At what point do I become a Sex Addict ?

If you are changing your business model, it’s time to slow down.

My therapist says I am one. I say, "what's the problem?" I'm seeing a bankruptcy attorney next month.

You're going to hear a wide variety of opinions. Especially from a bunch of guys who aren't clinical psychologists. Also, keep in mind that a good chunk of guys on this board are probably on the sex addict spectrum somewhere (or at least borderline).

That said...

My litmus test is whether or not it's negatively affecting my quality of life and stress levels. I would also examine whether your drive comes from a sense of fun or compulsion.

I would also ask if your monger activities inhibit your ability to do other things you enjoy or spend time with your friends and family. That's specifically a time and money question.

But yeah... take all the feedback you get here with a grain of salt.

I think that gawker pretty much said what I said, but more succinct.

Oh shit. I just realized that I can’t stop breathing. I do it constantly. Every minute of every day. And I can’t stop for more than a minute or two, then I just start breathing again. Apparently I’m addicted to oxygen.

Sex, like oxygen, is a biological necessity. Therefore you aren’t addicted just because you do it frequently and can’t stop. The same can be said of eating, drinking, breathing etc. As long as youre happy and it works for you then keep doin it. It at any point of find that your mongering activities are having an overall negative impact on your life then it’s time to change.

I think “addict” implies that what you’re addicted to is adversely affecting your life. If you simply enjoy sex and strip clubs it doesn’t mean you’re addicted. If you’re going broke and screwing up the rest of your life you’re addicted.

My whole life I've enjoyed strip clubs and sex....but did so in moderation...one month out of my life I let it turn into a daily affair with CF's and an ATF who I almost moved in with me...though the amount of money I was spending was not a sustainable amount by any means. I'm glad it only lasted a month. I think if you can maintain your lifestyle and budget then you're probably ok. If it interferes with your job, finances, family life to the extreme then you may have a problem.

That's a hard question to answer - as JS mentioned, sex is a biological need and studies supposedly conclude that men with an active sex-life live longer and healthier.

There are folks in relationships that have sex everyday with their S.O. I doubt anyone would classify them as addicts or tell them to slow-down.

If your life around you starts being severely negatively affected, then you need to change course.

Not meeting the need may be as bad if not more problematic - the only thing I question is whether you're artificially adding fuel to the fire by watching porn everyday, this may be artificially increasing your hornyness level beyond your normal level - of course watching porn is gonna rev you up more than your normal level and cause you to perhaps over do it more than you really need.

Definition of addiction: to continue to engage in behavior that has clearly harmful effects on you, your family, or others; where these effects are either ignored, minimized, or denied.

This is not a " please help me " post. I really don't think I am. I think about sex a lot and make lots of plans around getting some. But I'm just curious what the signs are of having a problem. Don't want to find out I have a problem when I'm talking to my bankruptcy attorney.

Fucking is always good except when it fucks up the rest of your life.

Like Ishmael said, we are not clinical psychologists. I chime in, as do others, because it’s free to do so and anonymous internet entertainment. So my best answer is, which deserves a big grain of salt, is if you’re having fun with no significant adverse consequence, keep going. If you find yourself asking “why the fuck am I doing this so much?”, slow down.

I think it's not an addiction as long as it does not severely affect your health. If you just stayed at home all day, didn't eat, didn't exercise, didn't sleep, just watched porn all day long and ejaculated as often as possible... then you're an addict. But if you eat healthy, exercise, sleep well, and are generally happy with life, then you're not an addict.

If you spend so much money that you go bankrupt, become a hobo, and beg for money on the streets until you die of starvation... then you were an addict. hintJS69hint.

At a certain point in life, a man just needs to learn to accept what he is. If that includes certain self destructive tendencies, then that man needs to find ways to safely manage them.

Sounds to me like you have a problem. I would recommend setting some boundaries.

I don’t know the true definition of how to identify a sex addict. It might be like the old porn definition - I know it when I see it...

I think you are just really horny. You really like fucking - and want to get all the pussy you can. Nothing wrong with that.

