tuscl

If Heaven had strip clubs...

Avatar for gothamyte
gothamytefrom that Adam Westsiiiide of Gotham

what would it be like?

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

Heavenly of course

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Avatar for gSteph
gSteph

Out of this world.

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Avatar for gSteph
gSteph

Even the sweetest PAWG would be light on your lap.

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Avatar for gSteph
gSteph

Nipples would be your favorite flavors.

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Avatar for Electronman
Electronman

It would need a way to sequester the religious zealots and the man-hating feminists (there are other versions of feminism that are wonderful!) who think that sexual activities between consenting adults is the ultimate sin.

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Avatar for shailynn
shailynn

Extras are standard, all the dancers are hot, no bouncers and everything is free!!!

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Avatar for Michigan
Michigan

Every strippers stage name would be Angel ...

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Avatar for misterorange
misterorange

Most of us will never find out!

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

I wonder if the old adage about good girls going to Heaven and bad girls going everywhere else is true
I guess we’ll find out soon enough

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Avatar for loper
loper

Old joke: John dies and goes to see St. Peter. St. Peter says, because you've lived a godly life and loved your neighbors, you may enter into your reward. Zelda, Piper, and Lexi will attend to your every need. You will enjoy their sweet lap dances night and day.

St. Peter continues, Zelda, Piper, and Lexi, because you have lived ungodly lives and have failed to love your neighbors, you will enter into your punishment, giving John sweet lap dances night and day for all eternity.

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Avatar for misterorange
misterorange

^^
It's not Zelda, Piper and Lexi's fault their neighbors were too cheap to pay for it!

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Avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael

Wings = awkward.

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Avatar for gSteph
gSteph

Nipples would pulse slightly with their beating hearts.

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Avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg

The PLs would get full nude lapdances for $1 each while the dancers would do bikini dances for $1000 per song! Methinks something my have to give in my vision...😉

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Avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf

It would be the HiLiter as it was six or seven years ago. Lit man.

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Avatar for IfIGottaBeDamned
IfIGottaBeDamned

No loud mouth DJs.

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Avatar for whodey
whodey

Strip clubs in heaven would be terrible. Who wants to go to a club with absolutely no sinning allowed? Why have a strip club without at least lust?

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Avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234

I believe the words of St Paul might be appropriate. Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, cock has not felt…what God has ready for those who love Him?

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Avatar for Studme53
Studme53

Come on, we’re all going to hell, right ?

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Avatar for gothamyte
gothamyte

I'd be so disappointed if there was a cover charge. But I'd oddly understand lol

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Avatar for Studme53
Studme53

There’s a porn video with Breanna Benson and Jenni Lee as angels working some dude who just arrived in heaven. That’s pretty close to my ideal. Both of them are my type.

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Avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan

The strip clubs will be in heaven, but I'll be in hell. So will all the strippers. Works for me.

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Avatar for Studme53
Studme53

As Dale from King of the Hill says, “I hope they have cigarettes in hell.”

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Avatar for skibum609
skibum609

One ay while walking through Heaven Jesus sees Saint peter who is motioning him over with a sense of urgency. When Jesus gets there Saint Peter asks him to watch the pearly gates because he needs to use the bathroom. Jesus doesn't really want to so he balks and says I have no idea what to do. Saint Peter says its easy, just ask them their name, see if they are on the list, and if they are let them in and check off their name. If they aren't on the list send them away. Jesus who really doesn't want to help then says, hey what if they don't know their name? Saint Peter says: you're a smart guy, ask them some questions, figure it out, but I gotta go. He then takes off running.
Jesus sits down and at first everything goes ok. The first 5 people come in, give their name, they're on the list, so he checks them off and lets them in. An old man then shows up and when asked his name, replies that he is so old that he can no longer remember. Jesus, remembering what Saint Peter said decides he'll ask the old man about his life and figure it out. He tells the old man this and the old man responds that he knows very little about his life other than he had had a son. That he was a wonderful boy and because I love people so much I gave the people my son as a gift. he then says that when he thinks of his son he is reminded of wood, but that he doesn't know why.
Jesus, thinking of the man's good son and wood, then realizes who this old man who gave his son to all the people and leaps from his seat exclaiming: Father!!!! With tears in his eyes the old man responds: Pinocchio!!!!

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