Follow up

Sounds like you need to find a new atf. Why not just take your $250 and head to a Providence club for a sure thing?

If a hoe isnt willing to meet halfway or send you gas money at least, she isn't worth it. 100 mile drive for a "maybe", that's beyond idiotic

@gawker, did you consider hitting a nearby club as your plan B?

You should take a trip to German FKK clubs. The initial cost to get there is high, but you find 80 to 100 beautiful European girls available to you at a low price. And they never flake on you.

^^ I would have hit up one of the PVD clubs after making that drive

Sorry it didn’t work out. If you have a story like this, it just emphasizes the unpredictability and uncertainty of any OTC

OTC really is a big gamble

Once the dancer flaked I too would have returned home, there is always tomorrow to have fun.

I remember the original post, this was no ordinary OTC, so nothing wrong in just cutting your losses, returning home, and having some SCing fun another day.

We talk a lot about the financial cost of OTC and similar activities on here. But I think the time and attention spent is often a bigger issue. Generally we can afford our entertainment in our activities here. But no amount of wealth will ever bring back the time spent.

And maybe gawker’s story seems more time consuming or frustrating than most of us would allow. But I think that would be just a matter of degree. We have all sorts of posts on here about waiting for the hottie to emerge from the dressing room, time and effort put in scouting on SA, disappointing club visits, failed OTC, general flakiness and so forth.

Mongering seems like a unique thing. If I go fishing but the fish aren’t biting well, I’m disappointed but still feel glad that I spent the time fishing. But while I know opinions will vary on this here, the time and effort spent in pursuit of sexual thrills often seems a waste in hindsight, at least for me. When that thought occurs to me, hopefully I notice it and spend more time fishing or training my bird dog but often I admit that’s more aspirational than it is reality for me to do so.

^ Hunt, I agree about the time. I'm very busy with work and family and I'd much rather lose a few bucks than have my limited time wasted, which is why I never advance plan outings with strippers. Two days is like two weeks in stripper time - anything can happen. Each night I go to the clubs, I know that OTC may or may not be in the cards. The difference is that, even if it doesn't happen, I still had a decent night out for reasonable cash.

But gawker is a retiree with pretty much nothing else to do, so the calculus is a bit different for him. I'm sure it sucked donkey ass to be stuck in that traffic, but he could always DVR his Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune episodes. Though if I had already driven that far, I might have grabbed a room for the night and enjoyed everything the PVD clubs had to offer, but he might be conserving resources for his next OTC opportunity.

Huntsman... Well said.

I would give the single mom the benefit of the doubt.

I have dated single moms and kids are going to almost always be first. And yes babysitters are mostly women and sometimes life happens.

One of my first OTC dates brought her kid because the babysitter didn’t show up. When there where no cellphones to let me know. We did go to dinner and had a nice time like a family. She really appreciated me being OK with it and the subsequent OTC were really nice.

“You teach people how to treat you.”

I suggest that you tell the girl (stripper or sugar baby or civilian) what you need/want regarding being on time and or letting each other know in advance (this is the key to no get upset, enough advance notice) if anything changes or you have to reschedule.

Communication is the key and you decide if you should give her the chance to change her behavior.

Now days with cellphones is even easier to let each other know if you are going to be late.

Make sure she understands that having people waiting for no reason, is a power trip, is disrespectful and you would be wasting their time, and time/life is one of the most valuable things.

Make sure that you let her know that you prioritize reliability above almost all other traits as you search for a lasting relationship with an ATF.

My last FAV and I will agree to meet for VIP and was never late, if something came up we would let the other know and reschedule accordingly. One the best girls I have had the pleasure, she texted me one last time to let me know she was moving and tanked me for the good times

fuck...

Gawks,

Holy shit, 5 hours roundtrip of driving, to meet a stripper who you know has a kid and therefore might not make it... that is a decision I might not have made!

Gawker probably has his reasons for not doing so but had it been me, as soon as I learned she wasn't coming, I'd have headed over to Desire and had a good time anyway.

