Those human moments...
Call.Me.Ishmael
Rhode Island
I'm sitting at the bar at my favorite club. A dancer who is not a CF (but I know her pretty well and get dances sometimes) walks over. I can tell from her body language that she's having a shit night. She sits on the stool next to mine and puts her head on my shoulder. She says nothing.
CMI: "So...?"
HER: "I just need a minute. This isn't a thing."
CMI: "Ummm..."
HER: "This really isn't... I just need a break."
After that, no talk, no hustle, just her sitting there. The bartender brings her a drink without being asked, but the dancer doesn't touch it. And that's how we stayed for 10, maybe 15 minutes.
Then she gets up and starts collecting her things from the bar.
CMI: "Should I--?"
HER: "Nope. I'm going home."
She gave me a quick hug and said "Thanks." and off she went.
Not the usual stripper story. I'm as cynical as the next guy about dancers, but everyone has crap days at work.
CMI: "So...?"
HER: "I just need a minute. This isn't a thing."
CMI: "Ummm..."
HER: "This really isn't... I just need a break."
After that, no talk, no hustle, just her sitting there. The bartender brings her a drink without being asked, but the dancer doesn't touch it. And that's how we stayed for 10, maybe 15 minutes.
Then she gets up and starts collecting her things from the bar.
CMI: "Should I--?"
HER: "Nope. I'm going home."
She gave me a quick hug and said "Thanks." and off she went.
Not the usual stripper story. I'm as cynical as the next guy about dancers, but everyone has crap days at work.
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64 comments
For me that would suck as she would be burning 15 minutes of my time with drama without the ultimate payoff. But I think CMI enjoyed the interaction, so all power to him.
Were you raised in an orphanage?
But the strip club is the one place where I can lay down those burdens and make it about me. I want to be entertained and, if the stars align, fuck a beautiful girl. If I do get sucked into some sob story, I usually have an agenda in letting it play out and quite often it is a hustle anyway.
If any of you enjoy a little dancer drama and maybe those special connections then so be it. It's your time and money to spend as you see fit. But my cup overfloweth already in the drama and human connection departments, so I use the club for purposes that suit me. My obligations extend to paying what I owe and treating dancers with kindness and dignity, but not to anything beyond that.
I'm such a wanna be cuck
On a given night, she'll sometimes come over and we'll get a drink, shoot the bull, and have a chuckle. Sometimes a couple of dances happen and sometimes they don't. I think she knows that there are other dancers who interest me more than her.
Could it have been some sort of a long con on her part? Sure. I guess. Anything is possible. But, both in the moment and this morning looking back on it, I strongly believe that she had the shittiest of shitty nights and needed a time out before leaving. And that's fine.
And, when she was ready to go, I got the strong impression that she was just *done*. She was appreciative, but clearly not in mood to take "work" home with her. And that's also fine.
I posted it here because it was a very non-standard moment in a strip club. Seemed like a good topic for discussion / debate.
We can do a draft and pick only the best of both sites.
Leaving the trash like Juice Rickdugan and SJG behind.
Based on the OP's description, pursuing that would seem predatory to me, not opportunistic.
And unless I skipped over it being said before besides being able to look at yourself in the mirror if for one moment the more predatory of the guys on here don't think the dancers talk about amongst themselves you're not thinking it through.
This is a club he is a regular........
But I'll be honest and say I wasn't really thinking in those terms at the time. My gut instinct was that I should just shut up and not think with my gonads (for once...).
If there's a SC benefit for me out of all this, then it's possible that a new dancer I like will ask about me in the dressing room, and this dancer from the story above will give me a thumbs up. Who knows? Also, the bartender bought me a drink after the dancer left, so I think she's on Team Ishmael. That can't hurt.
Rick posts on Stripperweb too, so he would probably be somewhat immune :p
Rick, I do have to wonder though. You definitely post with a different tone, and you seem to self censor yourself on stripperweb a little. Has a frequent SW user ever found your posting activity here?
