I've noticed that many strippers seem to be looking for reasons to get annoyed. Most common is probably where they would get annoyed being offered money for sex because they aren't a hooker but also getting annoyed if you were to say you wouldn't be interested in that, the implication to them being you don't think they are attractive enough. A second situation is where they ask why you don't call them so you call them and then they don't answer the phone, return calls or act annoyed if they do pick up the phone. It's possible this is a general female thing. Once I lived with a girl who got angry and told me to leave and then two weeks later called me and angrily starting yelling at me about leaving even though she was the one who had told me to leave. Have you noticed this with strippers? If you have, is there a reason behind it?
I think this type of upset is situational - and the reactions are based on the dancers current emotions. Many reactions include an emotional context, and that is missing in your post. The understanding you are looking for must come from introspection and examination of the emotional context of each reaction.
Doc, I really don't run into this problem all that often and I'm dealing with them regularly. Of course I don't tolerate whiny behavior from the girls I deal with, so that may be part of it, idk. I suspect you're experiencing this because you're giving off an "eager to please" vibe that creates a certain perception of you.
I think Rick nailed it. Would you tolerate erratic mood swings and rude behavior from your waitress or hair dresser? You are paying for their time and if it's not worth it, bail and find someone worth paying.
Perhaps they are Bipolar. I have known 3 strippers that have told me that they are Bipolar and take meds for it. Yet none of them have ever shown me their bad side.
savage, dude - don't try to use common sense and logic to figure out girls like these act that way. it's a riddle you are never going to figure out. the only reasonable answer for why they act like act is most girls have a tendency to dwell on being over dramatic. accept that and then accordingly to what works best for you.
It's not a problem for me with strippers. It's a pretty easy fix, if either of us is dissatisfied with how things are going we walk away.
With civilians, I find that most often when a women appears dissatisfied with all reasonable options there is a different, unrelated, issue in play. Often times its a trivial thing she knew wasn't worth getting upset about, but its subconsciously on her mind. To be honest though, I can't sit here and say women are the only ones that happens to. If it's a frequent thing in a relationship, I'd do some self reflection and talk about it though.
I think Cashman covered it. Is this a recent thing for you or something that's a regular issue where you club? If it's recent there's a lot of things stressing out the entire service industry including strip clubs and bars. Some dancers you know well might be really strapped financially right now and venting at you because they think they can.
There probably is a little something in what the others said about how the dancers perceive you. When they gripe about getting propositioned (which if they're cute happens all the time) is it just complaining or directed at you? If you're known as a guy who likes have fun, maybe it's girls letting you know they're open to being asked.
Phone calls are case-by-case. No telling what's going on with the other end of that line when a number gets dialed. If you don't get good vibes when you call, why do it? And if dancers are complaining about you not calling them, you can remind them their phones dial numbers too. I called one the other day and it sounded like kids were destroying her house. She was doing her best to talk but I kept things short lol.
"It's possible this is a general female thing." That sounds about right. Stripping is a job and each dancer handles it in her own way. That includes how she deals with customers. My enjoyment of the hobby went way up when I stopped chasing the rush and let things happen in their own time. If you're getting shit regularly from someone in a customer service job, you've got to decide if it's worth throwing more time and money after a bad outcome.
To be honest, you are paying strippers. If I wanted to deal with that petty shit - I’d find a real relationship (and go back to aging in double dog years)...
Strippers love it when I say that!
If I get that attitude, about how difficult things are for her, she better be able to pull live rabbits out of her asshole while my cock is in her mouth!
To the extent that any of the venting on stripperweb reflects actual behavior in the club, it's definitely the case that the girls can get annoyed over practically anything. Many of them are young, immature, frustrated and angry (over things that happened ITC or in their personal lives), and incredibly commonly among strippers, have very low EQ (one of the hallmarks of which is, you take anything that doesn't meet your needs, to be a personal insult). I have a feeling many of us recognize and next such girls quickly, so we don't experience it firsthand as much.
The only other comment I'd make is on phone calls. With few exceptions, no stripper wants you to actually dial her number for a voice call. Even if she really means she wants to call you while she's drunk and rolling in the club, that will go away as soon as she wakes up the next morning. No matter what she calls it, just text her, man.
"have very low EQ (one of the hallmarks of which is, you take anything that doesn't meet your needs, to be a personal insult)."
That's not just a characteristic of strippers, it also describes a certain poster here without naming him and getting into a flame war all over the internet let's just say he has a buddy who's a lion, another buddy is a turtle, and a third buddy who I don't remember is either a vulture or a skunk. and his name rhymes with Lick Coogan, but hey, it is what it is.
