Oddball acts that ~technically~ isn’t cheating

11/30/2019 8:02:43 AM

Obviously, yes, what is considered cheating is very much up to individual relationships. For some couples, outright intercourse wouldn’t be cheating. For some, just merely meeting up for lunch with somebody of the opposite gender is. And there’s a lot of in between.

But what I’m interested in reading, are amusing examples where somebody decides to draw the line. Could be about a dancer, a friend, etc

——

I’ll start:

Recently, I was hanging out with a friend who I went to college with. We were talking about somebody from our social circle who is a male.

This guy has an on and off relationship with another female, who I have never met in person but I know what she looks like, because every time they are “on” he posts a photo of this individual. For the past year or two, whenever this couple is “off”—he and my friend will hook up as FWBs.

This dude got into the conversation somehow. I have him followed on social media and my friend does not. I mentioned that it seems he’s back with the same girl again—when it’s been a long time and I thought they really had been done with this time. This was recently he posted a pic with her.

A lightbulb went off in my friend’s head. She told me how recently she went salsa dancing, and he messaged her asking what she was doing. She invited him over (not expecting him to show up, because he’s a really flaky personality). But lo and behold he does, so she invites him to go back to her place. He says he’s tired so he can’t. So as far as she’s concerned, okay have a good night. And figured that would be the end of that.

But an hour after that conversation ends, she receives snapchats from him. He decided he was going to jerk off and he sent her video footage of it.

So when she figured out from me he got back with the same girlfriend, she put two-and-two together and realized he was motivated by not wanting to cheat.

In his mind, fucking=cheating. Sending sexually explicit snapchats=not cheating. We thought it was hilarious. 😂😂
——

I’m looking forward to these answers. This being a strip club message board, there *has* to be some really good stories from you guys.

30 comments

Latest

twentyfive

•

5 years ago

My view is if you can’t tell your SO about your outside relationships then it’s cheating really not technically
A better question to ask is can you live a compartmented life without consequences.

nicespice

•

5 years ago

^I agree, twentyfive. He’s probably just completely in the wrong. But it’s those twinges of one’s conscience being hurt that leads to the weirdest sense of boundaries and justifications for ones own behavior, and thus the best stories.

datinman

•

5 years ago

I've had more than one dancer tell me kissing was reserved for husband/boyfriend. BJ no problem, but kissing would be cheating. I guess every relationship sets it's own boundaries.
I had an ex-wife that thought internet porn was cheating. I never touched another women until after our divorce was final, never cheated even when we were separated, but she'll go to her grave convinced no man can be faithful.

crazyjoe

•

5 years ago

I have a buddy that goes to strip clubs and gets ldk's and otp hj and would never tell his wife about it, and he does not see that as cheating. If his wife were to do something as simple as have lunch with another guy he would call her a cheater.

shadowcat

•

5 years ago

It's not cheating if....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD6OLpp3…

MackTruck

•

5 years ago

^^^ you tried the peanut butter loop hole didnt you 🤣🤣🤣

MackTruck

•

5 years ago

Hahajahaj

Papi_Chulo

•

5 years ago

If you gotta keep your S.O. in the dark w.r.t. your activities then ...

FishHawk

•

5 years ago

Read this post this morning and I have been struggling with my feelings on the matter ever since. I have always kinda drawn the line at bare genitalia contact by either party. I can well see the argument that just hiding any behavior from your significant other is cheating. Being a member of this site can be considered cheating for me by that definition. Certainly lusting after nicespice and the other dancers would be cheating. I certainly will want to hide that from my wife. So far I am a cheat and haven’t even been in the same room with another woman. Going to an SC looking at half naked women and getting a lap dance even with low milage could be considered cheating. Getting an innocent hug by an attractive woman in my ukulele group might be. I won’t tell my wife about it she is jealous of that woman even though there is nothing going on there.

So am I a cheat. I guess I am. But I don’t feel particularly guilty. I just have to draw the line in a place where I don’t feel guilty.

Muddy

•

5 years ago

This is why it's best I stay single

nicespice

•

5 years ago

@fishhawk We all have flaws in one way or another. And I think the “impact” of ones own actions is less so during situations where a) the other party is doing something and either won’t admit it or has different standards for you or b) refuses to dole out intimacy themselves without allowances for compromise. touch is something listed on the Maslow hierarchy of needs for most people.

In other words, I don’t think there’s a need to beat yourself up over it. I made this thread more for the amusement sake than asking one to self-reflect

rickdugan

•

5 years ago

=== "If you gotta keep your S.O. in the dark w.r.t. your activities then ... "

...you're cheating. Just own it.

FishHawk

•

5 years ago

@ nicespice. I do understand that your post was to look at the funny ways different people draw the line. It just made me think and reflect. For once I agree with the Rick. I am a cheat. I just don’t feel particularly guilty.

Now I just need a pretty young woman to help me understand how flexible my line is.

Any volunteers?😛

MackTruck

•

5 years ago

^^^ lmao

georgmicrodong

•

5 years ago

Knew a girl who would blow me, but not let me cum in her mouth, because that would be cheating.

One we've probably all heard at one point; a girl who will fuck and suck any dick that walks into the club, but not kiss, because that would be cheating.

As for me, lying is cheating, because that was the promise I made. Nothing else I can think of off the top of my head.

gSteph

•

5 years ago

Lap dances - OK, anything more - cheating.

