Who is really in control?

Now and then a PL and a dancer can have a long term healthy relationship, perhaps 5% of the time - if the Dancer is skillful enough to keep the illusion going, but do it in a reasonably honest way, and the PL understands the innate limitations of the "relationship"

However for the 95% playing the SS game at its highest level

Ask yourself this: what makes them the most angry? Basically when a PL goes off script and the Dancer sees her control slipping away - with such things as:

1. Sudden unpredictable spending patterns by PL's
2. Generalized comments about the PL believing dancers to effectively be low grade whores selling their bodies in just a bit more limited way
3. PLs who either use or a considering using whores or getting into regular affairs
4. Spending money on other dancers in other clubs
5. spending money on other dancers in the same club
6. PL admiring comments about other dancers e.g "Vicky has a nice ass, don't you think?"

Most dances are drama junkies, so they thrive on this stuff

David9999, you bring excellent points that can be summarized as reduction in emotional investment in one particular dancer. Even when you talk about money, to a dancer, it will seem that you like some other dancer more and, therefore, spend your money on that person. Also agreening that most dancers are drama junkies, all of your actions filtered through this simple "he likes me, he likes me not" thought process, you would have some degree of control over the dancer's mood. You will be able to make her angry or happy. A "make-up" lap session may even be of higher millage. However, I believe, that's where the limit of your control stops.

I dancer that has a bit more experience in "emotional dance" department, will include "off the script behavior" in her new script, and will simply ignore your points 1 through 6. And you know what? Seening that your methods do not bother her, you will probably be back. And she will greet you with her usual beautiful smile, no questions asked, no quilt trips, and before you know it, you are thinking "what a cool cat she is!" As soon as the thought crosses your mind and you are thinking about buying dances: "check-mate, budddy!" :)

Who's in control? It's the customer's choice, it's his (or her) money.

FONDL, with all due respect get REAL!!! :) That is like saying the drug addict is in control. Some customers fall in love and have lost control. They will spend money they don't have.



I really don't see the money as an issue of control AT ALL for the customer assuming he can afford the rate he is being charged.

I have to admire patrons that can truely commoditize ALL dancers, treating them as interchangeable fungible goods - all more of less basically the same. That certainly simplifies things for the patron. In my case random dance sessions with random dancers - does very little for me, actually its quite boring.

However when I come across the right dancer and SHE is also at least minimally responsive or ideally very responsive, - then I get a huge kick out of it, which makes up for all that wasted money on random dancers. For me this might be less than 5% of dancers I run into, and I then at that point make an effort to still try to commoditize within this class, by among other things always finding new dancers, because as everyone knows these girls are very skillful actresses, they generally can read men and know exactly what buttons to push - so one always has to aware of the true nature of the "relationship" However it you having fun, they're getting their money, what the hell.

The dancer will only be in complete control when she knows she has reached a type ATF status and she knows you believe she is not replaceable. Then when they realize this is not the case, that's when they start to flip out. However unless they "fire" you or backpedal whatever is happening in the private sessions - it won't matter much at all.

"Seening that your methods do not bother her, you will probably be back. And she will greet you with her usual beautiful smile, no questions asked, no quilt trips, and before you know it, you are thinking "what a cool cat she is!" As soon as the thought crosses your mind and you are thinking about buying dances: "check-mate, budddy!" :)"

Agree some of these girls have so much experience, they have seen the same patterns over and over, year after year, that they know how to handle the guys into the "emotional" dance. Not much bothers them.

However for example even when the particular girl is exceptionally beautiful (near the top of the heap in the entire city) and the competition is merely other dancers maybe, however when you can (and have) and can anytime actually have sex with someone as beautiful as her who happens to be of the same ethnicity (not latin in this case), at a far cheaper price - that means they have in fact substantively lost control of you the patron.

Some of these dancers are so screwed up, have so much baggage etc, I would be very worried about actually getting involved in any substantive way with any of them

David9999, brings a great point. Easy access may be a great deterant! We can use it to balance out emotionally, though, if we are into a dancer, we, sometimes, become blind of the fact that we are not the first nor the last. Customers are as much of the commodity as the dancers.

I don't see how this is any different from any other business. The customer is "in control" in that his money leaves his pocket only under voluntary conditions. (Otherwise would be illegal.) Some who are "addicted" are still behaving according to a simple parallel of cigarette purchases at a convenience store. As well, the dancer is "in control" in that she can choose not to perform her services, and forego any potential profit by making that choice. A few who are "forced" to perform their services because of abusive pimps, international human trafficking, and the like, aren't the norm that we're talking about, though they do exist and need to be considered for the problem situation they do represent.

I think a wise dancer recognizes that her main avenue to control of her own revenue stream, is through her business procedures and choices. Nobody who runs a drugstore or a carpet cleaning business can GUARANTEE that today's customers will return tomorrow, or that absent such a return, some new customers will arrive to provide similar revenue. Instead, they have to keep the good word out, not alienate current revenue sources, actively recruit new revenue sources, balance subtly between servicing returning customers and enticing new ones, etc.

