A well thought out class. It seems very comprehensive too. This could improve many relationships!
Wouldn’t it be more effective to have a male subject to allow the women some “hands/lips on” training? I’d offer my services - as I’m happy to support all forms of education!
Most women think they give great BJ's because men enjoy even a bad one, but very, very women actually give good ones. I think sex education is helpful; in school all they teach is plumbing. I wish they'd teach how to improve the sex as well.
Most women think they (not only) give great blowjobs, but also are great in bed. Different subject but basically the same set of assumptions, founded upon the typical North American puritanical credo that sexuality is an exchange in which the female pleases the male by means of allowing access, and the male offers in exchange his emotional and financial support for a lifetime. Hence, the women assume, "I am having sex with him, and because he had an orgasm, that means it was good sex."
Sensible women could probably, of course, be disabused of that misapprehension. But in my experience, in my life it's been SO much of a challenge to get them to overcome this degree of culturally deep and pervasive assumption, that I've never really had a relationship with someone on the basis of standing outside of that assumption. I've never managed to get the girl to go, "Oh, hey, wow, if I don't WANT to have sex with him, then I'm NOT INTO HIM enough to be in a relationship," and then to say to herself, "I'd better express my sexual desire for contact with him more overtly rather than merely being a subjugated object of HIS desire." Generally, IME, even asking a girlfriend to initiate sexuality is met with extremes of misunderstanding and obliviousness. I'll find out three days later, "Hey don't say I never initiate sex! Three days ago, I wore a pink shoelace for fourteen seconds while you weren't looking, and man you didn't respond AT ALL so what am I supposed to do?" Of course, what she's SUPPOSED to do is ... duh ... use plain English to ask for it ... duh ... but talking her into doing that, in my experience, means saying something tantamount to "You are no longer physically appealing to me or to any other male on the planet, I denigrate you, you must now abase yourself and beg for my attention, I am an arrogant fuck." Her mis-translation is clearly a product of the same flawed initial assumptions.
The thoughts aren't entirely mine, I'll bet a lot of fellows have similar experiences. And some of us have better social skills than I do, so that they can actually talk someone into being a willing and participant partner without also ruining the relationship. I haven't managed that trick, yet ... I need more style and game, I guess.
8 comments
Latest
Wouldn’t it be more effective to have a male subject to allow the women some “hands/lips on” training? I’d offer my services - as I’m happy to support all forms of education!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEtUdDj8…
soooo true
Sensible women could probably, of course, be disabused of that misapprehension. But in my experience, in my life it's been SO much of a challenge to get them to overcome this degree of culturally deep and pervasive assumption, that I've never really had a relationship with someone on the basis of standing outside of that assumption. I've never managed to get the girl to go, "Oh, hey, wow, if I don't WANT to have sex with him, then I'm NOT INTO HIM enough to be in a relationship," and then to say to herself, "I'd better express my sexual desire for contact with him more overtly rather than merely being a subjugated object of HIS desire." Generally, IME, even asking a girlfriend to initiate sexuality is met with extremes of misunderstanding and obliviousness. I'll find out three days later, "Hey don't say I never initiate sex! Three days ago, I wore a pink shoelace for fourteen seconds while you weren't looking, and man you didn't respond AT ALL so what am I supposed to do?" Of course, what she's SUPPOSED to do is ... duh ... use plain English to ask for it ... duh ... but talking her into doing that, in my experience, means saying something tantamount to "You are no longer physically appealing to me or to any other male on the planet, I denigrate you, you must now abase yourself and beg for my attention, I am an arrogant fuck." Her mis-translation is clearly a product of the same flawed initial assumptions.
The thoughts aren't entirely mine, I'll bet a lot of fellows have similar experiences. And some of us have better social skills than I do, so that they can actually talk someone into being a willing and participant partner without also ruining the relationship. I haven't managed that trick, yet ... I need more style and game, I guess.