Follow up on a previous post looking for advice.

avatar for Stognasty
Stognasty
Everywhere. Currently Phoenix
I posted an update in my last post but got very little response. I'm thinking since it's an old post no one is seeing it. Sorry if this is frowned upon. And sorry the post is long as hell.

Update: since posting last I've been back twice. The first of those two visits was on a fairly busy Friday afternoon. I fumbled around in the dark looking for an empty seat, ordered a drink, and enjoyed the stage show for a few minutes. I saw the blonde I've got a thing for with another customer, bummer. She went on stage and saw me, smiled and waved. I did likewise. I was then approached by another dancer I've did VIP with before. We ordered drinks and talked for a few minutes. Then she asked if I'd like to go back for some more privacy. Paid the VIP fee and went back for about 20 minutes. She went down on me after a song or two and gave it a good effort. The sensation was great but oral doesn't always get me there and sometimes actually makes it almost impossible. While my dick was in her mouth I realized I'm not really that into her and call it quits. I guess the fact that fake tits aren't really my thing and her snatch, while not stinky, didn't exactly smell like roses either, turned me off. I thanked her and payed up, with a decent tip, because I'm a gentleman after all. I still had about $150 I'd planned on spending but needed to step away from the stage area to check a message on my phone. As I'm walking toward the exit the blonde runs up to me and gently grabs my arm.
"You aren't leaving me are you?" She asks coyly.
"No," I reply. "I just needed to check on something."
She offers to find us a seat and I agree.

When I joined her she she draped her legs over mine and stroked my thigh. We made small talk for a few minutes which isn't my thing but whatever. Then she asks if I know the dancer I was in VIP with to which I replied not really. She introduced me to her friend and introduced the idea of doing doubles. He friend had really nice big tits but her face and ass were lacking. She asks if I'd like some dances or to just talk some more. I'm not a big talker so we go to VIP for about five songs. I let her know how much I had left to spend for the day and I know she was disappointed lol. She was very sensual and did some decent grinding and a little stick shifting. About two songs in I notice she's clock watching or either interested in something going on the main club area. This kills the vibe and mood for me and my boner was gone. Still, I'm hooked from our first encounter. I asked about her schedule which she gave me. I left after and promised to see her again soon.

I Went again today with the intention of only getting dances from her. She was on stage when I arrived and immediately came to my seat when she was done. We talk for a minute and I order a drink and offer to buy her one because I know that's a thing people do, lol. She replies, "I don't drink and I don't want you to pay $5 for a water I can get for $1." We hung out for a while and she doesn't bring up dances at all. Finally I say, "I've done VIP with you. What's the deal with the private rooms?"
She explains, "That's where you go if you want more privacy and intimacy."
I ask her where she prefers to go.
"That depends on what you want to do," she replies. "But, for the time we spent together last time the private room is a better deal. You get 30 minutes for $250, which includes two drinks, and then tip."
My plan was to get the private room anyway so that's where we went. I ordered my drinks and away we went.
She instructs me to sit in the corner and I comply. Apparently, I wasn't reclined enough so she pulls me down a little. She then straddles me and slowly removes her top. Dances were hot with lots of two way contact, nipple sucking, and ass grabbing. I was a little handsy myself lol.
She turned around and slowly grinds on me, arching her back and nibbleing my ear. Then she takes my hand and puts it on her pussy over her thong. I oblige and begin softly rubbing. She moved my hand a little then pulled he panties away and put my hand in. She was very wet. I rub a little and then slip a finger in. Holy shit! I had forgotten how tight her pussy is. One finger and no room for wiggling it! Still I work on it. Hitting her g-spot. She begins moaning and really grinding on me then reaches in and starts stroking with a nice rhythm. She changes positions. Bent over on the couch with her ass facing me. She guides my hand back to her tight little hole and I go at it again. Stroking on her g-spot and gently thumbing her clit. Kind of like when you grab a six pack.
At this point I realize it's been a while. She grabs our drinks to refresh us and I lightheartedly ask if they forgot about us. She checks and it's been 40 minutes.
"Bummer," I say.
"Are you done?" she asks.
To which I reply,"I don't want to spend another $250."
She informed me that They can't charge me more unless they notify us that the 30 minutes is up. I couldn't help but feel like I would be stealing her time if we kept going though so I decline. After a killer more light petting we make an exit and I promise to see her again soon.
I had a lot of fun with her. I can't wait to go back. But, I want to fuck. In the club. Trouble is I need it to feel organic. I'm not saying I don't want to pay for it. I just don't want to negotiate or do anything else that kills the fantasy of mutual wanting to fuck each other. I've been reading theough the forums a lot and checking out the articles as well. I still haven't found a method of making it happen that feels like we're just LETTING it happen. I'm really enjoying the slow build but I'm ready to close the deal now. Any advice on how to make this progress in a natural feeling way?

