The Stripper Deadbeat Boyfriend

I talked to a girl on SA whose husband asked for an "open relationship" so she joined SA looking for some NSA action. In the course of conversation, she told me her husband hadn't worked in 7 years, she was the breadwinner, had things under control, and wasn't actually on SA looking for money, just discreet NSA sex, from a guy with his life together, which she figured guys on SA would be more prepared to handle.

So, that got me thinking, if this guy's been out of work for 7 years, what kind of woman does he think he's going to find in this "open relationship" of his. Then it dawned on me - he's dating a stripper!

I love it (not) when the dead beat boyfriend/husbands show up at the bar and brag about how they just woke up.

the bitch deserves the treatment they get if they stay.

Chessmaster, i understand, just always wondered why strippers were attracted to deadbeats

Many women in general like bad boys. There is no reason to the sane person on why they stay with them,. On the other side, there are also guys who are in love with strippers and hope they will become their boyfriend which no sane person understands.

Both men and women settle when don't think they can do any better or are desperate for companionship. Once you are in love, sanity goes out the window.

This not limited to strippers. I have an employee who's husband is the same kind of deadbeat. Never holds a job, won't spend time with his kids, takes the money and goes gambling with it, does drugs etc. Yet she won't leave him and lets these behaviors continue. I used to feel bad for her, but after watching this continued drama I ignore it unless it spills over into work. Some women don't get it, or maybe they think they deserve it. I don't fathom it

From what I can tell -- and I will remind you, I got a C- in Psychology 101 freshman year at Blue Valley Jr College, so I am very qualified -- many of the stereotypes about strippers and their family lives are true, and that's where this starts. So many strippers have tragic stories about their family relationships, particularly their fathers, which lead to low self esteem and poor choices, which beget more stories of abuse and neglect, which beget low self esteem and poor choices, etc. An attractive girl doesn't stay with a guy like that unless there's already some damage, and the fact that sooo many strippers have guys like that, tells you the story. In my C- opinion.

Ironically, some of the strippers that have stood out to me are ones who went the opposite direction. And interestingly, the two strippers that I'm thinking of had similarly poor family lives. But, I'll never forget one of my very ATFs telling me a story about how she went out with some of the other strippers that past weekend. "All the girls were all hot and bothered about this super hot young bartender, and Mercedes was all bragging about how she's the one who got his number. Fuck that, I don't care about the help, I didn't talk to that bartender at all. But I got to know the owner really well." That same stripper, a few months later, was dating a really wealthy ex-customer.. and then, shockingly, broke up with him because he was a drug addict who relapsed, and she was too good to deal with that. I know a couple of strippers who've leaned that other way, won't date losers, expect their successful boyfriends to treat them like princesses, etc. This doesn't always work out either, of course, but I have to think it's a healthier outlook.

Most all have a sob story: I had one cute blonde try to convince me she had donated a kidney to on of her kids and was dancing as a second job to pay for the surgery.
If you have every seen the scar from a kidney donation it is Massive! She had a little bitty scar like a gall bladder removal scar...not. I just nodded and said wow that is so selfless!

It's very simple guys. Tom Leykis 101. Never heard of him? YouTube search. Life changing shit for us. I just need to remember to take the advice sometimes.

I could usually give two shits about their boyfriends, more often if they start talking about a boyfriend or a husband I move on, as I have no interest in their dramas.

Sal - I used to listen to his program all the time but I'll be honest I forgot about the rules. That's a great call.

strippers want to be in control. most will find someone less educated, less ambition, or less everything. it makes them feel better about themselves.
they also have kids with these deadbeats.

Always feel bad for girls like this....not bad as in I want to pay her bills but obviously there is something off to keep someone like that. But then again, there has to be something off for her to be in there to begin with.

A lot of factors at play here.

These honey's may be fun too play with but actually being in a serious relationship would be a drama fest. Most sane normal guys wouldn't put up with that BS too long thus the strippers may not have much of a choice but losers.

