If women paid men for private dances

David9999
Consider reversing the roles.

If women paid men for dances, one has to create a mental picture of the kind of female customer that a (hypothetical) male dancer would have to have, to equate with the apparent level of dislike, hate, disrespect, and disgust that many female dancers seem to have for their typical male customers.

Now most men wouldn't need much money to "dance" for a random group of women, as most men are natural horndogs of various sorts, however to put it on par with the way women consider this job: this would be the customer:

Lets say 99% of your customers would be an overweight, egostical, not particularly bright, usually with bad breath, often foul smelling, plain to outright ugly female with sometimes with a mean and rotten personality included as a bonus, let say ages 35 and older AND to complete the mental picture riding the scooter at Walmart (no offense to truely disabled) - the ones that can walk or STEP out of their cars and get in their personal scooter or use the Walmart provided scooter after walking from their cars.

THIS is how (I believe) a good portion (probably most on the pink site) see their TYPICAL male customer, regardless of age, what he looks like, acts like, smells like, or how much money or charm he has.

As this hypothetical male dancer who dances for women ask yourself this then: lets say one of these customer happens to have lots of money and they like you so they select YOU, so you end up giving lots of dances over many months, which in many states means extended makeout sessions -possibly with light or heavy extras. You have to compliment them, laugh at their jokes, charm them, tell then every lie that you think you can get away with, do almost anything they say -then when they are not in the club, you got dozens of random female customers you must dance with to pay tip out/house fees and make some profits. Keep in mind, you never selected THEM, and to turn down clients for most dancers in practical terms would put their entire earnings stream at risk.

Your entire income is to a large degree based upon not only on your physical appearance and your charm and salesmanship, but on your ability to lie and deceive convincingly to customers as I've described above.

Now the above (role reversal) scenario while exaggerated to make the point, is I believe close to reality for many female dancers. Note the dancer in the pink site who says after dancing with 4000 guys, there were about 3 or 4 (or whatever) she was actually attracted to, the rest she couldn't stand or barely tolerated.

If you keep in mind this mental picture, I think one can then understand the way typical dancer chicks think of most male customers

21 comments

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Yoda
17 years ago
Is there a point to this?
Ironcat
17 years ago
Women aren't as visually oriented as men, so I don't think it would be the same. I also believe that the attitude of the dancer makes a difference. If a dancer has a preconceived notion that all of her clients are PLs then it doesn't matter what they look like, smell like, etc. When I go into a club and look around I don't see many guys who I would identify as "disgusting" - most are well dressed and look like they get it that personal hygiene is a must for good mileage. If the roles were reversed I would capitalize on my youth and good looks, while they lasted, and hustle older women for money. The dancer I know rake in some good money for five or ten minutes of "work".
lopaw
17 years ago
^^^ I disagree. Women can be just as visually oriented as men are...we are just socialized to either not show it or downplay it.If you guys only knew what women tell each other!
I'll bet not very many of you guys have had the horrific experience of attending a Chippendales show. Egad - those women act like sex starved idiots who have never seen a man before - and many of them fit that lovely description that David9999 outlined. A "reverse" scenario, with the oiled up, gay boy-toy & the old, overweight housewife would be a very real possibility. Disgusting....but very possible.

And that pink site is horrible...I stopped posting there ages ago, and don't even bothering reading it anymore. I even lost interest in the blue side, since some dancers felt the need to come over there and throw their $.02 into the mix. I think I'll stick with you guys over here.
David9999
17 years ago
Yoda, there is a point and that is to help customers understand in practical terms how most dancers look at their job. I am a bit surprised you ask such a question, because the post (which is obviously an extreme hypothetical) suggests an underlying and undisputable truth that is consistent with a theme I have continually observed in 100's of your posts on this site and others. Are you now changing your mind and suggesting dancers typically have a substantive "relationship" with their clients going beyond mere money or typically gain any physical satisfaction or enjoyment from their clients, and in most cases wouldn't rather be anywhere else on earth except doing that lap dance or CR session at that moment in time? Now in the cases of customers with developed long term AFT or semi-reg AFTs, Ok my hypothetical would not be terribly accurate, so for you and others with such arrangements, its not applicable, however those arrangements are an exception in the strip club business. However, I believe its an assumption the random customer has to make with the random dancer.
David9999
17 years ago
"If a dancer has a preconceived notion that all of her clients are PLs then it doesn't matter what they look like, smell like, etc."

