What are your thoughts on the current state of dating and its future?

Roosh said that back in the day, when he was younger 20 years ago, you could go to a bar and talk to a girl and have a reasonable chance that she would want to meet up with you for a date. PUA techniques worked because all you needed to do was be confident, approach, talk, and act standard. Nowadays, he found that to be impossible. Roosh was writing in 2015!

The most competitive guys who used to do PUA have switched from Cold Approaching to building an Instagram brand. Many of my friends are trying to become "famous" on IG to leverage that fame. Note that this group consists of highly motivated guys, and not everyone will spend money, time, and effort to doing this.

Meanwhile, a lot of the masses are becoming incels, which is a negative development. Since it could post problems while and others are taking the "Blackpill."Under the "Blackpill," there are a lot of different subgroups under these umbrella terms. However, their idea is that they won't be able to change their situation; PUA is a scam and either going to move abroad to date(locationmaxxing) or start using escorts. The latter, which I do think is a positive development. I had a friend told me that it is becoming more common for younger men to lose their virginity to escorts. It's interesting since it seems like the "whoremongering" lifestyle is more for the older crowd, so its interesting to how it could impact dating.

29 comments

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  • Papi_Chulo
    4 years ago
    It looks like you're way overthinking this or maybe have some kinda agenda.

    It's human nature for men and women to wanna get together - most women want an S.O. in their lives it's just that most females (no matter the species) tend to be selective w.r.t. choosing an S.O. - reality is that guys that can't find a suitable S.O. usually has to do w/ the guy's shortcomings vs "something being wrong w/ women"
  • Salty.Nutz
    4 years ago
    Polyamory, men that can afford will be able to keep multiple women.
  • nicespice
    4 years ago
    Roosh in 2015 is the male PUA equivalent of a burnt out stripper complaining that month was sooo much better back in the day. While I’m sure there is good points to be made, no it’s not impossible. Just individuals unable or unmotivated to keep up and blaming external things.
  • twentyfive
    4 years ago
    Hogwash plain and simple
  • rickdugan
    4 years ago
    Same crap excuses that losers always give for not being able to find a date. "Wah wah girls have changed so much, they don't want cool guys like me anymore, they aren't approachable like they used to be, <bitch> <moan>."

    Girls were never that easy to approach cold, either then or now. When bar hookups did happen, alcohol often played a role, just like it does today. And if you looked like the Elephant Man 20 years ago, your luck was going to be about the same as it is today.

    And like today, odd balls who didn't know how to talk to women, or were simply too fat and/or ugly for things to ever go easy for them, also existed. They just didn't have online forums to bitch and commiserate on like they do today.

    Here's my advice fwiw: If you are simply striking out, figure out what you're doing wrong. Get more practice interacting socially.
    Spend extra time in the gym. There's nothing that will change things like mental defects (including autistic tendencies) or a fucked up mug, but at least you can improve your chances somewhat by looking better and learning to simulate normal behavior.

    You're welcome. 😉
  • Hannathedog79
    4 years ago
    I remember back in the day, all girls liked me, "as a friend". Then they'd try to hook me up with one of their ugly friends who also had problems getting a date. Um, no thanks on that. Fast forward to today, 35 years later, girls still all like me, "as a friend", but now are trying to hook me up with there mom or grandma. Ugh! Unfortunately, I'm now 30 years too old for the women I'm attracted to. If a young, attractive women is thinking that maybe I have money to offset the age difference and my average looks, well I have enough to pay my bills, hit a week of spring training every year and buy a new truck every 12 years, but there won't be any jewelry, expensive dinners or trips to Hawaii coming from me.

