Going for finger action - How do you test the waters?

I just go for it. I have been told that is a "no no" and had my hand pushed aside but I have never had a bouncer kick me out of the club.

I would start by mild contact above or around. If you don't get pushed aside or told not to do that, go for a little bit more direct contact. Possible outcomes:

No comment and you push on a little bit more aggressively.
She re-positions so your kitty play is less obvious to an observer (good sign!)
She makes a comment like "not too much" or "just don't go inside" - continue and respect that guideline.
She makes a positive comment about liking it - you have a green light, bro!
She makes a comment that kitty play is for VIP - she let you do a little and is now cutting you off. Respect that.

Or, she does a move common at Follies and throws one leg over your thigh. This can be loosely interpreted as "I want you two knuckles deep"

Just grab her by the pussy.

Agree with Shadow, but you will get one free pass. The girl understands you are trying to go as far as she will let you. But, if you try again ore even a third time, you do risk a call from a bouncer.

OTOH, I have had instances where the girl was willing but a bouncer spied the action and put a threatening stop to it and later pulled the dancer aside. You should figure out what is the "norm" at that club (by asking Norm) and factor that into your exploration.

I go in slow enough to give her a chance to move my hand instead of sneaking up on her and getting her by surprise, I also try to be gentle - it can help a bit if you wait till the 2nd song so she feels you are at least trying to spend on her, but there are no guarantees and some clubs are more raunchy than others

If you're going to try to touch her without getting her permission first, go for the stubble. If she's cool with it, then go further south and get your fingers wet. I generally prefer getting permission beforehand and if she doesn't agree, then I don't agree on getting any dances.

I do the same thing as shadowcat

Two things that will work in your favor:

If your spending money and she's "strip club" attractive to you.

If she wants to turn you into a regular because your spending good money and all the other dancers think you're attractive (Yea they talk about that stuff in the dressing room) she'll let you roam.

Like others have said, I just go for it. But, I'm pretty slow & deliberate about it so as to give her time to let me know how she feels about it. Maybe slide my hand up her thigh & watch her reaction, maybe stay outside her panties and wait for an indication she's comfortable. A lot depends on the club and other cues before or during during the dance. If she's closing her legs when my hand is on the middle of her thigh on the outside, its usually pretty clear she's not gonna want my hand on the inside so I won't even try. If she's sticking her nipples in my mouth and shoving her pussy in my face, I'm a lot less deliberate.

I’d follow @GoldmongerATL’s advice. He makes several good suggestions regarding how to proceed depending on how the dancer reacts.

The clubs in my area are bikini only. When I get a dancer back in a more private location - I take a seat - lean back - and watch her - and see if anything comes off (or gets moved aside). Basically - if she pulls her top off - I know her tits are available. If everything comes off - that is a sign that it’s all available.

Here’s something I’d recommend against - as I had a friend try this - and I had to think fast to help him from getting a beating. A friend thought he was clever - when a dancer would bend over to get a $1 - he’d put it between her legs - and he’d try to get his fingers inside of her. This is not recommended! I still get stressed just thinking about watching that stupidity go down.

I’ve used a “sure fire” method for more years than I care to admit to:

After a get to know her period you let her dance for you. Rather than groping right away, sit with your hands on your knees. This tells you are polite and keep your hands to yourself. If the girl in question removes your hand from YOUR knees and places it somewhere else you can be pretty sure it’s off limits. If she grinds on the back of your hand, you are probably good to go.

Another method which also works when she is in reverse cowgirl is to gently hold her hand such that the back of your hand is facing her palm then gently interlock her fingers. This signals to her you want her to place your hands somewhere. I’ve had countless dancers slide my hand down to their g string. I’ve had a few guide my hands to their butt too indicating they liked a bit of backdoor stimulation.

I guess those methods have always worked for me and as a customer you come off as non threatening.

Lotsoffun thanks for the tips!

Lotsoffun gives the best advice.

I can’t tell you how many girls have said at the end of a set of dances “thank you for not trying to ram your fingers in my pussy, you’re the first guy all night not to try that.”

In most cases girls will lead you to what they want done.

PL newbies please take note, Shadow Car is having such a high success rate because he hangs out at a known extras club where such behavior it expected if not even encouraged.

I’m not knocking his approach at all, I’m just pointing out do try to mimic his approach at other clubs because doing that in some clubs could go downhill real fast.