Women like to have their emotions spiked with drama. Normal dudes like stability and are kind of boring. Losers thrive on emotions and drama. Ex-cons can do fairly well with the honey's because of this too.

I've only seen the pics of a few stripper loser boyfriends. Almost every time I was thinking "wtf is a smoking hot honey like you doing with a dude like that?"

-->"These honey's may be fun too play with but actually being in a serious relationship would be a drama fest. Most sane normal guys wouldn't put up with that BS too long thus the strippers may not have much of a choice but losers."

That is a huge part of it, too. But I think the psychological damage is the fundamental *cause*, and her behavior and job are the effect. But in the end, between her behavior, and the fact that strippers may be beautiful but are at the bottom of the social ladder, her access to quality men for anything other than a short term fling will be very limited in any case.

One of the things I've read a lot on stripperweb, in answer to the question, "have you ever dated any of your customers", is that a huge number of the girls said yes, at least once. They have a pretty common explanation as to why the relationship didn't last: "once he found out I wasn't a fantasy but a real person, we broke up." That is, it was the customer's unreasonable expectation of her being a living fantasy that was the cause of the breakup. And I'm sure that was part of it. But I always think: it's not that he found out you were a real person, it's that he found out WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU ACTUALLY ARE. We expect real people, but a guy who hasn't dated a stripper before is going to be in for a shock around what kind of person she is. (speaking super generally of course)

I have met some of the boyfriends. They are uneducated, tattooed, unemployed (or employed in menial jobs). They do drugs, they commit crimes, they get locked up. They are violent and they beat up their stripper girlfriends.

Why do strippers like them? Why don't they prefer a man like me--educated, intelligent, well-off, responsible, and respectful of women? Could it have something to do with the fact that the boyfriends are younger, better looking, and more interesting (to strippers at any rate) than me?

When they find a good man they stop stripping. It is a filter. Eventially all of those capable of finding and keeping a good man are gone

In some cases, if the bf is the baby daddy, there may be another fear at work in the stripper - the fear of possibly losing her child/children.

My sister-in-law (a civie) was married to a real asshole. He stole the mortgage money to feed his cocaine habit and cost them their first home. Later on, he stole from his neighbours and ended up as a guest of Raiford Prison in Florida for a year. My sister-in-law finally got disgusted enough to throw his ass out, but did not file for divorce for years because he threatened to file for sole custody of their two sons. Frankly, I don't think there would have been a chance in hell of that happening, but my sister-in-law wasn't willing to run even that miniscule risk, plus the fact that there would have inevitably have been substantial legal fees to defend it. How much more risk would a dancer face in front of a judge?

My sister-in-law case had a happy ending. Her husband (in his late 40s) had been dating a 20 year old and wanted to marry her. To clear the way for that, he agreed to a divorce with zero custody. Three weeks after the divorce was signed off, the 20 yo realized the full implications of marrying the guy and kicked his ass to the curb!

Just one of the things that convinces me that there is a God, lol.

^^^ or at least Karma

Once a woman has decided she loves a certain guy he can get away with murder and the guys know it and abuse it. Really no logic involved, pure emotion ive seen it too many times to count. The bad boy thing is also very valid.

The thing to remember is when a girl is 21 she wants a guy that makes her heart race and pussy wet. A skateboarder, a drummer, an artist. She doesn't care about mortgages and 401ks.

If she's lucky that guy doesn't knock her up. If she's unlucky he does and she's sort of stuck with him.

"... I have met some of the boyfriends. They are uneducated, tattooed, unemployed (or employed in menial jobs). They do drugs, they commit crimes, they get locked up. They are violent and they beat up their stripper girlfriends ..."

Hey - nobody's perfect

Women are about relationships - many of us PLs are probably perfectly content w/ just fucking bitches; but (most) women are wired different.

