Hot Girl w/ the "Bad Boy" or Jerk
DougS
Florida
How many times have we all noticed that a smokin' hot girl wanted to be with the "bad boy" type guy, or the loser jerk that mistreats them?
What is up with that?!
I've been on the short end of that deal more times that I care to remember. I'm the nice guy... the guy that will treat the girl of my desires like a princess. Even though I may look as good as the "bad boy", her choice will be for HIM, not me.
I think it holds especially true with dancers. On what can we blame this phonomenon? I think it comes down to self esteem. More precisely the girl's lack thereof. I think the girl, for whatever reason, feels that she doesn't deserve to be treated well, and thus seeks out those that won't treat her well. I thnk the majority of dancers are also lacking in the self respect category, which is why I theorize the dancers are likely to follow this trend.
How does a nice guy compete? So far, the only way I've found is to find a girl that likes to be treated well - unfortunately, that girl is usually lower on the hotness scale.
What is up with that?!
I've been on the short end of that deal more times that I care to remember. I'm the nice guy... the guy that will treat the girl of my desires like a princess. Even though I may look as good as the "bad boy", her choice will be for HIM, not me.
I think it holds especially true with dancers. On what can we blame this phonomenon? I think it comes down to self esteem. More precisely the girl's lack thereof. I think the girl, for whatever reason, feels that she doesn't deserve to be treated well, and thus seeks out those that won't treat her well. I thnk the majority of dancers are also lacking in the self respect category, which is why I theorize the dancers are likely to follow this trend.
How does a nice guy compete? So far, the only way I've found is to find a girl that likes to be treated well - unfortunately, that girl is usually lower on the hotness scale.
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19 comments
All guys have a masculine and feminine side, as do all girls. Girls are most strongly attracted to the guys who are the most masculine, which means that they don't exhibit much in the way of feminine traits, eg. caring, sensitivity, etc. And then they bitch to their nice guy friends that the jerk they're with isn't caring, sensitive, etc. But they aren't attracted to that type, which I think is ingrained instinct. Why do they all want tall guys? Same thing, I think it's a basic instinct carried over from the days when the biggest and strongest were the best protectors and providers.
But that doesn't mean I like nasty girls. I just like the SERVICES that are supposedly nasty, which are available from nasty girls and aren't from nice girls.
Exactly! I've always had this mysterious attraction to hot "bad girl" types who are fun to be with but can't hold a regular job. Nice girls just don't do it for me. It must be due to my low self esteem.
The bottom line is that I can't be too critical of the women with those tastes, because as I've gotten older, I've developed increasing tastes for "bad" girls. I think that's why I hang in strip clubs so much.
Still to this day I don't know why they gravitated towards them.
I think the low self esteem answer is wildly exaggerated. Yes, it exists for women and men, hot or not. However, it's usually a rationalization for guys who can't figure out why beautiful women would ever want to be with men who aren't like them.
I'll add another reason: Misery loves company. But that doesn't help a nice guy like me. That's why I go to strip clubs: It's the only way I get female interaction. Sadly, I still don't get laid. Yet by stripclubbing, do I in fact become a jerk? (I will say that I don't know if strippers seek out the jerk while working. I don't think they're attuned to the "assholiness" of a guy. What matters is how much money a customer is going to spend on them.)
Then go back to all your childhood training, acculturation, school studies, especially literature and history classes, and you'll eventually realize, that the old lessons have been upside down all along. While stories seemed to say that girls want sensitive men, the same stories have also been saying that girls want men to bring masculinity into their lives. The supposed bi-polar opposition of "nice" versus "jerk" is nearly always subsumed into the same human. Often, the conversation gets confused somewhere around the definition of the word "jerk" (women don't want jerks or assholes; they DO respond positively to decisive, aggressive, arrogant men, whether or not they want them, even to the point of fucking them).
The last point I'd make, is that quite often, a woman wants one thing and fucks another. Perhaps in ORDER to change the jerk into "her" nice guy, she gives access to pussy. Or perhaps because she knows he's not "husband material," she is more comfortable fucking around with the jerk while making the nice guy "wait" to "prove his love."
I don't believe that there ARE nice guys. I think everyone who says to himself, or his friends, or this bulletin board, "I really want to remain a nice guy," is actually believing, "Wanting to have sex with a woman is a non-nice thing to want." What an asshole.
Off-topic: Book Guy, when you said many, many threads ago we should start a business, were you really serious?
I invite you to email me at book underscore guy at yahoo dot come. (The underscore character is a shift-hyphen on my keyboard.) I look forward to hearing from you.