I've actually started TWO discussions in the last month relating to this. One about how important kitty play was to PLs, and the other about topless dancers flashing pussy (not too common). I've given suggestions on how to go about it.

Having said it, this is generally considered very aggressive and can end pretty badly. Be very aware of the type of club you are at if you try this. If it is a bikini only club or even a topless only club not known for extras or even high mileage and contact, i would let it go unless you somehow were able to negotiate this. Strippers often choose to work at these type of clubs, specifically not to show their pussy let alone have it played with. If you're in a VIP or a room, the rules can often change. Even then, i would tread carefully, as there are a lot of, i don't want to say ROBs, but girls that hide behind rules to do as little as they can.

Now if you're at a nude club that's extra friendly and/or known or high contact and mileage, almost every girl there has had their pussy "grabbed" at some point, unless they tell you upfront not to do it. In which case, don't do it. Otherwise, you can always ask, but many girls will tell you not to do it, even if they might let you do it, say if you do numerous dances or tip them. So what i do, is i'll lightly touch around the periphery (inner, thighs, outer lips or pubic mound (landing strip area) as well as read their body language. If you pass this test, you can try touching the inner lips or the clit hood and see if she says anything or reacts negatively. Usually, if you pass the first test, you'll pass the second test as she probably knows where you are heading. But even if you pass the second test, i doesn't mean that you're in the clear and can just do whatever.

Even at clubs like this, some girls are not comfortable with heavy contact and you can tell. They won't let you suck nipples or they'll dance kind of defensively, they won't back their pussy into your face or even your reach, when they facing you, they'll have their entire pussy buried on your pants, if you reach around, they'll probably try to block it. DON'T try to push it in this situation. Again, you just have to learn to let it go sometimes. There was a time, when i might get a cheap trill or jolly just to touch a kitty (and a titty), but if you can't touch it like you mean it, there really is no point to it all.

While I still do the "slowly move your fingers towards ground zero and see if she intercepts" method, these days I almost always stop my fingers just outside the demilitarized zone (that is, just outside her g-string) and ask, "May I touch?".

In the old days, I had this notion in my head that if you ask, that just gives the girl opportunity to think about it and say no, whereas if you just went for it, she might let you slide. These days, I think it's the opposite: a girl who doesn't want you to touch her pussy is going to stop you regardless of whether you ask or not, a girl who will let you touch her pussy will let you do it regardless, but a girl who is on the fence or decides on a case-by-case basis is more likely to allow a guy she can trust to respect her limits (that is, the guy who asks). As anyone who SCs with a group of guys knows, strippers sometimes let one guy do something that she won't let another guy do, and I suspect her trust level ("if I let him touch my pussy, will he just shove his finger in without asking?") is part of what determines this.

In short: particularly for CFers who will be seeing the same girl over and over, I see all-upside no-downside in asking explicitly. Things may be different for variety guys for whom every girl is new to them.

I don’t put my fingers in her pussy unless she tells me to.

-->"OTOH, I have had instances where the girl was willing but a bouncer spied the action and put a threatening stop to it and later pulled the dancer aside. "

An interesting aside here, I am quite certain that what you described happens often. But it's also pretty often the case that the bouncer's timing isn't as impeccable as you think, the girls all have ways to signal the bouncer. Some of the girls like leaving the impression, "I'm willing... if not for that dastardly bouncer". I remember an old ATF of mine telling me all the ways she got the bouncer's attention that she wanted him to come in and reduce the contact without getting the good-paying customer irritated with her. She'd distract the customer in some way -- usually putting her breasts, ass, or pussy in his face, but basically anything that would block his view of her face -- and then she'd making quick eye contact with the bouncer and a short nod, or if he was not in the room, look straight at the camera and do the same thing. Lo and behold, bouncer appearance and warning. Then she could tell the customer how she loved it and how she wished that bouncer would mind his own business, etc. I imagine that they could always stage the "bouncer pulls her aside" as the final bit of theater.

Anyway, like I said, very often I think it's just the bouncer catching things on his own, but the girls do have ways to surreptitiously signal them

@Subraman - I think you are correct. Dancers know most of the ins and outs in the club. They know how to conceal action from view in each of the dance areas. I think they also know how to signal a bouncer - without drawing attention.

Also, when a customer is enjoying an eyeful - and attempting to get a finger-full too - the dancer might not need to be very subtle.