14 comments

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avatar for mmdv26
mmdv26
7 years ago
The best way is to just let it happen. Overthinking it and trying to develop a "method" is certainly a good way to destroy the compulsive nature of hot satisfying sex. Above all, remember: it's just sex.
avatar for HungryGiraffe
HungryGiraffe
7 years ago
If you want to fuck her, just ask. Asking to fuck isn't un-natural. These sex workers get asked to fuck day in and day out. Youre not forcing anything. Here's some more "natural assurance" for you. In the civvie world, asking for sex after first date is perfectly acceptable. So can't be any worse in a strip club.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
7 years ago
I think the OP wants it to "feel" like he's not paying for it when he's paying for it - or he may want her to fuck him b/c she wants to and not b/c of the $$$ - both tall orders in strip clubs and blurring the lines b/w the real-world and strip-club bizarro-world
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
7 years ago
I'll assume this is not a troll since if it is he sure as fuck went to a lot of work to write this. But yeah ima little suspicious at a guy who so freely admits to not having an erection in a strip club.

It's hard for me to see how you are going to manage sex in the club. You would do a lot better meeting one of these girls in a hotel room where she could give you a complete girlfriend exeprience. You would enjoy that a lot more than in the club. However, otc is complicated for newbies, and you've had so much trouble already I frankly don't think you're ready for it.

So a few suggestions on sex itc. Chose the most quiet and private room available, to minimize distractions. Then, ask your dancer if you could tip the bouncer or waitress to leave you guys completely alone the whole time. If she says that would work then do it. Finally, and this is very important and all newbies (and some veterans) screw it up. Before you commit to anything or go back to a room, you must talk to the dancer and specify exactly what you want. Tell her what sex act(s) you want, how/where you want to cum, whether condoms are involved, any other turn ons or turn offs, and definitely tell her that you demand no distractions. Be nice and not creepy, but confident and matter of fact. This is a business transaction, you are the customer, and you are trying to decide whether to buy her time. And sometimes you have to negotiate a ltitle bit. I know it can kill the mood but you can get the mood back when she is nude and ready to fuck. If you don't negotiate anything you will get ripped off and will not get what you want.

She should then tell you a clear either yes or no to everything you request (don't accept any version of maybe), and how much it will cost. You can of course try to bargain her down on the price. If she won't do something that is important to you, or she charges more than you want to pay, then move on to another dancer but be discerning. Don't just chose a slightly smelly pussy again. And again, you must ask about everything. You are clearly in an extras club so ask and be very clear and explicit without in any way appearing creepy. You must come across as if you have done this many times even if your scarred shitless. She's a whore, or at least she works with whores, and I guarantee nobody will be offended or upset by the questions even if they say no.

Last point. Ignore anything written by SJG. He has never been with a woman who doesn't drink gravy.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
7 years ago
You say you want to fuck in the club. What about OTC? I find OTC feels more like a date, more like mutually desired sex. The fantasy is better OTC.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
7 years ago
I'd tell him to read my stories of sex with the DS, but it would only frustrate him. What he wants is exactly what I had with her. Paid sex that doesn't feel the slightest bit like paid sex. My relationship with her was one in a million.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
7 years ago
> I couldn't help but feel like I would be stealing her time if we kept going

Accepting a gift isn't the same as stealing. It sounds like she wanted to keep going. My advice would be to accept this kind of offer. Not everything has to be metered by the nanosecond.

