Casual sex
gawker
Older than dirt
Wednesday, March 31, 2021 2:20 AM
I’m 75 years old so there’s really no such thing as casual sex. However, I’ve not been able to go to a strip club in a year, have finally broken the tie that bound me to my ATF, and have only ventured beyond the grocery store for dire emergencies. But I’ve now been fully immunized for a month and started feeling as if I might enjoy some female company.
I carefully reviewed each web site claiming to have beautiful young women eager to jump on the bones of an old man, and took the time for some critical reading. My first observation: a lot of these “escorts” had put on the proverbial “pandemic 20” lbs. (or more). Lots of big girls and that’s never been an attribute of my choosing. So I began a process of elimination. It wasn’t too long until I found the perfect candidate - 26 year old blond - 5’6” tall, 120 lbs., a photo of a very attractive woman wearing a thong and nothing else. She had placed her right arm strategically across her chest, implying a level of modesty missing from many others.
So after narrowing my list with her at the top I called the number printed in the ad. She answered and I first asked if I’d reached the woman on the web site I’d chosen? Yes, it was her. Yes she was willing to come to my house. Yes she was available for the time I chose. “ I charge $200 an hour. How much time do you want?” I asked her to plan on 90 minutes with me - $300. That’s fine she said but “I do require 50% to be paid up front”. I ran through my list of reasons why I don’t like paying before the act and she, very logically described men who get cold feet, college boys who giggle, and police who ensnare. I agreed, sent her $150 via a popular money transfer. She called, confirmed that she received it and then said, “Now I need $100 for condoms, lube, and massage oil.” No I said. I have all of those things and if it’s your intention to rip me off, I’ll just end it now and write the $150 off to experience. “She pleaded, please; the service I work for insists..... Forget it I said and hung up. That was 5 days ago. Today I got a text message from her : “Still interested?” I wrote back and she’s agreed to play by my rules (as far as payment goes). Now we’ll see how the rest of it goes.
It’s been over a decade since I hired as escort. For almost 10 years I had a job where I traveled and I would usually check into a hotel, pull out the copy of that city’s yellow pages and turn to the section after engineering - escorts. I’m looking forward to seeing how today’s professionals stack up.
I carefully reviewed each web site claiming to have beautiful young women eager to jump on the bones of an old man, and took the time for some critical reading. My first observation: a lot of these “escorts” had put on the proverbial “pandemic 20” lbs. (or more). Lots of big girls and that’s never been an attribute of my choosing. So I began a process of elimination. It wasn’t too long until I found the perfect candidate - 26 year old blond - 5’6” tall, 120 lbs., a photo of a very attractive woman wearing a thong and nothing else. She had placed her right arm strategically across her chest, implying a level of modesty missing from many others.
So after narrowing my list with her at the top I called the number printed in the ad. She answered and I first asked if I’d reached the woman on the web site I’d chosen? Yes, it was her. Yes she was willing to come to my house. Yes she was available for the time I chose. “ I charge $200 an hour. How much time do you want?” I asked her to plan on 90 minutes with me - $300. That’s fine she said but “I do require 50% to be paid up front”. I ran through my list of reasons why I don’t like paying before the act and she, very logically described men who get cold feet, college boys who giggle, and police who ensnare. I agreed, sent her $150 via a popular money transfer. She called, confirmed that she received it and then said, “Now I need $100 for condoms, lube, and massage oil.” No I said. I have all of those things and if it’s your intention to rip me off, I’ll just end it now and write the $150 off to experience. “She pleaded, please; the service I work for insists..... Forget it I said and hung up. That was 5 days ago. Today I got a text message from her : “Still interested?” I wrote back and she’s agreed to play by my rules (as far as payment goes). Now we’ll see how the rest of it goes.
It’s been over a decade since I hired as escort. For almost 10 years I had a job where I traveled and I would usually check into a hotel, pull out the copy of that city’s yellow pages and turn to the section after engineering - escorts. I’m looking forward to seeing how today’s professionals stack up.
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28 comments
You know COVID sucks when The Godfather of TUSCL is having trouble finding love one hour at a time.
Gawker good to see you still have the itch. Similar to you I haven't seen an escort in close to 8 years and my escort escapades were basically limited to a burst of 1-1.5 years then I moved on from them although I still read the escort discussions on another forum.
Rule #1, never ever send them money in advance. Sounds like her escorting is limited to squeezing marks for whatever she can get then moving on to the next. Could be quite a lucrative business for her without actually having to meet anyone.
If she actually hooks up with you, great, but learn from your experience and don't repeat it.
@gawker, Hope it works out.
While reading about your process of eliminating candidates and then finding a perfect one, I thought that the selected escort would turn out to be your ATF. That would be a real O. Henry ending.
I doubt there are many folks from her past willing to help her anymore.
Enjoy the new hottie you’ve found.
It's about time your back in the saddle though Gawker, we need you out here.
I’ve got no place to offer advice, your 75 years of living and experience likely far outweighs my experience with this subject.
If I may- the games changed since you’ve last engaged in this endeavor.
A few tips, if you don’t mind:
1. Websites are the way, sounds like you’ve already got that dialed in.
2. Never EVER discus the price over the phone. This is to protect you from law enforcement. Always say let’s talk about that when you get here or, IF IT MUST BE TALKED ABOUT- call it a donation for her time. Say something like- “is the donation for your time still the price listed on (insert website here)?”
If she presses you for details of the interaction walk. If she explicitly talks about what you will be doing walk. If she says anything other than yes walk.
3. You already know about never paying up front.
4. There’s plenty of websites with verified reviews on workers in this industry. You’ll want to pick someone with a lot of reviews. Some websites even have a space with negative reviews for your partner of choice. If there’s even a single negative review walk.
5. You’ve always got amazing stories Gawk, looking forward to seeing more.
Good luck on some less drama fun.
She’s peripherally involved with some type of fraud and she tempted me with being a party to her attempts to get money not earned. I think with all of the Stimulus money out there, anyone with fraudulent intention is either collecting unemployment or developing a shell company to get Payroll Protection money or 20 schemes I never would think of.
Payment “for her time” is being paid in Bitcoin. Last time I checked a Bitcoin was over $50k. My new friend says she’s convinced it’s on its way to $100k. Given the accuracy of hindsight, it would have been a great investment 10 years ago. She showed me an online company acting as a brokerage house for more than 50 virtual currencies.
She’s very clear that escorting is disgusting and she’s attempting to establish another source of income. So I was surprised ( and very pleased) that she saw fit to contact me again.
I used to take pause when my age was double my partner’s. Now I’m looking at triple.
A smart man would cut bait now.
Sounds like you found someone that makes the former ATF heroin addict seem like a catch. This has Gawker as a victim written all over it. I would personally would cease all contact at this point. But, as always, you make an entertaining read.
If things take a turn for the worse in her other businesses - it’s best she doesn’t have your bank account or credit card information. She knows where you live - and she likely has assumed you own your place - so she knows you have at least your home as collateral.
Hopefully she won’t have a need for a large amount of cash anytime soon.