What if the customer is somebody she finds physically attractive in a very carnal way? The kind of guy that she wants to be dominated by? Suddenly, if he asks “can I touch your pussy?” would that not kill the attraction for her?

FT: I don't think there's any downside to asking explicitly no matter what the context, although even if there was, I think it's best to optimize for the 99.999% case where she isn't really into you, vs the .001% case where she might be (I may be drastically over-estimating the % where she might be into you :)

In any case, when it comes to domination in the strip club, I am even MORE demanding that explicit consent be obtained, as long as constant monitoring that the intensity level is appropriate and welcome, at least until you get to know her well enough that you understand her limits. In short, I'm doubling down on asking explicitly, especially for your incredibly unlikely scenario: she will not be turned off by the fact that you're seeking to understand her limits.

One can show dominance in different ways when getting a dance. Grabbing a dancer by the hips and controlling her entire grind is one way.

Also, a dominant man wouldn’t ask if he could touch her pussy. He would ask when will she be ready to be touched. That’s a different way to ask her.

Simple. Since I don't accept dances when they ask me (Asians excluded) I decline. When I ask them and they accept I extend my hand so they can lead me to their "spot". Just as soon as they take my hand and feel the size of my fingers, they swoon. The rest is child's play!

One last thing; just because a dancer plays with herself doesn't mean that she wants you to do it or more specifically, is fine with you doing it (as very few girls actually want that). Obviously, or maybe not so obviously for some, there is a world of difference between her hand and yours. Sometimes she'll do it just so her hand is there to prevent you from doing anything.

IME I've gotten way more (FIV, etc) by me being proactive/the-initiator.

Waiting for a dancer to take the lead will often lead to diminishing returns as many a dancer will wanna do the least.

As subra previously mentioned, I'm of the school of thought that if I ask that her reflex-reaction would be to say no; thus I kinda see-it me making the move as being the initiator and perhaps getting more than o/w (i.e. giving myself a better shot - can't get a hit if you don't swing the bat) - but asking her is also being the initiator and she may be more open to it for you having the courtesy to ask vs "just barging in" LOL.

IMO it's best to take the lead/be-the-initiator either by asking, or moving in slowly as for her to see/know your intentions (e.g. rub the outside instead of insertion and if she allows rubbing then proceed as she allows, etc).

I don't worry about bouncers, so long as I do my things gradually. When a bouncer sees inappropriate conduct, he usually talks to the dancer. Only once has a bouncer talked to me. (FIV at the rack! The dancer initiated it.) The bouncer told me that she shouldn't have allowed it; he was talking to me to make sure I'm clear on the rules.

So just respect whatever limits the dancer sets and you'll be fine.

Treat women as civilians. Best is a front room makeout session, using words and DFKing to soften her up. Then breast and entire front side, then insides of the thighs, then pussy massaging. Then is she seems willing, getting under her panties, then finally inside.

Much more easy to lead the interaction in the front room.

SJG

I don't touch their pussy or the part of the panties that covers their pussy until they have touched my bare cock. I have never been turned down from FIV or DATY if I am getting a HJ or better. One CF though requires that I wash my hands before our sessions and since she requires money up front, but I don't want to pay until we get into the VIP booth, I put the money in my shirt pocket, wash my hands, then let her take the money out of my pocket so I'm not touching the "dirty bills" as she puts it.

I only touch the pussy if she puts my hands in it, that way i know she fully encourages it. I once put my hands full in her ass crack without asking and she politely said "that's gonna cost you more money"

As orangepicture mentioned, hygiene is very important for many if not most dancers concerning this, and important just in general if you want the most contact and mileage. You should be washing your hands before and/or after every dance session and somehow let the girl aware that you have, like mention something about having just gone to the bathroom or what i often do is tell her to pardon my cold hands as i just washed them (if they are indeed cold). Nor should you be constantly handling cash (even for tipping) in between dances if you're not washing as well. Of course there are some more savvy dancers that use that convenient excuse even when they have no intention of allowing it (if they are ever called out on it during that dance or future dances later that visit), just so that she can shut down a PL without seeming prude or not fun, just pragmatic.

Me: As I glance down at her lap... "Can I touch you?"
Her: "Yes" or "No"
..... whew, that was a tough one.

^ At least she didn't say, "I don't know, can you?"...

Thanks for all the advice! Now I just need to find the right girl.

Forget all the advice - just wiggle your finger up and down while pointing at her coochie and you are in!