Apparently It's Not A Two Way Street?

“Anyone ever gone through this?”

Every guy on this site it’s called the cost of tuition

@Ezk69

Your relationship with your CF has run its course.

It is the end of the infatuation period, you really get to know her , and she gets to know you.

Some relationships don't survive this period and “break up”.

Most here have “gone through this”.

Find a new Favorite and enjoy the process.

Oh how many posts have shown up like this from PLs over the years. They are always the same...OP, I'm not knocking you.

It's like this, stripper likes to talk to you, but doesn't want to talk to you all night. She has to wonder the room to make money too, but the minute you tip another girl (with her money, at least in her mind) then you're in trouble.

Not all strippers are like this, but a lot of them are.

She wants to be exclusive with your money. You're putting too much energy into it. You'll know when it's more than business, and won't have to ask strangers on a website what's going on. But whatever you do from here, have fun doing it. That's the whole point to a hobby, right?

@Ezk69 - walanon is right. Though occasionally connections between customers and dancers happen, they are rare.

If you want a glimpse into the thoughts of most strippers, check out stripperweb.com

Ok, someone needs to say it. This is not intended as to demean you. It's intended as constructive coaching:

Grow some balls. A CF is NOT a girl friend.

She is a stripper, you are a PL. That's it. You may prefer her over other strippers and she may (appear to) prefer you over other PL's, but that doesn't change either of your objectives. You want hot chicks rubbing your junk and paying adoring attention to you. She wants MONEY, hopefully without having to deal with assholes.

Nothing in your description of her behavior is out of alignment with her objective. When she dropped her level of (fake) devotion to you, it's because your behavior has shown her you are officially "her bitch." So she checks in and says nice things to you, then hustles off to get 'mo money' from other PL's knowing she can drain your wallet when the club slows down. If you go to a steak house, you don't expect your wait person to sit at your table and watch you eat, do you? No difference here.

You were absolutely correct to start spending time and money on other strippers. But when she tried to guilt you for it a better response by you would been "You were too busy for me so I moved on to that hottie over there. It's cool. You gotta make your night. So I'll go hang out with Candy/Tiffany/Aja/Diamond/etc. and maybe I'll have time for a dance with you later... if I still have any cash."

She will get the message. And while she's chewing on that and trying to figure out how to put you back in the "chump" zone, you'll be getting dances (and more?) from other strippers and spending "her" budgeted dollars on YOUR enjoyment.

"... If you go to a steak house, you don't expect your wait person to sit at your table and watch you eat, do you? No difference here ..."

LOL - one of the best PL/dancer analogies I've read 😝

Twentyfive - Guess it's the nature of the game

CJKent - That's unfortunate because It took real liking to her

Shallyn - Yeah once they start seeing the cash flowing elsewhere all of a sudden it's an "issue"

Wallanon - She needs to learn that it doesn't work that way or she'll defunded even further...lol

Wlnex - Our connection seemed sincere. She NEVER asked for tips like ever despite always putting her best foot forward in the past. Im not an asshole so I would still tip her generously but it seems that made her take me for me granted. Either way I have nothing bad to say about her. She's a very sweet girl and a wonderful human being. I don't hold any grudges against her it what it is. I find her behavior peculiar and juvenile but not with malice.

Herbtcat - That's my point she's not my gf so there shouldn't be any expectations of exclusivity from EITHER side. She's never been about money. She's NEVER asked me for a tip and I could tip her $1 or I could tip her $1,000 or anything in between and it wouldn't make a difference. She was always cool with, without, small tip, or big tip (pun not intended) and that's peculiar because it's a stripper's M.O. I appreciate your advice and agree that perhaps I was too nice to her and now she's begun to take me for granted and placed me in bad position (how she now perceives me). I don't agree with the steakhouse analogy though. To me strip clubs are more like high end residential complexes rather than steakhouses. High end residential complexes are staffed by concierge. As individuals each concierge has a different personality. So are more likable than others by the residents but all it really takes is to roll out the red carpet. The red carpet is the name of the game. Treat every single resident as if THEY are the most important person in the entire world. Of course if a resident is a disrespectful and tight waded asshole, that may not prove to be possible....BUT when a resident is polite (and this is the vast majority) and takes care of concierge really well ($$$$ tips) it is concierge's responsibility to maintain that level of satisfaction. Such professionalism literally pays off very well. Wealthy residents tend to remember even the smallest gestures by residential staff and WILL compensate them very well......As a result, concierge goes above and beyond for the most generous residents because they don't want to risk their tips. I feel the same concept for SCs but perhaps that's just too much logic for a dancer to fathom.

@Ezk69, the sharpest dancers are able to make you think that they are really into you.

Want to know how to tell if a stripper is really into you?

She will want to be with/around you in situations that don't involve money. Both in the club and out of the club. I've had it happen a few times. But far more times I have been with someone who is pleasant as long as there is money in it for them.

Winex....Many times that I've come into to see her she's implied that I'm there just to keep her company. Never pushes dances. That's what I don't get.....I don't get this girl I really don't.....

Have you ever gone to dinner, a movie, or a concert with her outside of work? (and again, for free?)

Has she ever come up to you in the club and told you she was leaving work early and asked you to met her at a (non-strip) bar?

Discount everything you hear in the club. It's called "stripper shit" for a reason.

I don’t know man, if you’re consistently spending hundreds of dollars on her every visit, she’s fucking up.

Also, what is the age gap?

To a young dancer, all middle aged and older PLs are creeps, unfortunately.

What @herbtcat said.

