Discovering Her Real Name
Ch3ll
Arizona
There was a fourth time I met her outside the club, but it was somewhat random. On this meet we met so i could give her $50 because she supposedly needed money. Anyway, leading up to this particular meet I texted her because I was in her city and she texted back. However, as the night progressed I got a text from her from a different number. Because I had the caller ID feature I see whose name it is and it's a guy's name.
The day after I do a little research and didn't connect the dots best I thought I did. There was an ailment she always spoke of that she saw a doctor for. So upon searching (gotta love Facebook) this guy's name I find he's in the medical field and chalked it up to him being a doctor friend.
Fast forward some months because I'm trying to see if she's around I do some further searching (gotta love Facebook). Note, all this time I'm thinking I have her real name because of her friends of her Facebook, which some were of the strip club and we had mutual friends. Well after searching some friends, relationship picture, and friends of friends, I come to find an old abandoned Facebook page which turns out to be her real name.
I then do a public records search (gotta know what criminal activity you're laying with) which further solidifies it's her real name.
So, if you've read the story, what would you do or how would you feel knowing you've been fooled pretty good?
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It is what it is, but as I said, it's good to know the criminal activity you laying with.
Although I think it's easy to believe that wanting to know someone's real name is somehow stalking, it's just to make sure you know who you're dealing with. A lot of my experiences over the years have been good because I took the extra step to make sure the girl was normal and not a pro or pimp'd whore.
The only concern Ch3ll's topic raises is how concerned he was about being "fooled". Dude, don't expect any girl who is doing these kind of favors to give any guy she doesn't know well her real name. Nobody is fooling anybody. If you happen to come across her real name and other real life details, keep it to yourself. Just give yourself assurance about her as a person and if you get some feeling that you don't like what you find - then the best thing for you to do is untangle your mind and move on.
If I saw a girl this infrequently I'm not so sure I'd be concerned with her real name or her past. I have run background checks on girls I saw more frequently. Some were violent offenders, others were high school honor students. The ones with criminal records were easy to spot, but the actual nature of their convictions can be surprising. In the long run I think your gut feeling about a person holds more weight than their record.
There are reasons that we want our privacy from you, I’m sure you feel the same. Do you want a dancer showing up at your work or home?? Yes, this is super stalker-ish. Gross.
SJG
Quite frankly, all things considered, you pose more of a threat to her -- both physically being a guy or access to resources to get revenge -- that she ever does to you. I'd just ask her to come clean if she has any drugs or paraphernalia on her. That's really your immediate concern to get a truthful answer on that for anyone that gets into your car. I'd rather know out of the gate that she has some on versus being surprised when a cop pulls us over.
That make more sense to do homework on her if you're entering into some kind of serious business relationship for serious money or anything long term or a near mistress arrangement. I would, too. That's just due diligence. And you're right, sometimes the ladies cry double standard over that when they're doing the same thing to customers.
I do a background check once I get the last night, but i don't stalk the shit out of them trying to get the last name. I told my CF that I looked her up as soon as I learned her last name and she thought it was funny. Unlike other girls, though, she has a lot of accomplishments an is proud of the things I saw. but if I'd only seen the girl 3 times OTC I wouldn't really care.
And the ones on drugs will never come clean about what they're holding until you get pulled over and it's too late. There's no amount of research that can prevent that from happening.
Or I could be a fool for assuming your black because you have the Trap in your screen name and tag line or whatever it's called.
Anyway, the interactions we engage in are already frowned upon, so yeah I'll be a stalker if that's what you want to call it.
Well, it's a good thing we don't have any dancers like that on here.
Do tell. Like, are we talking petty anty crimes or something serious like, IDK, say (attempted) murder?
What benefit do you get from prying into their private lives? Seriously. If you are looking to move the relationship forward doing things behind her back (unless we're talking doggystyle) is creepy and likely to be counterproductive. Talk to her and use some common sense.
is it just the coke or is this discussion truly fucked?
ch3ll you dont ask, you build trust.
It depends on how sure you are? Or how sure you need to be? Or what you have that is at risk. (just this night or two or is it an on going thing).
I think the dancers have a lot to be worried about for being outed. Or at least having a customer have that over them. Generally society is less tolerant of the prostitutes than the Johns. It's like their worst fear. So I expect the dancer push back that you see it here, as the way discourse evolved in this combined customer & dancer thread.
But I also subscribe to the hacker ethos 'that information wants to be free' (or at least known by me), so I understand what you are saying, Ch3ll. But I also respect my own personal privacy. And to make sure I don't embarrass or hurt my family home life at home. They come first.
Do tell. Like, are we talking petty anty crimes or something serious like, IDK, say (attempted) murder?"
two_bits - she was a sweet girl with a troubled past. What I was expecting to see was maybe some possession charges and perhaps solicitation. What I saw was grand theft auto and domestic battery. I stopped seeing her when she attempted to blackmail me over $50. If she'd have been willing to work for it she's have walked away with a lot more than $50. I still kind of miss her. But my current CF blows her out of the water.
If all the dancer in question has lied about was her real name then that's a normal-part of the SC game - but I don't think a PL researching a dancer's background for potential issues/hazards is any more out of line than a woman researching a.potential date, o/w it's a fucking double-standard - the OP has not mentioned he had any bad intentions in knowing what she was about, just to know if there was anything there he should be concerned with that could negatively affect him - no doubt many strippers have a shady past and have, or do, associate with shady people (drug dealers, ex-con BFs, etc), and some dancers themselves have some sort of criminal record and one *is* better-off knowing if they indeed have a shady past or current shady present, if one is gonna do business with them - I wouldn't get bent out if shape if a civvie-woman or even a dancer researched me out of concern b/f getting involved with me.