Thus IMO many have deadbeat BFs b/c they want somebody to be with and the deadbeats are the only ones that will stick around and put-up w/ their dysfunctionality (or just beat the shit out of them to keep them in line)

women tend to like excitement and thrills. those type of guys provide that. good guys aren't exciting and women get bored with that. simple as that

^ aka nice guys finish last (at least mostly w/ stripper-like chicks)

I call these stripper boyfriends, "Lester". Ya know Sharon Stone's character: Ginger, in Casino? The stripper will NEVER leave them regardless of how much of a degenerate Lester is or how successful you the ATM are. The girls usually met Lester in high school, turn into addicts with them then have kids with them (my ATF has two of them with her Lester).

I don't think there's a lot of successful men out there that want to date strippers.

^ Sounds like fishsticks is admitting that he isn't very successful.

I'm not making judgement about the girl or the guy. But that is a socially challenged relationship. So if you get into the middle of it, watch out, because the girl is pulling his strings and he is trying to impress her.

Long ago for a brief time I filled in managing an apartment building. And I showed a unit to a girl with a baby. She was happy with the unit, hardly even looked at it. But the BF showed up, he rough handled a sliding glass shower door. He was not to be on the lease, but clearly was there and the girl was encouraging it. If it were just the girl and her baby, no problem. But with this guy and his ambiguous position, I told the owner not to rent to them, and she listened to me.

Yes, I would not want to deal with any stripper BF's. The problem is not really the BF, its that the girl keeps him around. So for myself, I would be finding some other girl to be involved with.

One of our TUSCL expert womanizers spoke of saying to the girl with in the first couple of minutes of meeting her, "I'm jealous of your boyfriend", made into a kind of a compliment. I see his point. Of course the girl can play that anyway she wants, and her position can change at any time. But at least get her on record of saying she has no BF.

SJG

Survival: The Phenomenon of Man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rxK3S6L…

"I don't think there's a lot of successful men out there that want to date strippers."

Is that a joke?

"Date" involves large commitments of time, not just convenient sex. It's why the girls get paid to leave.

It's funny perspective a stripper has when she gets all of the attention from men throwing money at her. She thinks she is so glamorous and attractive, but again she has yet to learn the other side of the coin. She has a shelf life and probably doesn't know about the transition/ metamorphism she needs to make in order to be a successful partner in a committed relationship.

For strippers it's a world where they are only trying to get what's theirs. They don't see themselves as part of a team, so they don't invest their time as being involved in a two way street. For them it's all manipulation for the end game, to get as much as they can out of you. Not all apply to this, but the % is so high you can rely on this mindset consistently for a better clubbing experience.

Meat72, I didn't know you had the perspective of a stripper to be able to understand how they feel and whether or not they recognize if their situations are glamorous!

My mom dated a few of her customers and ended up marrying one. I've had countless customers beg me to be their girlfriend. I have a pretty strict policy against dating customers though.

Nina, in our minds we all want to date a stripper (he'll, I've dated a few). We think it's all crazy sex with a beautiful woman. But for the most part (not always, but more often than not) there is so much baggage that comes along with a stripper it's just not worth it. Now I don't know you and you may be different so I meant no disrespect, and if you wish to discuss this further please message me.

We don't need to discuss it further. I was reacting to LFM saying no successful man wants to date a stripper. My sister has dated 3 successful men from strip clubs and she has so much baggage I could write a book about it. Some successful guys are bored with life and want to be the knight in shining armor.

nina is your sister as beautiful as you?

No. We are twins but I take the cake.

Thank you for the compliment though. :)

The DS had a complete asshole, very violent, drug dealer fuck buddy who she saw regularly. The relationship ended very badly for her. I will never understand why gorgeous young women chose such horrible company. However, whatever the real reason, it is probably the same reason that they prostitute themselves to strip club customers. They make bad decisions to fuck us, and those bad decisions extend to other areas of their lives.

