Is this stripper down for OTC or am I being strung along?

She used you for a ride home, plain and simple.

The problem is that you're trying to treat her like a civilian girl and take her on a date. She already made it clear that she isn't interested in you that way when she gave you the line about not normally getting food with customers. If she was into you that way, she never would have said that goofy shit to you.

So you're in commercial space with her. If you want to fuck her, just make her a cash offer. If you want her to spend time with you eating, etc., outside the club, you'll probably need to spend more than 3-500 per month on her.

He said 3-500 each time, which is per week, not month

Yes you're being strung along. You essentially have a platonic sugar baby at a cost of up to $2000/month.

Don't listen to those jealous Debbie Downers.

I think she looks at you as something other than an OTC payday. It's obvious that she enjoys spending time with you. If she was just taking advantage she wouldn't have offered gas money.

Some girls need to take it slow when they are looking to build a BF/GF relationship because they need to know that you don't look at her as just a ho. Keep at it and let us know how it plays out.

Is that what you learned with your fellow nursing-home girls, @Flag?

I'm not so sure I agree with the others. She has some level of trust in you by letting you know where she lives. I wouldn't write off OTC yet. I would see her again in the club and just be very direct about where you want things to go. Tell her you're interested, but don't want to misinterpret her intentions. If you end up just giving her another ride home, then you can let reality sink in and cut the OTC cord. Then the question is how much you still want to see her ITC.

The three phases of stripper relationships

1. She really likes me
2. She’s practically my girlfriend
3. OMG, she’s been using me all along.

Grow a set and tell her clearly what you want. Don't say you want to buy her breakfast and expect her to understand you want to fuck her. I am not advocating being crude but politely tellher what you want.

@Random the inhabitants of the Sunnyvale nursing home overwhelmingly agree with @flagooner, and for the record we are not being facetious. ;)

“Make it up to you” means she’s going to go get food with you eventually, not that she’s going to give you a BJ in your car.

You’re already spending a ton of money on her inside the club so there’s not much of an incentive for her to meet you outside the club.

abq posted: ---> He said 3-500 each time, which is per week, not month

Fair point abq - I read through that part too fast. I still believe that she used him for a ride and that she isn't interested in hanging with him socially. At this stage, it's probably past time for him to leverage his spending to move her to OTC p4p, unless of course he's already creeped her out with his neediness (she kept apologizing for a reason).

The girls know that once a guy asks for OTC, the end timer on the ITC relationship has started -- it's just a matter of time until she other goes OTC with you, or you move on to another girl. So economically, the smart thing to do is get you confused and hopeful and keep you on the hook and paying her for as long as you'll tolerate it. She did that masterfully, plus she got you to give her a ride home to boot!

No idea whether she'll ever go OTC with you. If your OTC consists of taking her to breakfast and then home, I think that might eventually happen -- hell, you've already done half of that already! For $500/week, she'll find a way to let you buy her a Grand Slam breakfast one day.

But if you want OTC sex the way all the rest of us do.. I'll tell you what I don't do when I'm pursuing OTC. I don't do namby-pamby "what are you doing after your shift?". I don't give her a lecture about how she shouldn't feel pressured (I assure you she will look after own pressure just fine; besides, she better damn well feel some pressure regarding ANYTHING about a guy giving her $500 a week). She tells me she has to be home at 7:30, "oh, another time when you have more time then, thanks for considering it!". Next time, be a lot more direct -- "would you be willing to meet me for dinner and drinks, I'll grab a hotel room after?" is how I usually start (many of the guys here are much more direct than that and would call my opening line too weak). But all of that makes sense only if you haven't already developed an unhealthy crush on her, which I'm 100% certain you have.

Sorry, to answer your question directly:

-->"My question is: am I being strung along here, or do I genuinely have a chance at an OTC?"

She will string you along if she thinks she can. You do NOT have a genuine chance at OTC unless you assert yourself a whole lot more. Tell her what you want, in whatever fits your personality, but it has to be clear what you're asking for. You cannot come in super super super weak, have her manipulate you, and then draw conclusions about what will happen. Come in direct and confident, then you'll find out if you'll get OTC or not.

-->"Also, when she brought up the massage, was that a hint for me to make a move?"

She's not a civilian date, there's no move making here. If you like the idea of massaging her, ask her if you can massage her. Just keep in mind that THAT is not an indication of whether you'll get OTC either ... it is, in fact, a way for her to give you a little thrill that will keep you hopeful and appease you for a while, so you can keep coming in and giving her $500

She was stringing you along.

1. She told you she doesn't usually get food with (lone male) customers, which means she's no way doing anything more OTC if that's what you're looking for.
2. She tells you the 730 story knowing that's not enough time for any action to happen.
3. Right at closing there's a mix up because you failed to get the earlier hints.
4. She keeps apologizing bc she doesn't want to lose you as a 2k/mo customer.

The biggest problem I see from all this is this: You have trouble being clear with what you want. Is all you want is breakfast, or is there something more?? There's nothing wrong with wanting to just spend time with her OTC IF that's what you want. The "no pressure" and "only if you're comfortable with it" comment leaves too much ambiguity to what you really want.

My 0.02. Good luck.

You're a stripper's dream customer.

Meaning, yes. You're being strung along, and providing free Uber services.

If you see her at the club, quickly try to make some sort of outside contact happen.

Don't get into pulling the petals off the daisy, "She loves me...She loves me not...She loves me...She loves me not".

And the more civilian you can keep it all the better. With most civvilian dates the parties have talked very little, and if it goes well, they'll be waking up in the morning together.

