PL’s with SO’s how do you keep it on the DL...

23 comments

• dirtysecrets

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  5 years ago

  You CAN do text messages in Google Voice. Other than that, I do the same things you mentioned, always using incognito mode. It's a very small price to pay when compared to a divorce.
• Nidan111

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  5 years ago

  Well. I simply let her do her secret things while I do mine. I never creep on her phone and I always let her “have breakfast” with her male pals. I trust that she loves me even if she plays around. I have told her so a few years ago when I walked in on her and her “friend”. She doesn’t creep on me and I don’t creep on her. We have a very solid relationship. Other than that, just keep doing what you are doing, but be ready for the time you get busted.... because it WILL HAPPEN!
• Subraman

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  5 years ago

  Yep, google voice for texting, with notifications turned off. I haven't done it, but there are "app locker" apps, that force you to use your fingerprint to unlock certain apps. alternatively, On android phones, there are multiple users, and you presumably you could transition to the other user to go on your browser.
• PaulDrake

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  5 years ago

  The best way to do it is with a samsung phone. With that you can have essentially a whole second secret phone hidden inside your phone. Samsung calls it secure folder. You can have a whole second set of apps locked away.
• AnonymousJim

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  5 years ago

  Incognito Mode is a must for this sort of thing. It's not the be-all and end-all if you're paranoid that the NSA is listening. I wouldn't use it on my work computer. But if your SO isn't tech savvy, it's good enough there.
  
  Call me crazy, but I don't "do this" to get away from my SO. I like my SO. My SO and I are great together, including sexually. I just like variety. I looked at Tiger Woods and was like; "Pfft, amateur." I'm probably more addicted to sex than he ever was.
  
  The thing is, while yes, the SO doesn't know, she has a lot of trust in me. Whether or not she should is another story. But she kinda knows I'm a dog and if she ever did find out, it wouldn't exactly be inconsistent with my personality.
  
  If she really wanted to dig through my phone, she'd find dancer texts and phone numbers and whatnot. However:
  
  A) She'd have to work a little, which she might not be savvy enough to do
  
  B) She trusts me enough not to do that
  
  Keep your lady satisfied and you'd be surprised what you can do with your free time. I'm not running around trying to find other long-term options. I'm not dissatisfied with her. But, I do like variety. So do I go to random bars and make it known to anyone and everyone in town that I'm looking for someone other than her? No. I pay for the privacy of doing this, usually at least an hour's drive away from our residential vicinity, behind closed doors, with women with whom I can end the relationship after as little as one song, because then, I get what I want (variety) while she gets what she wants (I still come home to her and am still seen as a stand-up guy). I'm careful in how I go about getting my variety in part because I care about her and want her and everyone she knows to fully believe she's getting what she wants. And, as far as anyone other than you folks know ... she is. And I'm just an AnonymousJim to all of you.
  
  I'm there for her when she needs me. When it's 10 o'clock on Saturday night, I'm working my night job and she is probably too tired from her weekend work, she doesn't need me, and curiosity alone is going to lead me to a club sometimes. But she comes first when she does need me. As such, she lets me handle my stuff however I do.
• jackslash

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  5 years ago

  Kick the bitch to the curb. Then you're free to do what you want.
• rickdugan

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  5 years ago

  I own a business, which means that I have bank accounts and electronics that are separate from the personal versions. Honestly I'd probably have to work a lot harder at it if I didn't have this advantage.
• twentyfive

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  5 years ago

  You haven’t lived till you have sex rodeo style, what is sex rodeo style you ask?
  That’s where you tell your wife of gf this is how we do it in the strip club and hang on for dear life. Lol
• DeclineToState

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  5 years ago

  You can set auto login username and password for incognito web browsing of sites like this, but (at least on iPhone) the fact you have auto login for the site will be visible in your settings.
• Subraman

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  5 years ago

  Decline: I use Enpass on my phone, as my password vault. There's a mode where it automatically fills in passwords for websites or apps, but you have to re-authenticate with Enpass using your fingerprint each time. So, if you use this:
  