If you "think she has a good heart," and "she's never been about money," you're seeing your relationship as something other than customer and service provider. If she's "in shock" that you don't drop everything to be with her, if she's getting sarcastic and hurt that you're paying others, it's because she thought she was "exclusive" with you as her ATM.

Not only are you not anything more than a customer to her, but you never were. Don't take it personally; get up, dust yourself off, and find a new dancer or club.

Heck, that's all the more reason I don't do CFs/ATFs. In fact, if a girl thinks I'm her sure thing, I'll go out of my way to "spread the wealth." I won't be a spiteful jerk about it, I'll treat her just as warmly the next time I see her. And we all understand one another.

Wlnex.... I haven't asked....So I don't even know how she would feel about that? She's so confusing that I can't even speculate...

Bavarian....That's what I'm saying why would she fuck up something good? The age gap is 10 years.

Tetradon.....And perhaps it would've been that way had she not started acting the way she did. Overall I still feel like she's a magnificent person without a doubt...Her reaction also bothers me because it makes me feel bad. It makes me feel guilty because I realize that she's at her job. I don't intend to anchor her for her entire shift, I don't want her get that impression, and I don't want her job to become stressful....She has uniquely sunny disposition which most people don't have, she radiates positive energy, but somewhere along her life I get the impression that something went seriously wrong. I feel like there's perhaps a sad past and maybe dancing was her escape. So I'm dealing with feelings of a lot of guilt because it wasn't my intention to upset her. I wasn't trying to get a reaction out of her but apparently I got one and I honestly feel really bad about it.......But what was I supposed to do? When I started talking to other dances I just wanted to socialize. There's nothing else to do but just sit there and you can't even be on your phone. She was busy working and I totally get it but I was also there to enjoy myself....I wish she would realize that.

@Ezk I seriously doubt you have a real good read on a girl you have only met at her job a few times, you didn't upset her, if anything she's fucking with you, smart money would move on at this point, and have your fun with one of the other gals that isn't so much of a head case.

@Ezk - you summed up the situation in the title to this thread - Apparently it isn’t a two way street.

Only you should have ended it with a period instead of a question mark.

You fell in love with a stripper. She only liked your wallet.

Get over it.

Reading this thread makes me feel a strong sense of empathy for women working as strippers.

She’s just trying to earn a living

Get over it.

You seem emotionally invested in her. Otherwise you just wouldn’t give a shit and wouldn’t write a long post about it. I’d advise just move on and don’t dwell on it. If you can’t or wouldn’t, then admit that to yourself and do something about it.

“I still feel like she's a magnificent person without a doubt” “Her reaction also bothers me because it makes me feel bad. It makes me feel guilty” “She has uniquely sunny disposition which most people don't have” “she radiates positive energy,” “but somewhere along her life I get the impression that something went seriously wrong. I feel like there's perhaps a sad past” “I honestly feel really bad about it”

You are a customer. Not her friend. Not her favorite. Definitely not her knight in shining armor. Want emotional intimacy, date a non-professional.

You. Are. A. Customer.

The 1st question is what do you want from her or the SC scene in general?? Sounds like you want companionship, conversations, and somebody (presumably hot) to talk with. Nothing wrong with that if it's just that, and stops there.

If you're looking for real connection, look elsewhere, it's all fantasy. She doesn't ask for dances but yet you still tip her generously... think on it, it's transactional albeit informal. Quick test, don't tip as much, see how she responds.

NAAAASTY

If you haven't spent time outside the club with her and don't know her well enough that she remains a mystery, then I agree with what others have said. You are smitten with her and she may like you but there's no reason to fret about it as much as you are.

Your instincts to move on were right but the anguish over her feelings isn't right under current conditions. You can still be nice to her but I wouldn't get too concerned about her feeling at this point.

I have had the same CF where I go for a couple of years now. If she is busy I spend time with others. If she frees up while I am still there I do not blow off the dancer with whom I have been sitting. I am not anyone's exclusive customer and, nor is anyone I have danced with exclusively mine. In fact, if I like a dancer I am happy for them when they bank cash. If I win at poker great, I look forward to the next game. If I lose at poker, bummer, I look forward to the next game. Same with dancers. Thursday when my CF appeared busy I enjoyed going outside the box for a Blonde Milf with big fake ones. For me that's like a vegan eating a blood rare steak.

Since when is figuring out how a woman thinks/feels an exercise in logical deduction? LMAO.

It's simple. She was counting on you as a regular worth $x and became disappointed when you withheld your money. Maybe she did take it a little personally too since what she is selling is herself, which could have tinged her responses to you. Because this is a job for her but not for you, she might not completely see the two way street angle to it that you do.

Now that is not to say that she has become attached to you as a person, lol. It's of course about your money, but many of these girls sometimes view a customer's money and "loyalty" as a confirmation of their self worth. The reaction that comes about when a regular switches gears can look similar to that which happens when a girl had her feelings hurt for relationship reasons, which is why so many PL's easily confuse one for the other.

And sure, sometimes she may use you as a port in the storm on a slow night or when she just doesn't want to deal with assholes. Some managers bitch at girls who hide out in the DR too long, so they instead find a safe customer to sit with. Don't read too much into that either - it just means that she finds you to be non-threatening.

As many others have said, all you can do in these situations is move on and weather whatever hurt feelings come your way. She'll adjust soon enough.

enjoy a lot of dancers. i do that most everywhere. even if sex is involved i see and enjoy many girls IN THAT CLUB.

and tetradon says it well. YOU. ARE. A. CUSTOMER.

What kind of impotent little douche bag would call women hoes and yet call normal human beings misogynists. How do you spell progressive male? C U N T. That's you Icey and yes I assumed you are far too fucking stupid to figure it out on your own.