Constructive critisisum of a new review im about to post

JuiceBox69
Fucking on Young N Dumb Chicken Heads
Below is a copied and pasted review I just submitted to a local club I just visited before work tonight...I'm honestly trying to up my game and learn from the best at reviews aka papi

Please let me know what I should learn to add it omit to make my reviews better...I want to eventually be known as one of the best

Papi you inspire me to do better...thank you my friend and tuscl alumni

After reading some reviews and realised it has been a damn good minutes since my last visit or review I would drop in for a drink or two just to check it out before work lol.

Admissions is still $10 to get in unless you wear a club shirt or come in with the club coupon from the local paper mountain Xpress then it's $5...also don't forget that on Tuesday nights if you play the poker game you get in for FREE.

When you first walk in you will be in the lobby with a very sexy and busty blond MIlF that loves to flirt, give out hug's and accept tips lol...I actually wished she danced. I assume she did in her past but I have never seen her accept as the door girl.

Then you walk through the double doors and instantly you have the bar to your right. The bartender will usually be a sexy young chick that will welcome you with a smile. Majority of the times a few dancers will be at the bar as well and they usually perk up and welcome you with hugs. It's a fun environment. Usually drinks run $5-$10 just depending on what you get. Any time you buy a chick a drink it will run $10-$15 for whatever damn reason and this club is so clean it's definitely a watered down drink. Although your drink will not be watered down nope my friend they hook you up right for what you will spend on your drinks.

Girls are typically tall spinner chicks with large to small breast majority natural with a few bolt ons. If any AA dancers it will be one or two and usually no more. I've seen a Hispanic chick in the past and an Asian but it's not the normal situation. Usually chicks 21-32 with light to heavy tattoos. Typical college girls basically..Asheville is a college town with UNCA Bulldogs having a great basketball squads.

Dance prices typical run $25 per and on the hour or any time you ask really you can get 2-4-$40 deal that comes with a tea or your choice of club colors purple, white or Black with a treasure chest symbol on the front...you can opt for a beany or a cap. You can also get 5 dances for $100 if you just ask. Usually the club will cut you a deal if your going to spend. Mileage in VIP at these prices is one way..you will usually be instructed to sit on your hands or to shove them in the couch cushions lol..I prefer the couch cushions because it allows for light calf touching that is usually OK...some times you get the right girl and she will creative find a way to get her tots close to a hand. Some girls grind really well on your erection while others will avoid it. Their is a few air dancers but usually you will get a solid one way grind with light to heavy breast feeding.
A quick description of the VIP is four or five black leather couches up against the wall behind a curtain their is a black peace of some kind of wood giving you privacy from the guy beside you on the other couch. It's unfortunately well lite and camera rolling with either a DJ, head dancer or a bouncer watching from the DJ booth on TV across the room.

If you actually want to touch their is a way to do so. One and the cheapest way is in the front room. Buy your girl some drinks and or tip under the table and you can get pretty damn hands on and no one seems to give a shit lol yet if you go VIP and touch the DJ will get on the overhead and call you out to not touch his girls lol. At the table you can touch upper and lower back, ass, stomach, shoulder, arm's, thighs and such...usually the breast are off limits and the puss is always off limits

The breast lol yes they are off limits because it's a main selling point for the champagne or Treasure room. 15 min is $170, 30 min is $280, 60 min is $500 they don't even sure you champagne hence the name change LMFAO...it's extremely over priced and you can use some of that money to get to South Carolina at lest and pay for champagne at half this rate lol. With this said I will give a few pointers. One you can touch all over except the pussy. If you can LDK you will pop one off...their is no extras regardless your price your might be willing to pay...trust me I've tried...the room is very private in a room all by itself and it's nice and spacious but you will notice a camera rolling and yes you are being watched by some staff member from the DJ booth. It's only worth it if you find a girl you post have other than this you should avoid based on bad pricing...if they would cut the cost in half it might be worth it. With that in mind if you show up on a Monday or Tuesday you can get a deal on those room's you just need to ask and have the money to spend..I've got the 15 min $170 for $100 many times on a dead night I've even been quoted the $280 30 min at $200.

This is not a bucket list club to travel to but if you find yourself in town on Business, family or vacation to see the Biltmore House and the fall leaves this club can be a nice relaxing visit to laugh with friends, have some drinks and play with some adorable college age stripper's.