  - Since the browser is in incognito, no one can see tuscl in your history
  - Since the password is stored in Enpass, no one can tell there's an auto login for tuscl...
  - ... unless they happen to type tuscl.net into your browser, in which case a little enpass window will pop up, and if you touch the fingerprint sensor, it will fill out the login information. Since SO doesn't have your fingerprint, she won't be able to see if the credentials work. Hell, there's a 99% chance she has no idea that the little Enpass window means there's autofill information available
  
  I think the risk of doing it this way is extra low. No one's SO knows about, or is going to randomly type, tuscl.net into the browser.
  
  Paul's Samsung secure folder mode is probably the single best solution. On my google Pixel (though I think it may be a standard android option) I think adding another user and doing all your sexy browsing there is a fine idea. Most SOs won't even know a second account is possible to set up on your phone, much less know how to switch over to it
• prevert

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  5 years ago

  I divorce her cunt ass.
• Clubber

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  5 years ago

  Simple, have an IT illiterate SO.
• gSteph

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  5 years ago

  Deception (not leaving a trail) is stressful. She knows I strip club occasionally, and is OK with it.
  
  I do use incognito mode to browse here, so my phone history isn't lots of tuscl browsing.
• DeclineToState

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  5 years ago

  Thank you Subra, excellent info, much appreciated
• booji boy

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  5 years ago

  To those who think incognito mode hides your habits, think again. Trackers work just fine in incognito mode (for example, see here: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/07/19…
  
  If you want to be more careful on your phone, get a phone with two SIM slots and a second SIM. Save your contacts on that SIM. Create a second account on the phone and only use it with the second SIM.
  
  Those who think Chrome or Voice are privacy focused should consider the fact that they're made by a company that monetizes the information they collect on your browsing habits.
  
• skibum609

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  5 years ago

  Sounds cheaper and easier to have a SO with whom you can be honest. I don't even wash up after strip clubbing.
• booji boy

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  5 years ago

  True. Covering your tracks is a losing proposition in the long run IMO. Something will break.
• AtAboy

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  5 years ago

  Second what gStepg said. My SO knows about SCing.
  However not about tuscl. I use the private browser mode on Safari. So I don’t check or post on here when my SO is around.
• AnonymousJim

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  5 years ago

  There's something to be said, too, for hiding in plain sight.
  
  My phone has fewer security settings set on it than my much less tech-savvy SO. I have a ton of work contacts such that dancers' names just kind of fade into the din. I work with people from all over; different area codes don't trip anyone's trigger. And so on.
  
  She'd really have to go digging. And she has no reason to.
  
  If you don't act suspicious, no one will become suspicious. Play it cool, gentlemen.
• Electronman

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  5 years ago

  We have separate lap tops (with sign in security), separate phones and separate bank accounts. Much of my clubbing is during business trips.
  
  BTW, Firefox is supposedly much better than Chrome for privacy.
• Subraman

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  5 years ago

  -->"My phone has fewer security settings set on it than my much less tech-savvy SO. I have a ton of work contacts such that dancers' names just kind of fade into the din. I work with people from all over; different area codes don't trip anyone's trigger. And so on."
  
  I did the same for contacts. They all got names I could recognize -- I "civilianized" their first names and gave a last name that meant something for me. E.g., Porsche from Gold Club might become Paula d'Oro. In my mixed business-and-personal contact list, several hundred people long, this contact became buried.
  
  I also had with my ex- the general protocol that we both had security on our phones, and generally didn't touch each others' phones without permission. The security made sense -- we both had financial apps on our phones. And not touching each others' phones without permission is a basic respect thing for me; similarly to how I don't go messing with her purse without permission
• txgolfer

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  5 years ago

  Burner phone!
• kenrodchitown

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  5 years ago

  How has no one discussed silent notifications yet? The text messages show up, but you don't get the *ding*. If you check your phone reasonably often and archive your conversations, it will be hard to find unless someone digs through each contract in your book. And you should employ Subraman's naming technique.