Been seeing this girl for a few months (not dating, just visiting her in the club getting dances) and with a straight face says "when i met you i was really depressed but after getting to know you im not anymore". WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? I might actually believe this. Craziest thing I've ever heard. Scary and intriguing at the same time.
Maybe she was depressed because she wasn't making enough money before she met you. But with you looking like a regular (income) in the making she's starting to feel better (about her money situation) now.
We deal with human beings and who knows? Maybe some things you've said made her feel better. But human beings have nuance, so even if it's at least partly true she could still be using it to hustle you. ;)
Anything is possible in this life. You never know what will happen next.
Sometimes, all a depressed person needs is a friendly person that can hang out, listen, be there, without having to do anything special.
She believes that she has gotten to know you, or at least the part of you that you disclose in the strip club, also the fact that she appears to be a fav of yours.
You don’t say that she is the only girl you see there or if you spend more time with her than others. In any case is up to you if you want to be other than a “regular in love”
Just be careful if you want the move this to OTC, she might want to be just “friends” without benefits.
You might want to be friends with benefits, it is a matter of being in the same page at the same time.
Like others have already mentioned, chances are she and you have some “baggage” regarding “traditional” relationships.
If you are into OTC P4P, mention it in a respectful way “would you be interested in having dinner and having fun outside the club”, “we can both get/do more and would eliminate the middle man “the club”, win win”; “we can do things we both will be completely comfortable with” etc etc etc.
If you have developed some trust and you can make her laugh and feel comfortable and secure you can even ask her out on a real date (dineer, a movie and perhaps become a boyfriend with the benefits that that relationship provides)
Just remember if she is out of your league outside the club, she is out of your league...
If you don play the game you can’t win or lose.
Please let us know what happens so we can learn from your experience.
Many of these girls have topsy-turvy lives and us PLs may be the most, if not only, normal/positive thing in their lives.
Having said this - I take it w/ a grain of PL-salt - I put this pretty-much in the same category as how happy they are when we spend well on them - i.e. they are happy and may appreciate what we do for them, but it's about what we do for *them* - we are a means-to-an-end, a means to get what they want/need, and 99% of the time the PL is not what they really-want, the PL is just a good-means to get them thru their current topsy-turvy phase.
Could you date-her - decent chance you could - but IMO not everyone is cut-out to date a stripper - way more to it than just getting-laid - if one just wants a fling, then yeah date a stripper as long as one knows what it's about - if one wants an S.O./serious-relationship, a stripper is usually a losing-proposition for the avg PL - IMO many dancers that "date" custies outside the club, it's pretty-much just an extension of the ITC "relationship" - i.e. they "date" the PL as a means-to-an-end to get them then thru a phase and on to the next sucker after him, w/ an exception here and there - i.e. dancers that date custies is often to get more from them more consistently - it's known as the Daddillac paradox.
It could be sincere (to some degree) and still be a hustle. Dancers spend most of their working hours trying to make conversations with guys they don't know at all and in many cases would not talk to at all outside the context of a strip club.
I'm convinced that some of them hit a point in their shift where they just start saying all the words in their heads.
Don’t believe it. She’s a stripper, she’s not qualified to diagnose anyone’s depression. At best, she had a brief moment where she didn’t feel ashamed and miserable, and she took advantage of the opportunity to say something manipulative to you. She sounds like a real peach.
Total SS. I can’t imagine a situation in which a customer who just sees a dancer once in awhile could actually impact her mental health beyond the temporary elation that comes with giving her money.
You can believe what she said but in my experience women speak another language and sometimes we will never be able to figure it out and then add the stripper rederic and you are screwed (not in the preferred monger way).
Recently I had a dancer where I almost became her therapist. After a few weeks of her talking through this difficult part of her life she expressed a lot of gratitude as she didn't have any friends she felt comfortable talking to (about this specific issue). All of that was genuine but it doesn't mean at all that we are now going to be real friends or lovers.
To the OP - Just because you have some genuine connection with this person doesn't mean at all that she wants to date you.
