The "bases"
nj_pete
New Jersey
This is somewhat off topic of clubs, but I noticed in a recent review I just read that the reviewer mentioned first base and second base.
Now of course I've heard these terms a 1000 times in my life as applied to dating etc, but was never exactly sure what was defined by first base, second base and so on.
Is first base a kiss and second copping a feel? Can someone enlighten my lack of knowledge here?
Thanks!
Now of course I've heard these terms a 1000 times in my life as applied to dating etc, but was never exactly sure what was defined by first base, second base and so on.
Is first base a kiss and second copping a feel? Can someone enlighten my lack of knowledge here?
Thanks!
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29 comments
Very painful. One girl in particular I've reported about on this board, before. I don't really "hold a candle" for her, so it isn't that I'm emotionally still attached, but the story sums it all up and, to boot, covers a full three-year period that could have been my most productive lay-time in my life. I met her at the beginning of my sophomore year in college, and pined after her for the remaining three years of my school daze. I kept thinking I was her knight in shining armor, she kept me on the string, I "knew" that we would be "right for one another" while she just fucked other guys. I didn't even really think she wasn't still a virgin, it just hadn't occurred to me. Now, I think of her and say, "What a cunt, for misleading me so much," but at the time it was all, "I love her so." Sad but true. Some people are sensitive and trusting. I'm also a good mark for an office bully, by the way. Until I figure it out. I'm always very good at standing up for myself and really being strong about it, but only AFTER someone has pointed out to me that I'm miserable and being mistreated. I don't even ... notice ... somehow. Weird.
Now I just assume, if she's not fucking me then she's fucking someone else, and I stop trying to date her. That is, if I ever DO get a date in the first place ... :(
Very painful. One girl in particular I've reported about on this board, before. I don't really "hold a candle" for her, so it isn't that I'm emotionally still attached, but the story sums it all up and, to boot, covers a full three-year period that could have been my most productive lay-time in my life. I met her at the beginning of my sophomore year in college, and pined after her for the remaining three years of my school daze. I kept thinking I was her knight in shining armor, she kept me on the string, I "knew" that we would be "right for one another" while she just fucked other guys. I didn't even really think she wasn't still a virgin, it just hadn't occurred to me. Now, I think of her and say, "What a cunt, for misleading me so much," but at the time it was all, "I love her so." Sad but true. Some people are sensitive and trusting. I'm also a good mark for an office bully, by the way. Until I figure it out. I'm always very good at standing up for myself and really being strong about it, but only AFTER someone has pointed out to me that I'm miserable and being mistreated. I don't even ... notice ... somehow. Weird.
Now I just assume, if she's not fucking me then she's fucking someone else, and I stop trying to date her. That is, if I ever DO get a date in the first place ... :(
Anyhow, for the most part, it must be more related to the HS attended, rather than the "times" that determined the amount of activity of a sexual nature. For me, it was probably even more so related to my shyness.
I know there was quite a bit going on... even as early as 8th and 9th grade. Several girls, including a cheerleader that I always thought was way WAY hot, ended up "with child".
Being an only child, and so in awe of the hot girls, I was on the backward side, and thus didn't get in on those experiences. Also, the type of girls that I liked influenced the amount of activity.
I'd had a crush on one particular girl that started around 4th grade and ended in 9th grade I belive, since I was too shy, to this day, I've never talked to her, and obviously never got anywhere with her, or any other girl during that period of time. Next came another crush or two in 9th grade, with similar results.
10th grade was a big year and the beginning of dating. My first "experience" was a a lot of heavy petting and a HJ from someone I wasn't even interested in... later she offered me the entire menu, but again, shyness kicked in and I passed on any further contact with her. Yep, she was a slut, but was kind'a cute, too. In fact the night of the HJ, she also provided the same service for one of my friends (we were all in the back of a van to/from a concert). Looking back on her, the HJ(s), and what she offered, I've kicked myself many times for not pursuing. What the hell was wrong with me?!
One of my funniest memories from high school is of one of my friends running down a crowded hall at passing time yelling, at the top of his lungs, "She had it! She had it", referring to his girlfriend and her monthly visitor. I also remember a couple of high school friends signing away paternal rights following situations that didn't work out so well, and led to adoptions.
.
There must have been a resurgence of puritanism after I graduated from high school. I'm glad I missed it.
