When I go to a place and am sitting trying to keep track of the talent, or be open to being approached, what's the least asshole way to tell a girl who is otherwise cool to talk to but not your thing to leave so that she stops cockblocking? I would not mind if the girl was what interested me physically to consider getting dances with but it's just a drag to tolerate. If I were there for conversation like a hostess club or something I wouldn't mind but it gets annoying when these types just sit there and never get up even when it's clear I'm not going to spend a dime on them. I can't be THAT charming.
I go straight to "it was fun talking to you, but I'm not going to be buying any dances from you and don't want to waste your time", or some spin on that . Those are the magic words: "I"m not going to be buying any dances" that gets them to skidaddle right away.
The 2 times this same dancer did this with me I've told her I'm not going to buy dances from her and I'm just wanting to chill to watch the surroundings, she makes it seem like it's OK and stays planted next to me. I think she has an esteem problem and I don't think she makes much money stripping. She doesn't stick around the whole time, just 10-15 minutes which is long enough for me to miss approaches from girls I like the look of. My concern isn't being direct with her to leave me alone, I just don't want her to get offended enough to somehow badmouth me to other girls I might want to talk to.
One shouldn't SC worrying about what dancers will think or do - you're the customer and the one paying, you shouldn't have to be tip-toeing around dancer SS nor trying to acommodate their SS on *your* time - this "I don't wanna offend her bc she'll badmouth me" is little-bitrch behavior - don't tolerate her invading your space and time, as others mentioned if she decides to dig in her heels then either ignore her completely or just get up and move - if you think dancers are not approaching you bc she badmouthed you then just approach them, dancers rarely turn down an opportunity to make $$$ if they are o/w not busy with another customer.
Agree with PC. Also (and I've been there) once you tried the polite approach best to jut be more direct. 'Look, me telling you I wanna chill or am not buying dances was my way of saying bye because I'd like to have this seat open. So, thank you, time for you to leave.' She may just be dense and who cares if she talks shit. The minute you start spending money the gals will know and all will be forgiven and worst case you just go get the gal you want or you give the cocktail waitress five to bring her over. Man up lol.
Usually the "I just got here", "I am just going to chill for awhile", or "I want to watch a stage rotation before I get any dances" works. Several times over the years I have had dancers that couldn't take a hint. I have trouble feeling that I am being rude to just come out and say "please leave".
What has always worked in those situations is immediately make her your wingman. Ask her about the hot blonde over there. What is her name? She is just my type. She looks like she would be fun in VIP. The cling-on dancer either 1. quickly excuses her self, 2. provides maybe some useful 411, or 3. goes and gets the girl you want. #2 & #3 may even get her a $5 or $10 tip. Everyone wins.
Only once did a cling-on start stripper shit bad mouthing the hotter girl. After that I didn't feel bad about being blunt.
"Hey, to be honest, I'm not buying dances anytime soon. I don't want to waste your time."
Usually that will do it, but if she's persistent:
"I don't mean to be rude, but I'd to just chill out for a while if that's ok."
This makes some of them irritable, but I really don't care. And if all else fails...
"Look, you're really not my type and I'm not going to give you any money. Not trying to be mean, but I'd like you to go now."
99.5% of the time it never gets to this point, even with a fairly persistent one. But maybe once a year I end up in this spot with a girl who just won't take a hint. Some guys are pussies and will try to hide in the bathroom and do other stuff to shake these girls off instead of just telling them to leave, but that's ridiculous to me and it doesn't solve the problem if she comes back. Also, if you look weak, other sharks will notice even if you manage to elude toe first one.
Stop worrying about looking like an asshole. As I've said for years, in some clubs (especially tourist trap types), if you don't manage your space, then the most aggressive girls will manage it for you.
I'm missing something here. You say, "... just 10-15 minutes which is long enough for me to miss approaches from girls I like the look of." That seems the perfect out. Call the other dancer over and get dances from her. THAT should end the time with the "hanger on",
Appreciate all your comments. I can be just as rude as anyone, I was just seeking out the most polite way to get such a girl moving if she's not taking softer hints.
I don't think anyone is saying to be rude, just not to sit there waiting till she decides to go away - as a last resort either sit some place else or just grab a dancer that interests you - i.e. be proactive not rude
There are some dancers who get offended by an automatic & curt “I’m not interested” when a dancer so much as looks at them. Personally, I appreciate those customer types.
Definitely way more than the customer who acts like they are about to buy a dance in a couple of songs from now, but don’t. And try to grope you and talk your ear off for free. That, imo, is the douchiest.