I remember on my first shift ever, I got emotionally shaken because it was the first time a customer tried to finger me and I was caught off guard. He acted like I was a dumb ass for not letting him.
Luckily, there were three customers who were nice about me sitting at their table and behaving a similar way as the dancer in CMI’s post. It cheered me up a little, and I asked them what song they wanted me to dance to. Someone said Slayer as a joke and I accepted the challenge and did it.
When I made the request, the DJ said “are you fucking kidding me” but the club was slow so he allowed it. But the customers appreciated it and tipped me nicely on stage for it.
And then they told me that I was too sweet to be a dancer and that I should be a bartender instead or something. But thinking back on it, I beg to differ.
While I try not to cultivate an "I'm your safe space" vibe (as I said in another thread, I'm insidious lol), if elected, I am happy to serve for a short period.
I had one of these recently who, if I let her, would sit with me for an hour + and give me updates on her custody battle with a relative (who had full custody of her son) and other aspects of her life. Now this is a chick who I took OTC once many months ago, but I stopped because the experience wasn't great and she is a little crazy. Yet she felt comfortable enough to continue using me as her safe stop. After a couple of instances of this, the next time I just shut it down by telling her that I'd like to sit alone for a while. She looked a little hurt at first, but that's not my problem. What WAS my problem is that she was a buzz kill who was taking away time that I could spend exploring better options.
I told that last story at the risk of re-igniting Papi's accusations that I'm some kind of sociopath, lol, but it is what it is. In my experience, once a dancer starts taking a guy for granted enough that she expects emotional support from him, her entertainment value drops dramatically.
There's a difference between sharing a moment or taking a break vs being an emotional tampon. Ishmael's was the former, yours was the latter. His was something that shows comfort and compassion, yours more so drama filled and taxing. If you can't see the difference, maybe Papi's comments are closer to the truth than you'd like to admit.
Good luck to whatever works for you at the end of the day.
For you types who get worked up over any thought of conflict, maybe my rebuff would have been "dramatic and taxing", but not for me. It took me 20 seconds to get rid of her and then I didn't give it or her another thought. Much better in my view then sitting there for 15 minutes - which could have been more if she chose - being used as a comfort stop.
Below I will explain why and Rick is welcome to tell me if he thinks I’m wrong. I’m a pretty open minded person.
Rick Dugan strikes me as the kind of person who likes to view himself as different than he truly is.
For example, when I made my thread about “customers who like drama” he seemed to have a knee jerk reaction to shut down what I said and said that I am confusing a stripper’s reaction with customer intent.
I will be rewriting it (I’m just lazy) and I’ll definitely be more specific with my stuff for sure. But in the meantime, I will just go ahead and say that I suspect this guy is a huge stripper drama lover for sure.
Another point. This dude posts on Stripperweb all the time. Admittedly, he doesn’t say anything (potentotally offensive) on there that he would here. Now, he could just be there for insight but he already once said something to the effect of “pay no attention to the hens clucking when the rooster isn’t around.” So I don’t think he reads it for any insight.
I want to also make the disclaimer that I don’t really judge the behavior. Lots of customers enjoy it. On this discussion board, both GACA and Subraman have both been very honest about their love of stripper drama. *Especially* when it leads to them getting OTC at a favorable rate for them. They have a good system that works for them, and I will agree that it is effective.
Rick is in the same camp as them and loves it too. But at best he will claim he just puts up with it just for the favorable OTC.
But let’s face it, he selected the (custody battling) dancer for what she was and enjoyed her for her problematic ways.
Even taking his motives at face value, someone who is as skilled at reading people/situations would have known how to turn someone down in a more gentle manner. But let’s face it, he loved seeing the look of rejection in her eye. She was upset and he *enjoyed* stirring the pot.
I believe I said this a long time ago, Ricky is the guy who created the Ststem which the unstated question is always there, “what’s in it for me ?”
