Most Pathetic PL Moment
SirLapdancealot
Knight of the Round Table Dance
What is your most pathetic moment as a PL?
Mine was sneaking out of the house at 10pm after my wife fell asleep just so I could go see a CF. I did it a few times but then stopped because I felt guilty and realized it is not worth risking my marriage over it.
Another one was using the ATM at the club, not just once, but twice, and then leaving, going to a grocery store to buy something and get a cash withdrawal, and returning just to keep getting dances with a potential DS.
At what point in your PL life have you stopped to say to yourself, "Now this is getting really pathetic!"?
Mine was sneaking out of the house at 10pm after my wife fell asleep just so I could go see a CF. I did it a few times but then stopped because I felt guilty and realized it is not worth risking my marriage over it.
Another one was using the ATM at the club, not just once, but twice, and then leaving, going to a grocery store to buy something and get a cash withdrawal, and returning just to keep getting dances with a potential DS.
At what point in your PL life have you stopped to say to yourself, "Now this is getting really pathetic!"?
90 comments
Sending flowers to a stripper to the club for her birthday, only to find out she got shit-faced drunk the night before and didn't even go in to work the day she said she was going to. Never again on that one.
2. More generally, I agree with Sir that the lying and sneaking around, which I’ve done my fair share of to visit SCs, makes me feel like a major PL
I now just follow the script. It's not love; it's just a service for money. Once I got that thru my PL head, everything's been smooth.
One night I was in NYC with some buddies. There were 3 of us in my buddies Chevy cavalier. They decided to troll for tunnel bunnies and I opted out. I hit a deli - got a corned beef sandwich and two beers - and sat in the back seat eating while my buddies got blown up front.
To top the night off - they stopped in to watch a live sex show in a Times Square theater. I sat out on the street reading the Village Voice.
It all started off as an innocent trip to Little Italy for cannolis and coffee.
one time i used the atm (luckily there was a gas station right next door to the club with a much cheaper withdrawal fee) to withdraw more cash because I wanted a 2nd VIP with a hottie. in my defense, this girl gave me one of the best dances I have ever had. she even allowed DFK, which, in my experience, is unusual
I push the dancer down on the chair - and I’m disgusted with the filth of the place. I go back to the club and try to chill from being so crazed. I drink a few beers - and the next thing I know the dancer is running her hands through my hair. I paid her upfront to fuck - and she apparently enjoyed it - as she says that she’s mine for the night! It took me a bit before I took her back again.
Pathetic would have been if you burned your hand and got melted latex and steaming jizz on it trying to get the condom off the radiator.
There are other worse PL moments in my life but they don't involve strippers or strip clubs. Just very hot women.
That's the saddest thing I've heard in a while. Hope you never do that again
@ Upright. Ive seen a PL do something like that once, everyone there felt sorry for the dude.
@Jack. Man, Pussy should be a controlled substance..SMH
I gotta admit that was well played on her part. Pro style ROB.
I think about that night a decade ago and still can't believe how fucking dumb I was. So I guess it wasn't a pathetic story, more of a dumb as fuck story.
Overnighting money to a stripper so she can pay her kids health insurance premium.
Having sex in a VIP once and realizing I never actually had any skin to skin contact with the stripper because she was a germaphobe. Think about that, I had my wang inside her but my thighs never touched hers hands never touched boobs because she always positioned herself just so.
Buying a VIP with a credit card and having to fingerprint the receipt so I couldn’t reserve the charges.
I got a spine after that, I promise.
i've done this once. and i had to pay a little extra because i was using a credit card. and they took my fingerprint. i guess they do this to ensure you aren't using someone else's credit card.
in my defense, it was a beautiful PAWG with natural pierced C cup breasts :-)
Anyways, I still had $400 bucks left so I got 8 more dances from her.
Fucking idiot. Should have gone to the grocery store to buy condoms and come back.
I also recently spent $100 more at a club than I had budgeted for, so the first thing I did the next day was to coin wrap all the loose change I had collected in some giant 32oz soda cups in order to trade them in at the bank in order to recoup some money.
:~
Pieces of advice I've picked up, which I sort of knew before, but were reaffirmed:
-- Don't carry more cash than you're prepared to spend.
-- Don't bring your ATM card and don't use a credit card for anything.
-- Don't be silly enough to think she's into you. It's a business transaction.
-- Don't wreck your marriage over this. It's not worth it.
