I guess maybe things just add up. I was sitting and talking to a dancer. She flat out told me she didn't think of me as a customer. She was talking about her personal life a bit. I didn't mind. In fact she was fun to be around. I found out she had a 4.0 GPA and is not that far away from graduating with 2 degrees. She's also has had a number of life troubling events she's had to go through with other family members or due to relatives in some cases. Here I thought, oh darn, I'm at the club too early. Stage dancing isn't even going to start for another 30 to 60 minutes.
One thing I remember from either talking to her or someone else, dancers really do not like it when people look down on them just because they dance.
I keep hearing from a number of dancers, maybe it's just one or two that many guys will either talk down to a dancer or make it seem like she's somehow inferior is the message I keep hearing. I keep hearing that really irritates the dancers. I believe it. I've met some guys who think they are mister big shot and seem to look down on everyone who doesn't have a higher position then they have. I usually have my own name for that type of person.
COMMUNICATION is the key. I think even total jerks at talking have a better chance (assuming your looking for that) than the guy who thinks that the dancers primary need is being felt up or receiving cash. And, yes there are exceptions . . .
No, not really. It just happens for me. I think what happens when it happens to me is simply treating her like an equal instead of inferior. I think they know it comes with the understanding you need to feel her up a bit, but they don't mind doing that with equals.
Generally I want any dancer to sit down and talk to me. Very very few get away with "wanna dance" as their conversational opener. If she's physically hot enough, I tend to be more open to her sitting down and talking. Then, as we talk, I either end up turned on and interested in her, or annoyed by her. Usually it's just a question of world-view and intelligence. I've become "close buddies" with two or three dancers at my regular club who actually have very different world-views from me, but because they're of higher than average intelligence (or at least can act like it as long as they're interacting with me) we seem to "hit it off" anyway.
That's the route to becoming someone I WANT to interact with, rather than someone I DON'T want to interact with.
But that skirts the question of this thread. In fact, it ignores it all together. Because whether or not I WANT to interact with her, has very little to do with HOW I want to interact with her -- as a sexy playmate who giggles and coos in my ear and strokes my willie and I spend a lot of time and money on her in the private lapper room; or as a genuine friend who knows my real concerns, shares hers with me, and THEN I hope she giggles and coos in my ear and strokes my willie whether or not I spend a lot of time and money on her in the private lapper room. Of course, with the latter category, I haven't ever gotten a girl to get involved with me outside the lapper room except in so far as there's cash involved on a strict pay-for-play basis, so it's all just theoretical.
You become friends with strippers the same way you do anyone else - you discover that you have common interests, you spend a lot of time together to the point where you become comfortable and trusting with each other, and you both fill needs that the other has.
In one case it was a combination of spending lots of time talking with her or actually more listening to her. And, the real thing that she said impressed her the most was that I didn't show any interest in other dancers except for just being nice even when she wasn't working. What was important to her seemed absurd to me, but she thought that was the greatest. Even stranger as I pointed out to her, I did have a girlfriend that she knew about. Turns out she thought the reason for my "cheating" was completely reasonable. She couldn't understand a woman not putting out for her boyfriend as often as he needed it.
The typical "PL just getting strung" with some dancer generated OTC crumbs - explanation just oversimplifies the reality. Its certainly the general rule in the vast majority of cases, but it doesn't tell the complete story
Did you ever feel slightly guilty that the dancer you're talking to is spending her time just sitting and talking to you but not making very much money during the 2 or 3 hours she spent talking to you? As a dancer leaves your table, I hear this comment a lot, "I need to go make some money". I don't feel guilty if the club isn't busy, however if the club is real busy and she needs the money, it seems like it is costing her money she could have been making to keep talking to me. She told me she only made $60 the previous night. I started thinking, I can see why if you talk this long to one guy.
FONDL summed it up pretty good. I guess to get there though, just be nice and she'll start getting a bit more friendly if she shares similiar ideas.
Aw shucks, guys, thanks. Think I have a chance for the Noble Piece Prize?
I always sit and talk to a girl for a long time if I like her and she's willing. That's my favorite part of clubbing, sitting and talking with a scantily-clad attractive girl. But I usually buy enough dances and/or tip her well enough that she doesn't lose money by spending time with me. And I usually go to clubs when they're the least busy, which is when girls are most willing to sit and talk.
FONDL... I like how you spelled Piece as the Prize! Way to go! Works well in strip clubs.
I believe the majority of us civil guys and gals enjoy talking with a girl (dancer) in a club, whether we end up getting dances from her or not. And, like FONDL, I know she's there for the money, so I will not STIFF her for the conversation. (that didn't come out just right, but I think ya'll know what I mean)
In my case I visited the club earlier than normal when it was pretty dead. In just a short amount of time, it seemed like the club got packed when it's usually not. I did buy 3 table side dances and bought her a drink so I wasn't exactly stiffing her. It might seem funny that when I first arrived, I asked someone when stage dancing would start. The girl at the door said she thought it might start in 30 minutes or so. The first one up, the dancer I was talking to. It would have been ok with me if it had been someone else or if the stage dancing started later.
Thanks Bones. But did you miss the "Noble" spelling? I think a noble piece would be a nice prize.
And Chandler I'm not sure that the sexual energy ever runs out of steam for me but it does change significantly once you begin to get to know each other well. And I love it when that happens because for me a fake feeling is being replaced by a real one.
FONDL, as I've said many times before when we've been through this, sitting and talking is a good way to learn things about a person, but not necessarily the only way to get to know them. The illusion of intimacy that strippers sell is no less fake than the illusion of sex. I've gotten to know several strippers well in a very real way, and it wasn't as a result of hanging out talking in the club becoming strip club friends.
17 comments
COMMUNICATION is the key. I think even total jerks at talking have a better chance (assuming your looking for that) than the guy who thinks that the dancers primary need is being felt up or receiving cash. And, yes there are exceptions . . .
That's the route to becoming someone I WANT to interact with, rather than someone I DON'T want to interact with.
But that skirts the question of this thread. In fact, it ignores it all together. Because whether or not I WANT to interact with her, has very little to do with HOW I want to interact with her -- as a sexy playmate who giggles and coos in my ear and strokes my willie and I spend a lot of time and money on her in the private lapper room; or as a genuine friend who knows my real concerns, shares hers with me, and THEN I hope she giggles and coos in my ear and strokes my willie whether or not I spend a lot of time and money on her in the private lapper room. Of course, with the latter category, I haven't ever gotten a girl to get involved with me outside the lapper room except in so far as there's cash involved on a strict pay-for-play basis, so it's all just theoretical.
FONDL summed it up pretty good. I guess to get there though, just be nice and she'll start getting a bit more friendly if she shares similiar ideas.
I always sit and talk to a girl for a long time if I like her and she's willing. That's my favorite part of clubbing, sitting and talking with a scantily-clad attractive girl. But I usually buy enough dances and/or tip her well enough that she doesn't lose money by spending time with me. And I usually go to clubs when they're the least busy, which is when girls are most willing to sit and talk.
I believe the majority of us civil guys and gals enjoy talking with a girl (dancer) in a club, whether we end up getting dances from her or not. And, like FONDL, I know she's there for the money, so I will not STIFF her for the conversation. (that didn't come out just right, but I think ya'll know what I mean)
And Chandler I'm not sure that the sexual energy ever runs out of steam for me but it does change significantly once you begin to get to know each other well. And I love it when that happens because for me a fake feeling is being replaced by a real one.