I recently had a confrontation with another customer. I was sitting at the bar in a club and my regular came out of the dressing room. We started to head back to the lap dance area and another guy came up and said he was there first and then started complaining to the bartender how rude she was. My regular insisted we go on to the back and then told me he was a guy who was trying to drive off her regulars and get her fired because he had spent a lot of money on her and then asked for sex outside the club and gotten turned down. That got me to thinking about why he would expect that. I've had lots of regulars and have never had one offer me sex just because I've spent a lot of money on her or been a faithful regular. Being a regular usually just resulted in them being more friendly or available for lap dances or an occasional dinner offer. I've actually had more offers of extras or sex outside the club from strippers who aren't regulars so if I was interested in that then rotating around with a lot of girls instead of focusing on one would seem to increase the probability of that. Has anyone found that regulars are more likely to offer to do more? Did they offer on their own or did you bring it up? I never saw any reason to get angry at a regular in a club so this guy getting angry surprised me. If she's doing something or treating me in a way I really don't like I just go find another girl.
That doesn't sound like a confrontation. It sounds like bad timing and you just happened to be there when some stripper drama happened. Expectation management is a thing, even with the RILs.
I don’t have expectations of sex from any dancer who I am close to. It’s simple - I don’t build up expectations - as it’s easy to be let down.
I don’t think the guy (you had a confrontation with) had reasonable expectations. He can spend lots of $$$$ on a dancer - and he should not expect sex as a result. He’s making his situation worse by acting out.
Dancers know how to lead RIL customers along. It’s part of the experience of clubbing. Sadly some customers learn slowly.
If you have been getting dances from her for a long time and she hasn't brought extras then she likely doesn't do them. All the times extras or OTC was mentioned occurred by the third visit with her, and most on the first time I got a dance. A typical give away is if she asks you what kind of dances you usually get.
IMO/IME most' dancers are not into OTC (outside the club), and the ones that have done it in the past IMO/IME don't usually bring it up for various reasons:
* safety - most dancers don't hav a very high opinion o. SC custies and besides many seeing us as losers that gotta pay for attention from women, they may also fear many may be lonely psychos that may be problematic
* many dancers wanna keep a strict separation b/w their club-life and their real life
* if fhey make enough ITC, or the regular spends enough ITC, not a huge incentive for her to meet OTC and everything that comes with that including most-likely putting out
It seems most times dancers see custies OTC it's b/c the custy insists on it - and it often times takes the custy being a regular for a while for her to be comfortable enough with him and also not wanna lose his regular income
Besides the run of the mill asshole custy, which there seem to be a good amount of, many inexperienced and/or not self aware custies, think that b/c they are willing to spend $$$ that every dancer is gonna give him w/e he wants
my experience has been a little different. Ive almost only done OTC with my regular girls, and I have found that the best way to get a girl to do extras or OTC with you is to become her regular. I guess thats my system:)....and yes that was a Rick reference.
There are a few dancers who know me well enough they would likely be more receptive to OTC with me than a dude off the street. And I've had specific offers of extras from dancers after getting dances a couple times.
I'm generally uncomfortable when a fresh dancer offers OTC and reciprocally expect the same if I suggested OTC to a dancer first time.
Nothing wrong with above approach - and lotsa TUSCLers don't wanna waste time with "systems". Neither do the "pro" level dancers. "Just Ask" is still the simplest and fastest way.
I've had fantastic OTCs with regulars only. It works for me. I'm happy with the results. So it is.
One thing all these discussion threads forget is - a dancer does not enter a strip club with a PhD in seduction. Neither a customer enters a strip club with a Certification on SC-ology. All the discussion threads wrongly assume that customers and dancers have a fixed mind-set and that's it. And we are left to discover what each's mythical "fixed" mindset is. All wrong!
Strip clubs are a part of the undocumented, little-studied underworld (all legal though) - and we try to pick up anecdotes from here and there.
A "strictly no-extras" newbie dancer on Jun 12, 2017 could evolve to dinner and makeout OTC on Aug 20, 2017 and then on to sex on Oct 17, 2017. Evolution. Growing up.
A customer liking petite spinners on Jun 12, 2017 could expand into liking thick, curvy latinas with big round butts on Oct 17, 2017. Again, growing up.
So back to OP - keep that regular fave in the backburner. Spend "some" money on her ITC and discuss with her wilder times and more spending OTC with another fave of yours (and end the sentence with "yumm" after each description). Keep in mind - with the passage of time - this fave dancer is meeting more and more assholes everyday - draining her energy and self worth - and you are even more fondly remembered as a "gentleman who spends".
Regularity with a dancer - if administered in moderation - can create a more emotional connection for wilder times than what money alone can do.
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I don’t think the guy (you had a confrontation with) had reasonable expectations. He can spend lots of $$$$ on a dancer - and he should not expect sex as a result. He’s making his situation worse by acting out.
Dancers know how to lead RIL customers along. It’s part of the experience of clubbing. Sadly some customers learn slowly.
* safety - most dancers don't hav a very high opinion o. SC custies and besides many seeing us as losers that gotta pay for attention from women, they may also fear many may be lonely psychos that may be problematic
* many dancers wanna keep a strict separation b/w their club-life and their real life
* if fhey make enough ITC, or the regular spends enough ITC, not a huge incentive for her to meet OTC and everything that comes with that including most-likely putting out
It seems most times dancers see custies OTC it's b/c the custy insists on it - and it often times takes the custy being a regular for a while for her to be comfortable enough with him and also not wanna lose his regular income
I do think a lot of girls work itc for a reason.
I'm generally uncomfortable when a fresh dancer offers OTC and reciprocally expect the same if I suggested OTC to a dancer first time.
Nothing wrong with above approach - and lotsa TUSCLers don't wanna waste time with "systems". Neither do the "pro" level dancers. "Just Ask" is still the simplest and fastest way.
I've had fantastic OTCs with regulars only. It works for me. I'm happy with the results. So it is.
One thing all these discussion threads forget is - a dancer does not enter a strip club with a PhD in seduction. Neither a customer enters a strip club with a Certification on SC-ology. All the discussion threads wrongly assume that customers and dancers have a fixed mind-set and that's it. And we are left to discover what each's mythical "fixed" mindset is. All wrong!
Strip clubs are a part of the undocumented, little-studied underworld (all legal though) - and we try to pick up anecdotes from here and there.
A "strictly no-extras" newbie dancer on Jun 12, 2017 could evolve to dinner and makeout OTC on Aug 20, 2017 and then on to sex on Oct 17, 2017. Evolution. Growing up.
A customer liking petite spinners on Jun 12, 2017 could expand into liking thick, curvy latinas with big round butts on Oct 17, 2017. Again, growing up.
So back to OP - keep that regular fave in the backburner. Spend "some" money on her ITC and discuss with her wilder times and more spending OTC with another fave of yours (and end the sentence with "yumm" after each description). Keep in mind - with the passage of time - this fave dancer is meeting more and more assholes everyday - draining her energy and self worth - and you are even more fondly remembered as a "gentleman who spends".
Regularity with a dancer - if administered in moderation - can create a more emotional connection for wilder times than what money alone can do.