My CF tried giving me money

orangepicture
Philly suburbs
Last Thursday, I told my CF to expect me to stop by again today between 5:00-5:15pm to get some dances. We've done this before. I get there right at 5:00pm and I immediately see my CF at the other end of the bar as the club was empty. I'm pretty confident she saw me too as I noticed her spin 180 degrees to walk around the bar in the direction I was headed. I make a quick pop into the bathroom and when I come out she is waiting for me. As we head back to the LD area, we both point out to the bar maid that I left my $5 entrance fee on the bar top. I hear a "No tip?" from the bar maid but made no thought toward it. Then I do (10) $30 dances with my CF and tip her an additional $20, for which she seemed grateful.

My CF puts my payment in her purse, then proceeds to push me up against the wall to discreetly give me (2) $5's back. I told her I didn't need change for my $20 tip. She then tells me that I should tip the bar maid with the money she is trying to give me on her behalf. I have never had to tip a bar maid before so I ask why (and no, she is not the house mom). Apparently, the bar maid now recognizes me as a regular to my CF and took it upon herself to point out to my CF that I arrived and as such, expected a tip from my dancer for giving her a heads up. I refused to take my CF's money, told her I have money of my own and would cover it. My CF said under no circumstance was I to imply to the bar maid that the tip was coming from her trying to tip the bar maid through me. I only tipped $5.

I'm kind of perplexed that the bar maid expected a pimping fee for hooking up a CF and PL regular who have a standing dance relationship, but it was nice that my CF was willing to cover the extra expense before I shot that option down. I hope this isn't a repeat occurrence though; something tells me that it will be and I'm not sure how to handle it. Maybe I need to get a fake mustache ala Bobby Valentine so I can find my CF in the club without tipping off the bar keeper that I arrived.

18 comments

Latest

Bj99
7 years ago
You don’t know what kind of power that bartender might have, or what drama has recently taken place. Your cf, for whatever reason, wanted the barmaid to know that her regulars take care of her. You should have done what your cf asked. There’s a lot of politics that customers don’t know ab.
orangepicture
7 years ago
Getting dances is suppose to be drama free :)
orangepicture
7 years ago
My CF has said in the past that she is personal friends with the club manager. She's also been dancing there for 14+ years, so I feel she has some power/sway. If I get to the club next week, I'll find out. Actually, I told her I'd text her next week whether or not I can make it to the club, so maybe I'll ask her if there are politics in play? Is that a smart move BJ99?
GACA
7 years ago
Don't be an idiot... some strippers try to show how much power they have over their regulars by getting them to tip other girls. It's a status thing with them. But if You get into doing that, you're going to be tipping everybody in that fucking club don't do it.

Bj99
7 years ago
You can ask your cf ab it, but don’t ask anyone else who works there.
shadowcat
7 years ago
Seems like another case of entitlement. Every one working in a strip club seems to think you owe them. Door girls expecting tips for doing nothing more than collecting entrance fees.

A week ago I had a Follies waitress try that shit on me. She brought me my $4.25 coke and I gave her $5.25. She then asks "Where's my tip". I said "I just gave you a dollar tip (20%)". She then says "We don't accept quarters". I then said "well I guess your tip is $.75 then" She walked off cursing me but came back for the quarter.

The only way to stop this shit is to just say NO!
jackslash
7 years ago
I had a CF who used to give me $20 to use to tip the bouncer when we went to VIP. I don't know why. I would have used my own money.
Pyroxl
7 years ago
"expected a tip from my dancer for giving her a heads up."

Doesn't make much sense. You already communicated directly with your CF on when to show up. What was the service the bar maid provided? Let her know the very instant you arrive so you won't be scooped up by another girl?
theDirkDiggler
7 years ago
Hmmm... maybe that's why (or apparently another reason) i don't go straight to the bar when i go to a club. Just go to a regular table or near the stage. If you communicate with your girl about exactly when you'll both be there, preferably by text (unless you're rather not share your number with her), you should be able to avoid the barmaid entirely.
Warrior15
7 years ago
I agree with BJ. There has to be some internal reason why your girl wants that barmaid paid. And if she is willing to fund the payments, let her. I would just ask your girl why.
grand1511
7 years ago
Interesting that even though the place was empty, the barmaid feels she's owed a finder's fee. I've tipped club staff for tracking down a favorite when the place is hopping, but not when I can see my favored choice with my own 2 eyes.
orangepicture
7 years ago
My guess is that the bar maid didn't realize that my CF and I had pre-arranged my visit and as such was trying to give her a leg up on scoping me up before another dancer approached me. I always take my CF to the back area if she is there, but am recognized as someone who plays the field for secondary dances too. I believe the "No tip?" remark was directed at my CF as I had no interaction with the bar maid up to that point, but am confused why my CF was trying to pay it with the impression that it was coming from me. At first, I thought she wanted me to "tip out" the bar tender as a favor because it was ten minutes before her shift ended and I watched her tip out the LD timekeeper.

To those asking, the bar itself occupies 90% of the primary club area and the front door opens 5' in front of the bar directly, so there is no secondary seating to go to and the bartenders, who are responsible for collecting entrance fees, if doing their job correctly always keep one eye on the door.
Warrenboy75
7 years ago
Bj998 Hours Ago
You don’t know what kind of power that bartender might have, or what drama has recently taken place. Your cf, for whatever reason, wanted the barmaid to know that her regulars take care of her. You should have done what your cf asked. There’s a lot of politics that customers don’t know ab.

Yep---I've commented on this before.....just from what I have seen in the limited amount of time I have been going back to clubs.........and it flows over to the comments I've made as well about how much the dancers really make ( and keep in mind it's never what you make--it's how much you keep that matters)

Everybody and I mean everybody has their hand out in a club.....and if it doesn't come from the client they look to the dancer--sometimes depending on the level of greed regardless the look to both.
623
7 years ago
Also possible, depending on whether your girls is a sensitive type, she may be trying to get the barmaid a bit of cash to help with a tragedy the barmaid recently suffered (lost a car, kicked out of an appt, who knows) but your girl doesn't want to be seen as a source of funds. I had just such an event happen, although it was explained to me during the request, that I pass on a 'tip'.
max_starr
7 years ago
The club where I go the waitress / bartender plays a manager type role...I tip her....If I walk in to the club and sit down, she'll immediately ask me if I need dances, drinks, whatever....Now I don't need her anymore as I'm very well known, but all I have to do is raise my hand from across the room at any dancer and I'll have a lap dance coming in seconds lol.....I remember when I was new and it was hard to get girls attention being the unknown new guy.
Cashman1234
7 years ago
It sounds very odd. I’d try to stay out of others interactions in the club. If the bartender wanted a tip from you - it would be more appropriate to have a simple chat with her to determine her reasons. It doesn’t seem that the barmaid provided you with any service.

If there was an arrangement between the dancer and bartender - it’s best left between them.
Lone_Wolf
7 years ago
Sounds like a hustle to me. Your CF and the bm are friends. CF tries to give you money to tip which she knows you'll probably refuse and will tip any way. Pretty common hustle. Smooth.
623
7 years ago
@lone_wolf - everything is not a conspiracy - sometimes a thing is just a thing
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