So who has actually provided “mentorship?”

nicespice
So I saw this video
https://m.facebook.com/WeAreSTV/videos/5…

It’s not the first time I’ve heard “mentorship” thrown around. My initial thought is to just dismiss it all as just yet another way for both parties to feel better about their cheap sex work by giving it an illusion of class.

But hey, I try to keep an open mind and thought it might be an interesting question to ask the Seeking Arrangement crowd around here:

1. Has anybody on here provided life or career advice in any way?

And by that, I mean something ACTIONABLE and you actually considered HER personal needs and knew it could help if steps were followed. I don’t mean just lazy lecturing about not buying avocado toast or whatever stunt McDonald’s/Visa did back in 2013 where they embarrassed themselves.
https://www.theatlantic.com/business/arc…

2. Has anybody put themselves out there as a letter of recommendation?

For example: somebody wants to apply for a scholarship, apply into some type of post-bachelors program (med school or whatever), or even be a reference when applying for a job.

3. Did you ever introduce somebody to somebody that could improve her in anyway?

Business contacts in a related career field may be one thing, but I’ll go ahead and make this broader. Bonus if you actually paid for any self-improvement services for her: Pay for any foreign language tutors? Any therapists for mental wellness? Any personal trainers or nutrition counselors or culinary instructors? Seminar of xyz topic? Etc

——
I’m sure it can happen.

Even as a mere “sex worker” who has never used that site, I remember one individual once sitting down and having a serious conversation about vanilla career goals and encouraging sending a resume to be critiqued (which I did) and no it wasn’t just some creepy attempt to get personal information. A nice thoughtful thing even if I didn’t get around to doing much vanilla work after finishing school 😝

Also, random tidbits of interesting conversation with people over the years when they described their jobs and what it entails in passing.

Or random tidbit of stuff like advice for best camping gear products. Or recipes I’ve heard. Or restaurant/things to do recommendations when in an area.
——
This thread is mostly targeted at the Seeking crowd but if somebody gets along with strippers long enough that personal life stuff comes out and you feel you could answers any of these questions seriously, feel free to chime in.

29 comments

Latest

Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
I like when they try to act like not having sex for free is a moral high ground.



I've put plenty of girls up on game.
yahtzee74
3 years ago
I've helped with homework and some manual things.
georgmicrodong
3 years ago
Only one "seeking" girl, because I've only had one off of there that was what I would call "successful". She was trying to get her life together after high school, doing a hundred different part time jobs, and not really going anywhere.

One night I was at her place, and she asked if I wanted some dinner. Having just expended most of my daily calories, I agreed. She starts pulling ingredients, spices, and pans out, starts cooking, and before I know it (admittedly, some of it was pre-cooked, but by no means all), I have a plate of simply delicious beef stroganoff in front of me.

She'd learned how to cook from her (deceased) dad, a small time "chef" at some place in Chicago, growing up, and loved cooking. Really loved it.

Me: "So why not go to school for this?"

Her: "There's no way I can afford it."

So we started going over what it would take for her to go to Sullivan (one of the best food service schools in the country). Turns out, it was a lot more affordable than she'd thought. So she started at Sullivan, using my "contributions" to supplement her living expenses while at school. She's now working at some high class place in Houston and loving life. We still talk occasionally, and she's promised me a free meal if I ever make it there. :D

As for my ATF, I've helped her move, advised her when she was having problems with her husband, watched her kids while they went out, and a host of other things. I've lost count of the number of papers and homework I reviewed and proofread for her while she was attending school. Even bought her a laptop.

Another escort turned out to have an amazing talent for photographic composition, so I gave her one of my old cameras and bought her a couple of books. She's and her fiance are doing it professionally now. Making a good buck. She doesn't talk to me much now, because while her fiance apparently knows about her former life, he definitely would not be OK with her talking to someone like me. So I just follow her on facebook and occasionally comment on an especially good picture.
motorhead
3 years ago
I’ve browsed around Seeking Arrangements and Secret Benefits and was surprised how many a seeking “mentoring”.

I don’t want a protege. I wanna pay a hot woman $1000 to suck n fuck. Simple as that
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
In the organization I am working to build, everyone will be getting mentoring and much more.

SJG
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
^^^ Unless your mentoring includes teaching women to get unchained from basement plumbing, it won't be that useful.
Warrior15
3 years ago
Maybe I'm an odd person on this subject. But I actually enjoy this part of a sugar babe relationship. One girl I dated, I advised her on her website, on her Instagram posts, her photo sessions contracts and her endorsement deals. On my next girl, I advised her on her schooling and setting up her online clothing business. I think a lot of the girls on Seeking didn't get much guidance from their real Daddy so they are looking for someone to guide them thru life. I helped one girl set up her health insurance.