"I will never understand why gorgeous young women chose such horrible company. "

Me either

*shrugs shoulders*

For the most part, I believe that sane men want to fuck strippers, and that's it regardless of what they tell them. Some might even think they want one as a GF but quickly come to their senses if they are presented with the opportunity.

At the same time... I would think a dancer would be crazy to want a customer as a BF.

"... I will never understand why gorgeous young women chose such horrible company ..."

Predictability if boring - young hot party-type girls often want excitement and to live on the wild-side one minute at a time

Show me a hot women, and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her.

Show me a fat and ugly PL, and I'll show you a woman he had to pay to fuck.

Show me a nappy headed hoe, and I'll show you Nina!

"Nappy headed hoe"? lol! you're crazy. Sorry I have long beautiful thick hair and you're probably bald as fuck.

"Show me a nappy headed hoe, and I'll show you Nina!"

Which clearly exemplifies that this nappy headed hoe you're speaking about is not me. Like, are you saying I'm the opposite of a nappy headed ho? Since, you know, the phrase you are speaking about does not even relate. Can you ever not fail?

Mad cuz my hair is long and you're a baldie. Hahahaha. Shut up baldie. Jealous of my hair.

I have rockstar hair, and you wear extensions when you can't find time to straighten it. Nappy headed Nina, the hoe!

Ho for sho'

The funniest part of this internet argument is that NinaBambina is only denying being nappy-headed.

^^^ Why what are you saying? Is she not denying being a hoe?

Lmfao!!

"I have rockstar hair, and you wear extensions when you can't find time to straighten it. Nappy headed Nina, the hoe!"

Ok... I don't even straighten my hair typically, my hairdresser does 90% of the time. My hair is 16 inches and I wear 20 inch clip ins even when my hair isn't straight, I'll curl the extensions to look just like my beautiful wavy/curly natural hair. Not sure why you've cataloged my hair experience or why I'm deemed "nappy headed" to you (you fuckin weirdo) when you haven't seen my hair neither straight nor curly. Hm...

Ppwh - because he's being an ignorant shit as always. I am beautiful, he is probably ugly. I profit off my beauty, he does not. And I have beautiful mixed-girl hair that I fucking love... and so do customers.

As far as being a ho, there are guys who've met me from here and they can tell you otherwise. I don't need to ho myself for money, I have other attributes. :)

There you go affirming your personality damage so indicative of dancers who have to edify themselves, and incriminating yourself by admitting your stylist straightens your hair. Include the part where you tell us you wear extensions and we have a trifecta of Nina the Nappy Headed Hoe!

Rofl!!

^^^ Lol!

Nina probably believes OJ was innocent, too! And maybe Johnnie Cochran played the credibility card. Of course Johnnie couldn't have played any other cards according to Nina's world.

What am I stating, Nina's mom was on her 3rd baby daddy by the time they went to trial. With all of that screaming in her house it is unlikely anybody could hear the TV.

My mom has one baby daddy, her first husband, who she had twins with. No other kids. Nice try, bigot.

You and Johnnie Cochran would make for a good legal team, defense team that is. Probably good at pulling out the race card by baiting and switching people into conversations about your nappy head and ashy skin. Lol!

Thank you.

You want to talk about nappy hair then curl into a ball when I call you a bigot.

Omg look at this nappy headed ho that I apparently am. Pardon the expressionless face and snap chat filter. Hehe

http://imgur.com/a/OWK6X

You're not familiar with snap chat. Lmaooo.

Just admit it: "Nina, you're beautiful."
You'll sleep better tonight.
You're welcome, tuscl.

;)

It seems a little presumptive to assume that Meat72 doesn't profit from his beauty. I have always pictured him as kind of a 1980s David Lee Roth with long, flowing hair and a bare chest with bulbous pecs. I mean, yeah, maybe he shaves it, but you won't catch me complaining.

Ppwh that was 30 yrs ago.

