Best Club In America (layout/building-wise)

I'd also put Dream Girls in Lincoln Park, MI (Detroit suburb) in my list of top clubs, based on the excellent and roomy private dance facilities and a stage with a 30 foot pole.

E11even in Miami. Main stage is small and circular. Sits in the middle of a pit with seats all around the stage, then raised walkways around the seating area.. The back of the club is a very large bar that people stand around. That is the best place to meet the girls. I love to just stand at the bar. It's customary that all the girls come up and give you the stripper handshake. I spent a couple of hours doing that one night. The girls are selling $40 dances in the back. The dances are done in private booths. But I don't think any extras happen back there. Bounceres are walking around all the time. There are $1000 VIP rooms upstairs. I have heard they are nice but I ain't shelling out that cash.
The place is expensive but it is also impressive.

Ocean Club, in one of the suburbs outside of Chicago. It's an absolutely beautiful water themed club. There is circular center stage surrounded by a moat, small bridges to get to the stage area, panels in the wall with flowing water, elevated bars on each side of the club. Everything is very well done. Both times I was there, though, the club was dead, with only about a half dozen average looking dancers and the same number of customers.

The Lodge in Dallas is so unique. I have not been is a few years, but I don't think it has changed much. It is broken up into several rooms and modeled after a hunting lodge. You can sit in upholstered chairs like in someone's living room. Think the explorer's club in the old Tarzan movies.

The best VIP rooms I have seen for extras are at Tattletale's in Atlanta. Many of them have interior household doors that close. There are even a couple in a hallway behind the DJ booth that not many people even know are there.

I normally stick to dives or midtier clubs so I don’t have as much experience w/ fancy clubs – IME I’d say I like the layout of Tootsies Miami – the building is an old BJs Wholesale Club (equivalent of a Costco) – it has a huge parking-lot including some indoor parking – seems only about half-the-building is actually club-space (the other half is offices and the indoor parking and it’s out of view) – so they could expand ~2x if they wanted to but it’s pretty-big the way it is – the club has a separate sportsbar that has a capacity for 400 just for the sportsbar if I recall correctly with 6 to 8 pool-tables and basketball hoops like the ones found in an arcade, it’s own bar and restrooms, 6 huge projection TVs playing sports plus multiple wall-mounted TVs, in the sportsbar – Tootsies has a 2nd-floor VIP seating balcony area that is more cozy and has larger/nicer VIP dance-rooms on the 2nd-floor plus smaller cheaper VIP rooms on the first-floor (2nd-floor also has large private skyboxes for groups or those that require/want extra-privacy and have the deep-pockets for it) – Tootsies has a large semi-circle main-stage with probably 30 or more seats rail-side – the main stage has one or two dancers at the same time plus on busy-nights up to 6 dancers rail-side (there is a small catwalk b/w the stage and the rail where each dancer that gets off stage has to go do the catwalk for a couple of songs) – the catwalk is full-nude and up-close-and-personal and one can get an up-close view of the multiple dancers doing the catwalk and a cop a bit of a feel for a couple of bucks - each dancer in the catwalk area starts on one side of the semi-circle and ends at the other so every rail-side custy has a chance to interact w/ each dancer in the catwalk area.

The now closed King of Diamonds Miami that was a few blocks down the street from Tootsies – like Tootsies this club also seemed like a large industrial/commercial building turned into a strip-club and also had a partial 2nd-floor w/ VIP-seating and the club’s offices – it was a very large and comfortable space w/ a fairly-large parking-lot – the location now is either a car-dealership or is being used to store cars, not sure but that is what one sees driving by on the freeway.

These are probably the two biggest clubs I’ve been in that were comfortable b/c of their space – a few years back when Tootsies was more to my liking I’d hang out there on a Saturday or Sunday and make a day of it hanging out in the sportsbar having drinks and watching games of interest (NFL, NBA, Final-Four; etc); having lunch/dinner (club has its own kitchen w/ decent food including steaks); and getting dances on and off as I’d spend the day/night there watching a game or two and hanging out in the main-room.