No, seriously, I do believe some girls would allow sexual access at my school, but I also believe that they were very few, and that they required some kind of "going steady" commitment from the guy. In fact, I think there were a lot of "going steady" couples who were NOT sexually involved; probably it was mostly about who you heavy-petted with the most.
Now, it's my impression, that blowjobs are regularly offered for guys that the girl isn't even dating. It's kind of a "currency" readily exchanged throughout the shool, especially at the trashy inner-city places; the girls want to show off who is good at it and kind of "compete," and of course the guys both (a) enjoy getting it and (b) want to one-up one another about whose girl blows whom, etc.
In addition to the BJ situation above, I think there is ALSO more sexual activity of the coitus kind, than what I reported about my own High School classmates. I certainly wasn't sexually active in HS. Although I dated (generally younger girls -- one of whom, I am proud to report, went on to become Homecoming Queen!) I didn't ever get past making out, lip-to-lip. Once I accidentally brushed a girl's breasts and was appalled at myself. I didn't lose my virginity (as in, coitus) until after Undergrad and Master's degrees were well in hand. :( But that's a different story.
Even looking at my own family tree for the past couple of hundred years, I see a remarkable phenomenon of "prematurity" among first born children. What's up with that....I've never read about stars appearing over the roofs of farmhouses across the upper Midwest.
Chandler, my experience was the same as yours...there were well-off "good" girls who didn't screw in h.s....and the white trash "bad" girls, from my kind of people, who did. I think that's why I still have a great attraction to girls who seem a little (or a lot) "trashy" and "nasty."
I get DFK from a dancer about every 12-18 months. It usually leaves me confused and dizzy for at least a couple of days.
*DFK, in this contact, only included FK with a dancer that you would freely choose to kiss outside the strip club. Kissing a dancer who is ugly, old, or emotionally demented, or any of those three, does not count.
However, once I found I had some competence at each level of performance, I did pick up some confidence....
And I agree that the bases were: 1st - passionate kissing, 2nd - hands playing with upper body parts under clothes, 3rd - hands playing with lower body parts under clothes, HR - all the way (which was consistent terminology.) And unless you were going steady you almost never got past 2nd base. Nice girls didn't do that stuff. High school was very different in those days.
I don't know where blow jobs came in. They were routinely accepted by the time I started dating, but weren't really talked about. I led a little bit of a sheltered life, but it is true that thet first time I knew what a blow job was (junior year of high school), I was getting one.
Sounds pretty reasonable to me ... :)
1. kiss (with tongue)
2. upper body touch (no clothes above the waist)
3. lower body touch (though no direct genital-to-genital contact)
4. genital-to-genital contact
This means that a blowjob is third-base material. Maybe some people would consider it closer to "stealing second" or something.
Sometimes I'm very frustrated by the desperately low levels of service that men get excited about, in the reviews on TUSCL. For example, a "full on direct hand-job" in one review, it turns out, was the description the reviewer used for the dancer grabbing his crotch THROUGH his jeans, without removing or opening them. His willie stayed inside his clothes, her hand stayed outside, no waistband or zipper was ever breached by either, but this counts somehow as a "handjob"? No no no ...
Clifbar - most of us are old enough to have enjoyed life and remember the good things. Like trying to get past 1st base and bragging to all your buddies.
1st base: Kissing (French)
2nd base: Fondling the breasts (unclothed)
3rd base: Finger fucking
Home Run: Fucking
so, it was sort of a geographic progression, in the southward downtown.
Or, as I learned in Cub Scouts; French, Feel, Finger, Fuck.
YMMV,
DG
But even among the girls who were going steady, BJs and DFK were pretty rare. At least that's my impression - no one really knows because that stuff wasn't talked about the way it is now. Many of my friends went steady (as did I) but I never once heard any guy talk about what they did or didn't do with their GF, even after they broke up. Any guy who did that would have found it very difficult to get a date. But I grew up in a small town in a rural area, with kids from mostly middle income families - high schools in or near cities or schools with a lot of rich or poor kids may have been quite different.
Our nation's sexual mores changed very dramatically during the Viet Nam war - high school was a very different experience depending on whether you went before or during/after that war. (A funny aside - I've always gotten a kick out of news coverage of all the anti-war protests. All the guys I knew who joined those protests only did so to get laid. They didn't care about the war at all, the protests were just an excuse to experiment with sex and drugs and raise hell. I'm sure not all the protestors were like that, but an awful lot of them were.)