more atf updates....

6. Is the most likely.

Based in my experience, 5 seems most likely.

for addicts, 5 seems likely. They only come around for the money and whatever resources they can drain thru guilt and manipulation if not outright theft.

5 & 6.....Sorry max.

Take her to a Cavs game if they’re still alive when she gets out.

LOL don't be sorry...This is amusing to me...I gave her an easy out...I told her I was afraid her story of endless love was simply SS and not to be worried if it is.....and that she shouldn't be ashamed of it....I respect a good hustle....and that really is true...It's just been killing me how long this has been going on....I'm dying to know the resolution...
The budget has already been cut too...so I'm making this really easy...
She always said if it wasn't for the drugs, she'd fuck me for free....be my bf, live with me etc...
and part of me would certainly like that...But I've always maintained that is a fool's dream...and its probably more trouble than its worth...And on the flip side, why would she want to hang out with a guy like me anyway...other than the money...I've heard it all...You're really good looking, not like the other guys....I actually enjoy fucking you unlike the others...lol
If she does get out, stays clean, and still professes undying love, I will do something special for her for sure....I just don't have a lot of faith based on past experiences prior to her.
I will give her the fact that she's been 100% honest though up to now....something that shocks the hell out of me.

She prolly likes how you make her feel. So she's sincere there (as far as an addict can be at least). But the money's part of that whether she's honest with herself or not. She likes how your money makes her feel.

I think if she's serving time and paying her dues with the warrant, she's cleaning house and getting ready and getting it out of the way for someone. Prolly a BF. Sorry, Max.

hopefully a better one than the last.....

on the bright side she's introduced me to so many CF's, if we're done I'm going to be like a kid in a candy store....OTC pretty much guaranteed if I want it...

I’m going with 1, 2, 5 and 6. I’m not sure of the order -

I’d guess 1 then 5 - then 6 - then (when she hits rock bottom) 2?

I’m glad you don’t plan to buy her a car. But I’d go farther - and not even let her ride in your car. If any drugs or related items are on her - you could get in trouble.

6. They always go back to the abusive ex.

My ATF used to complain about her heroin-addicted ex-boyfriend who beat her. I once asked her why she always went back to him and why she liked him better than me. She replied, "The sex."

Yeah I have heard the same...She said she liked him because he was good looking...though she also said I was also good looking....she left him once before and went back to him when I "ditched her".

(I'm married and my wife had been telling me she wanted a divorce for years and never wanted to have sex....When I confronted and said lets do it, her she changed her mind and wanted to make the marriage work).

So to be honest, I ditched her first....But then after being back with him for a couple months, she ditched him again and came back to hanging out with me...after having him arrested for his warrants...He was "driving her and her housemates crazy"....

But of course then he came back from jail and has no where to stay so they let him stay with them again...and complain about him....She insists he was only staying there long enough to find a place. He even messaged me and said he had no problem with me and she was lucky to have me...of course I don't believe anything....He might have made an agreement to make peace with me....The net net of it is that he's been freeloading off the other two for the last couple months....Her housemate also insisted he was living separate from them...Though she told me they gave him drugs...Why would you give this freeloader drugs? really?

So I have been coming closer to separation now and consulting with attorney, making plans etc...and offered to possibly allow her to live with me though I really don't want to do that unless she's trying to live clean....
So either she will go back to the ex after jail.....or leave altogether.....or maybe talk to me...everyone seems to favor the ex, and my gut does as well...and honestly I'm probably better off on my own....this being an immense deep immersion learning experience....I might have to write a book after this..

Well i found out tonight shes been playing me against the bf all along. She told him we werent having sex and me that he was only staying around until he found a better place. Shes holding out for the BBD.

When she comes out of jail she's going to have a surprise. If she wants any money from me, itll be p4p only from now on.

7) she gets out of jail - goes on a drug-bender with her felon BF - they run out of drugs - she calls you telling you she wants to see you - your dick tells you it's a good idea - you shoe up - in their high-state they try to rob you for more drug $$$ and they end up killing you - she goes to jail for a lot longer than a week or two

Sweet.... no I've actually talked to the boyfriend now and a housemate of hers now and I've discovered her whole entire plot...shes just looking for the BBD...when she gets out she'll have a choice to make. Though she wants anything for me anymore it'll be p4p.

I love it when a plan comes together

^ "If she wants any money from me, itll be p4p only from now on."

You are a masochist. Why keep her around at all. You will just get sucked in again to her manipulations.

It’s good you’ve discovered all this information before she gets out. You’ve been able to come up with a plan. Now you just need to be ready for everything that seems logical - to fall to shit - as logical choices don’t exist in her world.

