Chances .....

I learned my lesson already, I wont attempt a second. If she does I might consider it but I am not wasting anymore time with games

Someone who flakes and doesn't bother notifying before the appointment better have a damn good excuse, like her car caught on fire or she was in the hospital or else she is toast. I can't imagine having seen her before changes this any.

Now if it is someone who has to reschedule and makes their best effort to reach out before, that is a different story. She would get another chance unless it becomes a habit.

If she texts me beforehand, she'll get one more shot. A no show is dead to me, at least for OTC consideration. Carving out time is the hardest thing for me to do, so someone who wastes it is someone I won't deal with.

@Lil Jayne Doe

I will pay along...

“You teach people how to treat you.”

I would let the girl know (stripper or sugar baby or civilian) how important to me is being on time and or letting each other know in advance (this is the key to no getting upset, enough advance notice) if anything changes or we have to reschedule.

If I am just getting to know a potential ATF and she is late more than once or not show, I know she has failed to honor basic social conventions in such a fundamental way, that I don’t believe it is worth my time to try to change her behavior.

If she doesn’t “get it” by now, and adult 18 years or older when will she ever “get it”?

I have told a long Time Favorite before that I don’t wait for doctors, lawyers, teachers, priest etc or even family members more than 15 minutes, without communication or explanation.

Now days with cellphones is even easier to let each other know if you are going to be late.

I explained to her that having people waiting is a power trip, is disrespectful and you would be wasting their time, and time/life is one of the most valuable things in this world.

I had the Long Time Favorite agreed to meet OTC, and it was going great.

Needless to say she failed to show up one time for OTC after a handful of good meetings, I texted her, no response, I left after 15 minutes.

Next day she gave me a lame excuse; she was sick and fell asleep at a girlfriend’s. And asked to please give her one last chance. We meet a couple more times for OTC and it was OK.

The third time again she was a no show, after 15 minutes I sent her a text telling her “I waited for you 15 minutes for the last time”.

I haven seen her after, she texted me and left me voicemail messages apologizing, trying to get together for OTC, I never responded to her.

Make sure that you let her know that you prioritize reliability above almost all other traits as you search for a lasting relationship with an ATF.

My last FAV and I will agree to meet for VIP and was never late, if something came up we would let the other know and reschedule accordingly.

One the best girls I have had the pleasure, she texted me one last time to let me know she was moving and tanked me for the good times.

Depends on how hot she is. If she's average or slightly above average and she completely no-shows she is done. If she is well above average she will get a 2nd chance. If she is drop dead gorgeous she may get a few more chances.

If we have a good ongoing relationship I may cut her a little more slack. Also, how she offers to make it up to me would factor in.

I agree with Whodey. It all depends on how hot she is. And what history I've had with her. I've put up with some shit from my hot ATF and CFs that I would not countenance from the average stripper.

I would like to be with Member, stood up once and I move on. However, time does heal wounds, and I am consistent. So, if a woman had me wanting OTC once, she can probably get me there again. I did have an occasion many years ago, maybe my first OTC, where a dancer I really liked stood me up once (after I gave her a small down payment) and I agreed to try a second time with no down payment. I would be very critical of that behavior if someone else did it. It turned out pretty well the second time. However, I like variety and don't like favorites, so that was also the last time.

I'm a sucka and overpay for meetups at the same time I always have backup plans. Could be as simple as money saved or spending less than half of agreed amount and having different fun at the SC. Things get more complicated if I bought event tickets or booked a hotel in advance, none of which I do anymore.

To answer the question, I only do meetups w/faves and give them plenty of chances. A club fave remains a club fave even if she's flaky outside. I used to have a no show no tip rule to cover the cost of unused booking, but as stated no longer do.

After the first flake I expect flakes from there on out and plan accordingly. Even before the first one I get a good read on whether she's serious or not. Responsiveness, enthusiasm, agreeableness, flirtatiousness are good signs leading up. Ghosting for any reason is not. Her response level should be at or above the level to see her at the club.

