You know it is going to be a shitty lap dance when...

It's going to be a shitty lap dance when all she does is approach and ask "wanna dance?"

When you notice brown marks on her leggings before she starts.

It is going to be a crappy lapdance when she refuses to cum to confession

She looks into your eyes, gently holds your hands ... and places them on the couch on either side of your butt

...... she asks for prepay in clubs where prepaying dances isn't customary. The number of fingers I'm holding up on 1 hand now are the number of prepay dancers in the past 20 years whose dances were worth a shit.

Gotten good dances from wanna dance girls. Low hustle straight to the point i dont mind.

I would say BO but i dont mind a little.

Front Room Makeout Session!

Buying dances is for chumps!

SJG

Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven (Live Earls Court 1975) youtube.com

No Quarter youtube.com

^ STFU!

You're an insufferable hyper-repetitive bore!

You know it's going to be a horrible dance when her top comes off and those round boob's turn into fried eggs on a nail LMFAO

lmao @ Juicebox69 so true

After you prepay? Why would you do that?

You know it is going to be a shitty lap dance when...she starts the VIP upsell while waiting for the song to start.

Most clubs here are prepay for VIP not a lot of lap dances done here

You know when it's going to be a bad dance when she starts the dance o the wall

LMFAO...Air dance....palm to face

I agree with juicebox69 on both of his comments

Says anything about not being handsy at the start Points out locations of non-existent cameras

One and done always

1. Never prepay. I don't think I ever did

2. What stripper actually brings up "rules"

...when she says she doesn't swallow.

@Kingcripple most clubs in my area require prepayment for VIP, and I had one bring up rules this past Thursday as soon as we get into the VIP. Got a light contact dance on my knee and a lot of annoying conversation. Her rules, no touching tits or between her legs. For 50 more I could touch her tits, no mouth on her anywhere. Yada yada yada

I always pre pay and 98% percent always have a great time

... hands at the side (and/or she puts them there).

... says, "ah, no touching."

... she insists that you put your legs together. The pretty much means a 1/2 half lap sitting, no touching, "1/2 interpretive air-dance."

When you prepaid (club rules) for a $300 for 30 minute VIP session, you get in there and the first thing she says is; "Let's sit down and talk for awhile and get to know each other a little better"... sad but true story.

When I've been dumb enough to pre-pay, there have been times when the moment the money goes into her hands, I can see the life go out of her eyes.

I know I'm cooked at that moment.

Pre pay? Surely you guys are not serious?

What logic do you use to justify that behaviour?

Logic has nothing to do with it.

Not something I've done remotely recently, but I've made bad decisions in the past.

Maybe you missed the part that said "Club Rules"....