Max, I would take Papi's post much more seriously than you did. I would say nothing period. She is obviously and addict and a con. So is her BF. I knew a stripper who seemed to be very cool. I was going to do OTC, just never happened. She is now in jail for exactly the plot Papi described. You can find another to satisfy your needs. I would say good bye forever.

When I see situations like this escalate I always wonder what came first the stripping or the lack of truthfulness and ability to con.

Ditto what @RTP and @Papi_Chulo posted. The OTC and sex outside of marriage isn't really THAT BAD in the grand scheme of things. But messing with addicts, esp. if these are heroin addicts, IS BAD. They just want your money and family experience is when you cut them off (or if you run out of money, same thing) the addict will turn NASTY and you'll have a nightmare on your (and your wife's) hands. I'd distance myself from any heroin addict. But that's just IME.

No good deed goes unpunished.

max_starr, no disrespect, but would you really want #4?

Max, we need to PM founder to change your screen name to Gawker_Part_Duh. ;)

A girl you meet in a strip club is supposed to be entertainment and nothing more. It is, for her, a commercial transaction and always will be. You're looking in the wrong place to replace the affection that is missing from your life. Whatever affection a stripper gives you is not real and only lasts as long as your usefulness to her. I have no doubt that the drama she brings, and her seeming need for you, fills some void and makes you feel good, but it is all illusory. Sooner or later, she will fuck you over, no doubt after draining you of lots o' cash in the process.

Time to cowboy up, get rid of the burden, and find something else to stick your dick in for a while. Maybe it's time to move the separation forward and to start dating again in the real world.

Oh, 5 and 6 is my vote btw. Until she needs something again, then she'll come back, have a little sex with you and fill your head with a lot of nonsense and take a lot of your money. then she'll disappear until she needs something again.

You are wise @rick. The addict dancers are master manipulators and @max is in a vulnerable place emotionally. @max, I'd look to fill the void, then with that addressed, see if SCs even fit a need in your life as edgy adult entertainment at that point.

^I think that anyone who spends as much time as many of us do in strip clubs has seen this unfold a bunch of times. I've even had favorites joke about lonely guys (including divorcees) who they soak dry by stringing them along emotionally.

But I was also fortunate so see it first hand during my beginning time in this hobby. A close friend and I were both getting divorced around the same time and we started hanging out together. Unfortunately for him, he developed a taste for expensive strip clubs and got hooked on one particular stripper, who masterfully strung him along with a romance hustle while soaking him dry, credit cards included. Her hustle included things like faux civvie dates and even having him over for Thanksgiving dinner the first year that he could not share the holiday with his children. Once he was broke and contemplating bankruptcy, she even "broke up" with elegance and grace. I rode his coattails during some of those club nights and it was a sight to behold - she was a master of the craft like I rarely see nowadays.

I never forgot the lessons I learned from that time, circa the late 90s, and what I've seen since with other girls and their romance hustles only reinforced these lessons. I was very fortunate to get that first lesson, mostly at someone else's expense (though riding this dude's coattails got expensive on a few nights), when I did.

I was being facetious with my post - sure anything can happen but what Dugan described is the most-likely scenario

I appreciate Dugan’s insights. Those are painful (and expensive) lessons to learn.

In my view - the pl is very complicit in this process - as the pl wants to believe the stripper shit in many cases. Pl’s will continue to pay to hear stripper shit - as pl’s are adults - who aren’t 18 or 21 year olds.

It’s very easy to enjoy the ride - as your marriage goes to shit - as your bank account goes to shit - as you step outside of your normal life - and think that all this shit is an improvement. It’s not - it’s just part of being roped in - and part of losing your shit to a hot piece of ass who doesn’t give a fuck about you.

There is no good to come of this. But that doesn’t seem to make a difference when there’s pussy staring you in the face!

I thank everyone for their thoughts...I have let her know (via letter because she's in jail detoxing), that I'm on to her game....She was telling her bf and myself the same thing....that she wasn't with the other guy .... playing us against each other...obviously on my end for the money...Him she feels bad for and just likes his dick...

This is why I chose to measure what I spent and made sure i didn't destroy myself financially...and why I'll post updates on my adventures so i can get feedback and not end up like gawker and some others...
I do PM several members too about these things including gawker.

I have learned a lot, hopefully I can spend 90-95% less in the future..while still enjoying SC's and possible an OTC or two.

I have made quite a few club friends who treat me pretty well and don't even ask for money, so I've gained a bunch of crazy chicks I can talk to as well....

Lol Jackslash.