There's little difference here between stripping "as a business" and most other pay-for-service business in a relatively open market.

It's not something I worry about. Being in total control doesn't sound like my idea of fun. Whichever party thinks they are in control is probably the least in control.

Me and my 9 inch cock are in control.

If the customer goes to RIL status, then certainly the dancer controls. The PL needs to wake up fast.

However for regular customers, the "relationship" is hardly similar to one with a drugstore or a carpet cleaning business. Dancers routinely fake being "in love" with customers and often send out vibes to PLs (falsely) suggesting their pussy might be soon availabe if the PL follows the script she has written -generally buying huge amounts of dances.

Strip clubs provide near instantaneous "relationships" for willing PLs - so the PL has to learn understand what is occurring

Are we talking "Pussy Control" by Prince or just pussy whipped? I was whipped until I got divorced. BTW Bones she was bi-sexual. Every other year I got laid. I am now the master of my life. I have financial freedom to do what ever I want and when ever I want. This extends to strip clubbing and strippers. I have about 20 dancers that I will buy lap dances from, at my favorite club. They give me high mileage 2 for $20 dances. They trust me because they know that I am not looking for an S/O. Just a little fun. And they appreciate my repeat business.

I refuse to pay more than 2 for $20. I don't have to. I usually tell a dancer new to me that all of my favorites will do 2 for $20 anytime. Then it's up to them. One who wanted $25 walked away and then came back awhile later and asked if $5 was really that important. I just said that I felt it would be unfair to my favorites to pay her more than I do them. She walked away again. I will continue to say NO to higher prices.

Do I piss dancers off? A few but it is usually not about money but rather them trying to feed me stripper shit. I got enough of that from my ex. Stripper shit in moderation is acceptable and is to be expected. Thats Ok as long as you are getting good dances and having fun. When it gets deceitful, it is time to stand your ground and say bull shit. Get the fuck out of my sight. Some times calling them out gets through to them and the ugly thing turns into a good thing. Of the 7 or 8 altercations I have had with dancers over the last 6 years, 3 have been resolved favorably and they are now back on my favorites list. I have one hold over from last month. She was never a favorite. She had attitude problems. While I was sitting with a top favorite, she came over and gave me the whole pink site condensed into 5 minutes. She enraged my favorite to the point of violence. I talked her out of it. It will be interesting to see how it plays at the meet up next Friday. I have been threatened with physical violence, if her name ever appears on the internet again. "I have a family to support". Ok evil Avery. What is your husband doing?

I am glad that 6'7" TimboATL will be there to protect me as well as my 100 lb spinner friend. Bring it on bitch.

I am in control....

Bi-sexual is she housemom? Hmmmm... got any recent pics of the X????
I understand the every other year thing! LOL

Unlike 'BobbyI', my upper head is in control at first..... while my lower head (all 3 inches) resumes control until I leave the club!!!

"she came over and gave me the whole pink site condensed into 5 minutes."

That is too funny, must have been a nightmare

Jablake, if the customer loses control it's because he has chosen to do so. Addicts aren't an exception, they choose their addictive behavior. That's true whether you're talking about being addicted to some stripper or to drugs. You always have a choice - that's what life is all about.

Hi FONDL,

I disagree. :) That is sort of like saying the rape victim has a choice. Get carved up or spread 'em. Technically that is a choice, but not much of one. It is like when the government offers you a plea deal of 3 years of probation versus life in prison. Some people are dumb enough to believe in the government so they choose life in prison. Again, I wouldn't consider it a choice. If you do wonderful, but I hope you don't get handed that choice.

Also, unless you can actually feel what an addict feels I wouldn't presume to say it is a choice. Please don't give me any BS about battling addiction. Every drug that I've tried is like alcohol---ZERO addiction. It is just another government fraud. Most people can drink alcohol all day and when all is said and done it isn't addictive. Now some people take one freakin swig and all they can think and dream about is the next swig. It is pathetic. Crying and screaming out in pain merely because they can't have a swig of vodka. Let's say you can get them off it for a short time. Despite the hell of withdrawal the need for that substance is overwhelming and they start drinking again! I can't understand what they're feeling because I can drink morning, noon, and night non-stop when I was young. Stop? No problem, not even a little. I mean zero. Nothing. To some nitwit addicts that would prove I'm addicted and it is reasonable because they are basing it on their personal experience. I go through more pain not having french fries for a week. Yet I hear all this babbling about alcohol and other drugs being addictive. To WHO??? 1% of the population? 10% of the population?

Oh, I'm thinking of that young guy in northern Florida some years back. The government was trying to pin some crimes on him till they found the real perps. His story is of interest because it should help better clarify the nature of choice.

