Q for the divorced guys

41 comments

• jackslash

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  7 years ago

  Q. How do you know your wife is dead?
  A. The sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up in the sink.
• TXbananas

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  7 years ago

  Funny thing, my wife is actually hot, and pretty good in bed; but she became such a disagreeable, hormonal, ignorant bitch that I couldn't put out for her any more. Dishes piling up? Definitely.
• DroidX

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  7 years ago

  I went through a divorce and absolutely came out the other side in better shape. If you decide to remarry, give yourself 3-4 years of freedom before getting married again.
  We often lose ourself in a marriage. This is a time for you to figure out who you want to be for the rest of your life. Oh, and take advantage of plenty of OTC.
• lotsoffun201

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  7 years ago

  I went through it. This is what I can tell you. Middle aged women don’t do well on the dating scene. Middle aged men with a decent career do just fine. PLUS we have strippers, escorts, Seeking Arrangement etc. If you don’t want to be alone you never will.
  
  Just remember this that I heard from a very wise man. “You don’t have to get married to get laid”!
• TXbananas

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  7 years ago

  ^^^ this I know. Thx brotha
• shadowcat

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  7 years ago

  I suffered through 27 years for the sake of the kids and fear of what a divorce would do to me financially. I got a better attorney than she did and came out of a mediated settlement in better shape than I thought. I got the house but was saddled with a horrible credit rating. It took me 3 years to dig out of debt but now I'm financially secure. I have no intention of ever getting married again and will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for those 27 years by hitting the strip clubs and scoring with some hot dancers. They are still cheaper than marriage.
• Lurker_X

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  7 years ago

  Although I never married, I did lose over 50 pounds in my late 40s, began dying my hair, had my clothes properly tailored. I feel 20 years younger and enjoy very much fooling around with inappropriately young women. I am getting to fondle, grind and kiss college aged girls now and I did not get to way back when.
  
  Dude, get in shape, spend your money, have a blast!
• TXbananas

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  7 years ago

  @shadowcat: good for you brother. My situation is a little different as my wife does well (for now) so money is not a big hang-up in the divorce. We have 2 teenage daughters we wilI manage 50/50, just want to get this all behind me.
  
  @Lurker: I have always been athletic and popular with the ladies, attention is not a problem. My current issue is that I have been out of the game far too long and need to learn how to relate to honeys 20+ years my junior. This next year is going to be interesting.
• Lone_Wolf

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  7 years ago

  OP: You are getting back into the game at the best time in history for older dudes wanting to spend quality naked time with beautiful, sexy, young women. I'm envious. I recommend going the sugar baby route. Congratulations on your new found abundance.
• Rick999

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  7 years ago

  I never got married. Currently unemployed looking for an engineering job before I plan on hitting the clubs again. I could probably get a job fast if I was willing to relocate anywhere but didn't want to right now at least not far.
  
  I imagine I would have been nagged to death if I was married. I'm glad I'm not married.
• Rick999

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  7 years ago

  I wasn't extremely happy with my last job after a different company took over and changed my job duties anyway. That sucks but oh well. Another place might be a lot better than everything the last place put me through. In that respect, sounds like I left a bad marriage. My health did immediately improve after leaving the company.
  Work, marriage, if it sucks, I guess you are supposed to do something different. Thank God there are strip clubs and plenty of alternatives.
  
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  divorcing my wife of 35 years was good. the bad thing was after seperating from her i went on a long lasting (over two years easily) las vegas strip club binge. it was fun... butt expensive. i was also investing, attempting to create wealth... but wound up spending and loosing all my savings. now i'm a bit wiser and still having a great time with the ladies. just not at the volume i would like. thank God for tj.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  You've done your time and paid your dues, now enjoy your second life and experience things you probably couldn't before
• TXbananas

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  7 years ago

  ^^^ thx Papi, you might have to take me under your wing.
• shailynn

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  7 years ago

  I always have in the back of my mind “it’s not a matter of ‘if’ but more of ‘when.’ “
  
  
• TXbananas

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  7 years ago

  @shailyn: I felt that for many, many years. I'm really excited for the future. I think this is going to turn out great.
• JAprufrock

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  7 years ago

  Been separated for five years, will probably never get divorced (long, complicated story), but for all intents and purposes I am divorced with little hope for reconciliation.
  To each his own. Every situation is different. Me, I'm dying little by little every day due to remorse, sorrow and anger. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's part my fault, part her fault, mostly the fault of others whom she let come between us.
  I would give almost anything to turn back the clock and have my family life back. I have so many fond memories of the way we were and the outstanding father I was and it kills me knowing it'll never be that way again.
  I don't have it in my heart to seek another relationship. But I also don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. That's why I started mongering, to a small degree, about a year ago. I don't like having to do this, but I need some sort of female companionship and I deserve it, like every man does.
  My advice to anyone would be to do whatever you can to maintain your marriage if there is any hope. But if the situation is untenable and you can part with no regrets, so be it.
• TXbananas

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  7 years ago

  ^^^ sorry my friend. I am also navigating all these weird emotions now.
• rh48hr

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  7 years ago

  JAprufrock - Thanks for sharing.
  