The Lodge, totally forgot about that one. That place is awesome but it’s been a really long time since I’ve been there.

Ditto Dr Evil on Ocean Club. That is an incredible looking club. Another Chicago area club Atlantis is like a Greek palace unbelievable the money they must’ve dumped into to these two places.

The nicest strip club that I have ever been in was the Pink Pony South in Forest Park (Atlanta). 29,000 sq ft on 2 floors. An elevator. A sushi bar over the main stage. But it was expensive and low mileage.

Another really cool looking club is Coliseum in Detroit, although the name doesn't really match the club. The Coliseum is in Rome, but the club decor has an ancient Egypt theme. When I went several years ago, it was also fantastic for quality of girls and, er . . . the service available.

I concur with The Lodge in Dallas Tx. Gorgeous club. Never needed to go to VIP there are large comfy semi-private couches you can get dances at without VIP prices. Very chill, gorgeous dancers, great atmosphere. I only wish management would install a pole on the main dance floor. My go to club in Dallas, see my previous reviews.

I definitely agree on Tootsies It's like a carnival for strip clubs. Great set up, really major league feel to it. And one more used to be called Penthouse now called Vanity After Dark in San Francisco. They remolded and it really looked sharp as hell. Unnecessary but still cool elevator in the club.

I second Pink Pony South. It was like a disco nightclub with several levels. But it NEVER had any business. It also had an adjacent no-tel motel on the same property but they never got that symbiotic relationship going.

The Cheetah in Atlanta. Bright lights, 50 girls line up, all nude at once.

Treasures in Las Vegas was built to be a strip club at a cost of 20 million about 20 years ago. Very high end but I always think it feels cold and impersonal.

Hustlers in Vegas was also purpose built for around the same dollars and it has a pool on the fourth floor rooftop lounge. Also very high end.

Dream Girls Lincoln Park. Have you seen it? Been to the champagne rooms? They're really nice, different themes, and some are huge with stripper poles and bathrooms. It is a very nice club. Unfortunately it's not very busy these days. I used to work there back when it was Hustler. Good times.

I remember back when this site had a rating system specifically for how the club looked and that club was at the top of the list for a while.

^ I’ve been to both of those several times. At one time Treasures was my go to club when I’d be in Vegas. For some reason their lap dances were extremely high mileage for Vegas standards and I remember them not charging an insane cover, but they made up for that with their drink prices. I remember the last time I was at Hustler it was 4 in the morning and I was drunk, my two buddies and I were talking to these guys (who obviously didn’t know any better) sitting next to us and one of the was negotiating getting a BJ for $1k from a stripper. He was excited, I couldn’t believe it. This wasn’t some whale, this was an average guy who was about to get ripped off, but no point in stopping something that’s already in motion.

As I look back through my clubbing experiences I keep coming up with nothing memorable. Lol! I’ve rarely been to clubs with those fancy upholstered seats - the ones that look like a purple felt material.

The clubs I enjoy are small, with a plywood stage, a pole or two, wooden stools, a bar, and no stage shows (unless you count the girls who squat in front of you - and their pussy lips hang out of their thong). Luckily the floors in the lap dance area are usually very safe and sticky - so nobody slips and falls...

The higher end GC's tend to run together, especially when they change brands with essentially the same bones and decor. When I went to Sapphires in Vegas I didn't hate it, and it's definitely big. You can tell there was money put into the place and it has a decent vibe. But I thought it looked like a converted department store and the layout didn't really speak to me. That said it's been years since I really clubbed out there regularly, back when OG was open. I was impressed with Treasures in Vegas, and also the club that used to be Rick's. Don't know that I'd call them the coolest, but they're high on my list.

I liked Hustler Club in Shreveport, but the same thing. And Hustler Club in New Orleans, but thought the one in Shreveport had a better layout. The Mens Clubs around the US also tend to have a nice vibe and layout to them, and Penthouse Club in Detroit was really well done. The Furnace in Birmingham was shockingly cool given the awful reputation for clubs the town has. But "coolest" is something else. Need to think on this a little more.