Based on 21cee’s post - regardless of the stripper’s IQ - it makes Subraman a customer. The customer is the guy with the money - who doesn’t want to deal with the stripper’s baggage.
lol... 2icee fail. In all fairness, I never said anything about IQ -- I said emotional intelligence (EQ), which is a completely different thing. Moreover, being a customer is a reflection on neither my IQ or EQ, it just means I like having sex with strippers. None of this makes me misogynist, none if it was a reflection on women. It was a specific reflection on strippers, who themselves will tell you they have to deal with a lot of low EQ strippers. You're welcome for the lesson, 2icee! Now you get to go look up EQ and see what it is :)
Now someone who would write this, THIS is reflective of low IQ: "Subraman you wound demented. You talk down on strippers claim thete jave low iqs"
what guy in his right mind would want to deal with stripper baggage in the first place? giving the stripper the cash serves these main purposes: get the guy's rocks off and the pathway to exit away from said baggage.
"what guy in his right mind would want to deal with stripper baggage in the first place?"
To me it's the cost of doing business. See the same girl enough and it's inevitable. Some guys set ground rules about what's off the table for chit chat, but I'd rather a dancer talk about what's on her mind than constantly filter. I don't need a personal connection, but don't run away from it either.
Subraman the point is you seek out and pay hookers who you think are beneath you. Thats a sick mentality. You even plan trips around being able to find such women so you can pay to fuck.
2icee: I don't think they're beneath me, that's you projecting your pretend progressive weirdness. And your unhealthy attitude towards the sex industry -- that is a sick mentality. It's two consenting adults, it doesn't make either person bad. There ARE bad things and bad people -- those who advocate drugging, beating, or psychologically abusing people, for example. But there's nothing sick or unhealthy about consenting sex workers or the sex industry
I was the one who posted this for discussion and I think the observations given about these girls are accurate and the solutions given are ones I've not been following so I run into more of this than other customers.
To sum up, dancers react according to their current emotional state and their emotional state is always changing so their reactions are always changing too. Some of them have psychological, drug or alcohol problems and that exacerbates the problem of erratic behavior. Women also like drama and some of their behavior can be explained as a desire to manufacture drama where none exists.
To counteract this and get them to behave better would be to act a little less eager to please, don't put up with bad behavior, drop them and find someone else if bad behavior persists, and don't reward the bad behavior by throwing more money at them.
Subraman I'm just calling you out for what you are.
Op dancers are people just like anyone else. In tbeir jib theyre nice to everyone. Good people skills are a no just. If theyre consistently annoyed with you it could be you
"To counteract this and get them to behave better would be to act a little less eager to please, don't put up with bad behavior, drop them and find someone else if bad behavior persists, and don't reward the bad behavior by throwing more money at them."
Who are you to "punish" dancers for what you perceive to be. "Bad behavior"? Looking down on or people like that is suck and misogynistic. Maybe the problem is you...
===> "That's not just a characteristic of strippers, it also describes a certain poster here without naming him and getting into a flame war all over the internet let's just say he has a buddy who's a lion, another buddy is a turtle, and a third buddy who I don't remember is either a vulture or a skunk. and his name rhymes with Lick Coogan, but hey, it is what it is."
That was just so so subtle 25. Dammit I give up - who could you possibly mean? 😀
When supposedly grown ass men are having a discussion on a strip club site about "emotional intelligence" we know that shit has gone very wrong. Somebody may need to perform a self exam to relocate his testicles. I'm not saying who of course because I don't want to start a flame war... 😉
===> "Rick theyre not indebted to you. There are enough tricks to go around in a club"
Agree 100% on the first part, but that's a two way street. Nobody owes anyone in a club unless they agree to xyz. I can spend my money on whomever I choose and she can do the same with her time and attention.
Where I'll disagree is with the notion that all "tricks' are created equal. I think that, on the whole, the average tuscler spends more on girls than many other customers, which gives them a certain amount of bargaining power, especially on slower nights with few strong options. Now this may hold more true in some cities and clubs and less true in others, but there it is.
^ You should say that all tricks might be created equal , but if you outspent the other guy in the past that would make you equaler in her eyes.
Icey being a socialist really doesn’t understand the concept!
Represent a few thousand women in divorces allows one to understand them and growing up with a lot of female friends allows one to like them. I like and understand women. Sad that so many men fear them.
I once had a stripper phone me while she was driving from Columbia SC to Myrtle Beach. Kept talking for about 20 minutes. Mostly about what an ass hole her boy friend was. She also once left a message on my answering machine that was too long and got cut off.