    Although most of the women I've been attracted to over the years have commented that I'm smart, funny, athletic, easy to get along with and certainly not ugly, they've also been unanimous in seeing me as a friend or a brother and not a dating prospect. Most of my friends over the years are flabbergasted that I can't seem to hook up. I apparently have no game and no finishing skills. :) I've definitely proven over the years that I absolutely can't tell the difference between when a woman likes me and when she LIKES me. I guess wrong every single time! :)

    I've had exactly 1 true girlfriend in my life, when I was 18. Several instances of thinking I had (or was on the way to having) a girlfriend for a few weeks before the truth became obvious. And several where she thought something was going on, but I knew immediately it wasn't there, yet hung on for a week or 2 just in case it was just taking a long time to click. Actually doesn't bother me that much anymore. To be honest, I'm very picky. I learned a long time ago, better to be with-out an S.O. than to be with one you aren't happy with.
  • Salty.Nutz
    4 years ago
    I concur with what rick says. my peronal opinon about Roosh is that he was hooking up with escorts and he did not know it. The women were probably hiting him up for taxi money after he banged them. when i visited 3rd world countries i would befriend other men in the club and they would tell that they were prepaids. I would approach and confirmed that they were. this happened in European countries and South America. The US is almost there, increase in clubs offering bottle service VIP is a good indicator.
  • Salty.Nutz
    4 years ago
    Pussy is pussy paid or not it feels the same.
  • Beat100
    4 years ago
    @Salty.Nutz
    I agree with you on the Roosh it seems a lot of the girls where either Couchsurfing hippie types or suspicious.

    Could you expand on the bottle service VIP comment? Do you think most of the girls on the table escort? There's probably a system in place..etc.
  • mike710
    4 years ago
    @heaving. I can definitely relate to what you are saying. I have had some fun with a woman recently and she has asked me twice now if I want a girlfriend. I'm not opposed to the idea but usually just let that type of thing happen naturally over the course of time rather than make it some kind of proclamation. I too warm up slowly to something like that.

    I may be different in that I can do the sex part and hanging out quickly but I take "girlfriend" as something a bit more than a casual hookup.

    I guess as I have aged, I tend to meet women that are hearing the biological clock running fast. I'm not opposed to an LTR but don't seek it as things are starting. I'm happy and content as I am but enjoy the company of women. I just won't force anything.
  • Nidan111
    4 years ago
    I honestly have no idea how to adequately respond to this thread. I have never had a problem with women wanting to “date” me. But, I have never picked up a woman in any bar scene. The women that I have dated/hooked up with were always in intellectual environments such as work, college, or while I am in location giving lectures. The Bar Scene, as far as I am concerned, was never anything other than a good place to hang out and people watch
  • Icey
    4 years ago
    I've never been rejected by any girl I've really wanted. Of course I've been rejected by random girls I hit on. But never by anyone I wanted something more with.

    Its not about women its about you. Would you want a female version of yourself? If not work on yourself.

    Roosh goes to poor countries and pays hoes. He's ugly and misogynistic. They don't go for his charm nor looks.

    In expensive clubs when you get bottle service you can pay your host to bring known hookers to your table. In some clubs hostesses and waitresses are available if you have enough $$$. At most clubs in Vegas or LA for example an hour or 2 before closing you get hookers coming in trying to hook it rip off drunk guys before last call
  • Icey
    4 years ago
    And dating strippers isn't that hard. If you hit it off great. Like with any girl. The key with stripper hoes is to never white knight them. Instead accept them and help them be the best stripper hoes they can. Help their hustle. They love that lulz
  • skibum609
    4 years ago
    Drinking age when I was younger was 18,so men learned at a younger age to pick up women in bars. With no interent, 1 phone in my frat for 40 people, we simply grew up doing everything face to face. Adding to that we grew up in a society where men and women were supposed to couple up and it was just easier.
  • Studme53
    4 years ago
    I have 3 adult children in there 20s and they seem to be doing alright- my oldest, who’s kind of quiet from a great pretty girlfriend on a dating service he’s engaged too. The other 2 found partners through work and friends.
    Mrs Stud found some crazy texts on my sons phone a few years back from a girl we knew that she said were obscene and very graphic about what she was going to do to/with him. Mrs Stud thought it was terrible. I played along, but I believe it’s pretty normal.
  • rickdugan
    4 years ago
    ===> "I have 3 adult children in there 20s and they seem to be doing alright- my oldest, who’s kind of quiet from a great pretty girlfriend on a dating service he’s engaged too. The other 2 found partners through work and friends."