He suffered a serious brain injury due to a car accident. Before the accident he was considered Mr. Lovable. From what I read it sounded like he was friends with the world and had nothing but sunshine in his life. After the accident, he was given to extremely violent outbreaks. A true menace, which is one reason the government was trying blame him for the crimes he didn't commit. So he goes from Mr. Lovable before the brain injury to Mr. Terrorist immediately after the brain injury. Some people would still be yapping about all his choices despite his brain injury. Yes, it makes so much sense that he would suddenly choose to become a nut case. The brain injury just a mere coincidence we can ignore. Just as we can other people's biological differences. Remember the all created equal bs? Believe that garbage if you want, but I definitely don't share your values or views.

I don't know if what I was taught about the Yanomami is correct either the written or film versions, however it showed a custom where the women are disfigured after marriage. It is gruesome. I guess this is more choice served on a platter. The woman assuming she was capable of overcoming her cultural brainwashing may decide she would rather not get carved up after marriage. Could she avoid marriage? I guess if she wanted to traipse thru the jungle that might be an option. Or, she could kill herself. Another wonderful choice.

Gee, I wonder why I'm not sold on this choice ideaology. I guess it is sorta like a robber puts a gun to your head and says your money or I blow your brains out. To some people that is a real choice.

Given cultural brainwashing I was talking with a neighbor about choice and he explained homosexuals are evil because it is a choice. How did he know it was a choice? His preacher of course. The all knowing poo ba of his culture. So I asked him for gay sex. He was shocked and said that is disgusting. He says I'm choosing to say NO. I say fine. That was such a difficult choice for you thank god the all knowing poo ba said this was a choice for you. I asked him if he liked liver. He scrunched his face and said it is disgusting. I told him NO that is just a choice you have made. It is actually mouthwatering and you just need to make a different choice. He says NO, he hates the taste of liver and can't keep it in his mouth. I say but if your religious leader gave you permission to have gay sex then of course you could choose to love it, right? He says NO, men are disgusting. But, if it is just a choice that means you can say yes. Suddenly, the little light bulb goes on. For some people gay sex may be a choice and for other people it is more like liver----a definite turnoff. And, for still others gay sex is just who they are. It isn't a real choice in any meaningful sense of the word. Sometimes I ask the gay question and the man or woman will say yes they would love gay sex, but they learned it was evil. :) I guess that proves somehow that gay sex is a choice for everyone just like heterosexual sex is a choice for everyone. Everyone created equal and has the same drives and mental abilities and needs. :)

If one person is deathly allergic to peanuts, then by god we all have to be deathly allergic to peanuts. Or, if I can eat and love peanuts then we can all eat and love peanuts. Also, there is NO such thing as a food or drug addiction--it is a complete fantasy that doesn't exist for anyone, those who are addicted just choose it. Like the person that chooses to dislike liver. Not convinced? I have absolute proof. I'm not addicted to any drugs. I've tried supposedly addicting drugs that buddies will choose to pretty much do anything to get their hands on. It is a dumb choice by them. I just thought the drugs were expensive and boring. No pain or suffering or waste of money. Those stupid addicts, all they need to do is choose not to like drugs just like they can choose to like or dislike liver. It is so simple simon! :)

Jablake, believe what you want. Some people choose to take responsibility for their lives, some would rather blame others for their problems. Obviously there are exceptions, such as the rape victim who had no choice, but most of us don't fall into that category, most of us do have choices. Most addicts chose their addiction.

Hi FONDL,

I don't know if most addicts chose their addiction. Could be true. Why can't I choose to be part of the gang? You probably won't believe it, but I really tried to fall in love with alcohol and become addicted. I drank and I drank and I kept on drinking. I drank for years and I started way before 18. I failed to achieve addiction. The alcohol just wasn't something I needed. I need females. That is an extreme need. I need food. Another extreme need. Alcohol? Give me a freaking candy bar instead. :)

You probably think it is brain dead to try and get addicted and you are probably right. I needed to understand what my family members (one side only) were feeling. I mean it was beyond extreme. They would drink till they passed out and start drinking some more. But, they actually loved alcohol. I watch. I listen. I try and understand. I try vodka. I try whiskey. I try wine. I try beer. I try it in huge amounts. I really needed to understand why they were so in love with something that has no real value. It is a freaking zero. Nothing. And, they act as if it was best thing on the planet. Why??? (I think it something in their brain chemistry.)

In your mind it is just their choice. :) Sure thing, but somehow I want to feel what they are feeling and needing. I can drink *almost* as much as they can which is a hell of a lot. And, when I was young I didn't even know the pain of hangover. It gave me some giggles, but really it wasn't worth the bother. My tummy would get filled just like it would if I kept drinking water. It was a freaking joke! And, the taste was nothing special!

David: I just sat there and took it. No point in debating a cause that I could never win. When she was done I just said "OK, I got the picture". Then she came back in street clothes as she was leaving the club to give me another 2 cents worth. I passed up the debate again. She bit the hand that feeds her and her kids and her husband.