One of our TUSCL brethren once described strippers like cats. They come up to all soft and purring, and roll onto their back and show their bellies. You scratch their belly for longer than nanosecond, they bite and scratch the shit out of you, then run ten feet away and look back at you like you're the world's biggest asshole. It doesn't make any sense and it's not supposed to.
Or it could be that the stereotype about self esteem and daddy issues is accurate. Occam's Razor.
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With civilians, I find that most often when a women appears dissatisfied with all reasonable options there is a different, unrelated, issue in play. Often times its a trivial thing she knew wasn't worth getting upset about, but its subconsciously on her mind. To be honest though, I can't sit here and say women are the only ones that happens to. If it's a frequent thing in a relationship, I'd do some self reflection and talk about it though.
There probably is a little something in what the others said about how the dancers perceive you. When they gripe about getting propositioned (which if they're cute happens all the time) is it just complaining or directed at you? If you're known as a guy who likes have fun, maybe it's girls letting you know they're open to being asked.
"It's possible this is a general female thing." That sounds about right. Stripping is a job and each dancer handles it in her own way. That includes how she deals with customers. My enjoyment of the hobby went way up when I stopped chasing the rush and let things happen in their own time. If you're getting shit regularly from someone in a customer service job, you've got to decide if it's worth throwing more time and money after a bad outcome.
Strippers love it when I say that!
If I get that attitude, about how difficult things are for her, she better be able to pull live rabbits out of her asshole while my cock is in her mouth!
The only other comment I'd make is on phone calls. With few exceptions, no stripper wants you to actually dial her number for a voice call. Even if she really means she wants to call you while she's drunk and rolling in the club, that will go away as soon as she wakes up the next morning. No matter what she calls it, just text her, man.
Juice could probably manage that!
"have very low EQ (one of the hallmarks of which is, you take anything that doesn't meet your needs, to be a personal insult)."
That's not just a characteristic of strippers, it also describes a certain poster here without naming him and getting into a flame war all over the internet let's just say he has a buddy who's a lion, another buddy is a turtle, and a third buddy who I don't remember is either a vulture or a skunk. and his name rhymes with Lick Coogan, but hey, it is what it is.
Then why do all your OTC girls keep leaving them boiling on your stove? https://youtu.be/ecWhXP2jM28?t=75s
Now someone who would write this, THIS is reflective of low IQ: "Subraman you wound demented. You talk down on strippers claim thete jave low iqs"
To me it's the cost of doing business. See the same girl enough and it's inevitable. Some guys set ground rules about what's off the table for chit chat, but I'd rather a dancer talk about what's on her mind than constantly filter. I don't need a personal connection, but don't run away from it either.
To sum up, dancers react according to their current emotional state and their emotional state is always changing so their reactions are always changing too. Some of them have psychological, drug or alcohol problems and that exacerbates the problem of erratic behavior. Women also like drama and some of their behavior can be explained as a desire to manufacture drama where none exists.
To counteract this and get them to behave better would be to act a little less eager to please, don't put up with bad behavior, drop them and find someone else if bad behavior persists, and don't reward the bad behavior by throwing more money at them.
Op dancers are people just like anyone else. In tbeir jib theyre nice to everyone. Good people skills are a no just. If theyre consistently annoyed with you it could be you
Also, did you look up with EQ is, so you can see how foolish you're making yourself look? lol
And stop calling them, man!
We are the ones holding the cash that they wish to earn. Were you confused by that?
That was just so so subtle 25. Dammit I give up - who could you possibly mean? 😀
When supposedly grown ass men are having a discussion on a strip club site about "emotional intelligence" we know that shit has gone very wrong. Somebody may need to perform a self exam to relocate his testicles. I'm not saying who of course because I don't want to start a flame war... 😉
Agree 100% on the first part, but that's a two way street. Nobody owes anyone in a club unless they agree to xyz. I can spend my money on whomever I choose and she can do the same with her time and attention.
Where I'll disagree is with the notion that all "tricks' are created equal. I think that, on the whole, the average tuscler spends more on girls than many other customers, which gives them a certain amount of bargaining power, especially on slower nights with few strong options. Now this may hold more true in some cities and clubs and less true in others, but there it is.
Icey being a socialist really doesn’t understand the concept!
The answer to all of OPs questions is they want the most money for the least effort.
Negotiating p2p is a dance. A lot of girls like plausible deniability, it's how the whole sugar baby thing started.
Or it could be that the stereotype about self esteem and daddy issues is accurate. Occam's Razor.