So, I was fuckin this tree, right, and a stripper I recognized from the club yelled down that I better find another tree because it was her first day at her new job as branch manager....
But seriously, between calls #37 and #38 tonight to my CF to see if I could make an appointment (don't worry, we have an agreement where if she's with a customer, I can try calling later - it's a Monday night, so I guess the club must be bumpin)
Anyway, I was over at Twitter as a plan b and read that more people are fucking trees -
Has anyone tried this? It sounds like a potentially good backup plan after encountering a ROB, but everything I have seen about it has been women. Any experiences to share? (Women, too, of course, but since I'm looking at paying down some bills, I am looking for more practical advice vs idealistic "ecosexuality's posthumanist tendencies queering our speciest model of belonging and fostering an environmentalism that is not foundationally anthropocentric nor steeped in reproductive futurism."
I mean, would one tape a CF's photo to a tree before fucking it, or more try to get into the how soft its bark is, say, if you have your eye on a birch? Also, what about the friction angle? Is this a strictly LDK-type activity? I remember reading about a guy barebacking a fence and being like "that just ain't me... those chain links look heinous!"
I considered getting a blowjob froma female Chestnut tree, but it turned out that her bark was worse than her bite.....