Maybe I'll set up a Sugar Baby Consulting business . :-)
sinclair
3 years ago
All but one young woman I met from a sugar baby website came from a messed up family/home situation. The vast majority did not have a father figure present in their lives, so this was part of their attraction to an older alpha male (at least the ones that are not full-fledged hookers). A big thing with young folks over the last year is getting into investing. I helped one set up a brokerage account so she could trade stocks. One had car issues, so I taught her some basic automotive repair and maintenance. Several wanted advice on education and career paths and were rather naive on things outside of their immediate world. It was like I was giving them the advice their absent/abusive parents should have given them. For the record, probably every young lady I met was 19-24. Again, their primary motivation for sugaring was money, but a tertiary benefit was learning things from someone more experienced and successful in life.
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
My org will provide education, career building, and for those who want it we will make them into entrepreneurs.

SJG
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
The woman in that video seemed to be teaching a lot of mental gymnastics to help her students deal with their collecting "gifts" or an "allowance" in exchange for a relationship that (as far as I know) always ultimately requires sex. Even the host noted that she "could sell potatoes to the Irish."

It seems like the Sugar world is using the term "mentor" in a similar way. I can't see it being the same sort of mentorship that you find in business or the trades. So, I think it's just up-cycling the word "advice" to make it sound more like something you could post on LinkedIn, but leaving out the part about the blowjob.
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ I'm always willing to mentor hot women in exchange for a blowjob
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
I like the idea of a Mistress better, or a "kept woman".

But my own organization will not actually be like this.

SJG
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
25 shouldn't be allowed in your organization. He doesn't even understand basic concepts like key and wallet dating or front room makeout sessions.
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
:)

SJG
mahatmakanejeeves
3 years ago
Yes, a number of times. Back when I was Ph.D. student, I spent a lot of time helping a dancer earn her MBA. A couple of years later she graduated, realized she made more money dancing and stuck with it.

I have recommended a dancer to a company that was hiring. That was 7 years ago. She is still with the company and has been promoted a couple of times. She's doing great.

And similar to Warrior, I spent a lot of time advising a dancer on her online businesses and helping her with some challenges.

I also mentored a dancer who started a yoga studio. I also invested in that business and was paid back with a decent return when she sold the business a few years later.

A lot of this is quite natural as it corresponds to my real job. So when girls are entrepreneurially minded, it comes up, and I help.
rickdugan
3 years ago
I wouldn't be opposed to it per se, but right now I have neither the time nor the spare emotional energy to get that involved in someone else's life challenges. I have enough people relying upon me already.

Some months back I had what could best be described as a semi-sugar thing going with a girl who was clearly seeking mentorship. I shared a few thoughts while we were just sitting around drinking anyway, but that's as involved as I was willing to get. She had a lot of issues, credit in the toilet, expenses that were unsustainable vs. her income, working crap vanilla jobs since she didn't want to dance anymore, less than ideal living setup for her and her kid, etc. I could have helped her in any number of ways with little additional cost to me, but that's a rabbit hole I just can't go down, so instead I moved on.
Huntsman
3 years ago
As a general rule, I don’t give advice unless asked or it comes up naturally in a conversation. My same thinking applies if I’m interacting with sex workers. I’ve given welcomed advice and helped a few times. And I’ve been given welcomed advice from them at times. Generally though, I avoid taking on that role unless I’m quite confident they really want to know what I think.
Muddy
3 years ago
Yeah I have had a few sugar babies that definitely want some life advice. Learning how to drive, shop for cars, money questions, career advice. Yea I’m a horrible person to ask but I got admit I take some pride in it and I’m happy to help people especially one that want to have sex with me
Subraman
3 years ago
Lord help me, I enjoy this with both my ATFs and SBs. I hesitate to call it "mentorship", which implies a lot more commitment than we're talking about. But almost universally, once we get close and she trusts me at least a little, she'll start asking me for advice. It doesn't have to be "guide me and my entire life journey" mentorship. But questions on purchases, jobs, school, finances, investment, "should I do X now or wait until Y", the types of questions and decisions I think many young people ask their parents about. But in this case they often either don't have great relationships with their parents, or if they do, don't totally trust their judgement. From what I read on sugar forums this is overwhelmingly common, and why not, if you have someone who is older and more successful than anyone else in your life, who enjoys helping you and who gives good advice, why not take advantage of it?
BBBC
3 years ago
"I wouldn't be opposed to it per se, but right now I have neither the time nor the spare emotional energy to get that involved in someone else's life challenges. I have enough people relying upon me already."

