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OT: The new face of slavery

Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_ChuloMiami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)

"Costco Pulling Products Allegedly Gathered By Forced Monkey Labor"

^ not a joke

dailywire.com

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Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

^ I wonder what reparations the monkeys are gonna ask for.

Sources say Benjamin Crump is already representing many of the victims

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Avatar for TheeOSU
TheeOSU

Monkey lives matter!

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Avatar for rickthevulture
rickthevulture

Some of you damn dirty apes are beyond the pale (or, as skifredo would put it, “beyond the pail”)

Free the frickin’ monkees! I thought two of ‘em were dead anyway. Squawk!

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Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion

Not Monkees lil’ bud, monkeys. As in the mischievous lil’ primates.

But still fucked up on the part of the hairless apes. ROAR!!!

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TheeOSU
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Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

Some news outlets are reporting gangs of monkeys looting a local-Walmart and leaving with big-screen TVs - wow

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Avatar for rickthevulture
rickthevulture

Aah... I though Papi Ape had misspelled that charming comedy-rock group. Good call. It would be fucked up to enslave Zombie Davy Jones! Squawk!!!

Still fucked up to enslave the monkeys. You need to go all wildebeest on the slave master’s asses. roar... Squawk!

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Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

You know there are gonna be some masters that are gonna get jungle-fever and impregnate some of the female monkeys and have some mixed-race kids - unbelievable

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Avatar for Eve
Eve

Nothing personal, just monkey business.

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Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

They should do the right thing and give them 40-acres-and-a-mule - just sayin'

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Avatar for loganshard
loganshard

Yea, I thought it was the Babylon Bee when I read it

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Avatar for rattdog
rattdog

well then i will be boycotting Costco Pulling Products Allegedly Gathered By Forced Monkey Labor - where else will get those ripe coconuts? only those monkeys can get to those ripe coconuts!!!

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Avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg

In a related development, Harris Teeter grocery stores have immediately ceased selling tern eggs gathered by hippopotamuses climbing cliff walls....

HT refused to pay the increased demands of the hippos. The price of term eggs was already through the roof as the number of eggs being successfully returned was miniscule.😏

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Avatar for Eve
Eve

I don't know if it's the article or the responses in this thread that are more off the chain.

(no pun intended)

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Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

I just hope there isn't another civil-war over this ("Four score and seven monkeys ago our fathers brought forth upon this continent ...)

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Avatar for mike710
mike710

I don't think Costco got the memo. This was one of the hidden relief programs called "Primate Advancement Program" that Nancy Pelosi snuck into the last Corona Virus relief program. She was in a battle with Trump and had to pick this program over funding for the MET.

The goal of this program was to lift these poor primates from the jungle and give them gainful employment. It makes them feel better about their life when they earn the bananas they eat rather than take them as a handout.

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Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

What @Mike710 said makes sense - these monkeys needed to learn some skills so they could obtain gainful employment instead of hanging around on trees all day - get a job you lazy fuck

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Avatar for TheeOSU
TheeOSU

youtube.com

Here we come
Walkin' down the street
We get the funniest looks from
Everyone we meet
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
And people say we monkey around
But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down
We go wherever we want to
Do what we like to do
We don't have time to get restless
There's always something new
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
And people say we monkey around
But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down
We're just tryin' to be friendly
Come and watch us sing and play
We're the young generation
And we've got something to say, oh
Any time
Or anywhere
Just look over your shoulder
Guess who'll be standing there?
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
And people say we monkey around
But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down
Whaaa, one time!
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
And people say we monkey around
But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down
We're just tryin' to be friendly
Come and watch us sing and play
We're the young generation
And we've got something to say
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees

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Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion

No no OSU-ape. I’ve already clarified this. This is about monkeys, not monkees

On the other hand, raising Davy Jones from the grave to make him my undead minion would be good for a laugh. Maybe I should consider it...

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

Are free bananas a thing in this election?

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Avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95

Better stay clear of the monkey picket lines. Feces will be thrown.

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Avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234

Can we get a monkey focus group together? This article has no mention of monkey feelings. Are they sure monkeys don’t want employment?

It seems a bit one sided to make assumptions without hearing both sides.

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

Monkeys should get IC status

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Avatar for Studme53
Studme53

I only buy monkey labor-free coconut products thank you. 8 year old Thai kids making 100 bhat a day gather them instead

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