tuscl

Update On My Crazy Love Situation....You Guys Love Reading It Really ;)

Sunday, June 25, 2017 5:01 PM
If you don't know of my crazy unique situation yet, please read here first. You cant properly judge without knowing EVERYTHING -> [view link] I got a little bit pushy the other day. (I didn't mean it like THAT) but she felt like I was forcing her to make a decision and got a little bit upset. She said "You know I view you in that way and could be with you but I'm just not ready right now. I'll know when I am. You just can't push these things. If I jump into a relationship with you when i'm not ready...it simply won't be real. I have so much going on with my family and in my head. But one day i'll be ready and of course i'll let you know". She did text me at 5am saying that she hates feeling as though she's messing with my head and driving me crazy and would understand if I let go and sought somebody else who can commit immediately. We had a very serious conversation the next night. Her divorced parents have been fighting and she is stuck in the middle of it, they've phoned her whilst she's in the middle of work etc. And a customer at work touched her inappropriately. She really confided in me and seemed like she'd had enough. She was so tired and felt low. She went into great detail about her Bi-Polar disorder and explained to me in huge detail what it would be like if we were to be together due to her illness and how it affects her. I was advised to google it before we next see each other. She also said my younger age and low experience with women would be great because she isn't sexy all the time and hates guys who assume she is always ready for sex because of her job. She made it clear that i'd no longer be allowed in the club if we dated and teased that she could then give me free dances on her apartment rooftop. She wants to quit stripping in about 2 years and maybe move into Sex Phone Line work or Webcamming and apparently i'm the only person who knows of this. Its almost like she was testing me and giving me a final checklist to see if we were compatible. Just throw your opinions at me guys. I can take the bad too. But don't even speak if you haven't read the previous part, which I linked at the start. Thanks.