^ Aww, dont be so coy Ricky! Ricky is my life mentor. He teaches me the benefits of not taking shit anyone!
RandomMember
3 years ago
I'd estimate that 3/4 of my SBs have been the product of good parenting and have their life and career goals in order. Finding college girls like that is time-consuming and I realize how unusual that is on a stripper forum. They don't need mentoring; I want the excitement and stress-free experience of reliving my youth without drama.

Finally back after Covid and seeing another econ student at cu Boulder. Only 2x per month now which is more than enough.

Muddy
3 years ago
Just think of me as the Obi-Wan Kenobi of women
herbtcat
3 years ago
I have successfully mentored several of my past and current SB's. Topics covered many areas like career development, bill paying & budgeting, time management, conflict resolution and sexual harassment at work, all the way to help selecting a school and classes. And like some above have mentioned, I have helped some with family, especially parent (and current boyfriend) relationships.

I have also seen many SBs who have absolutely no interest in mentoring, even though they put it in their profiles. I'm totally cool with that, but those SB's tend to drift off sooner...

I've never been asked to author a recommendation letter, but I might for those I deem worthy and if I was comfortable it wouldn't compromise my professional standing.

Finally, I have introduced SOME SB's to a few network connections - again - as long as I felt the intro was legit and she could conduct herself professionally.

As to financing specific costs? Yes, as part of her allowance.

Every arrangement is different. Part of the magic of the Sugar Bowl is helping people who genuinely need/want it and who will appreciate Daddy's help in a very psychical manner, over and over again. :)

And over and over again....

Finally, the worst outcomes for me happened when an SB mistook my kindness for weakness. Those ended quickly.
Subraman
3 years ago
"Finding college girls like that is time-consuming and I realize how unusual that is on a stripper forum. They don't need mentoring; "

This has not been my experience at all. A smart, over-achieving, balanced college girl is going to open up far more opportunities for herself than someone who has bad-decisioned herself into a corner and has fewer options. My smartest SB was a pre-med college girl who was incredibly smart, super close with entire family. She picked my brain for all its worth: how do I set up a good LinkedIn, should I take this summer to study more for MCATs or get an internship instead, should I take some money and invest it or start paying off student loans, how does someone invest in stocks anyway? The questions were never-ending, and she wanted to dive down into my reasoning for everything. A smart young woman who has a lot of options, her family is poor and out of its depth, but she has access to a successful older person who has already achieved what she wants to, is going to take advantage of that. You don't have to call it "mentoring", but if she's not asking you for advice, she doesn't think it's a valuable use of her time. Seeking advice has nothing to do with whether she's a college girl or stripper, whether she's the product of good parenting or not.

This isn't just theory, every SB ends up leaning on me. And mentoring is far more of a thing on the sugar forum, than it is on strip club forums. If your SBs aren't asking you for advice, that's the unusual thing. Go start a poll on the sugar sub, "SDs, if you have an SB who had good parenting, do you still do any mentoring?" You'll get overwhelming Yeses.
Thor50
3 years ago
I got one girl an interview with my financial advisor, and mentored her through the process. It was a big Wall Street firm. She aced the interview but didn’t get the job because it turned out they had a policy about only hiring people with a bachelor’s degree - she told me she was going back to school to get it but that was a year and a half ago and I’ve not heard anything…
Optaylor
3 years ago
You f@@kers do realize that finding you brilliant is stripper 101.
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
That kind of shit isn't helping them. If you really want to mentor her then teach her the PL mindset and teach her strategies to maximize her profits.

nicespice
3 years ago
Everyone is entitled to their opinions (I certainly have mine, and I’ve given my opinions on the whole “sugar” thing before) BUT the intent is to have this thread more about what is—whether one’s own personal experience or what you believe to be most other people’s personal experiences—instead of what others should be doing or personally feeling.

These were imo mostly great answers on this thread, including from members I have personally trolled before (and probably won’t stop). Also, some answers were really unexpected and those were interesting stories. It’s the diverse amount of perspectives that keeps tuscl interesting. 😋
Uprightcitizen
3 years ago
I actually coached a SB I was seeing to finish her degree when she was ready to drop out with no other real options. Her mom was a freak and no help and her dad was MIA. Soo, I was encouraging her (and financing) her to finish out. We ended it b4 she finished but after the fact out of the blue she sent me an email of her completing her degree and getting a job in a firm. She was happy for the help and encouragement.

I would think that counts.
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