I won't repeat what she said here, out of concern that she might read it, but a girl who has been my CF for a very long time give me what I believe to be a line the other night while we were doing VIP. It came across like something you would say to a guy to make him feel important to your life, just so you'll stick around and keep spending. But my CF already knows what I'm going to spend, and also that I have no desire to move on to other girls. On the other hand, she was very drunk, even for her, and lately on the occasions when she gets like this she's started saying more personal things that she doesn't otherwise say, like "I love you", which I interpret to mean she loves that I'm a good customer who spends appropriately for the amount of time we spend together (and compared to some of the customers there, I'm not a pain to deal with). But this one irks me. It's insulting if she's going to start feeding me lines after all this time, but almost kind of sad (for her) if it's true. And I doubt she has any recollection that she said it. She was two sheets to the wind.
Anyone ever had a similar experience? Feel free to IM me if you care to know what she said for the sake of providing your perspective.
It's a relationship based on $$$, so IMO it's hard if not prudent to take anything with more than a grain of salt.
IMO w/e anyone says, especially a stripper I'm paying, I don't put much stock in - actions and the type of person they are speaks louder than words.
And IMO, in the end why does it matter, do you genuinely think a relationship with a stripper will work out and it'd be something you want and can handle - don't mean to be judgemental but are you gonna hitch yourself to a chick that gets drunk fairly regularly and grinds on dudes for a living.
I know all the high and mighty on TUSCL will wanna jump all over this but the reality as I perceive it is that even though there's lots of PLs that worship their faves, it's really just mostly if not all lust and when push comes to shove I don't see many PLs genuinely hooking up with strippers and even less examples of it working out - with as much SCing as many have done here, it seems genuine hook-ups are rare especially successful ones - it's unlikely you actually want a genuine relationship with a stripper or would want one if you really know the deal, o/w they would be a lot more common.
So my point is:
- why does it matter what she may say besides it either meaning nothing or meaning several things none of which may necessarily be good - if you want an S.O. then best to look outside the club
- anyone that needs to ask about love/romance/relationships with a stripper IMO is not ready to have a relationship with a stripper beyond just P4P or some fun fling
My long ass post is bc it seems as if you're hoping/wishing she was being truthful and not jerking you around or playing with your feelings - that's how I read your post and thus my comment above
Sure. There have been a few times where a CF I've known for a while has said something really lame. Typically, an eye roll is enough to tell her she took a wrong step. On other occasions, I've said "I think we're beyond stuff like that. Don't you?"
I try not to be very harsh about it, though. I've said stupid things to strippers before, and I've had to apologize for it.
That was how one of my relationships with an old favorite came to a sudden end, after 5 years and seeing her at 3 different clubs. When they take you for granted, it's time to move on.
Depends on the type of ss i guess. I have never heard any "insulting" ss yet. And i dont put much stock into "you're cute/i like you" ss. I would certainly take " i love you"(or your wallet) with a grain of salt...
OP you have said that you are older but it seems no wiser, I hope for your sake you find a real girlfriend, you seem to have confused what is really happened with what you want to happen.
It's not like she'll confront you in the style of "fuck you jackie" like juice got. Though, if she did, we might get the context or her side of the story.
Papi_Chulo - I appreciate your thoughtful response. I have no expectation (nor desire) for a real relationship with a stripper. I guess my point is if she understands that I prefer her over other girls and knows that I'm going to continue spending on her, then why the fake shit? What I liked about her in the first place was the lack of fake shit. She just hung out, acted like herself, and I compensated her for it. She's not going to get anymore $ out of me with it. And if it's just a move to keep me around longer, it's backfiring, because it's making me give serious thought into moving on. I think what I'm experiencing is the way that the industry has changed her over time, and I find it unattractive. So on the other hand, if I do move on my expectations are that I'll just find more of the same elsewhere . . . . but perhaps in a slightly less attractive and significantly less reliable package.
Call.Me.Ishmael - I like your response. Unfortunately, there's too much alcohol involved for the point to register.
DandyDan - I'm feeling what you say. To an extent, I'm cool with be taken for granted. It's a strip club. I don't go there club looking for honesty. With this one just knowing that she prefers me over the other customers is enough. And that's how it's been for a really long time. She's definitely not driving things in a real relationship direction (or even driving them in a facade of a real relationship direction). That level of "honesty" is still there. But her recent actions imply an emotional attachment on her end, which not only isn't what I'm looking for, but it's a level of SS that isn't required to keep me around. At the risk of being laughed off the board, I'll say that with this one it's conceivable that there's some truth behind what she's saying, and if that's the case, then I think it's unhealthy. Other than this, she exceeds all of the other girls, so I'm tempted to just ignore it and continue (for the foreseeable future). Nothing is ever going to be perfect. But I liked things better the way they were before.
twentyfive - don't worry, I have a perfectly healthy civilian life.