I also loathe stripper drama. And, if she had sat down next to me and started telling me tales of woe, then I would have reacted differently. If she had tried to coax me into a private room with a sob story, then I would have reacted differently. I hate that stuff. I don't have time for it and I shut it down quickly.
But, she made it abundantly clear from the first moment she arrived that she didn't want to talk at all. And she made it just as clear when she left that she wanted nothing from me. So, I guess the argument I'm making is that there's a difference between "stripper drama" (which is often overblown or entirely manufactured), and a young woman who is genuinely hurting about something. Both of those things can happen in a strip club, but I don't think the customers see the latter very often.
Regarding the time "wasted" ... meh. It's 15 minutes. I've spent hundreds of hours in strip clubs (errr ... thousands?) and I'm going to spend hundreds of hours more. So, I think I'll be fine. I mean, it's not like she massively inconvenienced me or burned through a ton of my resources.
As far as I can tell, all she needed was for me to treat her like a person and not be a dick for 15 minutes.
I wasn't talking about your reaction. I was referring to the "comfort stop." The girl in Ishmael's case wanted to escape and chill vs yours, who wanted to vent and drag you into her drama. For me, one is enjoyable, one is not. For some guys like both, others neither.
As far as your take on this, as I said before, to each his own. There are some guys who enjoy that type of interaction with dancers and it's their dime and time to spend how they see fit. I'm just not one of them so I shared an alternate viewpoint.
At a certain point, I reached the conclusion that she was being human with me, and all I had to do was be human right back at her ... and it lasted 15 minutes.
It was unusual, but it wasn't a chore.
But let’s face it, he selected the (custody battling) dancer for what she was and enjoyed her for her problematic ways."
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More than just a claim nicespice. But you are right that I do like girls like that sometimes when I can leverage it into a "connection" that leads to OTC. This girl fell into that camp, where she initially refused my OTC offers until I sat with her a couple of times. But once I took her out and learned that she was batshit crazy, I had no more use for her and, hence, no reason to listen to her prattle on about her life anymore.
What CMI experienced was a pure comfort stop. Again, cool beans, but even the girls who have been OTc with me 20 times and are very relaxed around me wouldn't dream of using me for that 'cause I'm not that guy. Again, this is no shot at CMI - he has his own particular thing and I have mine. Same could be said for each person on here and it's all good so long as they are not overtly trying to hurt the girls or otherwise mistreat them.
Glad I could clarify, even if it likely makes me look worse to you than your belief that I am just inconsistent. ;)
But you seem like a rational man. So I can’t blame you looking for a balance between the two.
Wouldn’t that force you to find higher drama dancers by default? (Easier to get them to make decisions emotionally?) Maybe you didn’t start out that way, but maybe you developed a taste for stripper drama? And that a lot of it is on autopilot?
Heck, I recall there was an accusation sent to you that you like druggies. I don’t quite remember if that was the truth or not.
I’m just having a hard time imagining you saying you don’t have the patience for it, when I think you do.
for example i like to buy houses, i dont care if the seller is going through a divorce or is selling due to medical bills. im going to leverage it, and make a profit. you can also tell when someone is using leverage on you.
https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…
I dropped it. We chatted a bit and then she excused herself (I think she saw a regular come in). Whatever it was, I'm pretty sure it wasn't a con or hustle.
It does seem that PLs fall into one of two categories: you either love women or despise them. Happy to be with CMI in the first category.
@CMI thank for the closure on the story
Have you ever massaged her feet after a long night? Stayed up so she can text you about the shitty shift she's having or how nasty the tricks are that night? Been there when she gets home and all she wants is a long hot shower? Ever hold her when she's having a bad comedown? Ever been there for someone after they turned their first trick and felt like shit? Know what a lot of them do or say after turning a trick? Yeah keep patting yourself on the back
I posted it because it was an unusual interaction between a customer and a stripper. She had a bad day at work. I don't know why. And I don't need to know why. But it was unusual because she broke out of her personna.
If any of that pisses you off, then that says more about you and your shitty outlook.