    This. Lots of people still date, still fall in love and still get married. Sorry to say it, but the guys on here are saying a lot of the same shit that lonely guys were saying 25 years ago, blaming changing times as the reason that women don't want them. The reality is that there is nothing new about a certain % of guys struggling more than others.

    I'm going to try to be a little nicer as I finish this off. If you are struggling to find romance, it's a YOU thing. I say this not to be an asshole, but rather to promote personality responsibility and ownership of your own problems, which is the first step towards meaningful corrections.

    Nature gives us the instinctual ability to read and process a multitude of conscious and subconscious inputs from someone of the opposite sex. Much of this is biological and behavioral. If a guy keeps getting rejected over and over, it's because there is something off about him that makes him a less desirable mate. Sometimes these issues are fixable or can be overcome by behavioral changes, but first you need to acknowledge the problem before you can hope to do something about it.
  • Icey
    4 years ago
    You have to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself why youre not looking for a female version of yourself. Look at the types of women you do attract.

    Things like shyness or approach anxiety can be worked on. And anyone can work out and look better. Have better hygiene etc.

    On the other hand jf you fuck pillows are into pegging want to treat women like things and not people can't empathize etc you have more work....and can in no way blame anyone but yourself.

    Meeting women is easy. Theyre everywhere. Be the kind of man women want to meet
  • NAAAASTY
    4 years ago
    Best way to meet people is in person. Reading forums, talking about blackpill, pua, IG etc is the mark of someone who spends all his time behind the computer. I've never had anybody reject me nor heard of any rejections face to face bc of my IG count nor do I have one.

    Same thing that attracted women 20, 30, 50 yrs ago is the same thing that attracts them now: confidence, humor, personality, connection, resources etc. Looks too, but there's a difference between looking good and being good looking.

    Develop attractive qualities. Hint: bitching about how dating's changed and how nobody will give you time of day isn't one.

    NAAAASTY
  • Beat100
    4 years ago
    @iceyloco
    I agree with most of your points.
  • SanchoRG
    4 years ago
    Most women I meet have nothing to bring to the table that I don’t already have. Except children but I hate children. Remove that and what do you have? Sex? Companionship? I can get all that as a single guy. I fully acknowledge I am jaded and broken, but my mindset is not all that uncommon.

    I could have been married 10 times over by now but I have eyes, ears and a brain. I learn from the mistakes of other people in my life. Very few of my friends and families marriage seems to get better over time. Many are much worse. Being alone is awesome, being in the wrong relationship is so incredibly lonely.

  • Bavarian
    4 years ago
    I share Sancho’s viewpoint.

    There’s no point in being in a relationship.

    Women are being chased by too many cocks and they will cheat eventually.
  • SanchoRG
    4 years ago
    Wait a sec I don’t agree lol
  • latinalover69
    4 years ago
    I crushed it with chix in my 20s and 30s. This was in the 80s and 90s. Married now with kids but still a playa. My advice, never stop learning. Read all the PUA books or articles. You might just learn one thing. Watch Youtube videos on making love to women. There are also great youtube vids from hot chicks giving you advice. Absorb everything, read everything. I have like 6 books on how to be a better lover. Learn how to flirt. Learn how to be dominant. Take care of yourself. Workout. But I think the very best thing that gave me ultra confidence in any situation with hot chicks is... strip clubs, by far. I've been to so many strip clubs in the US and brothels in Mex and South America that conversing with a super hot chick comes naturally and is effortless. I have developed a certain cocky yet friendly attitude that just works for me. I'm never needy or gush over a ten. I just treat her like my pesky little sister and tease her a bit. The hotter the girl the more I tease her. Works almost every time. My main target at clubs are dancers in their 20s. Now in the real world I don't get girls in their 20's. I get 45-55 gals which is fine by me since I am pushing 60. But my confidence and cocky friendly attitude also works wonders with these older gals. Bottom line, like anything else you want to be successful you gotta study, read, practice, put in the time, and not be afraid of failing. Read, study, learn. Getting chicks is just another skill set.