And for those saying "hey just ask her" - really, strippers rarely lie?
Also, if she's not your bitch don't worry about her finances
The thing is - this is what you decided to tell us. It’s possible you’ve done more searching - that you haven’t mentioned here - and that could make it even creepier.
In my view, I don’t care about a strippers real name. It makes no difference to me. In terms of otc - it’s cash and (covered) sex - nothing more.
We don’t exchange fluids, or credit card info - so I don’t care about her background, or her name. I don’t get a money back guarantee or a receipt - in case I want a refund - so I’m good with not knowing.
If you are just protecting yourself, that’s fine, if you are using her personal information to gain something it’s stalking.
I tend to agree with that.
1. I don't think it was the fact that she hid her real name that bothered OP. I think it was jealousy that got the better of him when he saw a guy's name. What the fuck does he think, that she goes to work looking to meet her Prince Charming? And OP is that Mr. Right? Dude, you're delusional and need a reality check.
2. I enjoy giving people shit.
Now if I were to ever discover that a phone number was a VoIP, then I would probably back off, even if there was another possible way for me to stalk him.
As for the Facebook account, I don’t see the problem. Tons of sex workers have separate pages for work and personal purposes. (The problematic part is when actual accounts start showing up as “people you may know”)
But yes. Strippers lie. Sometimes to be conniving con artists. But more importantly to cast a wide net.
It’s impossible for one stripper, even if she’s considered a 10 by most PLs, to naturally appeal to *everyone* You have to embellish or even outright lie sometimes about your personal background or personality in order to be likable with more customers.
Strippers aren’t looking for boyfriends. They are looking for cash. I don’t tell the truth about my boyfriend either.
I was more active on social media back then, and the next time he came in to see me he admitted that he had been looking at all my posts and I had everything public back then. Then I'd be living my life as usual, going to school, etc and just randomly get texts from him commenting on my latest social media posts. So he was actively following the posts. Then eventually his wife found out my name and created her own social media accounts to stalk me and harass me and comment on a bunch of my posts.
It was weird.
I will also say I sort of had the opposite experience as the OP. I totally expected my ATF to be lying about the facts of her life and her real name (which I didn't ask for BTW). But to my surprise after finding her social media everything she has ever told me is true. Definitely wasn't expecting that and I have been tipping better since.
Now lying to try to get huge sums of money is a whole other thing. That is bad.
I don't generally have strippers lying to me, like I said, create experiences where you're vulnerable with each other, that builds trust. I've had more non strippers try to lie.
But I can always tell when a stripper lies, I just go with the lie and ask her questions about it, act like I believe it and care. Its funny. They always make a mistake then I call them out on it.
I’m not that hard to find! I’m tall - and I prefer to keep my pants around my ankles...
I've heard strippers say they're in medical school, and when customers ask what medical school, they name a local community college. LOL
A few years ago, I was sitting with some customers and another dancer was sitting with us. The customers were asking me about school because I told them I had decided to pursue a law degree. The other stripper, who had already admitted she never went to college, got frustrated with the guys asking me about school so then she went on this whole spiel about how stupid lawyers are, how she would never want to be one, how much she hates them, and how law school is stupid. Then one of the customers said to her, "well, do you have any plans on what you want to do after stripping?" To which she replied, "I really want to be a prosecutor."
I actually consider it quite flattering when a stripper stalks me. Yes, it's about the money, but I'd rather give it to the girl who goes the extra miles and makes an effort to impress me rather than just going through the motions.
I've been constantly changing my sign-in over the past 18 months over paranoid delusions that my CF reads everything I write. She's made some comments in the past that really showed that she was on to me, so I changed sign-ins and stopped reviewing her club. I don't think she reads this anymore. I told her a couple of jackslahes's jokes over the weekend. I could tell from her response that she hadn't heard them before, but having told them, I'm now a little afraid that she won't see me again . . . life can be so difficult when you spend all your free time trying to win the pseudo-affection of a stripper.
If it makes you guys feel better, I’m pretty sure I’m in the tiny minority of dancers who do this. And pretty sure the rate of customers doing the reverse is way higher.
My “stalking” is amateur stuff compared to the likes of Facebook and google, who are the mega companies they are today because they do the dirty work for marketers.
And if you are a looking for a job, many employers also go way more in depth on researching job candidates than I do with customers.
That being said, I don’t think of if it is all completely terrible.
For me personally, I’ve found interesting ads before, because Facebook/google’s algorithms dug up something they figured I’d like.
If you're giving someone you don't know shit about thousands of dollars that means theres something wrong with you. Are you that desperate to be liked???? LMFAO
What? Invite my CF to socialize with a bunch or mongers happy to pay her for sex? I don't think so.
And then likewise on a forum like this, you should accept people the way they present themselves and not challenge them, as you do not have any country evidence. You should respect their boundaries.
Now if you meet a girl in a strip and present yourself as being open to her, like business card and other contact info, and an open invitation and trying to make it happen, then be ready. There is a good chance that you and she will be waking up together in the mornings, and that you will come to know a great deal about her affairs, because you will be paying her bills.
SJG
Reply to Nicole:
https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…
This one here, I think London, Kelly-Ann Maddox, she goes with the Chaos Magick leaders, Peter J. Carroll, Ray Sherwin, Phil Hine, and Austin Osman Spare. She talks about all of these in some of her hundred plus videos.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOw7brwD…
TJ Street
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/x9DUqhAne44/hqdef…
Elliot Rodger Manifesto 2014, 11 hours, am listening through this, and I see it differently now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60WCF3WB…
^Nailed it. There's probably lots of reasons for using stage names, with personal safety being one of them.