I just say i promised someone else a dance. However if shes agressive you could just start playing with yourself at the bar and stare at her emotionless. I doubt any woman would get turned on by that.
Years ago at Spearmint Rhino I had one latch on to me at the door. She refused to take several hints, even followed me to the bathroom and waited outside. Finally I tell her, point blank, she's not getting any dances from me, "Alright hun, I'll stop back by later".
If she asks who I usually just say something generic "the asian girl" or "the girl with black hair". Wierdly this strategy uncovered hidden racism as one russian girl I always danced wtih told all the other russians that I had an asian fetish when it was just the girl provided better service.
Also dont forget fondling yourself and staring blankly at her. Maybe teasing your nipple a bit. Never break eye contact with her and keep your face as emotionless as possible. Someone please try this and take one for the team.
Papi "I don't think anyone is saying to be rude, just not to sit there waiting till she decides to go away - as a last resort either sit some place else or just grab a dancer that interests you - i.e. be proactive not rude" That's what I ended up doing last time. I told her I was going to get out of my chair to stretch, then walked over to another part of the club and walked up to one of the dancers I was interested to have time with. I just think this clueless lingering dancer will do the same thing next time I go to the club, I will have to just be straight with her or just start talking about other dancers endlessly like another poster suggested.
If you are new to a place I would recommend that you dont berate a stripper to get rid of them. Strippers gossip a lot. If you use a line like "not you" she might go back to the changing room and say you are a cheap tipper, smell bad, or tried to finger her.
If you are polite and say "maybe later" or perhaps say "im waiting for Sapphire" you'd be surprised how quickly your fav will emerge from changing room to greet you. This is very helpful if girls start to learn that you are a regular and tip well. I would say all women know who my favorite is as soon as I walk in the bar. Them coming by is simply a chance to remain cordial in the slight chance my fav is off on vacation which did recently.
I've had dancers be just fine sitting with me even if I wasn't buying. I would just be honest and say you wanted dances from other dancers before leaving the club. Most dancers get the message. You aren't there just for her.
You guys who are so scared of the strippers that you're using passive aggressive wording instead of being direct and clear, under the misguided notion that being direct is somehow rude: while luckily most girls are not cunts and will just take the hint, you will eventually run into girls who (correctly) view this type of behavior as weakness, and start taking you through the "humiliation interview", either to try to bully you into a dance, or just to make themselves feel better by watching you squirm. Then I suppose you can do more passive aggressive behavior by getting up and going somewhere else, but that's a hell of a way to go through strip clubbing. Things became a lot more enjoyable for me, and the number of negative interactions went down, when I just became direct and clear (while always staying respectful).
^ had one like this last night, after I told her that I wasn’t interested she proceeded to put her purse and shit on the seat next to me where there was a drink that I had brought for a fave that was on stage, so I got annoyed and took her purse her cigarettes and stuffed them back in her hands any sent her on her way, funny thing that as I did that I received a standing ovation from half a dozen strippers and two of them insisted on buying me a beer.
Part of the problem in my case I was there during the afternoon ( which everyone on this site seems to love) and was dressed in a suit and tie. --and worse I has someone with me that wasn't as strong minded as I am.
At some point in her life I'm convinced she was a Jehovah Witness ( the ones that ring your bell and go door to door and when some poor unsuspecting slob opens to see who is there they stick their foot in the door so they can't close it)
This is like most any service-oriented issue. If we have a bad server or service at a restaurant, there's a certain way to handle it so that you don't get your food spit on. Being new to any club, none of us know the dynamic between the girls - maybe some of them give a cut to the ones that don't get dances (less popular) but get them intel on customers.
I don't know how long the OP has been SCing, but i've certainly experienced something similar. Sometimes it will be a random dancer and sometimes it will be a dancer i've danced with previously but had no further interest in her. I'm only interested in doing what i want to do at a strip club and could care less about what some random stripper wanted me to do.
But i'm not a rude person in general and even less so with the ladies so if the girl just sticks around in her weird awkward way i find the most effective but least offensive way is to stand up and say "Well, it was nice meeting you", touch her arm or shoulder, shake her hand even, although this is not necessary, and walk to a different area of the club (near or to the stage, bar, bathroom, anywhere really, or better yet to a girl you are interested in) leaving her alone at the table. Your intent should be unmistakable but no emotional exchange is involved. If she has any sense at all, she won't approach you again.
Secondly, waiting for the girl you want to approach you is generally not effective unless you already communicated to her to find you later although even then girls often prefer to be found than do the finding.