Yeah, so with David Lee Roth no longer in the picture (he even cut his hair, wtf!), that makes a present day equivalent of what he was back then that much more desirable.

wow did I miss something? LMAO

Read up on the psychology of the female mind, how "bad boys" are the main choice of women and you have your answer. If you want to"save" her, you have a lot of work to do my friend

It's all there in black and white.

LFM - You only missed meat72 being the bitter racist that he is, attacking me seemingly for being part black. I mean, you don't just start telling a woman that she has "nappy hair" and "ashy skin" when you've never even seen her, or start randomly saying I think OJ is innocent (false) or that my mom has 3+ babies (again, false, she has one) and then claim those statememts weren't racially driven. He hasn't denied that because they were in fact racially driven, clueless, and classless remarks.

3+ baby daddies.* She has two babies, both from the same pregnancy (twins).

Never seen a picture with your face before.....good stuff Nina

Lol thanks.

Larry: "I don't think there's a lot of successful men out there that want to date strippers."

Well we have our very own JS69. I never followed his novels. But apparently he is a successful lawyer (yeah, a second tier job) and he wanted to date an 18 yo stripper, wasn't it?

Now the guy clearly is not playing all his marbles, but you got to imagine there are others like him out there. There's tons of stories of people successful careers and messed up personal lives.

Ppwh, yes it is true that I'm an ageless wonder. The profit I've deriven comes from not paying strippers for sex.

Nina, if I was a bitter racist, then you'd be one too for calling me bald. It's funny how being called a "nappy headed hoe" transforms me into being racist, since I live nappy heads. It's particularly funny how you don't bat an eye about being called a "hoe", because apparently that is something far less offensive to you. Thing is, I like nappy headed hoes and you seem to want to play the race card immediately on that.

I guess you'll make an awful legal expert considering your command of the English language. How's that law degree coming anyway? Bet you've not finished one post graduate credit. Lol! Loser wannabe posting on tuscl how great your are. Not!!

Isn't stripper deadbeat boyfriend as redundant as fishsticks douche?

"Nina, if I was a bitter racist, then you'd be one too for calling me bald."
Um... wtf are you talking about? Are you saying black men can't be bald? There are plenty of bald men of every race. You are confused.

I called you racist after you, knowing that I am part black, decided to call my hair nappy and my skin ashy and then proceed to bring OJ Simpson into the mix (YOU, not me) while stating my mom was probably on her 3rd baby daddy by then and that the household was probably really noisy during the trial. I did not talk about race or call you a bigot until you made those racially driven comments. If you deny that those comments were racist, then you're fuckin' crazy.

(Don Imus was fired from CBS for calling a womens's college basketball team "nappy-headed hoes" btw for its racist undertones.)

I'm proud to be mixed though, so if you *attempt* to berate me because I'm park black then that's pathetic and means you had to stoop to ad hominem racial issues in order to attempt to criticize me.

;)

I always wondered if it was a racist comment if a dancer once said I must be half black if I didn't think I was. I thought she was just overreacting. I could be related to Vikings, or Attila the Hun or even Blackbeard or have some ancient evil ancestor but no reason to bring up some racial stereotype. I always thought it was amusing in high school that I'm descended from the barbarians that the Romans couldn't conquer. If you got back far enough, we are all related to each other. Our blood and genes have been mixed for thousands of years even if people don't know it. I read the entire human race got wiped out to less than 10,000 people less than 200,000 years ago when there used to be over a million people. That event wiped out 99% of humanity. We almost went extinct. I digress again.

Very true Sharkhunter. It's good to see that at least one out of the previous two posts aren't ignorant and stupid.

Those who focus on race and are quick to point out racism are likely the most intolerant and ignorant humans alive. Just think "Black Lives Matter" and any liberal who believes in Bernie Sanders movement. The real racists are those who use the bait and switch method trying to start a fight for no reason, like Nina and her "nappy head"!