Exactly, it doesn't matter as the act or business deal is itself so innately repulsive and is only being tolerated by most dancers because the benefits of the money exceed their personal disgust. Selling their bodies to be groped, fondled, licked, or kissed in a sexual manner for money even w/o outright sex is a very difficult undertaking for the majority of dancers.

Males obviously have far less difficulty in having such acts done to them by random women in exchange for money, which is precisely why to make a comparable case, my hypothetical had to present an extremely unattractive profile of the comparable female customers the man would be required to dance with.

This is of course consistent with innate gender differences and basic biological design where females as the arguable gate-keepers of sex tend to be relationship-centric and highly selective in choice of males, whereas males as sexual predators tend to be goal-centric and relatively unselective and volume oriented in regards to female mates
lopaw
17 years ago
Be careful with mass generalizations & stereotypes concerning gender. There are WAY too many exceptions to most biological & societal "rules" to indeed make them arguable at best.




chandler
17 years ago
Actually, the opposite is true. Women are more pragmatic about sex than men are. Obviously, in their genes as proven by science. Regardless, why worry about what strippers think of most customers? All that matters to me is that they act like they enjoy dancing for me. But if you have to worry about it, why base all your conclusions on a tiny segment who hang out at a website for griping to each other? That would be like evaluating the satisfaction of most Toyota owners by reading the mail the Complaints Dept. gets.
David9999
17 years ago
No doubt a good portion of female dancers are innate exhibitionists and some even enjoy getting groped and fondled by strangers all day and sliding their naked asses around the stage for 2 dollar perverts, and actually love grinding the cocks of men in private dances for lets say typically 600 to 1500 customers every year, however I don't believe it's the majority, and the high pay scale reflects that. Many of these dancers wouldn't qualify for a job at Walmart.

Lopaw - please note such words as "most" "have far less difficulty" "tend". Nothing I've said in the above paragraph on basic gender differences is anything even controversial. Of course there are exceptions and I've indicated that. If one knows a 4 ft man and a 6 ft woman, does that mean that most women are taller tham most men?
Yoda
17 years ago
D9999: My point is that nothing you said matters one iota. If it amuses you to write this crap thats fine but I don't buy into it. I go to a strip club to be entertained. Weather a dancer likes me or not is not important. What is important is how good a job she does of selling the fantasy. I have made friends with a few dancers over the years but, in those cases, it had nothing to do with her LD skills or her talent as an entertainer.
You need to separate personalities and human interaction from the JOB. As Chandler said, women are much more pragmatic about sex than men are and it is therefor much easier for them to compartmentalize. For some reason most guys can't seem to figure this out...
FONDL
17 years ago
I agree with Chandler about the complaints department. I think if most dancers felt that all their customers were total assholes they'd quit and go do something else. There just aren't that many people who are going to keep working at a job they absolutely hate. There are too many other options in our society.
David9999
17 years ago
Actually its not that dancers mecessarily believe their customers to be total assholes, it's that as customers we tend to underestimate the degree of repulsion most dancers have SIMPLY by doing intimate acts (sexual or not) with random strangers in exchange for money.

Now some customers could actually in fact be labeled repulsive as the term is generally defined by typical females. That is another issue.

My original post refers to a presumption that I believe is useful to utilize as a starting point with any dancer. Now that said, this presumption can be rebutted with certain times with certain dancers, and I've see various posts from others on this site referring to interaction with the dancer by the customer that suggests that could in fact be happening, and I too have noticed it with certain dancers.