SJG

You are approaching this all wrong. Do exactly what K says. Trust me, I’ve done this a lot. Most likely you are never going to fuck this girl but you need to find out quickly if that’s the case

And next time stop with the treating them like a girlfriend. She’s a sex worker. Make clear exactly what you want in a clear, concise, non-creepy, and confident way. Do not wait a long time and then start out with something lame like get breakfast. Nothing wrong with breakfast but you need to be inside her orifices before and/or after the meal.

damn. i think you got a good possibility with her. butt first... pull back some. cut your spending on her in half. see where it goes from there. but allways... she is a stripper girl. don’t get carried away with ‘love’ and ‘ she only does it with me.’

--@Subra: "The girls know that once a guy asks for OTC, the end timer on the ITC relationship has started."

So true. I'm just starting to dip my toe in OTC water, and dancer I'd spent money on several times when I asked for OTC, first thing out of her mouth was a guarded, "yes but you'll still come see me ITC right?"

Are you being strung along? Yes. Is OTC viable with her? Possibly, but like others have said, be more direct in the request and you'll be closer to finding out. Unless of course you're really satisfied with friend zone breakfast.

My own playbook.....After high mileage and dfk....I simply ask them do you want to have sex with me? Or when i've been really daring "are you down to fuck?" I never mention anything about payment, that's a given.....My fav little game has been to just wait until after sex and never even offer to pay...I always get "what are you going to give me?" LOL and then we haggle...

^that is a bit mean and I bet it doesn’t get very many repeat sessions.

I know these girls very well and they love me...I take them to lunch, shopping sometimes for clothes, food...and I usually give them 300....so I could in theory spend 600 in a day....I haven't had any complaints.

it's just me fucking with them a little because my atf told me I didn't have to pay her....then she says later, but it would be really really nice if you did....lol...of course I'm going to pay you baby.

so I started doing that to a few of them....they know they're getting paid....

It all started one day when my atf introduced me at the club as "her girlfriend" to a few other strippers...then she went and grabbed the hottest one for a dual dance....and later a threesome...so I said, boyfriend??? that means free right? lol

nice that you are generous. butt bottom line... are you gettin it free? good luck sir if yer not a attractive celebrity or rich.

You are being strung along. She isn’t going to have breakfast with you. Her idea of making it up to you is exactly what happened - she offered you gas money. She’s got no interest in fucking you.

If you want to fuck her - you must offer cash on your next visit. Offer to pay to fuck her - and if she doesn’t take the offer - you know it’s a waste of your time and money.

Don’t worry - there are lots of hot dancers out there who need money - and who will ride you like their lives depend on it! Move on - and find a filthy girl who is in need of cash - and who doesn’t care about breakfast!

Listen to cashman! and the others...No I am getting anything for free...I'm a de facto sugar daddy to my atf....and sometimes extra money for one of her housemates or a co-worker...

Don't listen to these guys. They are obviously jaded to true love.

^the flag man, encouraging RIL-dom to ears that itch for it.

Jeezus! $500 per week? You must be fukk ugly and awkward. You can go to the mall or college and fukk 80% of the women for 500 bucks.

Are u at least getting a hj itc?

I don’t even have to read this thread to know you’re being strung along.

Larry, you are a douche.

The money women get in P4P is more like back end insurance.

roylin007, its more like you are stringing her along. It is at great cost, buy you have not moved to get into bed outside.

SJG

In the simplest of terms, if you gotta ask if you are being strung-along, then 99%-chance you are.

"... The problem is that you're trying to treat her like a civilian ..."

Pretty-much this - a common-mistake most of us make as newb PLs.

Strip-clubs are bizarro-world, not the real-world - it's business not a hook-up place or as we say around-here at times "not a girlfriend supermarket" - custies go to the clubs to pay the girls for attention, and the girls give custies attention to get paid - it's BUSINE$$.

It's their job to make you think they are into you - that's what the good/successful dancers do and do-well - dancers are there for one-reason and one-reason only, to make $$$ (w/ rare-exceptions) - strip-clubs are expensive and it's often not easy to get custies to cough-up the $$$; thus dancers gotta "turn on the charm" and do w/e they gotta do to get paid (lie; pretend; string-along; etc) - it's a competitive environment and a girl can go home empty-handed after a 6-hr shift if she does not pull w/e strings need to be pulled to close the sale(s).

First and foremost, you have to be clear on what you want which a lot of newbs often are not:

a) do you want to date-her non P4P b) do you mainly just wanna get in her pants c) or you just "wanna hang"

a) very uncommon for strippers to become girlfriends - plus custies and strippers "relationships" usually don't work out - experienced SCers are usually well-aware of this and avoid going down this road

b) if you really just wanna fuck-her, then be direct but not necessarily crass about-it - these chicks are asked for sex as often as a barista is asked for a latte - kinda goes w/ the territory - again, strip-clubs are business and it's a sex-business

c) if you just wanna hang, then it's doubtful she'll be interested - again they are there to make $$$ not hang-out w/ custies outside the club - just b/c they make it seem like they are into you or enjoying your company, it's all geared towards the bottom-line of getting you to spend on them - most of these girls already have a man, and many lead topsy-turvy lives outside the club and don't have the bandwidth to hang w/ "a cool customer" - in the end, in strip-clubs you are only as good as your $$$ and the only variable is knowing how to get what you want/the-most for your $$$

Below is a good TUSCL article written by an experienced SCer:

tuscl.net