Spent the next few days wracking my feeble brains trying to think of something nice to get her. Ended up driving into Philadelphia to Steven Singer Jewelers to buy a live rose dipped in gold. Sat in traffic two hours each way. Paid for parking, tolls, couldn't find a bathroom, nearly pissed in my pants, and almost had a car accident, but I finally made a beeline for the club with the rose all gift wrapped and everything. She certainly seemed surprised and appreciative. But at least one or two other guys were also there that night with presents for her (chocolates I think). Oh well. On the plus side, I finally did get to see her OTC... ten months later! And it cost a small fortune, too. In the interim, she convinced me to see her ITC probably 12 to 15 more times. Played like a fiddle, I was. Luckily, I think she's worth it. She's gorgeous and I like her very much. She's still my CF and my ATF.
Other than that, there was the time when another girl texted me and asked me if I could bring her some condoms, baby wipes, mouthwash, and a cup of coffee from Dunkin Donuts. Which I did. Happily, at the time. And I even paid for it all. Presumably she needed all the supplies so that she could fuck some other guy in the VIP room. Words fail to describe what a bitch I've been for these girls. Luckily I'm not such a bitch outside the club world.
Thanks, man. Yeah, she's something else. If I were a "one woman" kind of guy, she'd be the woman. Luckily, I'm not ;)
BTW, your stories weren't pathetic... they were fucking awesome!
He calls me from the hotel - tells me he met two hot whores at a bar - and they are ready to party. He says to bring lots of cash - and to meet him in a specific room at the hotel. I withdrew $400 - and I pulled another $300 from his stash (in a shoebox he kept in his closet. I drive in as fast as I can - fighting through a mess of Holland tunnel traffic - I park up in Times Square - and I get to the hotel lobby. I stop for a minute to calm down a bit. I’m fucking sweating and when I look in the mirror I notice that I cut my shoulder - and blood is dripping and coming through my shirt. I run back out to a nearby drug store - grab some bandages and an “I love NY” T-shirt. Go back to the hotel - go to the men’s room - cover the bleeding cut on my shoulder - toss my old bloody shirt in the trash - put my new tourist T-shirt on - and find the elevator.
I’m tired - still sweaty - and the elevator is one of those glass ones - and going up so quickly doesn’t sit well with my stomach. I keep it down - and I get off the elevator. I find the room - and it’s a smoking suite. I open the door - and there is a smell of rotting food - and cigarette smoke. My friend is on the bed fucking one of the whores - and it’s not a pretty sight. But there’s smoke coming from the open bathroom door? So I look in - and the other whore is shitting and smoking. I look over at my buddy - he turns around and says “Never give whores privacy - NEVER! Grab a drink - and start fucking!”
The smell was too much for me - and the visual put me over the top. I pushed past the shitting whore - and threw up in the shower - then I threw up in the sink - then I drank a beer and sat down.
The whore finished shitting and smoking - did a few lines off the coffee table - and was ready to go! Needless to say - it took me a few minutes to rally and get back in the game.
Luckily I was about 3 years out of college - and I could rally - and go a few rounds with the whores. My buddy had a shopping bag in his room that was always kept filled with condoms. I was lucky that I didn’t get into trouble with any police - as I had my college backpack filled with $1’s, 5’s, 10’s and 20’s - condoms - and gauze and medical tape!
The whores were filthy - but it was a good time. We gave the whores about $500 for the night. The room was free. The drinks were free because my buddy called the hotel janitor - and let him take turn with one of the whores in exchange for bringing up a few cases of beer.
I think we need a thread of Cashman stories. Or a thread of everyone's favorite times mongering.
BTW thanks to everyone for sharing your moments. Regardless of how pathetic it has been great to read them. The standard of pathetic has been raised high. No matter how pathetic a PL is, it seems there's always another one out there even more pathetic!
On the negative side - I hooked up with a girl a few weeks later. She thought I was a fetish freak. When we get back to my place - everything’s good. We enjoy some good civilian sex. Then she tells me that she needs to use the bathroom. As she’s walking towards the bathroom - I ask her “You aren’t going to take a shit, are you?” Probably not a good hookup question! She gives me a very odd look and says no. But I won’t leave it alone - “Ok. Just don’t shit in there. Ok?”
I’m pretty sure her friends heard about the freak who was afraid of her shitting in his house. In my defense - I could still remember the stench of that hotel room.
Had a friend who told me this tale...
He was home chillin, had lunch, curry chicken if memory serves, got a call from a Hottie he's been trying to get. Gets up showers and heads over. On the way his stomach starts to bubble, but he's only thinking about the pussy. Gets there and feels like taking a shit, but first time over he doesn't want to blow up her toilet.
Cut to the chase, they get it on, he's pounding it out, she gets on top, rides the hell out of him. So he wants to fart so he's on his back trying to squeeze out a quiet one she won't notice while she's going hard.