One can argue this is all irrelevant anyways, its simply about how well they sell the fantasy. That may work for some customers but not work for others, and I believe its the later group (yes, some might be tagged game players or thrill seekers or whatever) - that could find it useful to understand the way most dancers think.
Ironcat
17 years ago
I agree with David9999 using the analogy (4 foot man vs. 6 foot woman)of basing a theory on personal experience as being flawed. I believe that men and women are hard-wired by evolution, based on the available science. I also agree that it is what it is - we pay a relatively high dollar amount for a service and women have the option of providing that service. The social scientist might argue that many women are "forced" to choose this profession, and that may be so. When I go to a club I prepare as if I was going on a date - shower, shave, clean clothes, etc. I treat the dancers with respect because I feel there is nothing wrong with making a living by dancing. If I detect that a dancer is merely tolerating me, I most likely will not get dances from her in the future. Either she has to be into it or a good actor - and quite frankly it doesn't really matter which.
David9999
17 years ago
Ironcat, basically I look at it the same way and mere toleration to me is a huge turnoff meaning I don't get turned-on by the lady no matter how much charm or beauty she might have. There has to be some (or perceived as such) element (e.g even a very small percent at least) of reciprocity or mutuality on the part of the dancer.

That's when it can be alot of fun when a customer senses that, however its got to be damn good acting for those us having higher than average ability to judge veracity.
AbbieNormal
17 years ago
Lets review. Dancers merely tolerate customers and find dancing for them borderline repulsive (as they find most of their customers to be PL's) . They need to continually lie to make a living and most couldn't hold a job at Walmart. David9999, why do I get the feeling that you are about to suggest the key to stripclub success is to not be seen as a customer by the dancers?
Yoda
17 years ago
Honestly, anyone who assumes that dancers enjoy grinding on strange men for any reason other than money is an idiot.
shadowcat
17 years ago
I have considered working at Chippendales and even seeking work as a male gigolo. The problem is that there are just too many men out there giving it away.
David9999
17 years ago
"why do I get the feeling that you are about to suggest the key to stripclub success is to not be seen as a customer by the dancers?"

Interesting question to brainstorm, however not sure how that would be possible. Notice that when a club patron is solicited for a dance, they sometimes can end up with an absurd choice. If they say no, they can be labeled a cheap bastard. If they say yes, they can be called a sick pervert. Maybe these guys that just handout 50's or 100's for the hell of it, and buy overpriced drinks - have the right idea, assuming their real thrill is just watching the stage show, absorbing the strip club vibe, and socializing with the various dancers.

Ironcat
17 years ago
Yoda, of course it is all about the money. But it is like the old joke about the guy with the small dick who whips it out just as he is about to get laid and the girl says "who do you expect to satisfy with that!" and he answers "me".
casualguy
17 years ago
I remember one dancer told me a few times I should be dancing for her. I like things the way they are. I guess she was trying to compliment me or something. What I sometimes find a bit weird is when a dancer says I smell good. I try to be clean but I don't put anything special on. I figure either others customers must stink a lot or 1 up to 5 dancers rubbed off on me and the dancer who said that is smelling all those dancer smells on me. I have run into a few dancers who smell a bit bad or have body odor etc. I usually keep quiet about it 99.9 percent of the time since my sense of smell seems to be better than most people. Now when a dancer smells like food, I like that. (The vanilla smell reminds me of some delicious cake.) That's actually a major drawback to going anyplace crowded, most people stink and don't even know it. I'm thinking with allergies my sense of smell must be superhuman gone crazy or something at times. I've actually debated a couple of times whether or not I should tell some dancers their body odor is a bit strong. If some dancers knew how much of them I could smell, they might be surprised. I don't really enjoy smelling their feminine hygene products but usually don't if my nose isn't within a couple of feet. So for me, many dancers do smell and they don't always smell good. But with alcohol and a smoky club, that usually drowns it out sufficiently.
casualguy
17 years ago
In the past I used to occasionally see dancers that looked repulsive to me. I still see some that don't look that great to me. It doesn't take much imagination to pretend to be nice to them but not really want to be too nice or they'll be coming back to you a whole lot more than you want. I have seen a tiny dancer doing a table dance for one guy that must have been about 3 times as wide as her. I would find that very repulsive. I don't see how they do it.
ThisOldManPlayed1
17 years ago
Funny this topic came UP!

I currently give dances to my SO, upon her requests. We pretend we're in a male (hetro) strip club. I start out giving her a lap dance in her living room. She then wants to go private (VIP). We adjourn to the bedroom for the private LDs. I do make her tip me though, with her money!

It's just fun and games, but very rewarding!
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