You may be a functioning sex addict. You take in more porn and SCs than what's considered average, but you cope with it and still live your life. On the other hand, is it any different than a guy who golfs 3 times a week and on Sundays? Not really. If you enjoy your time, can afford it, and it's how you'd choose to spend your money, then no harm no foul. If however, you're one of those dudes who somehow manages to blow $2K in an evening without intending to, and come home to a mortgage not paid and your wife's lawyer waiting for you, then you may have a problem.

I'm of the opinion if you enjoy it and it's something you want to do, and can do it while maintaining your life otherwise, to go for it.

The fact that you are questioning your actions should simultaneously give you hope for your future and cause for concern.

To avoid slipping into a place where hobby becomes compulsion becomes addiction, one must possess a sense of self-evaluation. Bravo to you. You are examining yourself -- a good sign.

The fact that you are examining yourself, though, is an indication that, at some level, your sense that your hobby is taking control. Not good.

Others have already given great advice. If your compulsion rises to the level that it is adversely affecting other areas of your life (work, health, finances, responsibilities, relationships, etc.), probably best to cool it and check yourself. If you can take a break without freaking out, maybe you're fine. Unfortunately, in many cases, we don't recognize that the train is leaving the tracks until the train leaves the tracks.

Priorities. I know I'm a sex addict and I don't need my life to fall apart to tell me. Sex, and not just ordinary sex, is what drives my entire decision making practically. I get a job keep a job because it affords me to have Sex. If having a job limited my sex option then I'm not working.

I don't enjoy anything else nearly as much as sex the novelty, the deviance, the excitement, and The release of natural chemical.

Ya I'm a junkie when it comes this.

So why not set a boundary? Even something small? What's the average you go to the club in a week, set just above that as a limit.

At least one of us IS a licensed counselor. Most of you got it right anyway. As long as the action is not causing pain or loss or injury to you or to others then it is a lifestyle or an interest. Maybe you are more into it then others but an addiction is when it overtakes your rational mind and starts to lead really bad decisions. If you are spending more money than you can afford on this hobby that us a not a good sign.If you relations (wife) are suffering that is not a good sign. Lack of sleep and anxiety are other good indicators of addiction. Otherwise have fun and keep a lid on it.

Puberty!

Chris Rock used to say "a man is only as faithful as his options".

Perhaps something similar can be stated w.r.t. getting sex - seems many/most guys don't get all the sex they want and/or from whom they want - it appears to me many guys would love to be having sex more frequently and from attractive desirable women - most guys IMO are at some level under-sexed and just get what they can (especially as you get older).

The OP seems to have the means to satisfy his desires whereas many guys are walking around somewhatl to very, sexually-starved - again if he was banging his S.O. every day no one would probably see a problem w/ that - the OP is just satisfying his needs that most healthy-men have and hie's willing and able; whereas many guys can't for various reasons including cost and go around wishing.

One day may come when the OP can't do it anymore (age, health, finances/retirement, etc) - will he think back and wish he hadn't experienced what he did or be glad to have experienced what he did.

Perhaps many on here would SC more if they had the ability (time, $$$, etc).

You become a sex addict when its the endorphin rush which comes with ejaculation which you are after, instead of actually knowing the girl.

As a dancer told me, "Don't use strip clubs for sexual gratification, that is perverted."

SJG

Most self-improvement teachings do come down to something similar to Scientology: amazon.com

Layla Album youtube.com

Deluxe version youtube.com

But both of the above have the Layla song blocked out.

Here, original Layla youtube.com

Two NOLA AA hotties:

image.nola.com

s.hdnux.com

i think i am an addict.

^^^^ Do you avoid knowing the girls, like seeing them repeatedly and doing TLN's?

SJG

Whats really wrong with being a sex addict?

The average man produces 290 million sperm cells per. Males over 50 produce around 150 per day... we are all naturally sex addicts. Some people pay for it, some dont. But eventually you got to bust your nut.

The issue is not that one is doing too much of something, like ejaculations. Rather it is because one is not doing enough of something, like actually relating to the women.

SJG

Hilarious movie: imdb.com

French Occult and Gnostic Masters youtube.com

i love the social, physical and sexual interaction with many attractive ladies. but i don’t get over involved with them.

I once knew a stripper who may have been a sex addict. :)

It almost sounded like she was begging me for sex at times. Sounded nice.