I realize there's the shock-and-awe factor of a huge club, but not sure that's enough to be coolest club.

One of the clubs here, Penthouse (a club I generally dislike) has a pretty good layout. Two floors, typical club on the bottom floor, a bit more open on the top floor. The awesome thing? The floor beneath the pole on the top floor is glass, so if you're sitting on the bottom floor, you've got a permanent up-skirt view to the girls dancing on the top floor. It is a pretty dang cool concept

I’ve been to the big Vegas clubs, sapphire, hustler, OG, CH Too and CH3. I’ve also been to the Lodge and BDD, PHC Detroit, some of the Ricks clubs, Treasures in Houston and the old Solid Gold in Ft. Lauderdale. To me, there is one striking club that stood out - St. James Houston. Just a huge place that still feels like it’s got the bones of a southern church where you’re about to engage in debauchery. The contradiction is fantastic. Plus, it’s got a pool and helipad because Texas. It’s also clean and well maintained. No other club has impressed me like that.

I was thinking about St. James, but didn't remember it well enough to mention it. I spent most of my time there getting dances lol. Was thinking about making another run through Houston this year so maybe I'll go refresh the memory.

One more that stands out for me, in the dive bar category: the old Shark Lounge in Daytona Beach (RIP). It was a shithole at the corner of Speedway Blvd and A1A. The main stage had an aquarium underneath it with shark in it, and the satellite stage was a shark cage.

I concur with most of your selections. I remember when I first walked into KOD Miami, it was like a James Bond movie. Cheetah is nice, probably the best food I ever tasted in a strip club . The blackened lobster tail is unreal and so are the chicken fingers. But I got sidetracked, back to building layout design. Tootsies is so big l, I really enjoy that layout. Scarlett’s is nice layout too in Hallandale. Vanity Grand in Philly is nice as well.

But if I had to select a winner of all time, it would be the now closed KOD
Miami. Poles up to 20 foot ceilings. Shit was crazy.

E11even in Miami. Nothing beats it. Yes, it's incredibly expensive but everyone should go there at least once. It's such a cool experience and you'll feel like a goddamn baller. Some places like the Lodge or larger Spearmint Rhinos are okay but nothing beats E11even.

So I have an answer for planet Earth, and it's Teatro in Switzerland. The first line in my TUSCL review was "This is one of the coolest clubs in the entire fucking world." The rest of it's over at
https://tuscl.net/review.php?id=307122.

As I think about an answer, hindsight is playing a role because I'm trying to separate my experience from the objective pros and cons of the club. Twentysomething wallanon was looking at things differently than the same guy decades later. The answers I've seen here mostly sound like great options, but to me the coolest club is a place I'd hang out in even without smoking hot chicks minus their clothes. That's a very short all time list, and in 2021 it's a list of zero clubs. Throwing that factor out, then I think of places like Casa Diablo in Portland, OR. A place with personality. As much as I like the style of a place like Palazio in Austin, TX, it's still cookie-cutter and I've seen a hundred other places trying to put on that big time GC character.

Casa Diablo's not my pick, at least not yet, and I'm also thinking of places from when I first really got into the SC scene in the 2000's that were in decline but still had some of the old mojo left. Like MBOT in San Francisco. It was going mostly on reputation even then, but my first visit was still pretty mind blowing because it was room after room of temptation with top flight talent. Or Spearmint Rhino Vegas, that to me had a cool factor the other major clubs in town didn't. As I'm typing this, BELAX in LA is also coming to mind as still being in the conversation. Also 4Play, but I prefer BELAX. But then there's that GC template, and does 4Play really break the mold? Actually, it's been a while since I thought about LA and there's some standout clubs there. Maybe my answer is somewhere in Southern California. But whatever, if I can get to a list of ten clubs then I'll just pick one of those.