Last night....I get calls from her housemate and her ex? bf......begging me not to bond her out...apparently she's calling everyone trying to get out now...She tries to call me last night but I can't talk to her with my wife sitting next to me lol...I told her housemate/friend and her ex I won't be bonding her out...even though its only like $900

Today she calls me begging to bond her out...She says she'll come and live with me in an apartment...But she says she's going right back to using....Well, i am talking with an attorney about divorce and my wife and I will likely be splitting soon, but I'm not read to just up and walk out like that...I have kids and I have responsibilities etc. regardless of what I'd like to do... And as an ex addict...Do I really want to be exposed daily all day to someone using?

I tell her no I'm not going to bond you out...She's trying to guilt trip me...She says she'll fuck me as soon as she's out...I tell her thats not going to work on me...I'm not a 15 year old boy. She threatens not to talk to me again...Man she's really desperate to get out and use again...So I tell her I'm at work, and I can't leave...and everyone would hate me, and I don't want to see her use...All the excuses....So then she says how about I have my friend come and get the money and he can bond me out then no one will blame you? Well, I talk to her friend and he and I decide its not going to happen....Hopefully she can't find anyone else....because like he said, she has many people she could tap, but luckily doesn't have the phone#'s available to her in jail. Anyway i tell her I'll think about it...she just responds angrily...and I tell her whats wrong with doing the time and getting time served? She says if you were in there I'd come and get you right out...hmm....with what money?

Maybe I shouldn't have put that money on her phone and commissary....But I did...

In my view - you have your own issues to deal with right now. It’s highly selfish of her to put her addiction above your issues.

Also, since you are a recovering addict - her telling you that she’s going right back to using - is also highly selfish (if she wants to move in) as that’s not good for your sobriety. Regardless of being able to fuck her - the easy access to her drugs is a huge temptation.

Sadly - the laser focus an addict maintains on drugs - is extremely dangerous as it’s all she cares about. She’ll make promises out the kazoo - that she has no ability to fulfill - just to get out and to get drugs.

yeah its sad she won't even make an attempt to stay off them....I tried many times when I was younger until I was successful finally....If you don't try, you can't get clean imo.

Kids, interesting. That was a new addition to the story.

So in a nutshell, you are preparing to leave your family so that you can live the free life and immerse yourself in stripper drama for a while? You're going to fuck up your kids for the rest of their lives so that you are free to mess around with girls barely more than kids themselves?

Most guys who have the financial resources simply find play things to help alleviate the natural decline of sex at the house, especially when their wives hit menopause. They don't let these girls into their lives in any meaningful way because what's important in their lives are their families and the lives they've built. You can count me as one of these guys and no stripper that knows me at all would dream of calling me with her drama, even ones who I fuck regularly and otherwise enjoy my time with.

But not you. I've seen your type many times before. Self absorption and drama seeking behavior are the hallmarks of people with addictive personality issues. So it comes as no surprise that you feel the need to wallow in this stripper's drama and to keep making yourself a part of her story. I smell a downward spiral on the horizon. If you go through with this, you'll eventually be using again, whether with this chick or another one.

But good luck I suppose.

How can you possibly not bond her out. This has the potential to be a wild ride they write movies about (or at least Penthouse Forums or TUSCL articles).

Thanks @rickdugan for what I need to hear...What I already know...

How could I not possibly bond her out, easy...
plus I already promised 2 people i wouldn't so I have an excuse.

I need to remember why I originally hooked up....

I wasn't getting sex at home for the last five years...The wife yelled and screamed at me she wanted a divorce....I felt our arguments were affecting the children....Someone in recovery said, go take care of yourself sexually or else you'll go use again...(but not to leave)

I go to the club...meet this girl....instead of just OTC she's all like "I'm in love with you"
I don't believe her, but she's with me a lot....way too much in fact...She seems genuine and sincere, but I'm sure its the dope talking...and even if she is sincere, she's not emotionally mature enough to do what she says she'll do and try to get off dope. Unfortunately for me, the sex is phenomenal beyond my wildest expectations....Hanging out with her and her stripper friends, and other friends is giving me an adrenaline high....
So what am I doing? I'm using sex and using their lifestyle to get a high....I don't feel a need to wallow in her drama, but I probably fit the addictive personality piece.

After finding out about this my wife no longer wants a divorce and wants to have sex all the time...Talk about some fucked up therapy...She never wanted to go to marriage counseling before, she just wanted to control me...
So really I need to work on what I'm going to do with her possibly through counseling because we still have the argument issues and each of us has our own psych issues....

and leave the needy stripper alone....