  Txbananas -
  I personally have given up on relationships. I feel as though my personality fits being in a relationship but I just don't pick them well. I've had a few relationships after my divorce and it seems as if all of the women I dated were damaged goods. My thought was once they saw I was different from the bad guys they were with before, things would be different. But it didn't, they couldn't get past whatever happened in the past. So I have just decided to live the mongering life as much as my finances and time allow. Remarrying was a possibility at one point, but not now. I enjoy not having to answer to anyone, having the freedom to do what I want when I want. The longer I am free, the more I am enjoying it.
• Htxx

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  7 years ago

  Yep. I may be the poster child for it. After I ended our 15 yr marriage because she was cheating on me because "all I did was work" the recession hit. Between taking care of our kids, (my oldest moved in with me full time at 13) as their mother was more interested in being the neighborhood whore than parenting, the alimony (I don't even want to tell you how much I paid after being put into the position of having to buy time with my kids), and then a forced BK due to the fact that while she got the house and most of the other assets I remained on the mortgages and of course she never got a job, or sold, or refinanced anything my life has completely turned around. The relationship I have with my children is unbelievable fantastic, I'm making tons of money again and have been since 2013, I'm three years away from ever seeing another snowflake and am fucking on average 3 different OTC women per week. Sometimes two at a time. I'm truly fortunate and incredibly thankful. I'll never get married again, have shed 250 lbs, (80 of it my own lol) and am having the (literally) best fucking time of my life. Dude, take it for what it's worth though, unless you want your girls to be on a pole too someday make your kids and your time with them an absolute priority. They'll need you. I didn't bring my ATF (or any woman for that matter) around my kids until about 7 years after the divorce. But to each their own. What worked for me may be different for others. Take care and enjoy!
• warhawks

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  7 years ago

  I echo the guys who are recommending it.
  
  I stayed in my marriage probably 10 years too long. But didn’t want to get divorced because of my kids.
  
  I won’t lie, going through the divorce was the hardest thing I’ve had to go through in my life. Lost everything because I couldn’t afford a lawyer and wanted to make sure my kids were taken care of instead of trying to get everything g I could from my ex, so she got it all.
  
  But I have to say, 4 years later, I am as happy as a pig in shit. Should have never stayed in that marriage for as long as I did. Getting divorced was the single best thing I’ve ever did and while it took a while, I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long, long time. When you are in those shitty situations, you forget what it’s like to be in a good relationship and when you start to date again, it’s like being enlightened to what it should be like instead of what you were going though in life being married.
  
  I’d never get married again. Ever.
  
  Good luck man. It will get better, from someone who’s been through it and knows.
  
  
• TXbananas

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  7 years ago

  ^^^ thx for that. I appreciate all the honest replies and words of encouragement. This is hard to go through for a creature of habit, but I understand that I will better off as time goes on.
• jackslash

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  7 years ago

  I've been divorced for 12 years now, and I enjoy my life. My children were adults by the time I divorced, and so I had no custody issues. Now that I have retired, I have no bosses at home or at work. I do what I want when I want everyday.
  
  
• Rickberge

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  7 years ago

  Sorry youre going through this OP.
  
  But Man just reading some of these comments from a lot of you older vets.. is divorced inevitable?
  
  I've only been married for a year and some change (got married at age 33 wife was 29) but seems after 10-20 years most people are getting divorced. And I know every situation is different but I'm trying to avoid that shit. Just seems like the system is designed to fuck over the man if you go through a divorce.
  
  
• rh48hr

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  7 years ago

  This is a small sample size Rick. And take into account that you are not a strip club site so most of the reasons guys are here is because of relationship issues, even that isn't the reason every guy is here.
  
  I have lots of friends who at least from the outside look happily married. Love your wife, don't take her for granted and don't assume things are going to go bad.
  
• Htxx

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  7 years ago

  @rick pre nup buddy. Hind sight. Divorce may be inevitable if you're continuing to hang out in the clubs after having been just recently married. Of course, I did the same thing entertains customers and clients all work related. Problem is even though I for the most behaved myself money, booze hot women that are wild can lead to a little to much temptation. That is presuming you're happily married in the first place. In hind sight (take it for what it's worth) if I were you and you're even thinking about having a family while your wife is "open" to it i.e. Before kids I'd insist on a post nup. The only condition? If your marriage ends in divorce AND you've had kids that there be an equal custody 50/50 parenting time arrangement. Trust me. My divorce was incredibly expensive but the real pain came I when I was going to be put into an every other weekend position as a dad. Fuck that. So... I paid. Ultimately that'$ all it was about for my X. She didn't give a shit about anything or anyone else. Putting the personal stuff aside, as an adult you (I) can deal with that. But minor kids being used as pawns for money purposes? That shit isn't right. If I'd have demanded a post nup many years ago even though I thought I was happily married, she would have agreed to it. Especially since I would have taken money issues out of the equation and focused only on parenting time. That's my two cents worth. It cost me over $4,000,000 to be "allowed" to be a dad post divorce. Mind you I'd do it all again, losing the money was nothing compared to the emotional damage inflicted on my kids. If there had been a parenting agreement in place it would have been so much better.
• TFP