She probably likes the way your money and your time makes her feel. I don't think I'd read to much more into in than that. If she's drunk or buzzed then the part of her brain that says, "hey, this is a bad idea / Don't say that think you're about to speak" is on vacation so you're getting unfiltered thoughts. Most guys have at least a few redeeming qualities if not a lot of redeeming qualities. If she knows you fairly well, then maybe she appreciates some of those qualities.
Generally if it's not something she would say sober I don't hold it against her. I would 100% ignore it if I were in your position.
"She probably likes the way your money and your time makes her feel."
I think she does. Redeeming qualities aside (not to suggest I don't have any), I think she extracts enjoyment from being picked over the other girls, and she especially enjoys the fact that my appreciation for her over the other girls can be measured in monetary terms. I consistently do this for her. I think it would be better if she just came out and said it that way, but then she'd probably feel like a whore.
1) accept them the way they are and their "eccentricities" as long as they make you feel good o/w (she's not gonna be a lifelong companion so can't set the bar too-high) - i.e. you need to let a fair-amount of shit slide like they do w/ us
2) let them know what it is you expect and what you like/don't-like
3) move on
i.e. no need to make it complicated w/ so many PLs often asking or trying to decode "what do you think she meant by 'X'" w/ 'X' being some type of behavior or comment - IMO it's simple - you pay her, she tries to please you - if one wants anything other than stop paying her and pursue that path.
I’m unsure if you find her ss insulting or concerning?
If it’s the common ss - I generally let it go. However, if she overdoes the ss - then I’d start to wonder if she had fallen on rough times. Drinking more heavily, coming up with odd requests for more money, can point to emotional or substance abuse issues.
If you are concerned that she’s getting into some bad shit, it’s very difficult to guide her away from a downward spiral. She needs to find her own way out.
If her shit gets too deep, you could just tell her that she doesn’t need use that shit with you. Tell her to relax, as she already knows that you will spend on her. If she keeps laying it on “Oh baby, I’m so wet for you!” - that type of shit - then maybe it’s best to move on.
Sometimes it’s impossible to determine the root cause of why a stripper changes things up. So, it’s better to just move on.
"I’m unsure if you find her SS insulting or concerning?"
I am too. If I can take what she said at face value, then it's concerning (for her) even though it was meant to be a complement (to me). If it's a false complement intended to get me to keep spending then it was unnecessary and insulting.
"If you are concerned that she’s getting into some bad shit, it’s very difficult to guide her away from a downward spiral. She needs to find her own way out."
This is (possibly) true about her too, but completely unrelated to my post. I can tell she lies to me about it, but she's entitled to her private life and this aspect of her isn't any of my business, so nothing held against her there. I can tell she uses significantly less of it than I did at her age, and I didn't make stripper money when I was in my twenties, so I can't imagine that it's causing a significant financial burden. But unlike her, I'm aware of how slowly and unnoticeable the long term effect creeps up on you, and then you're really depressed. But it doesn't really cause much physical withdrawal, so still relatively easy to quit, unless you're making stripper money and constantly surrounded by it. So I realize that there's nothing I can do to change the situation as far as that's concerned.
If she keeps laying it on “Oh baby, I’m so wet for you!” - that type of shit - then maybe it’s best to move on.
It's always so much sweeter and more believable than “Oh baby, I’m so wet for you!”. I think I'd be more comfortable and less on my guard with “Oh baby, I’m so wet for you!” - those girls are a dime a dozen. This one's a diamond in the rough, when she's gone she's gone, so I kind of feel like I have to enjoy it now, even though it's changing.
@gentleman_scholar posted: " I think she extracts enjoyment from being picked over the other girls, and she especially enjoys the fact that my appreciation for her over the other girls can be measured in monetary terms."
^Got it.
@gentleman_scholar posted: "I think it would be better if she just came out and said it that way, but then she'd probably feel like a whore."
^I understand why she's not want to make her feel like a whore. Does her comment in any way then make you feel like a John? Nevermind. I'm not sure I'm the one that can help you.
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IMO w/e anyone says, especially a stripper I'm paying, I don't put much stock in - actions and the type of person they are speaks louder than words.
And IMO, in the end why does it matter, do you genuinely think a relationship with a stripper will work out and it'd be something you want and can handle - don't mean to be judgemental but are you gonna hitch yourself to a chick that gets drunk fairly regularly and grinds on dudes for a living.
I know all the high and mighty on TUSCL will wanna jump all over this but the reality as I perceive it is that even though there's lots of PLs that worship their faves, it's really just mostly if not all lust and when push comes to shove I don't see many PLs genuinely hooking up with strippers and even less examples of it working out - with as much SCing as many have done here, it seems genuine hook-ups are rare especially successful ones - it's unlikely you actually want a genuine relationship with a stripper or would want one if you really know the deal, o/w they would be a lot more common.
