Regulars

Yes it is possible to date strippers. I define dating a stripper as “a stripper that spends time and has sex with me and expects nothing in return.” i.e. “I don’t have to pay nothin’ to smash the punany.” Only true PLs like myself are too dumb to realize we are paying for it in the long run.

I might be disappointed, but I don't get upset because I have been the guy a dancer hangs out with for a long time. So I'm not gonna hate on someone else. As a person clubs more and gets experience you learn how to navigate these dynamics.

Going up to a stripper and customer who are clearly with each other seems like a terrible idea to me. Just because no one has punched you yet doesn't mean it is acceptable behavior.

As far as the statement:
"if some dude is getting in the way of her making money then she needs a new dude"
It really isn't your place to dictate how a dancer spends her time.

I agree with PaulDrake about approaching a customer and a stripper. I usually just wait if I really want to get a dance from that dancer or speak to her or something.

Regulars usually frustrate me when I'm out of town (seldom) in some new strip club and only can make that one visit. Otherwise, it is what it is. I'm usually saving money when I'm local and most dancers arent working the floor or tied up with a regular or friend.

As the guy who is the regular who bogarts a stripper for a few hours straight, it usually doesn't bother me if another PL tries to get her. Hell, I don't blame him, I have good taste! lol ... on the other hand, I tend to agree with PaulDrake, the fact that you haven't gotten into any trouble yet, doesn't mean it's a good idea. On the OTHER other hand, I think it's all about how you handle it and ask. It sounds like you keep it light and come of respectfully, as if you're asking the customer, I have to imagine that defuses most bad feelings before they start. I think it takes the minimum RDA of personality and charm to come off that non-threatening -- not everyone reading this might be able to pull that off.

It might be your approach - but I don’t recommend chatting up a guy who is locking down a stripper.

I must be an exception - as I don’t care about strippers getting locked down. There is good variety in strippers - and if one is busy - I’m happy to try another. Variety makes it great!

If I was with a dancer and a patron came up to me to ask if she is available, I personally don't see an issue. I do have an issue if a patron came up to the dancer to ask if she was available when I'm with that dancer. That's a totally different situation. I don't think I've ever had a situation where I was with a dancer and a patron came up to either of us

You could eventually run into a problem with a patron who has an issue with the former

If I'm actively talking to a dancer while sitting at the bar, I'm probably buying her drinks and may be tipping her a ten her and there. Even so, at the bar she is free game because...well..it's a strip club.

I would be annoyed if a PL asked me her availability in that scenario but I wouldn't get fired up about it. Doing that shit with a dancer I'm sitting at a table with may have a different outcome.

As polite and non-threatening as you're coming off, not all guys may see it that way. Some guys are overly possessive like that, so tread carefully esp. if you're trying to talk to the girl. There's a right way and a wrong way to do it. Know how to handle both should it arise.

i guess this really shows just how much a newbie i am. a number of things to consider. i’ve never have had the guts to ask.

@justme

It's not just about being able to ask, but how, when, and who you can broach the subject to. Some guys may take heavy offense to it, some more so if you do it the wrong way, and some even more so if you do it at the wrong time. The advice is 'don't', unless you know what you're doing.

justme: my strong counsel would be not to ask. She's with another customer, just stay away and find another girl ... or catch her when she's broken away, walking to the bathroom, or on stage maybe. It's not a good idea, it's a bad idea that OP is getting away with

Either tip her and express your interest n she I on stage, or if she just looks like she is hanging out, have a waitress or shot girl whisper in her ear.

Everyone hates regulars, until you're the regular.

I'd never approach a regular with a dancer. Even if you're the most polite, non-threatening guy in the world, you'll eventually run into that one guy who loves confrontation and takes every possible chance to get in a fight.

thanks bubba for reminding me of the waitress/ shot girl whispering in her ear. i have done that a couple times.

I've only once tried to pry a dancer away from a guy. Was like 6 months ago and a girl I'd never been with but had my eye on and wanted to get some dances cuz it was nearing closing time. She was standing at bar with guy she'd just finished a room with and I asked floor manager I'm acquainted with to whisper to her there's someone else waiting for you. She deferred to guy she was with and the said no I wanna still hang out, so didn't get with her that night but no big deal I was in same town a few more days and went back next night and got what I wanted. Wish I'd thought of asking the waitress/shot girl to whisper to her, woulda been more sexy even though it would've resulted in same no answer (I'll remember that next time). All that to say, I don't speak directly to girls when they're clearly taken, but if it's a girl I know and want to pry away I'll brush past and touch her or make eye contact and most often a few minutes later she's at my table instead and if not no big deal I'm off to the next girl that interests me.

