Plans to meet for my first OTC in forever

I couldn't quite tell what you're saying... that you want OTC extras from her for free, because you'll have spent money on her ITC? Maybe you should cancel the OTC rather than risk losing a CF you're otherwise happy with, over expectations that she almost certainly won't meet?

You're setting yourself up for disappointment. Just coz she takes your money ITC doesn't mean she wants to fuck you.

You're just a customer

Subraman is exactly on target. You almost never hear of OTC adult activities for free. Best be up front about your expectations and hers.

Yeah I'm also confused. What makes you think any OTC action should be for free? Is it because you spend money on her in the club? That's not a legit reason at all.

You guys are paying dancers to meet OTC? I never pay. I only see model quality girls that I meet OTC. I do spring for a meal sometimes but that is all. Isn't life great?

I was thinking. Since SHE suggested meeting afterwards that OTC was certainly on the table. I didn’t suggest it but merely said I’d come to see her in a strange city at whatever club she chose to work at. Like I said we’ve had some pretty good chemistry. I have her digits and full name (yes verified), and I’m far from a RIL or PL.

I’ve been in the game far too long. It’s just this one is weird because she asked if it would be possible to meet after her shift. I was VERY noncommittal about the whole idea. Also I’ve never dropped a shit ton of cash on her at the club. Max $ and of that, it’s minimal dancing or mostly sitting with 2 way contact if you get the idea. Personally I think SHE wants to take it further.

If you've never spent time with her though... if a stripper really likes you, she hangs out with you. She doesn't just keep you as a customer. Its like when any girl likes you.

Yeah, she wants to make more $ from you having sex, OTC. Is that the vibe you're getting? And your'e down for the sex, but not the $, and you'll be so insulted if she doesn't give you the sex for free that you'll fire her as your CF? It just seems like you're setting yourself up to lose a CF you're otherwise happy with.

I'm not sure why you think the fact that she suggested OTC means the sex is free...

I mean, I've had strippers where we'd just meet after her shift for just dinner or drinks, and in that case, I'd pay for just the dinner or drinks. I mean, she could be the unicorn who is willing to transition to free sex with you, but so far nothing indicates that

Actually I’m getting the, “I really like you, and want to spend time with you” vibe. I should have mentioned she’s older, around 40, grown kid, definitely has a mature body, not some 20ish kid with nothing in common with me.

Maybe that changes things. She knows I have a great career etc... I’m getting the feeling she wants more than I’m willing to give if you know what I mean.

Does that change any opinions?

Anything's possible. FWB relationships with strippers is super rare but possible, so I suppose that, given she's older and has fewer options, there's a chance, however unlikely. And given she's older with a mature body, I wouldn't be questioning it if you said, "hey, I'm going to take a chance and see if the sex is free; if it's not, I'll pass." Hey, totally get it, I don't want to pay for sex with a 40-year-old either :) But you're going a step further and saying, "... and if the sex isn't free, I'm going to be so hurt and outraged that I'm firing her as my CF". That's the unreasonable part to me. Why fire her for meaning exactly what 99.999% of other strippers mean, when they suggest OTC?

I think it may mean she has more of a connection with you, feels she can relate and may just want someone to hang out in a city she's all alone in. I don't think it means she wants to have sex. I think once you become a customer its very rare for it to transition into a non customer client type thing. Sex and work don't mix well. I think if she wanted to transition into something real, she would have done it by now.

"You almost never hear of OTC adult activities for free."

I'll admit it's rare, but it does happen (just not to losers like you). This is an exalted stage of mongering achieved by only the most senior and skilled Masters, such as Sensai Shadowcat and myself, of course.

(As to never hearing about it - where the fuck have you been?)

I don’t think it’s beyond the realm of possibility that she’s willing to meet you OTC for free. How *likely* do I think it is? Answer these questions first.

Are you having sex ITC?

Are you paying for it?

If you answered yes to both of these, I think your dreams of free OTC sex are pipe dreams, and your expectations of such, if you mention them to her, are likely to be met with incredulity and possibly anger.

I’d suggest just asking her exactly what she’s proposing. If she’s just thinking of hanging out, drinks, dinner, that kind of thing, expecting it to be “free” isn’t out of line. I personally would be offering to pick up the tab for that sort of thing, but that’s just me.

If, on the other hand, you’re currently paying her for ITC sex and she’s proposing an extension of that, perhaps because she’s unsure she can get away with it in the other city’s clubs, I think you’re foolish to expect her to be willing to give it up for free just because it’s outside the club.

I wouldn’t be hurt or outraged. Actually it wouldn’t really bother me. What I’m afraid of is like I mentioned before, and other posters have indicated, we aren’t talking about some 20 year old. We’re talking about a mature woman whose options are fewer. Funny thing is I really like her but do I agree to the OTC, or just keep it ITC?

My time for a regular FWB back home with her is limited and while I enjoy her company, it’s weirding me out a bit. I’ll probably agree to dinner etc and I told her I only have one night free.

@georgemicro. No we have never had ITC sex and no I have never paid anything over and above a couple drinks etc. We’ve spent around 2 hrs together each time I’ve been there and never spent more than $$ including cocktails for both of us together

I think you are trying to transition the relationship too fast. Or at least faster than what that dancer is expecting. Given how rigid your expectations are the likely hood of this crashing and bombing are high.