And no lying about it, cause I agree with georg.

san_jose_guy

•

5 years ago

Nicespice, you told us a while ago that many married couples start having less and less sex, and that often it is the wife who pushed this desexualiztion.

Can you tell us more about this, how do you know about this, what is your source, and why do you think this happens?

SJG

Nidan111

•

5 years ago

I guess the question for me is ... at what point is “cheating “ bad? My story is two fold.

My ex wife threw my ass out of the house, drained my fucking bank account and kept my kids from me for 6 months because she caught me watching the Playboy channel at 2 am after 17 years of marriage. She said I was cheating on her.

My new wife is 20 years younger and I busted in on her fucking someone her own age. She was definitely “cheating”. I forgave her and made a pact. I know she has her needs and I have mine. When those needs are to be met with lust outside our relationship, then we are to satisfy those needs and simply dump that need when satisfied, but NOT tell the SO.

I Meet my needs as often as I need. She does as well. Are we “cheating” on one another. Probably so, but it does not affect our relationship.

There have also been several women that I would have really enjoyed “cheating” with, but I will never engage unless the women of desire engages FIRST. She may never even know my desire. I can keep such desire pent up. If she engages and I am up for such engaging, then “cheating “ will most definitely occur WITHOUT REMORSE.

Cashman1234

•

5 years ago

I think it’s important for couples who want to commit to have a discussion about what defines cheating.

For some it’s a minor offense - but others might think only penetration is cheating. There’s lots in between.

twentyfive

•

5 years ago

I think most guys know that cheating is whatever their SO thinks it is.

gawker

•

5 years ago

I had a “date” last night and received the following text before getting to her apartment:

So - I know you and I made arrangements to involve ourselves in physical activities tonight - but I want to specifically say which activities I’m actually about tonight - only because there is this guy I’m seeing that - I am sexually active with and so because of that I’m not interested in having actual sex - anything else I’m fine with - just not the actual sex part you know - only because I just don’t want to cross that line with this other person -

Sure enough - DATY, BBBJCIM, body massage, but no fucking. Ok, I understand, but only cuz I’m 47 years older the I

Jascoi

•

5 years ago

definitely EVERYTHING what i do now would be cheating in the eyes of my ex.

whodey

•

5 years ago

I had a dancer tell me once that anything she did for money at the club (she did everything except bbfs) was fine since it was just part of her "business" but she wouldn't meet OTC because that would be cheating on her husband since she was not at work.

magicrat

•

5 years ago

whodey,

I had a favorite that looked at things the same way. She would give (me at least) bjs and fs itc but I couldn't get her to meet otc because she was married. They did split up a couple years ago but I've lost touch with her.

FishHawk

•

5 years ago

More in spirit with the amusing side of the OP. Many years ago when I was in the Navy stationed in DC. We had an annual Christmas Party. Party organizers emphasized that no spouses and encouraged as many unattached young women from the various offices were invited. This was way before the PC climate we have today. One young lady who was sexy and pretty was awestruck by being at a party with all these Naval Officers. I danced with her a bit and when there was a slow dance she was so close she almost climbed inside my pants. One of the other woman saw my distress and cut in. Anyway this young lady was a devout Catholic and she felt it was a sin to use birth control, but apparently sex was OK in her mind. She went home with one of the civilian men there and ended up pregnant. As tempting as the situation was I am glad I avoided her advances.

san_jose_guy

•

5 years ago

Anything which is cheating in spirit, is cheating.

If you don't like that, then don't get married.

SJG

TrollWarnBot

•

5 years ago

WARNING - The following accounts are considered to be forum trolls and may not be trustworthy:

san_jose_guy - Commonly referred to as SJG this forum member may have some sort of mental illness and is usually mocked or ignored. SJG has a long history of posting incendiary comments including being pro-rape. His comments should NOT be taken in any way as legitimate.

herbtcat

•

5 years ago

Some observations after reading this post and comments:

1. Big thanks to President Bill Clinton for defining SEX as intercourse and not a blow job. It blows my mind (pun intended) to say that I did not have sex with a woman as she is wiping my jizz off her chin... but there you go.

2. If you never agree to a monogamous relationship, you cannot, by definition, cheat. Having said that, even in a non-monogamous relationship, discretion is a very good idea - unless your partner is a true voyeur, or can genuinely experience a sense of compersion when you have sex with someone else (look up polyamory + compersion for info).

3. To paraphrase a landmark Supreme Court ruling: "I don't think I can define cheating, but I know it when I see it."

So as others have suggested: If you think you are cheating, you are. If you think your SO will think you are cheating, you are.

Estafador

•

5 years ago

Wth? Did he initially want to fuck and then got cold feet? Either way he's a weirdo all around. Instead of smashing his fwb or his girlfriend, he masturbates? Your right, he is weird.

FishHawk

•

5 years ago

@heaving, that’s a great video. Never saw it before but it reminds me of the time I was in the Navy Construction Battalion in San Diego. We were having a softball game and picnic. Some of the CPO’s invited a few strippers to come to the event. They came wearing shorts and looked very sexy. We asked our Commodore to come and he was wearing his uniform. One of the Chief’s introduced the ladies to the Commodore and he did the proper thing and saluted them.

You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now

Got something to say?

Start your own discussion