Fast forward with the original girl who I now could label a CF - it amuses me when some guy cruises by table we're at and greets her with goal to pry her away cuz I know she won't be leaving and he'll be cooling his heels til I'm done which is probably closing time anyway. It's never been more than a 2 sentence greeting - if it persisted longer than that I'd tell him to shove off. Or on the other hand if she did depart she'd likely lose CF status and the coin that accompanies it.

Remember the Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules.

Let me clarify: I don't approach them or interrupt them or otherwise get in the way, but if there's an opening I may take it. If a dancer is making eye contact with or smiling at a guy when she's sitting with one then she's available, if you're making small talk with a guy-with-a-girl then he's likely cool and won't flinch if the notion of that girl spending time with someone else comes up.

The strip club is a gentlemen's refuge, perhaps one of the few remaining. Everybody is there to have fun. If you're disrespectful to a woman or a couple in a nightclub or a restaurant or some other square social setting then you probably deserve what's about to come your way. But in a strip club everything is fair game. Just be cool about it. Relax. That's why we're there in the first place. Have fun.

It’s best to use the bartender, a waitress, or the dj, as a go between. Have the bartender or waitress let her know you’d like a dance, if she can spare a few minutes. The dj can have a girl come over to their booth, but you’ll prolly need to tip for that, and she still probably won’t give you a dance right then. I’d save that for a vip, or several dances.

I think Bj is right if you want to pursue a situation like that. But I’d really rather find another stripper who is available.

If you can’t exist without a dance from a particular occupied dancer - then I agree with Bj99 and Huntsman.

But I’d strongly recommend enjoying the variety in the club - and finding an unoccupied hottie.

@IntheCut - If literally everyone is telling you something is a bad idea... it's a bad idea. Just because you think it's cool it is probably hurting other people's experience and causing drama.

-->"But in a strip club everything is fair game. Just be cool about it. Relax. That's why we're there in the first place. Have fun."

I don't think you have to tell us that -- most of the people who responded here didn't seem very concerned if another customer approached their stripper; annoyed, maybe, but no big deal. But it might not be us who you have to worry about. Men are at their worst where sex, alcohol, and ego mix. Here's a true story I heard from a former ATF. She and another stripper went to Vegas with stripper #2's brother, to celebrate brother's birthday with him. They went to a strip club together, all as customers, so the girls basically just look like hot partygirl civilians. At one point brother is at stage tipping, and some other customers start buying the two girls drinks, and the girls join those guys at their table, they are drinking together and having fun. Eventually, brother wanders back, sees his sister and her friend at the other customers' table, wanders over to talk to them. One of the other customers is not happy -- without stopping to hear any explanation, he pops the brother, who ends up with a broken jaw. Just like that. Now, I heard all of this second-hand, so don't know details; I can guess that the brother thought he'd walk over, say his to his sister, explain that he was her brother not a competing customer, and that would be that -- instead, he got his jaw wired shut for a while, from a drunk guy who was not in a mindset to listen to any explanation as to why the brother approached that table and talked to "their" girls.

Anyway, as I said, if you read all the signs correctly, *and* you have the personality and charm to disarm even a hostile customer, perhaps you'll mostly get lucky and not run into a break-jaws-and-ask-questions-later type. Or maybe someday you will, I dunno. But for me, "Relax... have fun" means not doing anything that could fuck up my good time, and I think for most of us, focusing on a stripper who is with a customer rather than finding a different stripper, using a staff intermediary, or just catching her when she's on stage or otherwise disengaged from the customer, is just not the right play.

If you have good de-escalation techniques, then you can probably get away with doing this. I still think it's a bit rude. Just look for another dancer that's not preoccupied

Wow! I know TUSCL is meant to be a supportive environment so I won't be critical. Some of you are misunderstanding what I'm saying. Some of you would no longer have wasted trips to the strip club if you would look for openings and take them and use strip club etiquette to your advantage.

Anyway, I'm done, I'll have fun for all of us.

Have to let the women handle things their own way, otherwise something like a strip club would be impossible.

Whatever they do, they must have their reasons. Have to let them do it.

Farmerart wrote about an older dancer sitting at a table with some younger guys. This was a group of younger guys which she did not know. Unlikely they had any real interest in her. So he put a Hamilton into her cleavage. She jumped up, and things quickly escalated to the dance booth and DFKing, and then to the motel room and waking up together the next morning.

That way is fine, as she was not with anyone, and he wasn't really interfering. And he knew what he wanted to make happen.

:) :) :)

SJG

If I am with one of my regular dancers and she gets an offer to make more money than I ma going to pay, then off she goes with my blessing. There's always another dancer, or another day and since I like all the dancers I sit with, I want them to earn money.