Paul... sending you a PM

Oh, and @two_bits. Not to get into a pissing contest but “where have I been” and “losers like you”? I checked and you joined a few weeks ago. I’ve been a VIP member since 2003. I think based on that alone I’ve got just a bit more experience than you. I humbly state I think I know what I’m doing here.

Subra and GMD have aske the pertinent questions and made the relevant points IMHO

Don't confront her or ask... that will fuck it up and put her in business mode. Just go with the flow, if she meets you for drinks or breakfast after work, just go with her and try to escalate shit like you would with any girl. Touch her, kiss her, see how receptive she is to everything. If she's open ask her to come back to your place. If she mentions money just play it off and say you can't, or pay. If she doesn't and says no, just let it go.

Fucking strippers without paying them is very possible. Its actually pretty easy. But not all that common once you're a customer coz of the established business relationship n shit

If you’ve never had ITC sex, and she’s offering to hang out, and hasn’t mentioned sex, then my guess would be she’s not thinking of OTC sex. If you’re expecting it, I suggest you be prepared to be disappointed.

Do you remember her exact wording?

Someone told me this before, but take away money from the equation and that is when you'll see her true intentions. Don't expect too much because usually it's all a facade. I made that mistake not to long ago and I'm now learning to live with it.

Her wording was pretty vague but stated she’d like to see me after her shift. To me that’s what a civvie would say when they wanted to go out for dinner etc.

Probably reading more into it than I should I guess. I suppose if we do meet I’ll just play it by ear. I certainly don’t mind a dinner companion and if she wants to take it further I’ll figure it out pretty quickly.

@lotsoffluff - pretty clear I was responding to someone else, not you - but, hey, if the shoe fits...

Also, if you "know what you're doing", why are you asking this bunch of losers for advice?

“You’ve been in the game” but never had done OTC yet?

She’s using you as a backup plan. If she doesn’t make dick at a new club she’s visiting, she can make it up or add some cream on to by doing OTC with you.

Please don’t be disillusioned and pay the girl for OTC no matter what you spend ITC. If you want it for free then you may want to find a girlfriend.

if she was vague and never contacted you for plans or anything she may have just said it to be nice but has no intention of seeing you. I dont believe its some orchestrated money making plot.... thats ridiculous

WARNING - The following accounts are considered to be forum trolls and may not be trustworthy:

Phatboy99 - definite troll account

two_bits - parody troll account

Vantablack - possible troll account

trollwarnbot must be a pretty pathetic dumbass to waste their time trolling the threads accusing whoever they dont like of being a troll lmfao

"Someone told me this before, but take away money from the equation and that is when you'll see her true intentions."

I don't think this is a fare comment to make about strippers. We go to the club knowing that they are there for money. We offer even more money if they'll meet us at a hotel. And if we keep doing it, then we shouldn't suddenly expect it to be about more than a p4p relationship. A stripper could just as easily say about a customer "take the sex away and you'll see his true intentions". It's an exchange, and very rare for it to progress into anything other than that. But if you enjoy each other's company, then the exchange is better.

As far as this specific post is concerned, never spend money ITC on something that you expect to be delivered OTC. If I come see my CF in the club then I'm doing something extra for her and I expect some dances in return, that's it. OTC still costs what OTC costs.

Its a fair assessment if you're just hanging out with her. But yeah everything in the club is just her work and damn right she should get paid for it

I agree to pay her to hang out in a club. She suggested after, not me, therefore other than drinks and dinner that’s all. My problem is that like I said before. We aren’t talking some 20 something party girl here. This is a 40 something woman. That’s the dilemma.

I’ve decided that I’ll see her at the club. Spend a few $$ and that’s all. If she still wants to meet after, and I have to be discreet, I’ll take her to dinner and if anything else transpires it’s her idea not mine. Trust me I will report back if this goes down.

If you like her then why don't you just ask her out on a date? Her invitation to you revolves around her being at a specific club, which is very different than a date.

@OP, your tagline (location) says, "Fortune favors the bold, Vegas baby"

Why not go ahead and ask her out on a date as @BTA suggests?? If you're capable of pulling this off for free the way you've been suggesting it could go down in this thread of whatever phatboy is suggesting. It's the same thing.

Personally I think this is the wrong approach since I think you're likely misreading her and misreading the situation but you seem hellbent on justifying why it (she) should see you for free. Cut to the chase.

I think OP is just looking to get hurt. It can happen but I doubt it given their relationship dynamic

It's nearly impossible for us to discern her intent via your posts here. So, you're largely on your own on that part.

That said, the strippers who do really well are the ones who make it *seem* more personal and genuine. They get and keep the most regulars. So, what you are interpreting as her genuinely wanting a non-client-based relationship might actually be her genuinely being good at her job.

And if she's successfully stripping at 40 years old, then it's reasonable to assume that she's pretty good at the social engineering part of her job in addition to being hot.

So, is it possible that she wants a non-customer relationship with you? ...sure it's *possible*. But is it likely? meh... I wouldn't take that bet in a casino.

So, I'd say play it by ear, but don't be surprised if she expects to be paid OTC as well as ITC.

My honest opinion on this is that she just said she'd meet up with him to be friendly and act like she likes him. I don't think she has the intention of actually seeing him. If she really wanted to she would have done it a long time ago and not in some different city. If she does get in touch, it will probably be for drinks or food or whatever just so she doesn't have to be alone. I don't think shes propositioning him. The fact that he has no idea what she wants shows he doesnt know her as well as he thinks he does and that most likely means theres no real connection other than trick - stripper.

If it happens he should just go with the flow, if it doesnt its not surprising