I think I would be so frazzled and furious after a 3-hour drive through heavy traffic, my mood might be ruined for another SC trip. Three hours in traffic is pretty emotionally fatiguing -- although I particularly hate driving, maybe some of you guys would shrug it off

You’re all correct and raise good points. I’ll call her Sugar. Four years ago my ATF had left the state for 3 months. Sugar was a new dancer to me and her look and demeanor fascinated me. I spent a month trying to talk her into extras ITC and finally got a HJ and DATY. She was marvelous and I had to have her. I paid an exorbitant amount and spent several hours at her apartment. She didn’t want P4P but I did spend money on her but also gained access like a friend. We had sex about 10 to 12 times and my ATF returned to the same club. I tried balancing the two, but it was awkward and expensive. Sugar was a full GFE, was younger, swallowed, and would occasionally initiate play leading to sex and other times might say I don’t feel like it. Let’s play chess instead. Just like a real relationship. My ATF gave the best head I’d ever had or ever will. In fact she says she heard that from dozens of customers. She was straight P4P and had several regular OTC customers.
Then Sugar moved away. Further than I wanted to drive regularly. She had a baby. I took her & the baby to lunch one time. We texted maybe once a month. Then out of
The blue, a couple of new photos and a text, “still interested in dirty girls like me? I suggested dinner and picked a very nice restaurant. I don’t know if she wants P4P now. I don’t “ know where her head is at”. Can we just pick up where we were several years ago? I honestly don’t think last night was intentional , but I think it’s an indicator that it wasn’t a priority. I’ll go to see her at the club where she’s dancing and leave it up to her. I thought about going to a club in that area but Subraman nailed it. I wouldn’t have enjoyed it.

I feel your pain, gawker. I've made that long drive, only to turn around and head home when she no-showed or cancelled at the last minute. It's happened to me more than once, and with both OTC's and Sugar's.

It's more than the time lost, and more than the frustration of unfulfilled desires. It's that I take fair bit of time to plan, shift other events on my schedule, perhaps make reservations for dinner and hotels, and of course, I push other opportunities down on my priorities list.

What I've learned form these disappointments:

1. Always have a back up plan - even if it's go home and indulge in self-love.

2. Only locals, or she comes to me. You need to define "local" for yourself. For me it's no more than a 30 minute drive. Better yet, let her drive/Uber/skateboard/walk to me. I have an advantage over some here in that I'm single, live alone in a house, and I work from a home office. I always offer to host and love the idea of ordering pussy delivery just like I can have DoorDash deliver lunch to my door.

3. Stay in touch. After you've planned and confirmed, watch out for radio silence. One of the red flags of a no-show I've seen is that she stops responding to my messages within 24 hours of our scheduled start time. The closer I get to my go time (the time I need to get in my car) with no responses, the more my messages start to hint (then state) that I'm going to cancel if she doesn't reply. I had one SB in the Bay Area in Nor Cal that did this to me. We had met the previous weekend for dinner and a steamy make out session in my car. We planned on a 2-day wine tasting trip the following weekend. I researched wineries that she would like, made a non-cancellable hotel reservation (because it was cheaper, but still expensive!) and lunch & dinner reservations as well. On Saturday morning, I left my place at 5:00 am to be at her place at 7:30 am. The plan was to head north to wine country and start tasting after breakfast. When I got to her place I texted. No answer. I waited 5 mins and texted again. Repeated this 3 more times. Then I called - 4 times. Straight to voice mail and her mail box was full. I got out of my car and walked around, but she had never given me her unit number. After an hour, I left one more text that I was heading home and I left. Two days later she texted me: "Oh! I partied late the night before and fell asleep. And my phone battery was dead, too. Can we try again this weekend?" No.

Total cost full cost of the hotel room (about $425) a tank of gas and extra blood pressure meds for two days.

Overall, I'd say my success rate in long-distance hook ups is around 35%. So unless I have another reason to travel to her area, it's a pass.

"Let’s play chess instead."


Gawker, that is something no stripper has ever said to me and I hope none ever will.

Gawker: I assume you are referring to the dancer that I know. She was there Tuesday and Thursday evenings.

I don’t like to kiss & tell to another who knows her, so I won’t confirm but you’re getting warm.

In reviewing my prior post I have determined I need a few days off from work as that post was inappropriate.