  • rattdog
    4 years ago
    latinlover69 - i'm impressed. i see you've read the materials going back at least 10 years. confident, cocky and funny were the 3 main components outlined in the majority of those concepts. i believe a guy name russ jeffries was one of the major ones that promoted those ideas. you my man i can tell love the thrill of that chase. i can even safely assume you enjoy that rush way even more than a 9 making you to jizz from corner of a room to another.

    sure it's a skill set that has to be developed just like learning a job, craft, instrument, etc. but the majority of guys for the most part don't find the chase to be an enjoyable experience, whether made in vain or not. if anything it's a real royal pain in the ass. been there done that. just being happy to hand out some bills for a ball draining experience is good enough. this saves time and effort too, which can be then used to cultivate other more rewarding interests.
  • Tetradon
    4 years ago
    See the "manosphere" thread, a good friend of mine was intimately involved in the PUA/seduction community for years and said it's a circus-worthy freak show. They're creepy, emotionally needy, and several of them are even awaiting sexual assault charges for their "tactics." Instead, work on bettering yourself (body, style, social skills), let it lead to confidence, and get in your reps. Accept that you'll fail at dating like anything else, and eventually you'll see your hit rate climb and you'll date higher quality women.

    Another newsflash: women are just as insecure, psychologically fucked up, and clueless about the opposite sex as men are, so don't take rejection personally. The difference is, a man who is a natural 3 can, with hard work and humility, make himself a 7. A woman who is a natural 3 can maybe make herself a 4. (Hint, ladies: Skip the mall, hit the gym. We don't care about your Louis Vuitton purse. And we prefer a simple woman who makes us feel like a king to a high powered lawyer who has traveled to 100 countries who doesn't.)

    The dating "game" changes constantly, too. I don't do social media, so fuck Instagram or Twitter or Snapchat game. I loathe bars and clubs, so 86 those too. Know who you are and what maximizes it. If you're a good-looking idiot and social butterfly, maybe bars and clubs are great for you. I'm an introverted, decent looking but whip-smart MF, so the more traditional online dating sites have worked wonders.

    Note what I didn't mention in there--strip clubs. An artificial setting for some fun conversations and dances/extras if that's your bag, but the social dynamics in no way resemble reality. In my life, at least, it serves a completely different purpose.
  • rickdugan
    4 years ago
    ===> "I am aware of my limitations and I am working on them. However, if I can't find someone I like, I'll keep complaining. It's okay to be alone, but I'll keep complaining, because it's fun."

    Complaining is one thing, but this never-ending search for outside factors to blame is getting ridiculous, for all the reasons I discussed. Anyone who does this is not taking as much ownership of his own limitations as he seems to believe because there are plenty of other guys not having this much trouble.
  • rickdugan
    4 years ago
    Again, I'm not trying to be a jerk. I'm not exactly a rock star myself, but in the last 30 years I have not been alone for more than 6 months at any point in time and that includes two marriages, two live-in girlfriends and various other relationships. And even when I was "alone" I was fucking and sucking random hookups that just weren't GF material.

    Even today, a solid majority of women want relationships. Being alone, especially over the holidays, is no fun for almost anyone. It's simply a matter of making yourself a guy that some of these women actually want.
  • NAAAASTY
    4 years ago
    The easiest way to improve your dating is Be friendly-- to everybody; old ladies, guys, that fat cow (ok that wasn't that friendly ;) -- but girls know when you're only being friendly to ones you're interested as doing so bc you want something. Girls >> guys are attracted to social proof. Even if you're dumb, clumsy, and physically unattractive, if you create a good time for everyone around you, you will be attractive.

    NAAAASTY
  • Icey
    4 years ago
    My advice is be direct sincere and consistent. Let women know exactly what you want. Don't play games and don't waste anyones time.

    Women fall fast and hard when they find you attractive
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