So here's a scenario I want to set up in this discussion, and I'm sure a lot of you have been in this situation.
You're at a club, a dancer approaches and sits down next to you. She offers a lap dance to you, but you say no. Instead of walking away to look for another customer, she stays and keeps talking, trying to manipulate you into agreeing to a lap dance.
What do you do in this situation?
If you don't want to engage with her, shine her on quickly and politely. What she is trying to do is not wrong. The more forward the girls are being, likely the more forward you can be with them. But you do have to decide if you like her or not. And always be polite.
Best is to select the girl you want and approach her yourself. Pick the one you want to be waking up in the mornings with.
SJG
I might suggest you're asking the wrong question ... or maybe it's a fine question, but there's another question you should be asking yourself first: "she's in sales, I've indicated to her that I don't want a dance, and she's still staying. Why?" Maybe, it's because she can tell you're weak. If you're passive aggressive ("maybe later"), insecure demeanor and body language, etc., these girls VERY easily pick that up. And the more aggressive strippers know that an aggressive alpha female stripper can bully a submissive beta male customer VERY often.
The answer? She's a 20-year-old 110-pound girl in her underwear. Don't be a little bitch. Tips here: tuscl.net
Obviously, that's not all of it. I'm (usually) not a little bitch, and some hyper-aggressive girls sit and stay anyway, so I'm not entirely blaming you. But I will suggest if this happens to you fairly often, you should first work on your confidence and demeanor so that 90% of even the aggressive strippers just go away. THEN, you can worry about how to handle the rare exception.
If she does not leave after I ignore her for a period of time and if there is another table I will get up go to the men's room or the tip rail and change tables when I come back. I had one very annoying skinny girl in Harem House in Indy who would not leave even after the other ploy she followed(the place was not busy at all) I finally said loudly right after a song stopped so others could hear "No I do not want a dance from you but I will give you $5 to leave me alone" she called me a name and left. Another girl sat down laughing and told the the little bitch did that all the time and usually does not leave until she has extracted at least two dances for a guy.
She's a 20-year-old 110-pound girl in her underwear.
Or she's a 35 year-old with a knife who isn't opposed to the idea of busting a beer bottle over your head. It hasn't been the 20 yo's who have been that aggressive in my dealings, anyway.
I agree with the sentiment of coming off as weak-willed drawing in the worst element, though.
-->"Or she's a 35 year-old with a knife who isn't opposed to the idea of busting a beer bottle over your head."
Dang, dude, you've been SCing at juice's fave places?
:) :)
@Subraman is right. Dancers are great at reading a guy and his demeanor. She sensed something in your answer and demeanor - and decided that she could get something if she lingered.
That being said, I've found dancers from different countries may require a more firm no.
Assuming that she's attractive but you just don't want to do anything with her, try to get her in your lap and get your hands on her. At least get something out of her for the time of yours that she's wasting. You've already said you're not interested; she needs to learn to back off or give it up for free.
Now come on, be nice. Use sexual interactions in a positive way, not a negative way.
SJG
Dang, dude, you've been SCing at juice's fave places?
Some of the places juice talks about sound way too upscale for my tastes. $100+ for a club to make a video of you and a dancer as the only way for a two-way dance to happen qualifies as clip joint territory to me.
IMO, it is way better to hang out at a dive and perfect the art of letting down gently the occasional knife-wielding 35 year-old.
I reject dancers before they sit down. I don't give them a chance to waste my time or theirs. I think that's fair for both of us.
I think it sounds a bit harsh to describe someone as a beta male. Whenever I described the situation, I may have omitted that I wasn't trying to piss her off or be rude. However it can come to that if she doesn't take no for an answer. 1 out of 2000 dancers I've met has not accepted no as an answer. If she doesn't leave when asked or knows you aren't buying dances, you can ignore her or walk away from her. I think in one case the dancer felt so rejected, she might have quit. I did not intend that.
A more rude way of saying no is what I heard one night, "go away bitch, we don't want any freaking dances!" Now that is a rude way to give a hint. If you've been asked for dances over 200 times in less than 2 hours, your problem is not getting rid of dancers, you need to keep a few around a bit longer than 3 seconds.
On the other hand a dancer that stays at your table can have an advantage. I've had a dancer hold my table while I went to the restroom.
Leave, and go up to a girl you like. You score points w the new girl, and might grow some balls in the process. ;)
I have wondered if I was acting like a beta male when a dancer said she was going to suck my dick. I stood my ground and called her bluff. She wasn't joking. She claimed she knew me years ago. Must have been a parallel Earth. I didn't recognize her. I think she liked me. I once read a tip that it's best not to argue when she has her mouth full. She didn't even ask for any money either. Another weird dancer. Maybe she was really an alien female posing as a dancer. You never know where some of these girls come from.
^maybe some of them escaped sjgs basement? That long away from civilization can be tough readjusting.
STAGE 1:
"I don't want to waste your time. I'm not really in the mood to buy dances right now. I won't be hurt if you want to go talk to someone else."
STAGE 2:
"I'm not interested and I'd like to chat with some other dancers. Good luck with the rest of your night."
STAGE 3:
"No joke, I'm not going to give you any money or buy any dances. If you're not going to leave, then we'll talk to a manager about how you're stopping me from spending my money."
If she tries to coerce me into buying her a drink before she goes or tipping her for her 'time', I just say "No." No embellishment, just "No." If she asks why, I say "Because no."
At that point, she'll usually stomp away. I may or may not be called a mean name or something. I don't care.
I ran into a very persistent dancer my last trip to a club in NYC....to the point of absurd. I hadn't experienced anything like her on any level ever. Afternoon at a club and for whatever the reason she locked in on my like a Shark on Quint's legs in the movie Jaws.
The only reason I let it go as long as I did was I had ordered lunch and was with a long time friend that wanted to go to the club. Even the bartender was embarrassed ( we were sitting at the bar trying to eat and take in the scenery)
BTW I tried BJ99's advice--didn't work.
Tried Ishmael version one and two.....nada.......
Of course the odds of me ever setting foot in that establishment again is slim and none.
I can count on one hand the number of times I've had to use some version of Stage 3. But yeah, those ridiculously persistent dancers are out there.
Most of what Ishmael says. If she's at least good looking, or I'm feeling especially choleric that day, I might insert "How's your head game? Spit or swallow? Can I use your hair as 'lube' while I jack off on your face?" somewhere.
That's why i have 9-1 predialed in my phone. If anything happens i can just hit 1 again and call right away...
But seriously. don't play her game. Use your body language and turn away, actively look over her head and call another girl over, leave, tell her she's wasting her time. Or sometimes if I'm feeling playful... tease her for my own enjoyment.