So my point is:
- why does it matter what she may say besides it either meaning nothing or meaning several things none of which may necessarily be good - if you want an S.O. then best to look outside the club
- anyone that needs to ask about love/romance/relationships with a stripper IMO is not ready to have a relationship with a stripper beyond just P4P or some fun fling
I try not to be very harsh about it, though. I've said stupid things to strippers before, and I've had to apologize for it.
They must have also said iacentem meretricibus (lying whores).
Well, them and the strippers in "college"(im assuming).
Call.Me.Ishmael - I like your response. Unfortunately, there's too much alcohol involved for the point to register.
DandyDan - I'm feeling what you say. To an extent, I'm cool with be taken for granted. It's a strip club. I don't go there club looking for honesty. With this one just knowing that she prefers me over the other customers is enough. And that's how it's been for a really long time. She's definitely not driving things in a real relationship direction (or even driving them in a facade of a real relationship direction). That level of "honesty" is still there. But her recent actions imply an emotional attachment on her end, which not only isn't what I'm looking for, but it's a level of SS that isn't required to keep me around. At the risk of being laughed off the board, I'll say that with this one it's conceivable that there's some truth behind what she's saying, and if that's the case, then I think it's unhealthy. Other than this, she exceeds all of the other girls, so I'm tempted to just ignore it and continue (for the foreseeable future). Nothing is ever going to be perfect. But I liked things better the way they were before.
twentyfive - don't worry, I have a perfectly healthy civilian life.
He’s probably a troll but he doesn’t seem to derail threads. I wonder what he’s trying to imitate though.
Anyways, I’d probably just laugh in her face is her SS is really obvious.
Generally if it's not something she would say sober I don't hold it against her. I would 100% ignore it if I were in your position.
I think she does. Redeeming qualities aside (not to suggest I don't have any), I think she extracts enjoyment from being picked over the other girls, and she especially enjoys the fact that my appreciation for her over the other girls can be measured in monetary terms. I consistently do this for her. I think it would be better if she just came out and said it that way, but then she'd probably feel like a whore.
1) accept them the way they are and their "eccentricities" as long as they make you feel good o/w (she's not gonna be a lifelong companion so can't set the bar too-high) - i.e. you need to let a fair-amount of shit slide like they do w/ us
2) let them know what it is you expect and what you like/don't-like
3) move on
i.e. no need to make it complicated w/ so many PLs often asking or trying to decode "what do you think she meant by 'X'" w/ 'X' being some type of behavior or comment - IMO it's simple - you pay her, she tries to please you - if one wants anything other than stop paying her and pursue that path.
If it’s the common ss - I generally let it go. However, if she overdoes the ss - then I’d start to wonder if she had fallen on rough times. Drinking more heavily, coming up with odd requests for more money, can point to emotional or substance abuse issues.
If you are concerned that she’s getting into some bad shit, it’s very difficult to guide her away from a downward spiral. She needs to find her own way out.
If her shit gets too deep, you could just tell her that she doesn’t need use that shit with you. Tell her to relax, as she already knows that you will spend on her. If she keeps laying it on “Oh baby, I’m so wet for you!” - that type of shit - then maybe it’s best to move on.
Sometimes it’s impossible to determine the root cause of why a stripper changes things up. So, it’s better to just move on.
I am too. If I can take what she said at face value, then it's concerning (for her) even though it was meant to be a complement (to me). If it's a false complement intended to get me to keep spending then it was unnecessary and insulting.
"If you are concerned that she’s getting into some bad shit, it’s very difficult to guide her away from a downward spiral. She needs to find her own way out."
This is (possibly) true about her too, but completely unrelated to my post. I can tell she lies to me about it, but she's entitled to her private life and this aspect of her isn't any of my business, so nothing held against her there. I can tell she uses significantly less of it than I did at her age, and I didn't make stripper money when I was in my twenties, so I can't imagine that it's causing a significant financial burden. But unlike her, I'm aware of how slowly and unnoticeable the long term effect creeps up on you, and then you're really depressed. But it doesn't really cause much physical withdrawal, so still relatively easy to quit, unless you're making stripper money and constantly surrounded by it. So I realize that there's nothing I can do to change the situation as far as that's concerned.
If she keeps laying it on “Oh baby, I’m so wet for you!” - that type of shit - then maybe it’s best to move on.
It's always so much sweeter and more believable than “Oh baby, I’m so wet for you!”. I think I'd be more comfortable and less on my guard with “Oh baby, I’m so wet for you!” - those girls are a dime a dozen. This one's a diamond in the rough, when she's gone she's gone, so I kind of feel like I have to enjoy it now, even though it's changing.
^Got it.
@gentleman_scholar posted: "I think it would be better if she just came out and said it that way, but then she'd probably feel like a whore."
^I understand why she's not want to make her feel like a whore. Does her comment in any way then make you feel like a John? Nevermind. I'm not sure I'm the one that can help you.