30 comments

  • hump_my_leg_12346
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    7 years ago
    Stop it! Time for a new club and a new CF. This girl will pull you so far into her shit and you don't even realize it. ABORT ABORT ABORT
  • hump_my_leg_12346
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    7 years ago
    When I was 20 I read 'Great Expectations' and that helped. Really puts young blind love into perspective.
  • HarryJones
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    7 years ago
    Yes but did you actually read my original post? Its long as fuck and I sound like i'm in denial but at this stage, its not a scam. I'm not even looking for stripper advice or help identifying a con. I'm literally looking for relationship advice with a girl
  • HarryJones
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    7 years ago
    I've tested her and had enough discussions to the point where we almost fell out. Its just this whole waiting around thing that i'm stuck with. I'm fine waiting but when do you guys even guess that she'll be ready or how I should react?
  • hump_my_leg_12346
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    7 years ago
    I did read it. You should really consider a tldr version though because that post was longer than Mandingo's BBC.
  • Uprightcitizen
    •
    7 years ago
    May god have mercy on your soul...
  • HarryJones
    •
    7 years ago
    Hahaha Mandingo's BBC
  • Bj99
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    7 years ago
    You are friend zoned, and she's in desperate need of a best friend and support. So she's considering settling (or umm.. pushing herself, depending on how you view it) for a relationship she is completely comfortable with. Her current level of stress and vulnerability won't last forever. A civi girl might meet her Prince Charming when she feels like that, and settle down and stay that way, but strippers are more freesprited and she will likely decide she wants more, once she is feeling stronger. My advice is to turn a relationship down. Show her that you will be there for her as a friend, and an admirer, but you won't settle for being her comfort zone. Sit back and be receptive and supportive, but don't go after her. Let her pursue you when she is ready. If she every really wants you, it will be clear and she will give you the upper hand. I don't think you'll actually have her if you settle for less.
  • rh48hr
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    7 years ago
    It looks as though you are looking for absolution for this relationship. But my advice is still the same, you are too young to be this serious about a girl who is not available right now. If she was all in on this right now, it might be different. But she doesn't know when she will be ready and she may never be ready. And once you are dating her, it could go south after six months to a year. You are missing out on life waiting on her. Until she is ready, you should date other people. See what is out there. You are not being unfaithful because you are not in a relationship with her.
  • HarryJones
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    7 years ago
    Now we are getting to some better advice :) Thats what I have been doing and will continue to do. I'll stick by her, i'll have some fun and support her. She'll support me if I have a bad day, etc. I am crazy for her but its in my head (when i'm unoccupied or sleeping) If i'm busy its okay. And I don't force the issue, I dont try to almost marry her everytime we meet....just sometimes when i'm drunk or she nudges me into that kinda conversation
  • HarryJones
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    7 years ago
    Looking forward to my birthday to be honest. She seems pretty excited and keeps asking what I want...even though its 2 months away. And she said that she enjoyed me chilling at her place for the first time last week and that we should do it again sometime. So theres always that to look forward to as well. If i'm speaking to her or i'm with her in person, i'm okay. I dont overthink so much or drive myself mad. I relax and just have fun. We do connect really well
  • gawker
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    7 years ago
    I have read your whole story and you haven't talked too much about money which with the very large majority of strippers is the prime motivator. You have mentioned several times that she is bi-polar. Are you just taking her word for this diagnosis? Does she see a therapist? Is she medicated? Have you seen her highs & lows? While you clearly are enamored with this woman, there are far too many imponderables.
  • Bj99
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    7 years ago
    Do you talk to other girls? You need to respect your own feelings for her, but you might be missing out on someone amazing while you are obsessing over her. I'm not saying to move on forcefully, but you need to date.
  • Dougster
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    7 years ago
    Go out with her and doing something fun. Don't just talk about serious shit all the time. Although you will have to do some of that too.
  • HarryJones
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    7 years ago
    gawker. Trust me man, I have seen the highs and lows. There were a few things she has always done that have confused me a little bit or things that i've taken personally. But since she's told me about the Bi-Polar, it makes sense. I read a symptoms list and she is guilty of so many of them
  • rh48hr
    •
    7 years ago
    If she is not on meds for her bipolar, things can get crazy. If she is supposed to be taking meds and is not that's an issue as well. When they are in a mania stage they will feel so good they don't think they need the meds. The depression stage can get as bad as contemplating suicide. There's also a possibility for an anger stage as well. The meds do not eliminate bipolar they make the highs not so high and the lows not so low. She will dealing with this for the rest of her life. Bipolar disorder is one of the factors in my divorce. I dealt with this disease for a number of years. It is not easy.
  • hump_my_leg_12346
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    7 years ago
    Dude. Move on. Your hormones and propensity for drama disqualify you from making a sound decision. You are getting sucked into some serious bullshit and she's not that interested so ABORT.
  • Mainster
    •
    7 years ago
    Seriously, punch out NOW.
  • Lone_Wolf
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    7 years ago
    OP: There is no moving on from this and you will, without doubt, ride this to where she drives this train regardless of any advice you receive here. You're sprung and that's that. The biggest risk, at your young age, is the time you will waste thinking about this honey instead of improving your life. The only thing I can suggest is to steel your heart for the potential, if not likely, risk she will leave you for some loser negating all the BS "not ready" crap she is feeding you. Young love is a bitch. Best of luck, sincerely.
  • Pizza (hiatus)
    •
    7 years ago
    Hello HarryJones, I read your entire story and what strikes me as a big positive is that your relationship with her always seems to be progressing, though at a very gradual and steady place. For example, you mentioned that you spent time at her place last week and that she expressed to you that she enjoyed it. That sounds like a promising sign. That said, Bj99 could be right that you may end up being friend-zoned, or you may end up losing her to some random nobody who doesn't have much in terms of brains but somehow hits her attraction triggers like Lone_Wolf mentioned. Obviously, you care very much for this girl, and she seems to care for you. As someone who is in a somewhat similar, though distinctly different, situation I know--as you do--that no words will dissuade you from pursuing this relationship, because no one else comes close to piquing your interests or desires like this girl does. She is also coming out of an abusive relationship so she may just want to take it easy and build up some long-term trust before she commits to anything firmly. I do agree with a previous poster from a previous thread that it is important that you not disparage yourself in front of her. It's not just about annoying her, but it's also important that you have a mindset that you will be good for her and not just good enough. If you don't mind I may send you a private message in your inbox, because I find myself finding certain parallels between your situation and mine and I would like to bounce some questions and ideas off of you so I can have a better understanding of what I am going through. Thank you, EchoPapa
  • Dougster
    •
    7 years ago
    Yeah, I don't understand all these people who say there is a big risk in dating her. So maybe he dates her, it doesn't work out. They break up. He feels bad for a month or two and then starts dating a new girl and forgets all about it. He picked up so valuable experience, probably had some fun banging her a bunch of times, and since he is only 20 it's not like "remaining time" is some scarcity in his life. I say go for it.
  • Bj99
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    7 years ago
    ^ good point. It's not the end of the world to have a bad relationship.
  • pensionking
    •
    7 years ago
    IME, relationships rarely ever work out unless the attraction is equal, opposite and mutual. One party desiring another without that desire returned in the same manner and quantity are a recipe for disaster. Oh, it's fun for awhile. The needy partner clings to every potential signal for future happiness. The key word in the phrase "mutual attraction" is MUTUAL. Eventually, you will get your heart broken. Depending on your self-esteem, you will suffer for a shorter or longer period of time after. If you had balls of steel, I would say ride it out, enjoy the peaks and ignore the valleys. However, it sounds like you have moth balls where your testicles are supposed to be. The fact that you are here asking for advice is further evidence. Balls of steel would say, "I don't give a damn what anybody advises -- I'm gonna hit that as long as it is hittable. Fuck it. Live for today!" That is not you. You are being repeatedly advised here to get out. Get out. Have more regard for yourself. Why anyone would knowingly choose to enter into a relationship with someone bipolar is so far beyond me, I can't even think of anything to say other than -- plenty 'o fish in the sea. Move on, dude.
  • Dougster
    •
    7 years ago
    pensionking: "That is not you." People are still pretty malleable at 20. Doing a 180 is rare but people can definitely move more in a direction if they put their mind to it.
  • pensionking
    •
    7 years ago
    Good point Doug. Requires the ability to see oneself clearly with the strong desire to change.
  • HarryJones
    •
    7 years ago
    So somebody with BiPolar just has to be single forever and treat like a crazy person forever? And I am sticking with it. No advice on here is gonna change my mind. I was just looking for some opinions....not like I had anything better to do at 2am on a Sunday evening with a week away from work
  • hump_my_leg_12346
    •
    7 years ago
    Good luck! (you're gonna need it)
  • Pizza (hiatus)
    •
    7 years ago
    Hello HarryJones, I sent you a message. Good luck with everything, EchoPapa
  • Jboogy1000
    •
    7 years ago
    Any new updates?
  • rh48hr
    •
    7 years ago
    Yes Harry - tell us how it's going. Good or bad.
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