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  7 years ago

  Such an eye opening thread. Thank you all for sharing your stories.
• Rickberge

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  7 years ago

  @)rh48hr nice way to put it into perspective. But it's just even the guys that I talk with (older), they just don't seem excited talking about their marriage. Even when I was telling everyone I was engaged. The women were excited but the men was like "oh okay cool. Congrats and goodluck" lol
  
  @sal69 damn man you just made me feel guilty as hell for getting excited about the next new stripclub I'm going to visit lol... but you're probably right. I may need to chill. The shit can be addictive. The wife knows I go and I even tell her when i do go. She knew I liked stripclubs before we started dating. Sometimes we go together. But she doesn't know about the high-mileage dances though... not sure if she'll go for a post-nup. That may open up a can of worms even if I just mention it.
  
  Thanks for the insight.
• Htxx

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  7 years ago

  Guilty feelings weren't my intention hope you know that. I'm the least judgemental guy out there or hope I am. Your post brought up many memories that's all. I went to the clubs with my X when we were dating, engaged and after having been married. So there's that similarity too. I was just saying that if I'd known or had thought of it when I thought we were both happily married prior to having kids I'd have made it a condition to having kids. What "right minded" woman living you with her whole heart would try to take away kids from their dad? She doesn't need to go for shit, just like you don't need to agree to be a dad either. Things, time, people change especially after kids come into the mix. Differences in Parenting styles, money management, in laws, education, goals all the little things you don't think about (or at least I didn't) when you're dating and engaged and the sex is great come into play. Now you've got little human tape recorders running around watching and learning from every move you make good and bad. If you're not completely in sync with your wife and on the same page well... Trouble starts to brew. Good luck that's my history, which at least sounds preliminarily like it has some similar origins to yours.
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  The court system really fucks over the guys when it comes to divorce.
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  "when i was single my pockets would jingle"
  
  marriage can be fine when there is kindred spirit love. (or maybe close to it.)
• Rickberge

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  7 years ago

  @sal69 I was just messing with you. But yea you made some valid points. And I'm starting to experience the things you are talking about. Especially the In-laws shit... Jeeze, it's becoming a pain in the ass. That's probably why I stay in the stripclubs to get my mind off of some of this shit lol
• Htxx

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  7 years ago

  The worse my marriage got, the more I worked/clubbed and the more money I made meant buying more assets. Vicious cycle. I was sofa king miserable the last 10 years of my marriage I was working over 70 hours a week. Work never seemed like work as I love what I do. Work was having to be around my X. The more I made the more she spent. Bought a place in Naples sent her there for the summers. I could go on but I'm thinking you got the point. Seriously, good luck bro
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  There's often an adjustment period after a major life event, i.e. probably best to feel one's way thru it with patience and thought/perspective, than dive right into w/e one dives into
• JohnSmith69

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  7 years ago

  Getting divorced was one of the best things I ever did. Yes I was financially raped but it was still easily worth it. I spent a couple of years fucking a dozen or more strippers, including three dream strippers simultaneously. Two were teenagers. Then I started having sex with several non strippers closer to my own age. Not for one second have I ever even remotely missed the old ball and chain.
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  js69. "Then I started having sex with several non strippers closer to my own age."
  
  funny. i'm 67. no way would i even consider sex to ANY woman closer to my own age... (ok. maybe Christie Brinkley.)
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  After the end of a marriage you have no real choice except to reinvent yourself. This is not easy either.
  
  SJG
• skibum609

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  7 years ago

  Being married sucks. We had hours of yard work on Saturday which wife wanted done and I wanted to bet the Breeder's Cup races. Compromise. We bet the Horses through NYRA bets and watched on tv; spending 25 minutes in between each race in the yard. Drank, smoked weed, hit 3 out of the last four races after going 0-9 over 2 days and had some amazing sex after dinner. Being married sucks.
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  being married suckED! Not any more for me.
  
  SJG
  
  Hermetic Kabbalah
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRLOLa18…
• vincemichaels

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  7 years ago

  Unfortunately, reading our TUSCL guys' marital problems reinforces my joy in never getting captured that way in a legal sense. My sympathies to you all, guys.
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  Shadowcat, I understand your story.
  
  If you were again young, no kids, never having been married, would you be willing to consider marriage?
  
  Do you think there was anything in particular about your wife which made the matter so difficult?
  
  I ask you these things because you, like me, are one of those strongly anti-marriage. I'm curious to see how far you have thought it through.
  
  SJG
  
  Lenny Kravitz-Let Love Rule
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICcac0C6…