I'll add that if I'm just going off looks and layout alone, it'd probably be one of the Vegas purpose-built clubs or something set up for touristy spectacle. They're paying a huge investment in curb appeal to get foot traffic, and money talks. Haven't been to Miami (thanks pandemic) but I'm guessing clubs there have the same basic motivations driving the SC scene. Dallas is also on my list so I'll have to check out the Lodge, but it sounds similar to a club I saw in Houston. If I'm talking cool factor, club vibe is just part of the answer for me so that's where my list is coming from.

^ Tootsies is huge with something for everyone but my own experience is I have a better time in smaller venue such as Solid Gold, Goldfingers, Cheetahs, I do prefer upscale to dives but I’ve had a good time at dives too, but that’s just me.

One of the most unusual layouts in the world was the now gone Bottoms Up club in "The Man with the Golden Gun". It was just like in the movie. The girl would be in the center of the seating which was an octagon shape about 18 feet across. Maybe 8-10 guys max could sit around the bar -top. the girl was on a raised platform and actually was also your bartender. There was a tiny bar build under the bar top, sink, icemaker and everything.

The time I went the vibe was completely dead with 5-6 western PL's and one Irish topless bartender. She did ask if any of us were staying at nearby hotels since she got off soon. Some guy took her up on it.

8 feet across, not 18 feet. Need that Edit button!

Tootsies and Bucks Wild Dallas have great layouts IMO. I'd give the edge to Tootsies since you can go over to a sports bar section freely

Always felt really comfortable at Kahoots in Columbus (RIP), probably because it was my first.

I would say Kandy's in Waterford, PA outside of Erie. While the club has a very redneck chic vibe to it, the layout is surprisingly very well executed. Starting with the nice spacious center stage which can hold 3 or four dancers, but I have only ever seen one. The lap main lap dance area is semi private, and much more private than VIP areas in many other clubs. However the best part is the more private room, which not counting the two cop car themed "private" dance areas, the private dance rooms both large and small are all quite roomy, and very private. I also like the fact that they have very good sound proofing, so you don't hear any of the craziness in the club, as well as have a completely separate music feed, which means you don't have any of the stupid DJ commentary distracting you during the 20 minute dances I tend to get.

The rest of the club goes all out on corniness, with the volleyball court complete with a 1950's cop car that looks like it crashed over the fence. A "hot seat" which is a replica Texas Electric Chair.

When I lived and SCed in Dallas back in the 2000s, I used to really like hitting a club called Fantasy Ranch in Arlington (about 30-minutes west of Dallas) – the club had a bit of a ranch-house type décor (outside and inside) but that’s not why I liked it – the club was good sized (not huge but fairly-big), but it was really-cozy and didn’t have a big industrial/commercial feel – I tend to like open-layouts vs clubs with various sections so I can get a good feel for everything going on – Fantasy Ranch didn’t have a completely open layout; it had about 3 kinda separate sections but it still felt kinda open the way it was designed/set-up– it was the kinda club I always felt comfortable spending multiple hours in and always looked forward to hitting although it was a bit of a drive for me (I rarely had a bad time at that club in the ~10 years I hit it in the 2000s) – the club was not plush but above midtier (kinda entry-level upscale for lack of a better word), and it had very good dancer variety from whitegirls to AAs and some Latinas that spoke English (no Cubans at that time in the Dallas area – I’d say the club was about 65% white, 25% AA, and maybe 10% Latina) - other than Tootsies Miami the old Fantasy Ranch in Arlington, TX was probably my fave club in terms of spending time in.

Unfortunately this club along with 8 or 9 others in Arlington were forced to close circa 2009 as the new Dallas Cowboys stadium was being built - I guess Jerry Jones didn't want anything tarnishing his new billion-dollar baby (only one club in Arlington survived out of ~10 or so and I think that one survived due to some technicality but it wasn't a very good club and it also operated kinda restricted post the stadium-opening). I didn't join TUSCL till 2012 but even then I've never been able to find that club on TUSCL (even as a closed-listing) although it was a very popular club back in the 2000s