NAAAASTY

It absolutely depends on our history, how hot she is, and if I'm being honest what the price was. Take a girl with little to no history, who's just hot enough and charging a just below the max I'm willing to pay. She's once and done, I'm not even giving her an opportunity to explain. A girl who've I've seen successfully a few times, is smoking hot, and has a good price point, I'll cut some slack.

The flake/cancellation also matters, probably even more. Sending me a text a day before saying she can't make it and would like to reschedule isn't that big of a deal. Going dark with no warning an hour before its time to meet up is a much more egregious offense.

I really don't care WHY she's flaking though. For the most part, I'm not going to believe the excuse anyway. Don't waste your time or insult my intelligence with some convoluted story.

There are lots of fish in the sea, so if she is new and doesn’t communicate the no show ahead of time, I’m moving on. If we’ve had some history and she later communicates, it depends but I might try again.

Flakiness seems to be extremely common and I’ve learned to tolerate a small amount of it if I think she is generally reliable based on history and if she promptly communicates. But I also value my time and her time. If she shows she won’t do the same, it’s not worth it.

My thinking on this is flakiness is equivalent to how well you know her, if she can’t be bothered to keep an appointment I can’t be bothered to waste my time or money on her.

Zero tolerance for disrespect, civvie, pro, whatever.

Cancellations don't bother me to a point. Shit happens. Too frequent and I'll move on. No show / no call however is just rude. That won't happen a second time. What about you, Jayne? How many times would you tolerate someone wasting your time?

ZERO. One flake and there will be ZERO time wasted on any future endeavors.

My time is the most valuable to me. There are plenty of other pay for play girls out there. I hold no attachment to any of them for any reason. I move on immediately.

i might cut some slack to a beauty. but i do let her know that she needs to do better.

Like they often state: “money is exchanged for my time....blah, blah” My time is important, too. Providers complain about not being respected; wasting MY time is disrespectful. One chance.

I don’t care about looks - I’m more interested in full service.

If a beauty who doesn’t let me do filthy shit to her flakes out - more than once - I’m done.

If a girl who might be a 6 after a few beers - but who can pull a (live) rabbit out of her ass - flakes a few times - I’m likely to forgive her. I know true filth doesn’t worry about the time of day.

I had met a true slob on fb years ago. She kept emailing and dm’ing me photos - and she wanted to be tied down and tortured. She was much cuter in person - and that made me very hard as I tied her down - and snapped her nipples - and pushed my fist inside her. But she was a civilian - so I didn’t drop any cash on her.

Cancellation without an enthusiastic reschedule is a dealbreaker

None. I don't have a lot of free time, so any time I do dedicate to a meetup is valuable. If a girl goes completely radio silent or cancels when I'm already waiting for her, then I wash my hands of her and move on.

If, OTOH, she gives me enough of a heads up so that I can pivot before I've burned my time then I'll give her another shot. Shit happens and sometimes a girl can just get cold feet. But a straight up last second bailout is one too many.

Two. You know the old saying, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

After all my years of PLing I’ve come to accept dancers for what they are (the good and the bad with the bad including flakation).

I’m not much of an OTCer but in general these days if I make plans with a dancer I assume it will not go thru and being aware of this I either have a backup plan from the get-go or I’m alright w/ it not going thru b/c it’s pretty-much part of dealing w/ most dancers – in part it’s a bit easier for me to take this attitude since I’m not into faves thus I don’t tend to invest too-much in any one dancer – now if I went thru a lot of trouble like renting a room and I’m waiting in the room and she flakes, then I’m less forgiving but I probably wouldn’t go thru all that trouble in the first place knowing that there’d be a good chance of her not showing up.

I kinda accept the fact that many of these girls have topsy-turvy lives and often are unable to have their own affairs in order thus I don’t expect them to have their affairs w/ me in order (even though $$$ is involved).

Thus I don’t have a specific # of chances I give her – to me it all falls under SS analogous to when a dancer on stage tells you “sure I’ll come by and see you” and you don’t see her for the rest of the night – that’s part of dealing w/ strippers and I accept it and don’t put all my PL-eggs in one stripper-basket – but I can see it being different for the PLs that are into a fave/specific dancer and most if not all of their mongering revolves around the one fave dancer.