Also if you want food the club will let you order from a local restaurant and cater it yo you at a jacked up price.

I'm a local so I will always stumble in
Juice

25 comments

Latest

JuiceBox69
7 years ago
Just noticed I forgot to add the main dance stage description and the parking lot description and bathroom lol

I really need to submit reviews no longer on my phone...my words program would be better...I could edit and check to see if I got everything

I assume this is papi techneck


I need to stop being lazy if I'm seriously considering upingg my review game
Kenjamin
7 years ago
Your review is so goddamn long. Consider putting a TL;DR section and just say if we should go to the club or not and how much lapdances are.
ppwh
7 years ago
The only problem with this kind of review is that it sounds like a challenge to management to have the bouncers to crack down on front room friendliness.

Btw, what kind of teas do they offer? Anything herbal or does it all contain caffeine?
JuiceBox69
7 years ago
LMFAO you guys crack me up

I should take a page from papi and do a cliff note section and have a number beside each main point with an outline in my intro

Never understand that but I just know got it

I'm on my way


JuiceBox69
7 years ago
When I get home I'm going to copy and paste this review into my word program and see if I can't make this review longer, better, easier to read, a summery, an outline and so on

Shit I might just pull up one of papi reviews for a guide line to help improve my delivery

I'm looking forward to seeing how I can improve
JuiceBox69
7 years ago
Would really like to be able to write some epic Detroit reviews once I'm finished with my tour
JuiceBox69
7 years ago
I wonder what papi chulo does while righting his reviews ?

Coffee, liquor, meal , all the above ?

ppwh
7 years ago
Also, I like the reviews that talk about the pattern of the carpet and how many shakes the reviewer did at the urinal (too many and it makes me wonder if the dancers were doing their job)

Maybe take that energy spent explaining which parts you can touch for free in the front room out on writing Yelp reviews on which McDonald's locations are the best to shit at. ie., is the one over by Biltmore Village really that much better than the one on Tunnel Road?
JuiceBox69
7 years ago
Txtutty LMFAO

Ppwh halruous yes it is...the one in bilmore makes the workers work in suits no shitty you

They even have a grand piano at that McDonald's
JuiceBox69
7 years ago
Also damn excellent points I should consider when making a review jammed backed full of helpful information with entertainment
crazyjoe
7 years ago
You shit the bed on this one
crazyjoe
7 years ago
Actually, I really don't know. I haven't has time to read it yet
JuiceBox69
7 years ago
Fuck you Jackie
chessmaster
7 years ago
Learn how to spell.
JuiceBox69
7 years ago
Reely
twentyfive
7 years ago
We need more info like is the bathroom troll qualified and what he does rong, the managers suit does it fit well, what type of shoes does the door girl wear, do the valets race your ride in the parking lot, and most important of all is the club still in existence and did it ever really exist.
JuiceBox69
7 years ago
LMFAO
JuiceBox69
7 years ago
Fuck you Jackie
HungryGiraffe
7 years ago
Careful Juice, you're outing yourself as an intellectual powerhouse. Some think you're a dumb ass. I see you as a really thoughtful smart fella. LOL!

My simple recommendation is to not try to copy anyone. Be yourself. The original Juice is a rock star! With all due respect to our amazing bro Papi C, why the fuck do you want to be like someone else?
JuiceBox69
7 years ago
Hungry that comment was sweet like tea bro


I also thank you for your concern


I'm not trying to be exactly like papi but I'm very aware of his success and have been studying of the why, what and how that has made him so loved, cherished, sought after and famous let alone his dedication in compiling solid information that is truly entertainment and informative.

Like any avenue in life one can be successful by studying other success people then applying the formula to ones own life...and of course not to cry cat it but enternulize it and make it your own that is best self expression of your true self

That's all I'm trying to do
HungryGiraffe
7 years ago
Go Juice - TUSCLer #1!
Jascoi
7 years ago
i admire your dedication.
JuiceBox69
7 years ago
Thanks :)
san_jose_guy
7 years ago
In my view, the most important thing to put in a review is how much front room GFE there is. That alone determines whether or not the back room is worth it.

SJG

When the Ubermensh is born and Dougster's plan goes into action:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXIaKbq1…

Who likes organ music?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO_h00i6…

Obviously, we need more people with guns
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/man-…
ime
7 years ago
hey sanjosecumdumpster why don't you write a review, faggot
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