My CF has confided in me, telling me about a very difficult family situation and said she feels better after talking to me about it. I think it's because, who am I going to tell? I am sort of like a therapist to her since I have no reason to tell anyone the details of what she said.
So, what are you going to do from here? See where it goes, or leave it as an ITC type of thing?
@PD
Did anything happen after the therapy sessions? Did it lead to something else yet )or not)?
@cowboy
Same to you, after your cf confided in you, did it lead to something else?
The reasons I ask, is I may have found myself in a similar spot and I’m trying to figure it out. It ain’t easy for sure. SS....just when you thought you’ve heard seen it all.....
PLs are NOT the most normal thing in their lives. If anything, they do their best to not think about the men at work once their shifts end. I have never in my life seen a stripper say anything about a PL like how great it was seeing someone or whatever.
If she likes a guy he'll know it. Does she want to see you outside the club? That's the real thing, whether she lets you be a part of her life and then, what boundaries and walls does she put up.
23 comments
Latest
Or you have a cheerful disposition. Positivity rubs off on people
Anything is possible in this life. You never know what will happen next.
Sometimes, all a depressed person needs is a friendly person that can hang out, listen, be there, without having to do anything special.
She believes that she has gotten to know you, or at least the part of you that you disclose in the strip club, also the fact that she appears to be a fav of yours.
You don’t say that she is the only girl you see there or if you spend more time with her than others. In any case is up to you if you want to be other than a “regular in love”
Just be careful if you want the move this to OTC, she might want to be just “friends” without benefits.
You might want to be friends with benefits, it is a matter of being in the same page at the same time.
Like others have already mentioned, chances are she and you have some “baggage” regarding “traditional” relationships.
If you are into OTC P4P, mention it in a respectful way “would you be interested in having dinner and having fun outside the club”, “we can both get/do more and would eliminate the middle man “the club”, win win”; “we can do things we both will be completely comfortable with” etc etc etc.
If you have developed some trust and you can make her laugh and feel comfortable and secure you can even ask her out on a real date (dineer, a movie and perhaps become a boyfriend with the benefits that that relationship provides)
Just remember if she is out of your league outside the club, she is out of your league...
If you don play the game you can’t win or lose.
Please let us know what happens so we can learn from your experience.
Thank you.
Having said this - I take it w/ a grain of PL-salt - I put this pretty-much in the same category as how happy they are when we spend well on them - i.e. they are happy and may appreciate what we do for them, but it's about what we do for *them* - we are a means-to-an-end, a means to get what they want/need, and 99% of the time the PL is not what they really-want, the PL is just a good-means to get them thru their current topsy-turvy phase.
Could you date-her - decent chance you could - but IMO not everyone is cut-out to date a stripper - way more to it than just getting-laid - if one just wants a fling, then yeah date a stripper as long as one knows what it's about - if one wants an S.O./serious-relationship, a stripper is usually a losing-proposition for the avg PL - IMO many dancers that "date" custies outside the club, it's pretty-much just an extension of the ITC "relationship" - i.e. they "date" the PL as a means-to-an-end to get them then thru a phase and on to the next sucker after him, w/ an exception here and there - i.e. dancers that date custies is often to get more from them more consistently - it's known as the Daddillac paradox.
I'm convinced that some of them hit a point in their shift where they just start saying all the words in their heads.
Every. Single. One.
Enjoy the experience without the drama.
To the OP - Just because you have some genuine connection with this person doesn't mean at all that she wants to date you.
I think it's because, who am I going to tell? I am sort of like a therapist to her since I have no reason to tell anyone the details of what she said.
So, what are you going to do from here? See where it goes, or leave it as an ITC type of thing?
@PD
Did anything happen after the therapy sessions? Did it lead to something else yet )or not)?
@cowboy
Same to you, after your cf confided in you, did it lead to something else?
The reasons I ask, is I may have found myself in a similar spot and I’m trying to figure it out. It ain’t easy for sure. SS....just when you thought you’ve heard seen it all.....
...wait not did I really say that?!?!
If she likes a guy he'll know it. Does she want to see you outside the club? That's the real thing, whether she lets you be a part of her life and then, what boundaries and walls does she put up.