (which is a real turn off for me) and I would decline. The last couple of times, she would practically beg for dances and when I would decline, she would pester me for a reason why.
I tried to be nice and avoid giving her a reason but after she whined and whined and whined, I finally gave in and politely told her the reason. After that, I felt bad.
So. . . is there a good way to tell somebody to go away without making an enemy at your favorite club?
She is an older dancer -- early 30's -- who I met when I first went into the club. She was great to talk to but gave really bad dances. She gave me some great advice when things were going bad for me once and I believe I helped her a bit when she was missing her daughter, who lived out of state. She was also struggling with the changes that time were doing to her body and she considered getting out of the profession.
Anyway, about two months ago, her personality changed. We used to talk for a little while and then go for a couple of dances (even though I didn't want them -- they were more to compensate her for her time). Lately, she would come over and ask me for dances or ask me to buy her a drink (which is a real turn off for me) and I would decline. The last couple of times, she would practically beg for dances and when I would decline, she would pester me for a reason why.
I tried to be nice and avoid giving her a reason but after she whined and whined and whined, I finally gave in and politely told her the reason. After that, I felt bad.
So. . . is there a good way to tell somebody to go away without making an enemy at your favorite club?
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29 comments
I'm a little afraid to ask, but do you have any good stories from SW? :) Just teasing. If people post about them fine and if not that is fine also, imo.
There was a Lavine (sp?) from SW. She did a few posts. So, I did get a little of bit of a SW fix. ;) I'm surprised I was able to stay away from SW for so long----perhaps there are enough tid bits posted on TUSCL to help me out.
I have often thought the dancers should be plenty use to rejection, but some still feel it and I feel that hurt. Of course, I should be use to saying NO without feeling bad :( especially after years of strip clubbing. I had thought Shadowcat was sort of tough and then I learn he has a big heart! YIKES!!! So I guess even years of experience doesn't necessarily make a person tough as shoe leather. That is nice. :)
Wow, that is tough. I certainly would remember to take a NO from you the first time after that.
I was trained to be a pest. :) That means keep trying different angles and hope the person doesn't get pissed. And, some women like guys to be pests. Others will give you both barrels. I feel bad about provoking that reaction. Some women expect you to work and that isn't a problem if they're not getting upset for real. Anyway, I like the woman asking for dances much better. :)
One negative with fuck off strategy that has always concerned me is that I'd rather not make enemies at the club even if I dislike the dancer and she dislikes me. Much better to be on as friendly as terms possible, imo. Especially if you're going there regularly. OTOH, sometimes standing up for yourself even if done aggressively is appreciated.
This is theoretical, I've not tried this, but the harassment has gotten so bad in recent weeks from certain dancers, I am considering it
No there are problems with this of course, because some of these dancers would not be worth the 20 bucks, however since its not real anyways it doesn't matter - but it might be a way to turn it around and wake them up, and make them realize how obnoxious they are acting
Like I said I was just teasing with you. Sorry if I caused any offense. You told a nice story and I've read your a poster at SW. Just wanted to know if you had any nice stories to share from SW.
Seems like most of the ones shared over here from SW are depressing, which I guess that is fine. I just was hoping you might have some nice stories from SW. :)
In my normal haunt, I've known the bartender for years. She knew I had a favorite dancer and she or the dancer would call me when she was there. After the dancer left for medical reasons, the bartender told me I should spend time with another dancer. She wasn't anything I enjoyed. In any case, the bartender sort of picked the dancers for me. The rest would always leave me alone, unless I asked. When I had settled on one dancer as a favorite, all was good for a few visits, then she became a bit of a bore. I mentioned this to the bartender and was not approached again by her.
So, if you are in with a bartender, or a manager will work, it is easy to pick and choose without others bothering you.
Other than that way, shadowcat is correct.
Excellent point clubber. I don't recall any very negative bartenders--most were very good------at least to me they were very good or I didn't have a problem with them. And, it saves face for the dancer as well as saving hassle for the customer. I tipped extra for this service when the bartender had a good eye for what I liked.
I've only had to go as far as telling a dancer sturnly, "Listen, open up your ears and mind dear!" "My answer now is NO and will always be NO when you come and ask me again, and again, and again." "So, accept it, and don't bother me anymore!"
I prefer the above line. Good luck CT!
Of course, she would probably slap me, leading to me being shown the door by management.
"Gee let me see, let me look in my wallet, oh, you do 2 dollar dances per chance?"
Slighting a person in the hood doesn't seem like an unfounded fear of making enemies! :) Over at Honeys it seemed like all the dancers had done time and it wasn't just for parking tickets or hooking or drugs. Man some of them had some nice medals from combat e.g. scars from blades or bullets. Of course, just cause they had medals and served time don't mean they ain't pacifists. Very likely just be the victim of unfortunate circumstances. I miss the girls at Honeys (bulldozed to the ground), but that club made the other ghetto type clubs look like gentlemen's clubs so I don't know exactly how to find those type women anymore. :(
Yes, I did try craigslist! :)
If I was in touch with the little Goofball, then I could test my theory. Have her legally acquire a high power firearm and show her how to use it and then see if her rappers of choice are charmed away from the BIG mommies.
BESIDES, the title of the thread is How Do You POLITELY Tell A Dancer to Get Away? Not, How Do You Disrespect The Bitch Sos She Gets Gone!? :)
David9999 - BRAVO! Great idea! I do have an extra wallet and am going to do exactly as you suggested, on my next SC visit! I'll report the results in my next review. It will have to be a new SC, as my FAV dancers KNOW exactly where I keep my money! LOL
Advice from Uncle Bones: Just explain to the dancer that you have the HIV virus! Then, exit the club, because NOONE is coming within 10 feet of you!