At one point, a favorite pointed out that they always gave us extra time. It sounded like she had pulled some strings. Another would give me her own 2-for-1 dances every time. Another would "start on the next song" but the waiting time together was better than most dances I have gotten.

Anyway, it's likely that she was extra motivated that night to keep you as a regular, especially after the other dancer moved in and she saw you walking off. It's also likely that the club wants to keep you as a regular and was cutting some slack on their side, too.
avatar for Stognasty
Stognasty
7 years ago
Exactly Papi. I'm sure some people here may think that's weird as shit. I know I'm paying for it. You know I'm paying for it. SHE knows I'm paying for it. But I want it to FEEL like she's dancing for me and then then decides,"I really want to fuck right now." I'm sure I'm probably just going to spend a lot of money and end up only fucking myself but I won't be able to really enjoy it if I have to negotiate for it. That's what wives are for.
avatar for Stognasty
Stognasty
7 years ago
JS69-I'm definitely not a troll. I AM a newbie. As far as not having a boner in a strip club, lol, she was a fall back because the girl I wanted was busy, and I'm picky about my pussy. I HAD a boner but there was no way stinky was gonna make me cum. I'm still young and I get wood when the wind changes direction, lol. Thanks for the advice though, and I've already realized SJG is full of shit lol.

avatar for Stognasty
Stognasty
7 years ago
Jackslash- I work a shit ton of hours. I'm in the medical field and often pull 60 hour weeks and call on top of that. Then with family obligations and what have you I'm left with little to no time for OTC interactions. If I did I would be trying to pull civie women instead. ITC is not only a convenience factor but also part of the excitement for me.
avatar for Stognasty
Stognasty
7 years ago
JS69-Also, I have no real life connection to any one here so if I had impotence problems why would I care if a bunch of nameless people on a strip club forum knew? I've also tried jerking off with a finger up my ass. It's on the internet now and no one but you people will ever know! That's the freedom of anonymity on the internet! I can tell you anything! Just get that shit right off my chest!
avatar for bvino
bvino
7 years ago
Given that we humans have the capacity of imagination i don't see a problem here. I have a few regulars that I have sex with ITC and over the many encounters we get to a point where the simulacrum of spontaneity is preserved. Usually it is their suggestion and the price is already known. This allows thing to take place in their own time and it is enough for me to fool myself for about twenty minutes but I always leave knowing the truth. Maybe I segment better than you but it works for me. Good Luck!
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
7 years ago
I don't understand why this is such a tall order. It's basically my MO every time I do a room. SJG takes it to the extreme, but his point about acting the same way you would with a regular girl isn't that for off base. Take your pants off, take her panties off, put on a condom, either it'll happen or she'll stop it. I'd be deliberate about all of those things, and even ask in a flirty way, forcing the issue at that point is much worse than negotiating ahead of time.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
7 years ago
Most women are not wired the way most men are - men are very-visual and are usually like microwaves that get turned-on/wanna-fuck as-soon as laying eyes on a desirable-woman - for women it's usually more than just the visual for her to wanna be w/ a guy (not saying the physical doesn't count; believe me I know :)) - for most-women to wanna be w/ a guy they rather take their time and get to know-him and fuck-him b/c of the type of guy he is not just b/c of the way he looks - thus a popular saying in the Latin culture - "men fall in-love thru the eyes - and women thru the ears".

PLs often go to SCs for immediate gratification and they are fine w/ getting-that if not looking just for that - strippers being women are usually not gonna be thinking at that level let alone that they are there for the most-part solely to just make $$$ (o/w most would not be there) - PLs are thinking w/ their dicks and strippers are thinking about getting-paid - i.e. unlikely a stripper, being a woman, and a stripper, is gonna be in the mood to fuck for the sake of fucking while in the club - PLs may go to the SC to fuck, but strippers don't become strippers so they can get to fuck and most that do-it do-it solely b/c they want/need the $$$ - i.e. for the most-part forget about her just being in the mood to fuck just b/c she wants to fuck you - sure it happens, but IMO not the norm by a fairly long-shot.
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