tuscl

strip club joke

Sunday, September 30, 2007 4:08 PM
(probably not new to most, but saw this on [view link]) Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. ''Oh no,'' says Dave. ''He's on my bowling team.'' When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ''You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'' ''No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ''Hi, Davey,'' she says, ''Want your usual table dance?'' Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him. The cabby turns his head and says, ''Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!''

11 comments

  • RTY
    •
    17 years ago
    IMHO not funny, but amusing.
  • David9999
    •
    17 years ago
    needs a better punch line, something alot more nasty with a bit more kick e.g "Dave, as I've asked you week after week, can't you pick a better slut than this?"
  • arbeeguy
    •
    17 years ago
    All I can say is, it made me laugh out loud. So, thank you David9999. You are a Good Guy
  • ShotDisc
    •
    17 years ago
    pretty good one. thanks
  • casualguy
    •
    17 years ago
    an old one but still good.
  • David9999
    •
    17 years ago
    (slight improvement) Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. ''Oh no,'' says Dave. ''He's on my bowling team.'' When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ''You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'' ''No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ''Hi, Davey,'' she says, ''Want your usual table dance?'' Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she screams at him, slaps him in the face, and kicks him in the balls. The cabby turns his head with disgust and says, "Look buddy, as I tell you every week, pick a better bitch"
  • ThisOldManPlayed1
    •
    17 years ago
    Good joke, enjoyed it. Thanks.
  • minnow
    •
    17 years ago
    OK, here's mine, a slight variation from cathouse joke: A Union Rep attends 3 day convention. At the end of the convention, he has some time to kill, so he heads out to main drag with a bunch of stripclubs on it. Upon entering 1st club he says to doorman: "I'll need to ask you a few important questions before I patronize your club. First of all, how much of tip take do your dancers get to keep, what fees do dancers have to pay, and are your dancers unionized?" Doorman replies: "Dancers get to keep 50% of tips, they pay $100 house fee, and they're not unionized". Union Rep says; "I'm sorry, I only spend my money at union establishments, have a nice day." Union Rep heads over to the next 3 clubs, getting more or less the same answers, and bidding the doormen goodbye. He gets to last club on the strip, and repeats original query. To which doorman replies: "Our dancers keep all of their tips, they pay a $50 house fee, but they get paid health insurance, and yes they're unionized." Union Rep says; "You're just the club I'm looking for", happily pays cover charge, and enters. After a few stage sets, he spots a smoking young hottie(insert your own dreamgirl lookalike here), approaches her, and asks for a VIP room session. Hottie replies; "I'm very glad that you'd like to spend a VIP session on me, and would gladly oblige- but see that little old lady in the corner? She has seniority here, you'll have to ask her first."
  • chandler
    •
    17 years ago
    Both you guys: If your jokes were any older, you wouldn't need an egg timer, you'd need an egg calendar!!!!! Thank you. I'm here all week.
  • David9999
    •
    17 years ago
    A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?"!!! The bar immediately falls deathly quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things... 1. The bartender is a blonde woman. 2. The bouncer is a blonde woman. 3. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter. 4. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler, and 5. I¹m a 6 foot, 200 lb. blonde woman with a PhD., a black belt in karate and a very bad attitude! Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?" The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and says; "Naaaah . . . not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
  • minnow
    •
    17 years ago
    Nice jokes there David 9quad. How about posting some club reviews??
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