tuscl

Absolute (And Correct) Attire, Pants, Underwear, etc., for a Lap Dance

Monday, January 7, 2019 10:14 PM
After reading through numerous comments from "the Best Attire for a Lap Dance", I've lost all faith in the imagination of the fully developed male mind. Really guys? Really? So far the best fathomable clothing would probably be Liquid Lap Dance pants, if they still existed. Well, how about the next best thing? You're going to immediately know this is what you should wear for the best bang for your buck. Nobody cares what you wear up top, but like shoes, it would help to attract attention efficiently with something you know, nice. With a collar perhaps, I prefer flannel. Now if you kept reading, than you deserve the treasure that cums next: Okay pants, best I've discovered so far is golf pants. They're light, strippers don't complain since they're soft. Plus, they're dressy. Don't wear jeans or sweatpants. You look like a jerkwad. Underneath, you're not wearing underwear... you're wearing latex. Have you heard of latex cock sheath briefs? It's a BDSM type of clothing, except you're not going to use it for that nonsense (or do, I don't care). Get the ones that are chlorinated if you can, makes them softer. You fill the inside with lube, squeeze out excess air & you're off to the races. Your cock is extremely liberated and it tends to make the strippers a tad curious since they can tell something is different but have no idea what. Best part is, you will not leak everywhere when you blow your load, which you will. You're welcome.

19 comments

  • TrapBaby304
    •
    5 years ago
    you must have a lot of time on your hands.
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    5 years ago
    Wasn’t there some company that sold something like this? I could swear that lapdanceking82 wrote several threads about some sort of pre-lubed lap dance briefs. Or you could take a page out of the juicebox69 playbook and just apply lube and wrap yourself in cellophane before clubbing. My understanding is that juicebox69 like to use Arby’s sauce as lube, but that strategy is only for people operating at his level. Start out with something less adventurous, like grape jelly or Chobani yogurt! Enjoying lap dances the juicebox69 way is inexpensive and fun. It’s brilliant! ;)
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    5 years ago
    Joking aside ELluchador, I think there is a specific product for enjoying lap dances that is basically what you describe, but marketed for lap dances. I can’t remember the name, perhaps somebody else can.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    5 years ago
    This has been talked about dozens of times. Use the search function.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    I think a stripper will appreciate jeans more than a latex cock sheath.....
  • Cashman1234
    •
    5 years ago
    I’m not an LDK type - but I agree regarding golf pants. They are a much better alternative than black wool dress pants (for those who club after working in an office). They are soft - flexible - and machine washable - and they look a lot like dress pants. As far as that banana hammock filled with lube and jizz - and chlorine - I’m not going there! Lol!
  • ELluchador
    •
    5 years ago
    Yea, it was Liquid Lap Dance Pants.... I literally put it in the first paragraph of my original post. The company went belly up as far as I can tell, which is unfortunate since it is my understanding that there was a ton of research that went into that product. It stands to reason if I'm right about the golf pants, mayybe I'm right about the "underpants". Please offer alternatives, but if you're going to insist that wearing a polo & jeans looking like your mommy still lays out your clothes in the morning for you than respectfully bow out of this conversation. Let the men talk. Clearly, nobody looked into what I was talking about before responding. GO SEARCH LATEX COCK SHEATH. There's guys on here talking about condoms. What is a condom made of? Latex. But the condoms doesn't cover enough so I wrap my entire bottom torso in cellophane filled with Arby's sauce. HaHa what the hell?! A latex cock sheath is briefs, made entirely of latex, that has a long latex sheath that encompasses your glory swell. So it covers you like underwear, which is probably the effect being attempted with cellophane wrap. That's not next level, that's child's play. I'm trying to take you to the championship & your telling me about your JV practice. As far as concerns regarding the chlorine treatment, what have you never been in a pool before? You don't have to get the chlorine treated ones, they come untreated. I have both kinds, the difference is noticeable but not inhibitory. The key word is 'treated' mind you. It's not filled with chlorine.... In regard to the claim I have too much time on my hands, I actually had the opposite problem. When you go from undergrad straight into graduate school and have to read 10 plus textbooks, tons of work, etc., while working 1 or 2 jobs, you simply don't have time to chase "quality" girls down. I'm admittedly not Brad Pitt, so yes I had to try. In that context, strip clubs are simply a more efficient way to get ya primal urges out of your system so you can get back to work. After 7 years of college, repeating this process many many times, I learned a thing or two. So check it out, Latex Cock Sheath. They cost roughly $40 for a pair. Just try it. A little foot note here; we can all admit that the lap dancing skill level varies from stripper to stripper. You may find a young inexperienced stripper more attractive but she isn't quite doing the trick. Or she's teasing you intentionally to get more dances out of you. This works on every stripper, usually takes 3 to 5 very enjoyable dances. Of course I've had it only take 2 with your standard attire (no latex sheath), but the stripper had been dancing for years and I had to rush out of the club with jizz stains all over my pants. Like I said, I'm trying to take you to the championship. Not just get the job done, but do it right. Honestly, might actually delay the climax an extra dance. However, the entirety of the experience will be much much MUCH more pleasant. Now I find myself enjoying the intermissions, you know those periods of time when the stripper pauses to do the charleston or a kickflip or whatever the do in order to slow you down. Plus if you are genuinely concerned about diseases, which is very unlikely, not a bad idea to put a hardy layer of latex between you and dat azz. That's why medical, food service and janitorial professionals wear latex gloves, for protection. In the future, is it possible if guys could respond who have actually tried it or know of something that may actually be conceivably superior to the technique describe? Let's hear some brands, let's hear of what you put inside the sheath besides the D. Let's iron this thing out. So try it.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    5 years ago
    ... huh...
  • pistola
    •
    5 years ago
    What's wrong with jizz stains on your pants? For some it's a badge that says you're doing it right.
  • MackTruck
    •
    5 years ago
    I just out the lube on the outside of my pants. Tha usually works best. No more sticky pants for me
  • Liwet
    •
    5 years ago
    It's not "just" golf pants, it has to be RAIN WEATHER golf pants. The idea is that they keep liquids on the outside (rain) from getting to the inside but they also fortunately prevent liquids on the inside (semen) from getting on the outside (where the dancer is).
  • MackTruck
    •
    5 years ago
    I googled what you said and i found what looked like a pair of latex underwear with a dildo/butt plug built into the back of them. If that is what you use then more power to you.
  • BrotherFogHorn
    •
    5 years ago
    I wear the spirit of the lawerd
  • BrotherFogHorn
    •
    5 years ago
    And da spirit cum blastin out my brethren
  • ELluchador
    •
    5 years ago
  • MackTruck
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^^ lookd gay to me
  • PaulDrake
    •
    5 years ago
    The climate is pretty warm where I live so I can get away with shorts almost year round. I found some pajama shorts that are super soft thin and stretchy and just look like regular black shorts.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    those aren't breathable.... nothing like the smell of sweaty balls ass and cum to turn a dancer on.
  • txtittyfag
    •
    5 years ago
    Yesterday [view link] ^^^^^ Aint that wut l wears when hes abductin unsuspectin womens?
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