He squeezes out a wet sloppy load instead right there in her bed!!
Lmfao. He ran outta there with his tail between his legs, avoiding her to this day.
Awesome stuff :) The closest I ever came to that was when I was visiting with this one hooker/stripper at her hotel room and I went to go use her bathroom before we get down to business and notice a bit of diarrhea dripping from the edge of the seat when I lifted it. So naturally I make an excuse to leave and get the fuck out of there because, you know, I have high standards... Ha, just kidding! I dry heaved a few times but I got over it, came out of the bathroom and fucked her anyway! I even licked her hooch, although admittedly I could not bring myself to lick her asshole. What can I say? She was hot.
Anywho, I was born in NYC at a time when Times Square was still very dirty, but by the time I had come of age it was basically all cleaned up. I know crime was pretty bad back then... I mean, I've seen the movies Deathwish and The French Connection, so my parents can't bullshit me about the "good old days" LOL. But I do feel like I missed out on some good adult stuff, nonetheless.
I was "fortunate" enough to come up just before that Damn Giuliani or whatever his name was ruined Times Square. Oh it was an experience.
Don't even talk about the quality of the SWs on the West Side, man Movie Stars used to be out there. I remember once 3 of us were driving back from a club late by the Lincoln tunnel just a the cops turned on their block. They hollered for us to let them in, we did, and proceeded to get the best CBJ I've ever had. Better than most BBBJs Ive had too!!And by a Ms America young black chick!
I knew I was missing out on a lot. Apparently you didn't even need to go to a club or call a hooker back then, they just walked right up to your car on the street like in the movies ;)
Is it possible to get nostalgic for something you've never even experienced?
Anything done in a strip club or an AMP was just money lost, nothing more.
SJG
There were still real porn shops in Times Square. It was a bit crazy for young horny guys - as everything was available - and it was generally reasonable. You needed to be careful - as it was easy to get robbed.
They still had those homeless dudes who wanted to wash your windows too. You never knew what they were spraying on your windshield.
The city has changed a lot since then.
The City is definitely safer and more livable (albeit more expensive) and I wouldn't want to turn back the clock to the "bad old days," but I really wish they hadn't included the sex industry in their shotgun approach to quality-of-life improvements. It's a shame that we can't have a happy medium, like less street crime, less aggressive panhandlers, but still have the sex trade out in the open.
Absolutely, I couldn't agree more. Sex is legal, giving people money is legal, so having sex and then giving your sex partner money should also be legal. Anything else is just illogical. If the sex business were totally legal and totally unregulated (except for age of consent laws and rules against actual slavery, obviously), we'd be that much closer to living in a genuinely free society. And NYC in the 70s and 80s would have been that much less shitty.
SJG
A similar thing happened to me, except it was in Manhattan. And it was my first time at a club. And I was still a teenager. Very traumatic. Basically it proves that I'm an idiot, because I've been going back to clubs for years since then. I think normal mortals would have been "once bitten, twice shy," but I'm a glutton for punishment, apparently.
We’ve all gotten taken when we were novices and still learning about what to expect.
that story about the guy crapping his pants was great LOL
An older ebony that I knew from an AA dive I visit - she was about 40 but looked great (natural very firm DDs that stayed in place even w/o a bra); and she was into working out and was very toned.
This chick was a veteran and had a lot of baggage as well as a quick-temper - she was cool when she was tipsy in the club but outside of that she had a quick temper and could be a real bitch.
Anyway one night at this dive I'm enjoying her DDs ITC and she was in a good-mood - she suggests we go grab a motel-room and that is what we did after her shift was over.
We get to the motel-room and she starts acting weird as if she didn't wanna do stuff - anyway we kinda have intercourse for a bit and she claims she came and wants to stop (which was BS) - I was upset then she tries to turn-it on me as if I was the one w/ the problem and she starts copping a major attitude.
Obviously this was going nowhere and I could tell w/ her temper and bad-attitude that it was only gonna get worse - after we had left the club we had actually driven to her house where she had dropped off her car then we drove to the motel in my car (we had actually been out once b/f about a year earlier) - anyway I was done w/ this crazy-bitch and did not want her in my car thus I left her ass in the motel and just drove-off - about an hour after that she sent me a text threatening me that "I was gonna have to deal w/ her and her peoples" - I ran into her again after a month or so at the same club - she came-up to me and we got into an argument and she left it at that and went about her way - a few months later I started getting dances from her again ITC but knew better than to get involved w/ her OTC - have not seen her at the club in a while now.