Sugar Daddies and Jealousy
anonlvone
Texas
For those of you who have done the sugar baby thing, or have a regular OTC girl, do you care if she has a boyfriend, and if so, why? If you were to find out your sugar baby was hiding a boyfriend from you, would that have any effect on your spending habits?
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Q. What does a sugar baby say after having sex with you?
A. "Next!"
Hubby, as long as I get all I want from her....No deal breaker until she doesn't know her priority.
Lies to me about either......she hits the bricks !!!!
But.......there are reasons to know and to care, not the least if the dude is jealous and he knows about you. Or the level of attachment and expectation the girl has of you.
The exception was OTC girl #3, my ATF, who acquired a boyfriend after we had seen each other several times. By then I was hooked! He was on home detention, so safety wasn't an issue.
Her: I'm going on vacation with my boyfriend, please don't text me for the next 4 days, I'll text you when I'm back.
Me: Okay
Me: I'll be on a date tonight, you can text me but my notifications are off. Talk to you tomorrow.
Her: Okay
Me: (following her directions that when I get to her house, park a block away and text her) I'm here
Her: My bf got a late start, he's still here, I'll text you in about 15 minutes when he's gone, then you can pick me up and we'll go to dinner
Me: Okay
Me: I've always wanted to go to Fogo de Chao, let's go there
Her: I'd love to, but this is a small town and lots of my friends go there, and if I'm seen with you there it will get back to my boyfriend
Me: Okay, let's head over to Krung Thai and eat there instead
Those are all paraphrases of actual conversations. The nice thing about not hiding any of this is that we don't have to bend over backwards to make up weird lies and cover stories about why we can't do X or Y. I can't, I'm on a date, don't text me, etc. It just makes things so much easier, and it's just somehow refreshing that everything is in the open.
@WarrenBoy75 - Could you explain level of attachment and expectation?
I recently ended a long running off and on saga with a girl I met on SA who after we met became a stripper. I need to watch what I say on here because I have a feeling a few people "could" have a good idea of who I mean since where she danced and her M.O are somewhat unique. Whenever she had a real boyfriend although she considered me her boyfriend as well I could tell. Things were never quite right--call it spidey sense or whatever you want to call it I knew and it threw everything off.
Finally after about the third time of this happening and me leaving, her chasing after me to come back, I did make it part of the arrangement --it might seem unfair but the difference another guy caused and the issues it raised were far beyond what I ever thought they should. So I'm not sure I would call it jealousy but I would say for a lot of reasons I preferred she didn't see anyone else--which of course caused a different set of issues.
The jealousy although she would deny it came more from her--the expectations from me. ( I'll own it)
And yes, I am glossing over a lot of the details but it's the type of story guys only discuss in a bar--drinking a good glass of something with a smooth kick.
You two have some inside argument going on that the rest of us don't quite understand, but I'll say that that sort of feeling -- being resentful that you have to pay, but her 19 year old boyfriend does not -- is purely toxic. Best to find ways to move past those feelings... and again, for me, one of the positive things that open discussion of our love lives with my ATATF has done, is basically put things all out in the open... no dontask/donttell or other techniques that basically just hide what your relationship with her is. Anyway, that's what turned out to work best for me -- that, an spending more time enjoying my interactions with her, than being envious about others' interactions with her.
The majority of the time we were together she was not an active stripper and although there are a lot of things and times I realized she wasn't straight with me I would say this is one of the few things I believed for the same reason I knew when another guy was in the mixture.
I haven't spoke to her for the better part of two months now although she has reached out to me a few times--I've gone no contact and it would take something monumental for me to ever consider going back again.
I ended it because of the drama and because of her dishonesty.
From what I know she moved cross country and I suspect will be dancing again if she isn't already.
There are a lot of you who probe on that topic and who force these girls to lie, because of course almost sll of them have SOs. Seriously now, how many young hot women with emotional issues, often including co-dependency stemming from abandonment or neglect, do you think stay alone for very long? Duh.
But fear not guys, I'm not going to call you pathetic morons for needing to believe that these girls are single, but rather I'm just going to say thank you. Because between this shit, the need to probe them over how they are going to spend their money, and the other mix of whiny, needy and judgmental stuff guys like you often bring to the table, you make what I do a breeze. So again, thank you and keep up the good work. ;)
Now my one exception is the married girl who parades her status, because these types are often doing so for specific reasons that don't bode well for a monger. But otherwise, married or single is all the same to me.
This last one is the oddity. But after sitting out the holidays and giving it some thought I am back on the site meeting women again.
Why is this soo different than a dancer or any other p2p experience?
Now if there is some kind of risk she is exposing you to danger by a stalking bf then thats another matter. But again not much different than a stripper.
and in response to taxi driver, i don't have the option of hitting it and quitting it. you're forgetting i've known her for a year and a half going on two years now, i also still haven't gotten to the point where i'm willing to pay for OTC, nor do i think it's necessary in this case. i think it's far more likely what will eventually happen is that i'll end up having "really amazing angry passionate esoteric fulfilling" sex with her partly because she's happy with me and partly because she's unhappy with him. but that probably won't be for awhile. like several people have stated, including yourself, i prefer to keep my relationships simple and i don't have any desire to get into the middle of a situation with her and her current boyfriend
...she'll find that I'm a fucking nutcase that spews wild conspiracy theories and leave in fear."
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FTFY, @Analvone.
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No, most often desperate girls from dysfunctional families who fail to understand that you're fucking psychotic. But please continue to brag about dating strippers.
I’m very low key, and I’m not jealous, so I’m fine if a dancer tells me she’s got a bf - or if she can’t meet otc because of her bf situation.
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Exploiting girls from dysfunctional families? Are you sure you're not talking to @Dugan?
Anyway, @Analvone, you're missing the whole point: *Any* girl who stays with you would have to be dumb as a fucking brick to put up with your nutty conspiracy theories
and gibberish. She's far more likely to be a 19-yr-old stripper than a ivy-league college girl. Right?
LOL!