"Costco Pulling Products Allegedly Gathered By Forced Monkey Labor"
^ not a joke
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OT: The new face of slavery
Oct 28, 2020, 4:25 PM
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Monkey lives matter!
Some of you damn dirty apes are beyond the pale (or, as skifredo would put it, “beyond the pail”)
Free the frickin’ monkees! I thought two of ‘em were dead anyway. Squawk!
Not Monkees lil’ bud, monkeys. As in the mischievous lil’ primates.
But still fucked up on the part of the hairless apes. ROAR!!!
Some news outlets are reporting gangs of monkeys looting a local-Walmart and leaving with big-screen TVs - wow
Aah... I though Papi Ape had misspelled that charming comedy-rock group. Good call. It would be fucked up to enslave Zombie Davy Jones! Squawk!!!
Still fucked up to enslave the monkeys. You need to go all wildebeest on the slave master’s asses. roar... Squawk!
You know there are gonna be some masters that are gonna get jungle-fever and impregnate some of the female monkeys and have some mixed-race kids - unbelievable
Nothing personal, just monkey business.
They should do the right thing and give them 40-acres-and-a-mule - just sayin'
Yea, I thought it was the Babylon Bee when I read it
well then i will be boycotting Costco Pulling Products Allegedly Gathered By Forced Monkey Labor - where else will get those ripe coconuts? only those monkeys can get to those ripe coconuts!!!
In a related development, Harris Teeter grocery stores have immediately ceased selling tern eggs gathered by hippopotamuses climbing cliff walls....
HT refused to pay the increased demands of the hippos. The price of term eggs was already through the roof as the number of eggs being successfully returned was miniscule.😏
I don't know if it's the article or the responses in this thread that are more off the chain.
(no pun intended)
I just hope there isn't another civil-war over this ("Four score and seven monkeys ago our fathers brought forth upon this continent ...)
I don't think Costco got the memo. This was one of the hidden relief programs called "Primate Advancement Program" that Nancy Pelosi snuck into the last Corona Virus relief program. She was in a battle with Trump and had to pick this program over funding for the MET.
The goal of this program was to lift these poor primates from the jungle and give them gainful employment. It makes them feel better about their life when they earn the bananas they eat rather than take them as a handout.
What @Mike710 said makes sense - these monkeys needed to learn some skills so they could obtain gainful employment instead of hanging around on trees all day - get a job you lazy fuck
Here we come Walkin' down the street We get the funniest looks from Everyone we meet Hey, hey, we're the Monkees And people say we monkey around But we're too busy singing To put anybody down We go wherever we want to Do what we like to do We don't have time to get restless There's always something new Hey, hey, we're the Monkees And people say we monkey around But we're too busy singing To put anybody down We're just tryin' to be friendly Come and watch us sing and play We're the young generation And we've got something to say, oh Any time Or anywhere Just look over your shoulder Guess who'll be standing there? Hey, hey, we're the Monkees And people say we monkey around But we're too busy singing To put anybody down Whaaa, one time! Hey, hey, we're the Monkees And people say we monkey around But we're too busy singing To put anybody down We're just tryin' to be friendly Come and watch us sing and play We're the young generation And we've got something to say Hey, hey, we're the Monkees Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
No no OSU-ape. I’ve already clarified this. This is about monkeys, not monkees
On the other hand, raising Davy Jones from the grave to make him my undead minion would be good for a laugh. Maybe I should consider it...
Are free bananas a thing in this election?
Better stay clear of the monkey picket lines. Feces will be thrown.
Can we get a monkey focus group together? This article has no mention of monkey feelings. Are they sure monkeys don’t want employment?
It seems a bit one sided to make assumptions without hearing both sides.
Monkeys should get IC status
I only buy monkey labor-free coconut products thank you. 8 year old Thai kids making 100 bhat a day gather them instead
^ I wonder what reparations the monkeys are gonna ask for.
Sources say Benjamin Crump is already representing many of the victims