@nicespice her shit was a phone and pack of cigarettes and I quite emphatically told her my friend was sitting there, she was a Russian girl and she’s often pushy as fuck for some reason a lot of customers are intimidated by her, just so happens that the club was slower than usual due to the holiday and she made the mistake of picking on the wrong target( Me) I’m fairly well known in there, I wasn’t too worried I just was trying to avoid a scene but she wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I did what I had to do.
> However if shes agressive you could just start playing with yourself at the bar and stare at her emotionless. I doubt any woman would get turned on by that.
When I tried this, she looked me straight in the eye and said OK daddy, we need to put that in my mouth. That's The Secret that TUSCL is trying to reveal. Or was it trying not to reveal? Dammit, the internet is hard. Just like my penis.
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Or I tell them I'm not planning on getting any dances and I don't wanna waste her time.
> I just tell them I wanna chill and just watch the stage for a while.
What has always worked in those situations is immediately make her your wingman. Ask her about the hot blonde over there. What is her name? She is just my type. She looks like she would be fun in VIP. The cling-on dancer either 1. quickly excuses her self, 2. provides maybe some useful 411, or 3. goes and gets the girl you want. #2 & #3 may even get her a $5 or $10 tip. Everyone wins.
Only once did a cling-on start stripper shit bad mouthing the hotter girl. After that I didn't feel bad about being blunt.
Usually that will do it, but if she's persistent:
"I don't mean to be rude, but I'd to just chill out for a while if that's ok."
This makes some of them irritable, but I really don't care. And if all else fails...
"Look, you're really not my type and I'm not going to give you any money. Not trying to be mean, but I'd like you to go now."
99.5% of the time it never gets to this point, even with a fairly persistent one. But maybe once a year I end up in this spot with a girl who just won't take a hint. Some guys are pussies and will try to hide in the bathroom and do other stuff to shake these girls off instead of just telling them to leave, but that's ridiculous to me and it doesn't solve the problem if she comes back. Also, if you look weak, other sharks will notice even if you manage to elude toe first one.
Stop worrying about looking like an asshole. As I've said for years, in some clubs (especially tourist trap types), if you don't manage your space, then the most aggressive girls will manage it for you.
I'm missing something here. You say, "... just 10-15 minutes which is long enough for me to miss approaches from girls I like the look of." That seems the perfect out. Call the other dancer over and get dances from her. THAT should end the time with the "hanger on",
Definitely way more than the customer who acts like they are about to buy a dance in a couple of songs from now, but don’t. And try to grope you and talk your ear off for free. That, imo, is the douchiest.
If she pushes it like that I'd have no problem saying "someone else"
Customer: I'm waiting a specific dancer.
Stripper: Oh, who?
Customer: Not you.
If you are polite and say "maybe later" or perhaps say "im waiting for Sapphire" you'd be surprised how quickly your fav will emerge from changing room to greet you. This is very helpful if girls start to learn that you are a regular and tip well. I would say all women know who my favorite is as soon as I walk in the bar. Them coming by is simply a chance to remain cordial in the slight chance my fav is off on vacation which did recently.
Pretty sure that was a typo but that would have been hilarious!
She must have been irritating AF for the other dancers to deal with in the past.
Part of the problem in my case I was there during the afternoon ( which everyone on this site seems to love) and was dressed in a suit and tie. --and worse I has someone with me that wasn't as strong minded as I am.
At some point in her life I'm convinced she was a Jehovah Witness ( the ones that ring your bell and go door to door and when some poor unsuspecting slob opens to see who is there they stick their foot in the door so they can't close it)
But i'm not a rude person in general and even less so with the ladies so if the girl just sticks around in her weird awkward way i find the most effective but least offensive way is to stand up and say "Well, it was nice meeting you", touch her arm or shoulder, shake her hand even, although this is not necessary, and walk to a different area of the club (near or to the stage, bar, bathroom, anywhere really, or better yet to a girl you are interested in) leaving her alone at the table. Your intent should be unmistakable but no emotional exchange is involved. If she has any sense at all, she won't approach you again.
Secondly, waiting for the girl you want to approach you is generally not effective unless you already communicated to her to find you later although even then girls often prefer to be found than do the finding.
Lame. Too bad two_bits wasn’t there to take her away from you.
When I tried this, she looked me straight in the eye and said OK daddy, we need to put that in my mouth. That's The Secret that TUSCL is trying to reveal. Or was it trying not to reveal? Dammit, the internet is hard. Just like my penis.